SPECIAL HOLIDAY CHAPTER~! So although the original storyline happens quite fast, I wanted to do a little something for Christmas and have a cute Ares/Levi moment since the previous chapter was rather...ahem...heated. This takes place after events in the next chapter, there aren't any spoilers only subtle hints. Enjoy~
It was that time of year again. The one day in 365 that Levi hated the most. Christmas. In my time knowing him on a personal level, I'd discovered the reason for his absurd and adamant dislike for the festive holiday. He was born on the 25th...Christmas was his birthday but after being forced by Hange to go to Survey Corps Christmas parties, I'd noticed that no one had ever wished Levi a happy birthday. Not once. That, and subtle questions later about whether certain senior officers and soldiers actually knew when his birthday was, led me to believe that no one, not even Erwin, knew. How did I find out, you ask? Easy - I am the best reconnaissance soldier in the entire military. Perhaps even in humanity itself.
...And I'd overheard him talking in his sleep once.
-Two weeks ago-
"Major Hange is so hard to buy for! I've been to the market place in Trost and Karanese, I even went to Stohess since October and I still haven't found anything." Sora told me as we both sat on the roof of the Survey Corps main headquarters. I grinned; we had arrived back two days ago under orders from Erwin. There were some things he wanted to discuss with Hange and Levi which meant that Eren's experiments were on hold and I was more or less on holidays. For once I actually hadn't minded not doing anything, or rather, doing something normal like chatting with a friend.
"Hange loves pretty much everything. If you see something and think 'Hange will probably like that', chances are you're right." I replied as I swung my legs back and forth over the gutter of the roof.
"Really? So...say I bought this really old painting of a boy called The Child of Titan..." Sora said unsurely. I nudged her arm,
"Hange'll love it." I told her. She smiled brightly having finally found something for Hange. I sighed and leaned back on my hands, closing my eyes as the sun warmed my face.
"So what about you? Have you got something for everyone?"
I opened my eyes, "Everyone except Levi...I never know what to get him."
"He was hard for me too. I just ended up getting him a new cravat." Sora admitted, "What did you get him last year? I can't remember."
"A ceramic sparrow. He acted really odd afterwards though...locked himself in his room for a few hours and when he came back, he'd been drinking." I said remembering the look in his eyes as he unwrapped the present and saw what it was. I had tried to apologize for such a shitty present afterwards but, like always, he didn't want to hear it.
"I remember that...I guess he's so difficult because no one knows anything about him. His past is mystery, we don't even know his last name." Sora said resting a hand on my hand to try and cheer me up. Although what she'd said was true, I knew things that no one except Erwin and Levi knew. Like what he did before joining the Survey Corps, how he got some of his scars and a small fraction of his childhood. But he would only answer the questions I asked him, nothing else. There was one question I really wanted to know but I didn't know how to ask or how he'd react to it.
"Well, I'm sure you'll figure something out. You always do." Sora said making me smile a little. I stretched and stood up,
"So how's everyone going without me?" I asked playfully, changing the subject from Levi's mysteries. Sora paused making me stop walking towards the door leading back inside and face her.
"Mission wise, we're good. But we miss you. I miss you; it's been really hard trying to fill your shoes. Holding lives in your hands is..."
"Stressful?" I supplied, Sora nodded, "I often lie awake wondering whether I'm good enough to do it." Erwin had told me to choose a member of my squad to fill my position until I came back; naturally my first choice was Sora. Ezra was too excitable and could get distracted easily, Red was...well...let's just leave that there. Klaus could do it but I knew that he would have been far more comfortable following orders than giving them. Sora on the other hand was level-headed, smart and she could always make the right decision no matter what. I trusted her immensely.
"Sora, you'll do fine. Trust me, you have what it takes." I told her.
I was on my way back from the kitchen later that night having succumbed to the sweet call of Moblit Berner's infamous chocolate cake when a quiet moan coming from inside the empty dining room made me stop. If someone was doing the dirty in there, I sure as hell didn't want to disturb them...but it didn't sound like that was the case so I figured taking a little peek would cause too much drama. Oh boy was I wrong. The room was deserted and dark except for one lone candle illuminating a stack of paper and a being slouched over onto the long wooden table. Whoever it was must have fallen asleep while writing reports. I turned to leave but froze when the sleeping person spoke;
"Farlan..." I knew that voice. I nudged open the door with my foot and walked as quietly as I could over to the sleeping lump of person. The flame flickered at my approach, I leaned over and saw the peaceful sleeping face of Levi complete with disheveled hair. His brows furrowed and he winced in his sleep, "No...more..." Two questions were running through my head as I placed my plate on the table; Who was Farlan and what were they doing to Levi?
"De-"
"Levi." I whispered resting my hand on his back and shaking him gently. Levi's cool grey eyes opened immediately and he sat up looking a little bewildered at what was happened. Wiping the back of his hand over his mouth in case he drooled, he glanced around the dark room before his eyes finally stopped on me.
"Fuck's going on?" he asked still woozy from sleep. I stepped back and leaned against the chair next to him.
"You were sleep talking and looked like you were in pain so I woke you up." I told him, "Was it a bad dream or a memory?"
Levi shook his head, resuming his usual countenance and stood, re-stacking the papers as he went, "It was nothing."
I shrugged and picked up my plate waiting to follow him out of the room. With the papers firmly secured under his arm, he blew out the candle and headed towards the ajar door. Despite my outside nonchalance, inside I was seriously worried. I knew he rarely slept more than three hours a day but this was the first time I'd ever seen him look so distressed and it greatly concerned me. With a sigh, he ran his hand through his hair as a half-assed attempt to tame it and turned towards Erwin's office. I watched him closely, as each millisecond passed my worry grew. Levi was a neat-freak both in his surroundings and person. Normally he would be fervently smoothing out the wrinkles and adjusting his uniform and wouldn't just attempt to fix his hair. Something was definitely wrong.
"Stop staring at me like that and go to bed before someone catches you with that piece of cake, brat." he told me trying to sound like his usual self. I gave a quiet reply and turned to leave in the opposite direction. However, there was something I really wanted to ask him and it wouldn't stop nagging at me until I turned around;
"Hey Levi...Who's Farlan?"
Levi stopped mid-step and stood there for a moment and I actually thought he was going to tell me. But instead he just kept walking down the hallway. I should have known it wouldn't be that easy to get answers out of him. But as I stared into the chocolatey goodness on my plate, I made myself a promise that I was going to get to the bottom of it.
I rose with the sun, the first time I'd been awake at dawn since my holiday started. Quickly dressing, I speed walked to where I knew the only man with all the answers would be. Erwin was a man of routine and he always started his day with a pre-dawn 5k jog. I waited by the stables as he jogged the last leg and came to a stop beside me.
"Ares, what can I do for you?" he asked between breaths before leaning over a large drum to splash water onto his face.
"It's about Levi, sir." I said while I watched him. Erwin straightened and slicked his blonde hair back, letting the water drip down onto the back of his sweat-soaked grey t-shirt.
"Oh? Is this something that should be addressed in a more private place and or he should be present for?" he asked with a suspiciously knowing look. I shook my head, what I wanted to know didn't sound as serious as he was making it out to be unless he knew something I didn't...which was entirely possible. That man had serious resources.
"Uh, no. You've known him for a long time, right?" I asked. Erwin turned to face me and leaned one hand against the drum, "I have."
"You don't happen to know of someone named Farlan, do you?"
Erwin's eyebrows shot up in surprise before dropping down into a frown, "Where did you hear that name? Did Hange tell you something?"
"N-no?" I replied, clearly I had just stumbled into something huge, "I found Levi asleep in the dining room last night and he mumbled the name."
Erwin sighed deeply and motioned for me to follow him, "Not many people know about Levi before he joined the Corps, I know more than most but not everything. I first met him about fourteen years ago when he was living in Sina's underground city. Back then he was the leader of gang of thugs, but I expect you may already know that, along with two constant shadows - eighteen year old Farlan Church and fifteen year old Isabel Magnolia. Levi considered them family and wouldn't join us without either of them."
"What happened?" I asked. I had a feeling I knew what happened ultimately but I was hoping Erwin could at least shed a little light on why Levi had been making that kind of face in his sleep.
"They were killed." he said confirming my suspicions, "During their first official excursion beyond Wall Maria. That is one incident that will stay with me forever...It was the first trial of formation we use today and it rained. We couldn't use the flair signals so you can imagine the mayhem. I didn't see what happened but I was there to witness him turn from the thug who only thought of himself to the man he is today. He doesn't act like it but their deaths still affect him." I slowed my pace and fell back behind Erwin. What he'd told me was...well it wasn't what I had expected. I thought back to the day of Eren's trial when I'd just found out I was going to be in charge of Eren. Levi had cornered me under the stairs and told me to grow up. It still hurts you doesn't it? I know.
God I was such a brat. Thinking that I was the only one who'd lost people I loved and that gave me some right to throw tantrums whenever things didn't go my way. It hadn't even occurred to me that he could have been in the same position all this time.
"I think the saddest part about the entire ordeal was when he'd found the Christmas presents Farlan and Isabel had hidden from him." Erwin continued as he stared up at the pinky-blue sky. I looked up at him,
"It happened around this time?" I asked, Erwin nodded once and continued walking away leaving me with a cold shiver. Levi...No wonder he hated Christmas and no one knew about his birthday. My heart shattered into one thousand pieces.
"Oi, what are you doing?" I jumped and spun on my heel to face the speaker. He was staring at me curiously, waiting for some kind of response. I couldn't help what I did next but Erwin's story had touched a nerve and before I knew it my arms were wrapped around his neck. He didn't say anything, he just stood there and let me hug him until I was finished.
"What was that about?" he asked when I stepped backwards. I shook my head, Erwin hadn't told me not to tell anyone, but I had a feeling that this was one of those things I shouldn't actually know about.
"Nothing." I said and forced myself to smile brightly at him. Levi arched an eyebrow but let it slide. Before my mask could slip, I left him and went back inside to absorb everything Erwin had told me. I surmised that my gift to him last year somehow stirred memories of his friends and I really didn't want repeat of that. I wanted him to enjoy Christmas and his birthday this year. I sat on the edge of my bed and thought about all I knew of Levi.
-One week ago-
"Remind me why we're doing this again?" Red complained rolling onto his back, hands behind his head and crossing one leg over the other. He, Klaus and I were all lying on the roof doing reconnaissance; the warmth of the sun was just a bonus Red seemed to be lapping up. Personally, I would have preferred the overcast cold weather that had been constant for the past week.
"It's important." Klaus answered, "Sora's the only one of us who's managed to get Captain Levi a gift, so we're looking for ideas."
"Oh yeah, what better way to get ideas than to SPY ON HIM!" Red shouted sarcastically. I jumped on him, clamping my hand tightly over his mouth.
"Shut up." I growled keeping my eyes on Levi standing in the field below. He had been conducting a training exercise with his team, getting them used to Eren and working out a new formation. Red mumbled something but it just sounded like muffled garbage. I removed my hand,
"Repeat that?"
"I said; 'It's still creepy and please remove your knee from my man-bits'." He replied. With a sharp glare, I shoved me knee up further, making him wince, before rolling off him. Served him right. Back down below Levi was still oblivious to our presence as he ordered his men about in the cold weather. I watched as he turned his head to the side and coughed, his breath puffed out like smoke around his hand.
"I got it." Red announced quietly, "He's cold, right? I'm gonna get him a scarf. Practical and cheap."
"You are so stingy." Klaus remarked shaking his head. Red rolled onto his back again and shrugged,
"Hey, I have a strict policy not to spoil people; that goes for friends, family and senior officers." he retorted casually.
"So those twenty-six presents addressed to Morgan don't mean anything, right?" Klaus said raising a dark eyebrow. Red closed his eyes and looked away,
"She's stuck in Stohess for Christmas this year with the rest of Team B, plus I missed her birthday this year too...And I buy things for her in memory of our parents too." he argued, "...And there's twenty-eight actually..." Klaus chuckled at Red's adoration for his little sister Morgan. I grinned internally, Red didn't know that my present to him this year was getting permission from Erwin to bring Morgan in for a few days. They rarely got to see each other and with it being Christmas and Red's amazing heroism during the attack on Trost, I wanted to give him something really special.
"Alright! That's enough for today!" Levi's voice echoed up to us and we watched while he, Eren, Olou, Petra, Eld and Gunther all headed back inside. I sighed and stood up. Another day gone without any progress on discovering new things about him. Damn.
"Well at least one of us got an idea." Klaus said oddly cheerful as he and Red walked with me back inside. Ezra met us at the bottom of the stairs, his cheeks aglow with a red hue.
"I just got back from the city - look!" he said grinning from ear to ear as he held up a black tin. Klaus took it from him and read the inscription; "Tie Guan Yin - The Iron Goddess of Mercy Oolong Tea Leaves."
"Tie Guan Yin?" Red asked curiously, his tongue fumbling over the foreign words. I took the offered tin from Klaus and looked it over.
"It's an extinct Oriental language known as Chinese. According to certain history books, the Chinese people were known for making some of the best tea." Ezra explained matter-of-factly.
"This particular blend is a balance between green and black tea." I added, "It's also very rare. Where did you get it?"
"Flea market. This old geezer was selling a box full of old junk, while I was digging around I found it. Look," he said taking the tin back and opening it up, "It's the real deal." I inhaled the earthy spices - that was definitely Oolong. Levi had a collection of rare tea and was always looking for more. Ezra had possibly stumbled upon the best gift anyone could ever give Levi.
"Strike three." Red said with a sly grin and elbowed me in the arm. I rolled my eyes at him, congratulated Ezra and went off to find Hange.
After checking the Major's usual hang outs, I finally checked the kitchen where I discovered Hange secretly devouring several spoonfuls of jelly.
"You know that's for everyone, right?" I asked leaning over to take a peek. Hange straightened immediately and dropped the spoon,
"I uh...I don't know what to say. Whenever I see jelly my brain just switches and I HAVE TO EAT ALL OF IT! It's a really bad habit of mine...I just love sweet gelatinous globs of coloured sugar!"
"I see that. Relax, I won't tell anyone but you really should stop eating so much of it." I said taking a seat on a nearby stool. Hange sighed and sat opposite me,
"I know, I know. Anyway, how's the secret mission going?" the Major asked curiously. I stretched,
"Annoying. I still have no idea." I replied, "How do you do it?"
"Easy, I don't worry over whether someone will like my gift or not after all it's the thought that counts the most."
I thanked Hange for the advice and went out to the stables. I still had so many things to think about and I didn't want a repeat of last year. Call me selfish, but I wanted to give Levi the perfect gift, and with so much happening inside the only place I could think properly was on Sterculus' back. Saddling him up, I headed out away from headquarters.
-Christmas Day-
I leaned on the balcony just watching the snow fall quietly. Everyone had been such a happy, festive mood all day and now that the final preparations were being carried out, my worries from the past fortnight were catching up to me. Levi, Klaus, Eld and Erwin had all gone out to get more firewood, Moblit and Ezra were both helping out in the kitchen and everyone else was decorating and placing their presents under the huge tree. I was supposed to be helping but I couldn't stand being around the cheeriness.
"Thought you might like this." Eren said placing a warm cup of cocoa on the railing in front of me, "Is everything okay, ma'am? You look a little...well...sad."
"Thanks." I said taking a hesitant sip, "I'm fine. Just thinking about things. And I told you before, Ares is fine."
"Christmas...I haven't celebrated Christmas since before...It's kinda hard to be around so much happiness when so much has been lost. I wondered whether I would be able to be happy without feeling guilty." Eren said making me look at him, "But it's good too, you know? Being able to have fun with people close to you once in a while is okay. Means you can be normal for a while."
His words struck a chord with me; I'd spent so much time worrying whether my gift to Levi was going to be good enough that I didn't realize what was really important. It wasn't whether a trinket could make someone happy, it was letting them feel your emotions and know your heart that counted the most. It's the thought that counts the most. Being able to have fun with people close to you once in a while is okay. He doesn't act like it but their death's still affect him. I wondered whether I would be able to be happy without feeling guilty. I think the saddest part about the entire ordeal was when he'd found the Christmas presents Farlan and Isabel had hidden from him.
"Eren..." I said handing him the cup of cocoa, "Thank you." I rushed inside knowing what it was I had to do. Inside, Olou and Gunther were putting the finishing touches on the tree while Petra was straightening and stacking the wrapped presents neatly. Red was dangling mistletoe above Sora's head while she tried to light the fire, pestering her to kiss him. I caused a stir as I ran past them all, causing Olou to almost fall off the chair he was standing.
"Ares - where's the fire?!" Red called out behind me. I didn't stop to answer.
"What's going on?" I heard Hange query as I burst through the door surprising the Major, Moblit and Ezra and weaved through them. I leaped three steps at a time down to the bottom floor and ran towards the front door. It opened and Klaus walked in bundled in a heavy woolen coat, scarf wrapped around his neck with logs for the fire in his arms. He stood in the door way to keep it open for the other three. I skidded to a stop as the freezing cold air hit my face.
"Ares, did something happen?" Erwin asked curiously, shaking the snow from his hair and off his own woolen coat. I shook my head,
"Uh, no sir. I just need to speak to Levi about something important." I said trying not to give anything away and making it sound like work talk. Erwin cocked a thick, blonde eyebrow curiously but stepped to the side to let me pass.
"Make it quick, Lieutenant, we'll be starting the gift-giving and I'm the one in the red hat this year." he said nodding to Eld and Klaus to follow him. Levi dropped the wood he was carrying and waited for the door to close before asking me what I wanted.
"I have a confession to make..." I said, "When you didn't answer my question the other night I went to Erwin." Levi's whole body tensed and he looked as though he wanted to kill me. Instead he turned his back to me and swore at the snow,
"Fucking bastard." he growled. I swallowed my nervousness and continued anyway,
"He told me about Farlan and Isabel and why you hate this time of year." I told him as I put my arms around him in a back hug, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I've acted like I was the only one suffering for last few years and that I was completely oblivious to your pain. I'm sorry that I couldn't be like you are to me; the person you need when everything turns to shit around you. I'm sorry that you still blame yourself for their deaths."
Levi peeled my arms from around his shoulders and waist slowly. I lowered my head and waited for a physical or verbal beating about how I shouldn't go snooping around in matters that didn't concern me. How I was trash and he wanted nothing more to do with me. I told myself I could handle whatever he threw at me so long as he knew how I felt. But nothing could have ever prepared me for what he actually did. Taking my head in his hands, he kissed me like he'd never kissed me before. Sweet and gentle, passionate and forceful all at the same time. It made my head swim. This wasn't him claiming dominance or proving anything; he was simply letting me feel his emotions. Putting my hands on his, I leaned into the kiss more, letting my own emotions pour through. You aren't alone anymore, Levi. I won't let you suffer again.
When the kiss ended, Levi took a step backwards and looked up, "Thank you..." his voice was barely a whisper. I smiled and kissed his cheek one more time,
"Happy birthday, Levi." I told him quietly before turning to go back inside. Levi caught my hand and pulled me back to him, holding me secure against his chest and tilting my chin up with the hand not holding my hand. For the first time, his cool grey eyes that I loved drowning in were closed as he kissed me. I felt myself melt into him once again.
"Wh-what was that for?" I breathed against his lips. He grinned, let me go and walked inside, picking up the firewood as he went. I frowned at his back completely bewildered. Even now, after everything, he still continued to surprise and confuse me. Hands on my hips I faced the snow and sighed feeling a weight that had been burdening me lift off my shoulders and a content happiness rise in its place.
"Merry Christmas." I said to my family, Kitcha and Blair as I gazed up at the grey sky. Something caught my attention just out of my field of vision. Cocking my head and looking straight up I noticed someone had hung a plant with white berries complete with a red bow tied around the stem on one of the beams directly above my head.
Mistletoe.
I smiled to myself. Levi, you romantic.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!