Lois took a deep breath and pressed a hand to her stomach as if doing so would calm the butterflies that were ricocheting around, making her feel slightly nauseated. She could do this. She was Lois Lane, daughter of General Lane; she'd faced down everything from generals to diplomats and had never once backed down. This, by comparison, was nothing, right? It was just a party. At the Luthor Mansion. Where she had to hang on Lex's arm all night. And pretend she was crazy about him. While her heart lay in broken pieces all the while.
"What am I doing?" she whimpered and started to turn to race back up to the bedroom Lex's staff had prepared for her, where she thought it might behoove her to hide out for the next two or three…years. She'd only taken a couple staggered steps toward the staircase, however, when she paused and rested against the warm wood paneling of the wall, taking a few deep breaths as she tried to quell her nerves.
"You can do this, Lane," she whispered fiercely to herself, ashamed and annoyed by her brief spurt of cowardice. She thought of all the reasons why she had to go into that room tonight and pretend to be the current Lex Girl. There was Peter Williams, whose body had no doubt been obliterated beyond recognition in that explosion at the warehouse, liking leaving his family nothing more than ashes to bury. There were the people who worked at LuthorCorp, whose jobs were on the line if the company's troubles continued. There was Lex himself, who wasn't Lois's favorite person by any means, but whose life could be in danger if his saboteur's obsession continued. Lois didn't like the man – she thought he should be brought to justice for several reasons – but she didn't want him to be murdered. And…Lois sighed as she capitulated and accepted one final truth. There was Clark Kent himself. No, he hadn't died on the floor of that warehouse, but it was only by luck and grace that he'd survived. Another day, another man…another few seconds of exposure to radiated rock…and the story could very easily have ended differently. Lois couldn't afford to forget that, not that she stood much chance of doing so when it had not been so very long before that she'd been convinced that he had been murdered in such a fashion.
She'd spent the last couple of days feeling so lost, adrift in what had been an ocean of guilt and grief. It had seemed like an eternity that she'd felt she'd lost not just her best friend but a large part of herself in that random act of senseless violence; even now, she knew she wasn't back to the woman she had been a week before. If she ever was going to get back to the person she once had been – if she was ever to regain her sense of self – she wasn't going to do so by doing something so uncharacteristically Lois as running away from her problems, her fears, her choices. She was going to have to approach them head on.
With on last deep breath, Lois braced herself, squared her shoulders, and turned determinedly back toward the solid oak door panel from which she'd just fled. "You can do this, Lane," she murmured again, this time feeling ever so slightly more confident that the words were true.
At the door again, she paused, wondering if she should knock, but then she decided against it. She wasn't the type to wait on any man, least of all Lex Luthor. Instead, she grabbed the cold metal of the doorknob in one suspiciously clammy hand and, without any warning to any occupants inside the room, threw open the door.
He was there – of course he was there – standing with his back to her as he stared silently into the depths of the ever-present fire that was crackling softly in its grate, casting shadows that danced ominously (or was that just in Lois's head?) around the room. He didn't turn upon hearing her entrance, so Lois stepped forward and cleared her throat, wanting him to acknowledge her presence. Sure, she could have headed to the party without him, but that would undermine the image she was trying to project. So, like it or not, she was going to have to arrive on his arm.
A few more seconds passed before Lex moved, and Lois wondered if that was intentional on his part or not. She certainly wouldn't put it past him to have made her wait for the simple fact that it was in his power to do so. Finally, however, his head turned and he regarded the woman before him silently, his gaze roaming silently up her body and seeming to take in every inch of her appearance. She felt like fidgeting under the weight of his regard, and she didn't know if her sudden desire for movement was in line with running out of the room or with slapping that supercilious smirk off his face. For the sake of her dignity, she hoped it was the latter.
His eyes travelled from her midnight blue velvet shoes to the dress of the same color that clung to her body like a second skin. Past the diamond necklace and earrings he'd had sent to her room along with the garments he'd purchased her (there had certainly been nothing left intact at her own apartment that she could wear this evening, though were it not for the fact that even Lois balked at the idea of arriving naked to a formal party, she would never have consented to wear anything this particular Luthor purchased for her) and insisted she wear. She'd almost not done so, but she'd finally caved and slipped them on when she'd realized that they, too, would help cement the idea of her as Lex's girlfriend in the minds of all the other guests at the party. He stared in silent contemplation of the makeup she'd meticulously applied before his eyes travelled up to her loose French knot, with the tendrils of hair that escaped and fell to frame her face. He didn't appear to leave an inch of her body unstudied, and Lois felt naked, vulnerable, exposed by his examination. If there was one thing she didn't want to feel in front of Lex Luthor, it was vulnerable.
"I trust I pass your inspection?" she asked dryly, wanting to say more but keenly aware of the video cameras that no doubt trained on her this very moment. That reminded her; one thing she was going to have to mention to Lex at the first opportunity was that he stood to lose his life and his manhood if she discovered a single piece of recording equipment in her bedroom. Not only did she have no intention of letting him videotape her when she was in a state of semi- or complete undress, but she desperately needed one place to go where she didn't have to pretend to like him for the benefit of anyone who might be watching. And she knew there were plenty of people who could, would, or did have access to his not-quite-secure security system. As far as her investigation into the saboteur went, Lois had no reason to suspect any member of Lex's staff in particular, but she also knew the man in front of her hardly had a pristine track record when it came to being an excellent judge of character.
Though, she admitted to herself with a small wry smile, she was clearly hardly one to talk.
Lex held out his hands to her as he stepped forward. "My dear, you look…breathtaking," he said, and only someone who knew him as she did (or maybe loathed him as she did) would see the ironic tilt to his mouth as he said the words. As he stepped closer, however, his eyes narrowed and he said softly, a soft note of surprise in his voice, "You changed your hair."
Lois raised a self-conscious hand to her hair before nodding gently. It felt so strange, having her natural hair color back. She'd gone out earlier that day and bought the necessary hair dye, and she'd spent quite a while in her bathroom with the bottle of goo and the plastic gloves, trying to get the color even. Once she'd beheld the chocolate-brown locks in the mirror, she'd almost balked and raced out to get her tresses lightened again, but she'd narrowly refrained from doing so. She didn't want to be that girl any more – the aimless girl without aspirations in life, who had spent so many years travelling from one place to another, unwilling to let people get close to her. Until she finally let her walls down, letting people in, caring what they thought of her…and look where it had gotten her. No, her light brown hair – like her friendship with Clark (and maybe even Chloe) – was a part of her past now, to be mercifully, ruthlessly, left behind. It was time for her to grow up. "I did," she finally simply agreed.
"It looks…it suits you," her companion told her as he grabbed one of her hands and raised it to his lips. Perhaps, like she, he was only too painfully aware of the silent mechanical eyes that were watching.
"Thank you," she said, perhaps a bit too curtly. Softening her tone with a smile, she squeezed his hand and tilted her head to the door. "Should we go? I don't want to keep your guests waiting."
In another lifetime (as if she would ever be so stupid as to be taken in by this man) – so perhaps she should restate and say another woman might be taken in by the look he was giving her right now. He looked like he was thinking that if she were another woman, he'd suggest they keep the partygoers waiting. But she was nothing more or less that who she was, and so was he, so instead he nodded and agreed. "Of course, my dear. I can't wait to be the envy of everyone in the room tonight."
Lois had to give it to him. He may be a lying, cheating, murderous snake, but he was a very good actor. Then again, in order to hide his true self from the world, he'd have to be.
She let her hand stay where it was, tucked in his own, as he led her from the room.
Several hours later, Lois wondered anew at the wisdom of her plan. If this party wasn't the most unbearable experience of her life, it had to be up there on the list. It wasn't just pretending to be Lex's date that was difficult and painful – though that certainly got massive points. She hated having to bite her tongue, hide her thoughts, pretend to be someone she wasn't. She'd never liked doing it, never been good at it, and even knowing what was on the line didn't make the chore any easier.
Neither did it make it any easier to withstand the carefully veiled questions to put her by the paparazzi. She'd want to kill Lex for putting her in this position even if she liked him, so the fact that she didn't made restraining her temper especially hard.
"So, would you say that you've had these feelings for Lex for very long?" the woman in front of her was cooing, and Lois's eyes flickered toward the party once again. In an effort of self-preservation, she'd come to the conclusion that she could not look at this woman dead on, as there was something a little ridiculous about her, from her clearly botoxed features and her collagen-enhanced lips to the post-factory improvements she'd had done on her bustline.
"Oh, I can honestly say that I've had these feelings for Lex for a long time now," Lois replied with a forced smile as she snagged a glass of champagne off a passing waiter's tray. She didn't want to lay it on too thick, but she wanted to make it believable, so she added, "I can't imagine anyone ever wouldn't feel the way I do toward him!" Okay, so she wanted to make it believable. That didn't mean she'd suddenly developed the ability to outright lie.
"How interesting," the woman simpered, and Lois tried not to roll her eyes. "So, I understand you've just moved into the mansion…" Lois wanted to ask how she'd come upon this news, but she didn't ask. Maybe she didn't want to know. "Are there any other developments we can expect in the near future?" At Lois's clueless expression, the woman prodded, "I mean to ask…can we expect an engagement any time soon?"
Lois choked on the gulp of champagne she'd been downing when this particular question was lobbed her way, and she slapped herself repeatedly on the chest as she tried to gulp some air into her aching lungs. "I-I don't…we haven't…I can't even begin…" she wheezed through her coughs. "No!" she finally yelped when she had the air to do so. "I mean…I doubt it. It's…uh…it's a little too soon to be talking about that, and Lex and I…we've decided we want to take it slow."
Clearly thinking of the fact that Lois had moved into the mansion that very day, the woman's mouth twisted as she murmured, "Obviously."
Lois was just thinking of bolting to a safer corner of the room – not that there were likely to be many conversations to be had this evening that were at all safer in topic – when a man approached her on her left. "May I have this dance?" he asked, offering her a smile that was a tad too close to a leer for her taste. Or maybe she simply felt that way because his gaze hovered somewhere around the area of her cleavage and didn't seem to be inclined to travel anywhere else any time soon.
"Sure. Great. Yeah," she agreed, taking the hand he offered and all but dragging him onto the dance floor. A few minutes later, however, she wished she'd thought of a different method of escape. In his preoccupation with her breasts, he wasn't paying the closest of attention to his feet, and he'd already trodden on her toes three times. Plus, she swore that if his hands tried to travel south one more time, she was going to deck him. To top it all off, any hopes she might have entertained that this man might be able to give her any information that might be helpful in her investigation were quickly dispelled. Her dance partner was not only incredibly drunk, but he was clearly an idiot as well.
His behavior made her certainty on that matter abundantly clear. "So, you're Lex's new girl, huh?" he was asking her chest, and Lois had to stifle a snort of laughter when it occurred to her to wonder which of her breasts he was speaking to. "You know, he and I have been friends for a long time now." She only grunted in reply, as he stomped on her toe once again and the pain briefly robbed her of her ability to say more. "Say, listen. When it doesn't work out with him, you should give me a call. I'll show you a good time." Once again, she didn't speak, but this time it was because she was so flabbergasted by his forthright proposition that she couldn't find the words for a moment. Instead, she just stared at him in shock.
"What are you…you know, you're at his party! Don't you think it's a little rude to suggest that he and I…" she finally spluttered.
"What?" he asked, sounding faintly defensive, and his gaze finally lifted to her face. "Sorry to break it to you, Peaches, but girls never last very long with Lex. Not even girls with bodies as hot as yours."
Lois grabbed his roaming hand in an iron grip and repositioned it for what felt like the hundredth time. "Your concern is touching, I'm sure," she said acidly as she did so.
In his drunken state, he either didn't hear her heavy sarcasm or he didn't care, because he blundered ahead without stopping to ponder the wisdom of his next words. "It's okay, Hotlips," he murmured in a fashion that he no doubt considered comforting as he drew her closer. The alcohol on his breath slapped Lois in the face, almost causing her to stagger back a few steps. She might have done so, in fact, if her dance partner didn't have such an unyielding grip on her at the moment. "When Lex gets tired of you, you won't be left in the cold if you don't want to be. I may not have a mansion in Podunk, Nowheresville," his voice was so snide as he said it that Lois wanted to slap the smirk off his face. He was possibly the most insufferable man she'd ever met, and if it wasn't for the fact that she was painfully aware of the role she was trying to play – and the fact that Lex Girls never caused scenes in public – she'd happily make the evening as excruciating for the man in front of her as he was rapidly making it for her. In her efforts to quell temporary fit of blind rage, she didn't hear his next few thinly veiled propositions. She did manage to turn her attention back to him in enough time to hear him make a suggestion that was so explicit that not even Lois could believe he'd uttered it in public.
Oh, to hell with the part she was trying to play. She relished the grunt of pain he made when her knee jerked and rammed into a vital portion of his anatomy. "Thanks for the offer," she said sweetly as he doubled over in pain. "But I think I'll pass."
She barely noticed the stares of the other guests as she whirled on her heel and strode angrily toward the side door leading to the veranda. If she didn't get out of this room right now – if she didn't get some fresh air to clear he head – she was afraid she'd give in to the temptation to walk back to the groaning figure on the floor and finish the job.
She wasn't left alone for long. To her surprise, however, it wasn't Lex who joined her on the terrace, coming to chastise her behavior (though she had no doubt that such a conversation was coming). It was a complete stranger, and he didn't come to criticize her actions; he came to compliment them.
"Well, I have to say, that was incredibly refreshing," the softly spoken voice broke into her thoughts, and she had to consciously release the death-grip she had on the railing surrounding the veranda so she could turn and face her companion. She wasn't quite up to mustering a smile yet, but she figured it was too dark out for him to notice anyway. Though he was standing by the tall glass doors and the lights from the party flickered dimly through the windows, he also stood mostly in shadow, and she couldn't get a clear look at his face. He seemed unperturbed by the darkness, however, and when she'd turned to face him, he explained, "I don't think I've ever seen anyone give Bobby such a well-deserved put-down before."
Lois couldn't help her soft snort of laughter. "That Neanderthal a friend of yours?" she asked, her earlier tension starting to fade.
"Not exactly," her companion admitted. "But, at the risk of sounding like I'm bragging, that's the thing about having money. At a certain point, you find yourself going to the same parties and having exactly the same conversation with the same people you did the week before. And that means you don't get too many chances to make new acquaintances…no matter how boorish and insufferable your previous ones might be."
Crossing her arms over her chest, Lois leaned back against the rail, her eyes peering into the darkness in an attempt to get a better look at her companion's face as she replied lightly, "You'll understand, I'm sure, if I have a hard time extending you too much pity."
Her companion let out a rueful chuckle. "The poor little rich boy act doesn't appeal to you, huh? Well, I can't say that I'm terribly surprised. I hope you won't take it the wrong way if I admit that I've watched you this evening, and you don't seem like the kind of woman Lex normally attracts."
She watched as he approached her. "And how is that, exactly?" she asked softly.
"I don't usually think very highly of the women who normally grace his arm," he said in lieu of an answer.
Lois let out a shaky laugh; he was standing so close to her now that she could feel his breath fan across her cheek, but she still couldn't really see his face. For some reason, that made her unaccountably nervous, but she was still leaning against the railing and had no means of retreat. "I'm flattered," she said, trying to hide her jitters. "At least, I think I am. You might be damning me with faint praise."
"Not at all, Miss Lane," he replied in kind.
She tensed, surprised that he knew her name. Then she remembered the way her name had already been splashed across the gossip rags in such a short amount of time, and she relaxed. Slightly. "That isn't very fair of you, you know. You seem to know my name, but I have no idea who you are."
A silence fell between them for a moment, and then she heard him answer softly, "Then I'll have to be sure to introduce myself at some point, but not right now. We don't have much time, and there's something I…" he paused, and she heard him take a deep breath. "I realize that you don't know me, and you have no reason to listen to me. But please believe that I have only your best interests at heart when I tell you that Lex Luthor isn't who you think he is."
He had her complete attention now, and her gaze sharpened on the shadows obscuring his face. What she wouldn't give for a full moon to suddenly appear in the sky; she could really use its light. "What do you mean?" she asked cautiously, trying to draw him out. Of course, plenty of people didn't like Lex Luthor, and there were likely more still who didn't trust him. By itself, the fact that the man in front of her was one of the throng wasn't terribly helpful; it wasn't even necessarily particularly noteworthy. It was, however, the first possible lead she'd come across since this entire fiasco had begun, and so she was going to jump on it.
"He's dangerous. He's hurt a lot of people, and I don't want you to be next," he said intently.
Was it really good intentions that had him trying to warn her off, or was it something more sinister? She didn't know, and it was frustrating that this was all so difficult. Was it too much to ask that the villain, whoever he might be, just call her up and tell her in a straightforward fashion, "Hello, I'm the person who's been trying to take down Lex Luthor. I had Peter Williams killed. And I had your best friend shot. I hope there are no hard feelings, but if there are, you can find me at this address."
"Is that a threat?" she asked softly. "Because you should know that I don't scare easily."
She heard a heavy sigh in the darkness. "It's a warning. It's up to you whether you take my words to heart or not."
She swallowed heavily, suddenly very aware that she was alone with this man she didn't know, and that the sounds of the party would probably mask any noise she made, if the need to cry out became apparent. Neither was it comforting to realize that her presence would hardly be missed, even if something bad did happen to her. But she was Lois Lane; she could take care of herself. And even when she couldn't, fear wasn't something she normally indulged, let alone advertised to the rest of the world. "I…appreciate your warning, but I didn't just leap into this relationship blindfolded or anything. I know exactly what kind of man Lex is."
When she heard the scrape of his shoe across the stone of the veranda, she knew he was stepping away from her, and she knew she couldn't just let him get away. "Wait!" she blurted abruptly. "You can't just throw an enigmatic warning at my feet and then just walk away!" But it was clear that he had, because when she held her breath in the silence, she realized that she was alone. Confused by the fact that she hadn't seen him cross over the lights spilling through the doors leading to the party, she kept her hand on the railing and followed it around until she came to a small flight of stone steps leading to the lawn. She didn't even bother to take them down, knowing that he'd be long gone by this point. However, it was worth noting that the man, whoever he'd been, had clearly known the layout to the terrace, as he didn't seem to have been at all hindered by the darkness when making his exit. That was interesting.
Still, it wasn't much to go on. "Damn it, Lane!" she muttered, furious with herself for letting her one good (maybe) lead escape. But who had that man been, and what was his purpose in warning her about Lex? Running over the conversation in her mind, she couldn't think of a single thing he'd said that might indicate his intentions to be anything other than what he'd stated them to be, but she couldn't quite shake the feeling that maybe there was something more behind his words than he'd let on. So was he friend, or foe? For the moment, considering he'd gotten away from her, it didn't seem to matter.
She knew she should return to the party – her absence was no doubt conspicuous at this point – but she still didn't move. Instead, she rested her hands on the railing and tilted her head back, staring up at the billions of stars in the sky as she took a few deep, calming breaths. It was the first time all night that she'd really felt like she could breathe. The party, and Lex's company, had been suffocating before, and she'd desperately longed to escape. This was nothing more than a brief reprieve, she knew, but it was still better than nothing.
All those stars up there…and Clark was from one of them. She couldn't help it that he came to mind; she thought about him a lot more often than she'd care to admit. He'd said that his planet was gone, that those green pieces of meteor rock were all that was left, but she wondered if it was true. During those countless evenings that she'd spent by his side, staring up into the night sky, he'd explained to her that the light she was seeing was from objects billions of light years away. It took years for the light to travel across the vastness of space – so long, in fact, that some of those stars were long-dead by the time their light could be seen on Earth. She wondered if one of those little pinpoints of light she saw in the evening sky had travelled all the way from Krypton, the last trace of a planet that had burned out of existence long ago. Well…almost the last trace.
"Oh…Clark…," Lois whispered to herself, bowing her head once more to stare with sightless eyes at the ground instead. Why couldn't she just let him go? Why couldn't she just move on? She'd told him, hadn't she, that she never wanted to see him again? She'd told Chloe – and honestly, too – that she wished she could forget them both. She wanted to let them go, to move on with her life. To forget. That it was not in Lois's nature to do any of these things was irrelevant. She just didn't want to hurt any more.
She crossed her arms to ward off the sudden chill that swept down her spine. For a woman who just wanted so very badly to put the past behind her, she certainly was doing a terrible job of turning her back on it. Still, even if she really was the type of person who could just walk away (and she really wasn't), she was well aware that the time had long passed that she could safely do so. It was a difficult position she was in. Between the devil and the deep blue sea, as her father would say. Stuck between two dangerous alternatives, with neither being either the safe choice or the wise one.
Her mind wandered once again to the decision she'd made earlier that day. It was foolish to stay, to remain in proximity with Lex. He was without a doubt a dangerous man – there were more skeletons in his closet than in a graveyard. In his eyes, she was expendable, she knew – actually, not just expendable. A liability. She'd spent so much time trying to bring him down, and she was certain that he hadn't forgotten this in the false security of their temporary truce. She could lose so much, if she remained in the clutches of this cold charade. Her dignity. Her pride. Her life. But there was so much at risk now if she walked away. It went beyond the people who stood to lose their jobs if the sabotage continued. It even went beyond the loss of Peter Williams' life, though somebody should certainly be brought to justice for his murder.
She was risking Clark's life, his safety, his secret, with every moment she spent with Lex. Reminders of the friend she'd lost – lobbed at her by a man who had no real understanding of how that friendship had been taken from her in truth – were constant and cruel. It hurt her to think of Clark, and she harbored no illusions that Lex didn't absolutely revel in that knowledge. How many times did the ghost get dragged into their casual conversation? Even at the party, Lex had made a point to refer to the man who wasn't present no fewer than four times before Lois had been forced to take sanctuary on the opposite side of the room, where she'd been cornered by the heavily-lacquered Maria Harper.
Lex wanted to hurt her, and the only way he knew to do it was to throw Clark in her face. She could take his insults, his not-so-subtle insinuations that she'd meant nothing to the man she'd lov…befriended (after all, she had more than sufficient evidence that there was more truth behind these insinuations than she cared to admit). She was terrified, however, that she'd unwittingly give something away, that she'd let slip to Lex that Clark wasn't dead after all. He was alive, invulnerable, an alien more powerful than anything Lex Luthor ever could have dreamed.
Her hastily-concocted plan, so brilliant the day before, now had infinite potential to blow up in her face, and she didn't see any way to minimize the chances of it doing so. It had been so perfect, or so she'd thought, and even though there'd been an element of risk her plan, even as she'd originally concocted it, it was not more than she'd been able to accept. She'd been willing – eager, even – to put her life on the line to find the man who'd killed her best friend. "Oh, you might as well stop pretending, Lois," she muttered derisively to herself. To find whoever had killed the man she'd loved.
But Clark wasn't dead anymore – or, rather, he'd never died at all, and now she was risking not only her life, but his as well. It was a price she was no longer willing to pay, but what choice did she have? He was in danger – they were both in danger – if she stayed, but would that danger be at all lessened if she bowed out now? Peter Williams would still be dead, his murderer not brought to justice. The sabotage would continue, and people would likely lose their jobs, if not their lives. And Lex would wonder why the woman who'd so passionately sought vengeance now seemed willing and able to live without it, and he wouldn't quit digging until he found out why.
She couldn't take that chance, but there was so much on the line now in this dangerous game she played. That she'd unwittingly put Clark in his current predicament was irrelevant, as was the fact that it wouldn't have been an issue at all if she'd known he hadn't actually been murdered that day. It had been her decision that now plagued her, and she had to admit in retrospect that it had been nothing more than hubris. It had been hubris to think that she was clever enough to make a deal with the Devil, and one could say that she was only going to get what she deserved. Except now she wasn't the only one who would have to pay up.
It was an untenable situation, but Lois had only herself to blame for having thrown herself into it. She could hate Chloe for hiding the truth from her, she could hate Clark for going along with the deception, but she couldn't lay all the blame at their feet. It had been Lois, after all, who'd gone to Lex for help, even though she'd known what she was getting to and even after she'd been warned away.
So now she had to find out who was behind the sabotage at LuthorCorp by pretending to date Lex Luthor without revealing to anyone that her entire motivation for making such an alliance was now null and void. Once she'd brought him to justice, well…the rest frankly wasn't her problem. Chloe and Clark had decided to fake his death; they could damn well find a way out of it when the time came.
Lois took another deep breath, dropping her hands to her sides, where she wiped her damp palms against the soft fabric of her dress. It was, as she'd already concluded, an untenable situation. An impossible one. But she was Lois Lane. She could do this. If anyone could pull this off, it was she.