The Joker parked outside the bank and walked inside, wondering what exactly Ted had in store for him. The bank was still standing, but the fire had nearly destroyed it. The only light in the entire building was the moonlight showing through huge glass windows.
It didn't take him very long to find Harleen. She appeared to be unconscious, strapped to a chair and gagged. Her eyes fluttered open as he entered, and he enjoyed watching them fill with fear as she tried and failed to free herself. He resisted the urge to laugh at her as she turned her eyes on him, silently begging him for help, or mercy.
"Welcome Joker. I was afraid those two buffoons wouldn't get the message along," said a voice from the shadows. Dr. Hillenburg walked into the light and Joker smiled his most brilliant smile at him.
"Doc, you threw me a party! And you even invited my ex, how thoughtful of you. Personally I would have blown up some balloons or hired a stripper, but this is good too."
"Shut up, clown. Tonight is my night, and I will make you pay for what you did to my wife," said Ted darkly.
"Sounds like my kind of party. What have you got in mind, may I ask? Are you going to beat me to a pulp? Or maybe you're going to skip the beating and just shoot me. I'm fine with either one, but a little originality would be nice."
The doctor smiled grimly. "I'm going to kill the only thing that ever mattered to you. Now, I know she doesn't mean much to you anymore, but I know without a doubt that she does have some meaning to you. Before you try to do anything, you should know that I have planted a bomb in here. If you try to save her or if you try to escape I will blow us all up. I'm going to kill her and then you, her death will be the last thing you ever see," said Ted as he produced a revolver and pointed it at Harleen's head, causing her to whimper.
"I hope you enjoy it," said Joker indifferently as he stared into the man's eyes. "I was going to kill her anyway, at least this way I won't have to clean up the mess."
The man grew angry at Joker's words. "You cannot honestly say that you don't care if she lives or dies."
"You got me. Truth is, I really want her dead." While the Joker wanted to do it himself, as long as she died he would be a happy man.
"What about your own life? Do you not care that you are about to draw your last breath?"
Joker shrugged. "Hey, as long as I got me a replacement I'm good to go."
"Replacement? What replacement?" said the doctor as he pointed the gun at him.
"You, silly," said Joker with a wide grin. "This plan of yours is sadly predictable, uncreative and half-baked, but hey, we all gotta start somewhere. Though you'll never be the villain I was, I think given the opportunity, you would make an excellent villain."
"What are you talking about? You think that killing the two of you makes me a villain? Well you are mistaken!" Ted roared.
"Am I? I know how the human mind works, I know how easily it can be broken, and I think you have the makings of a great criminal. Think about it. You're trying to avenge your little wife by killing an innocent woman and her not-so-innocent ex. Harleen has done you know harm, yet you plan to kill her anyway because you think it's what your dead wife would have wanted. You remind me so much of Mr. Freeze. His whole purpose in life is to find a cure for his wife, but if he were to save her now, do you think she would like what he has become? I'm not just talking about the fact that he's a popsicle now, mind you. Sure he did it to save her, but do you think she would have wanted him to become a super villain just for her? You think that we are the only people you'll ever kill, but you're wrong. Once you taste bloodshed and madness you'll never go back, you won't want to."
"You're wrong. I am stronger than you, I will not allow myself to be driven insane like you," said Ted through gritted teeth, his face red with fury. He aimed the gun back at Harleen, who continued to gaze at Joker helplessly.
"I'd say you're already there, but you can believe whatever you want. Go ahead, kill Harleen, but try not to mess her up to much. She has such a pretty face, and I'd hate to see it ruined by an amateur." The Joker looked away from Ted and stared into Harleen's eyes. He wasn't sure if the doctor could actually do it, but he didn't want to miss it in case it did happen.
As he looked into her desperate, terror-filled eyes, that annoying feeling seemed to explode in his chest. It had never been this bad before, and he felt like he could barely breathe. He felt a powerful, irrational urge to run to her and save her, or at least to be with her when she died. He couldn't wait to see Ted blow her brains out, but at the same time he wanted to hold her in his arms and protect her from harm. It was maddening.
Harleen stared back at him, pleading silently for him to save her. She only looked at him for a moment though, then turned away and closed her eyes, giving up and waiting for the bullet that would end her life. She knew that he wouldn't save her, and she didn't care anymore anyway.
As Ted cocked the gun, Joker suddenly lost all control over himself. He lunged for the doctor and snatched the gun out of his hands and aimed it at his forehead before Ted even had time to think about running or blowing up the building. The Joker doubted there even was a bomb.
Despite being afraid, Ted smiled triumphantly. "I knew it. I knew you cared for her. Then you know what it is like to have the one you love taken from you. Though your feelings for her are nothing compared to what I felt for my wife, at least you know the pain you have forced me to endure."
"You know what this whole situation reminds me of Ted?" asked Joker, his eyes boring into the doctor's. "The time my daddy took me to the circus."
"You said your father died before you were born," said the doctor, his expression changing to one of bewilderment.
"I'll let you be the judge of what's real and what's fake, Doc," said the Joker as he pulled the trigger.
As Ted's body went limp, the Joker went over to Harleen to untie her. As if on cue, the instant he freed her, Batman appeared out of nowhere.
Batman immediately knocked the gun out of Joker's grasp with a batarang. The Joker retaliated by picking up the chair Harleen had been strapped to and threw it at him. Batman barely dodged it and ran over to him and grabbed him and shoved him roughly against the wall. The sensation made Joker laugh, giddy with his own pain.
"I thought I told you to leave her alone," growled Batman.
"You did, but I ignored you. You're not mad at me are you?" giggled the Joker.
"You will never hurt her again. You're going straight back to your padded cell at Arkham."
"You know, I once heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. If that's the case, then who's crazier, me or you?"
The Joker laughed again as he tightened his grip on him. "Run Harleen, get out now," ordered Batman.
Harleen was watching them fight, her eyes wide. She didn't move, she seemed to be in shock.
"Don't go, stay here with us Harleen," giggled Joker. "After all, why should we have all the fun? Didn't your mother ever teach you to share, Batsy?"
"Don't talk to her," warned Batman.
"Why do you care about her so much Bats? You never did answer my question before. Do you feel something for my hench-girl? Does she have a special place in your heart?" the Joker asked him in a deadly whisper. "Is that why you don't want me to kill her, because it would hurt you too much?"
"No, I feel nothing for Harleen other than a duty to keep her safe from monsters like you," snarled Batman. "It's my job to protect her and all of Gotham from you and your kind. You have no right to keep tormenting her this way, if you really cared about her you would stop trying to kill her and stay as far away from her as possible."
"That may be true for you Batso, but in my book, when you see something you want, you take it and run and never look back. You should do the same, Catwoman would probably find it sexy. Or do you prefer Talia al Ghul? My, no wonder you don't have a girlfriend, how could you possibly choose just one of them?" chuckled Joker. "If something ever happened to one of them you'd have the other to fall back on, but all I've ever had is Harley. Can you really blame me for becoming so attached to my little harlequin?"
Without loosening his grip on him, Batman dragged Joker outside to the Batmobile. Just as he was about to shove him inside, a gunshot sounded and Batman collapsed to the ground. Joker looked and was shocked to see Harleen holding the gun, her expression unreadable. She stared at Batman for a long moment, as though trying to decide whether or not she should shoot him again. She then dropped the revolver and fell to her knees, wrapping her arms around her middle as though she were trying to hold herself together.
The Joker crossed over to her and got down on his knees and just watched her, unable to comprehend what was going on with her. Why would she shoot Batman and not him? After all, Batman had tried to save her from him, why would she try to kill him and not the guy who wanted her dead? Whatever the reason for her weird behavior, at least now he could set things right. As he reached for the gun, she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper.
"You were right. You were right about everything."
Without any warning, she threw herself on him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and sobbing on his shoulder. He gently stroked her hair, unsure of why he was doing it other than that it seemed the thing to do. At that moment he didn't know what he wanted anymore and, quite surprisingly, his confusion didn't bother him. He could have killed her then, but the thought didn't even enter his mind. As he held her and comforted her, he felt a kind of warmth that he wasn't familiar with, a peace that was foreign to him. Feelings that, even though he could not understand them, he liked nonetheless. He couldn't remember ever feeling this way before, except for maybe when Harleen had chosen to be with him, in a time that felt like a forgotten dream.
After she had cried herself out, Harleen pulled back and faced him. Her makeup was running down her face in a horrible mess, but it didn't make her any less beautiful to him. "I think I ruined your suit."
"Wouldn't be the first time you've ruined one of my suits, though I'm pretty sure you've never done it with tears before," he said, not caring at all at that moment about the state of his clothes.
"Did you mean what you said back there?" she asked as she gazed deeply into his eyes.
"You never can tell," he said with a wink.
"Would you be willing to have a crazy ex-doctor as your sidekick?" she asked with a small smile.
"Are you kidding me, Harleen? That's my favorite kind of sidekick!" he said as he tickled her stomach.
"Uh-uh, no more of this Harleen stuff," she giggled. "Harley Quinn's back, baby!"