Hey guys! I'm so sorry for taking so long to update. As I'd said before, I was sick of my own crappy writings, to put my problem simple. In two words: writer's block. Or a dilemma. However you want to call it, I'm still trying really hard to overcome my extremely low self-confidence and self-esteem. Again, I apologize sincerely to all the readers. And special big THANK YOU's to everyone who's stuck with me and Misery so far! XD

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TRANSFORMERS. I ONLY OWN THE PLOT AND THE ORIGINAL CHARACTERS OF THIS FANFIC.

The mall wasn't very crowded in the morning. The weather was, regretfully, so ideal for a day out. And May, she was twirling and dancing around, always too happy to be outside. She was so spritely happy, it almost made me dizzy. It was hard to keep up with her.

"Slow down, May, no one's chasing you." I said, trotting to take her hand. She giggled, then laughed.

"You are chasing me."

"Because you keep running away from me. I told you to stay close to me, May. And don't run so much."

"But you're too slow!" she gave me a big smile, "and Mr. Prime's slow too!"

At that, I looked back. Optimus, with an awkward smile on his face, came up to us. He stood out in a quite exquisite way, in the midst of the human environment. I sighed, turning my attention to the child. Really, she was all mature and that, but in situations like this, she was nothing if not a child…

"May, this is a public space. We aren't here just by ourselves. We have to be considerate of other people." Ironic, since I didn't give a damn what the others thought. But she nodded nevertheless, though it was visible that she was having a hard time trying to suppress the giddiness.

"I'm just happy, Fel," she squeezed my hand; she might as well squeezed my heart, "To be out with you. And Mr. Prime."

I knew that he was smiling again, though I didn't look at him. May pulled me again, this time much stronger, saying "Come on!" I had no choice but to be dragged by May, who was lopping to catch Optimus as well.

Ah, yes. I was in the middle of the Tranquility Mall, twenty-six minutes past eleven in the morning, Sunday, with May and my guardian. As to why I am here, and what I am doing here…

It had all been on an impulse.

No, correct that. May be not. May be. I don't know. But one thing is sure: I'm never, ever going to act on pure impulse. Ever again. It's because of the stupid impulse that I had landed in this uncomfortable situation. Damn, damn, damn.

It was a Saturday afternoon, the weather as bad as it could be. The sky was sort of rotten mushroom-colored, and I was idly mulling whether I should hang the laundry out or not. Then I realized that as I was thinking, I had been washing the same dish for the fifth time. I sighed and put it down. I hadn't been myself lately; ever since the trip to the beach, to be exact. To be more exact, since I'd talked with Optimus at the beach. When I'd shown him my scars. His reaction. The black-and-white moonlight, lifeless sand, lifeless water, lifeless me, and only him in colors. How vibrant and radiant he had shone, he seemed so far away from me, as if we were in different dimensions. I was a shadow compared to him. The mere thought of it was enough to awake my buried-in shame, low self-esteem. I didn't like to admit it. I didn't even want to think about it, so I pushed the thought away, and stopped comparing myself to him. Whatever.

"Do you need help with anything?" the voice was gentle alright, but it was enough to snap me out of my thoughts and startle me. I managed not to let out a sound and save my nowadays-wavering dignity, but dropped the dish I'd been washing. It made a racket as it smashed into pieces on the floor. Immediately bending down to pick the pieces up to avoid further damage-and hide my unwillingly flushing face- I wanted to curse his excellent ability to appear with so much stealth… or was I just too lost in my thoughts?

"I'm sorry," Optimus apologized almost as quickly as I had bent down, and he reached to pick up the pieces as well, "I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's okay," I said, as nonchalant as possible. Suddenly, I wanted to be angry at him for always trying to help- which was ironic and would sound very ungrateful. He was doing his job already by just simply staying with me, thank you, but that was good enough for me. Sure, it was in his nature to always be willing to help and serve… but why it got so much on my nerves I had no idea. "Leave it. I'll clean the mess."

"Let me help you." he picked up the pieces, quick and efficient, and deposited them into the rubbish bin. Cleaning up was over as quickly as the mess had occurred. I sighed lightly as I wiped my wet hands on the tea towel.

"Look…" he turned to me as I spoke, "You're my guardian. I accept that. And thanks a lot for all the protection and stuff." He opened his mouth to say something at that, but I lifted a hand. I wasn't done yet.

"But you're not my maid. Your job is to protect me. That's all I ask-or rather, want to receive- from you. I can do the chores myself." I also wanted to comment on him sometimes acting like a counselor, trying to get me talking and open myself to people, but decided against it. Optimus was already looking at me with an undecipherable stare. I felt strangely guilty again.

"I'm not quite sure I understand," he said slowly, "but I thought that my job as your guardian was to protect you and look after you. Your uncle and aunt had asked me to do so, and I agree with them. A guardian does not simply guard his protégé; he takes care of her."

"Well, for your information, I'm not a child. I don't need help in… in… just cleaning up my mess." The guilt was weighing down on my voice, forcing it to tune down. He kept his straight face with an amazing ability, but I could see that he was hurt, and it didn't help me with my guilt. Damn it. Just damn, damn, damn, damn, damn. I was sure I wasn't doing anything wrong, but why was I feeling this way? I couldn't understand, and it frustrated me.

"I am sorry if I had made you feel so. I didn't intend it." he apologized again, and all of a sudden, I realized why I was feeling so. Despite all the hardships and problems he had encountered, his heart and soul was still as pure and clean as they were in the beginning, though it may be scarred from the hurts of the past. Goodness was his nature. It conflicted so hard with jagged edges of my heart and my soul, that even the minor hostility from me hurt him. Like how I would be hurt if May had acted as coldly as I just did, to me. He only meant good. I understood it in my head, but couldn't exactly appreciate it in my heart. He was the supreme commander of all the Autobots, and a fierce warrior, yet a few people would know that he was as vulnerable to hurts as humans could so easily be squashed by hostile alien robots.

At his apology, something broke inside of me.

"You know what? Just… don't apologize. Don't try to help me. Actually, it would be much better if you just didn't talked to me, or tried to communicate with me." I had started out quietly, but it became a noisy and confused rant. I mustered all the courage to look into his eyes, and if he were anymore fragile, I would have seen hurtful look in his eyes. But he was not a human, nor any other thing close to it, and he admirably remained expressionless. Instantly, the guilt hit me, a hard mental slap to my face.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out. For the first time in a long period, I was completely not myself, "I don't know why I'd said that- I- I meant, that I am grateful for all you're doing for me- and May- but I just don't want you to exert yourself too much, it's too much of a pressure and I don't feel too good about it as well-" Nice going, stupid. Another mental kick.

"No need to apologize, Misery. I understand." Do you? I bit my lower lip silently in guilt. Things are going just great, "But I wish you would rather let me be helpful to you. It's not only because it is a part of my job, but also because I want to. Hopefully with time, you'll understand me. As I had said before, I would never do anything to harm you or hurt your feelings. I only wish to protect you."

"I know," I muttered lamely, looking down. I was just too imperfect. In the end, I wasn't angry at him, but at myself; my immature, silly, lingering-in-past self. Breaking the armor was harder then death itself.

He nodded at my answer, and began to scan the kitchen for any shards that had gone unnoticed. Though he seemed undisturbed, I was sure I had hurt him. I wanted to make it up to him; that was the least I could do.

"Hey," the rest was all automatic, "I'm taking May out to the mall tomorrow. Want to come with us?" He blinked. My face was instantly burning like hell; I turned around, determined not to let him see it. God, what was wrong with me?

"To the mall? With you and your sister?" he asked incredulously. My back to him, I nodded slightly. Words, once said, could not be picked up again; I felt stupid, really stupid.

"You don't have to, if you don't want to," I said, "after all, it's just a simply sister-outing. And I think you should take a break from, you know, all the protecting and bodyguard-stuff."

"Break?" he carefully placed a hand on my shoulder. I tried not to jump, "Misery, as I'd just said it, it is my sole duty to protect you. And as a soldier, I shall do so without failure. You need not worry."

"I'm not worrying," I said. Damn, it was just too hard to argue with this… this man! "It's just that… it's just that…"

I failed at defining what 'that' was, so I just carried on after a breath. "Don't worry. It's just that I didn't want to be rude-"

"If it is fine with you and your sister," he interrupted my meaningless speech gently, so softly that I was almost thankful, "I would indeed like to accompany you."

I actually gulped. Then, still not looking back, I nodded. "Okay."

And that was what had brought me, May, and the great leader Optimus Prime to the Tranquility Mall. At the noise of the big department store, I sighed, inwardly.

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