14. Fire and tears

Christmas, alas, was over, and school had begun again. Which, of course, meant a return to lessons, much to Ysabell and the rest of the school's disgust.

Ysabell was currently dozing through a History of Magic lesson, watching the winter sunlight filter through the windows, and listening to Professor Binns droning on and on and on…. Occasionally she caught enough words to jot down a few notes, but most of her parchment was covered with a large doodle of a thestral. Or at least, it was supposed to be a thestral. Ysabell had never been much of an artist.

She was checking her watch for what seemed like the umpteenth time when one of Professor Binn's words penetrated her reverie.

"…burnt at the stake…" She froze, and started listening.

"Of course, the accused who actually were witches merely cast a flame-freezing charm and escaped unharmed…" Like a key, the words unlocked something in Ysabell's memory.

Fire and flames and choking smoke. Cracking and roaring. Burning. A face silhouetted against the flames. Screaming.

One of the girls in the row behind Ysabell prodded her friend out of her stupor and whispered gleefully "Look, she's having a fit again!" She pointed to the desk in front, where Ysabell had buried her head in her hands, and appeared to be shaking.

Her friend spoke back in an undertone. "She's a maniac, that's what. Didn't you hear she was in the mental ward at St Mungos?" They both continued to watch the suffering girl, as everyone else around them began to notice too. Professor Binns, of course, carried on oblivious.

I should have saved them. The fire wouldn't have hurt me. I shouldn't have done it in the first place. Murderer!

Luna couldn't find Ysabell that lunchtime, which was unusual, since they normally ate together. Eventually, an overheard comment led her to the firth floor girls toilets and the sound of sobbing. She somehow doubted that Moaning Myrtle had decided to switch bathrooms.

"Ysabell?" she asked softly, but was met only by silence. She was stood there waiting for several minutes.

Inside the cubicle, Ysabell had made up her mind.

It was their fault, their fault for tormenting me like they did. Those stupid boys! They had it coming to them. How was I supposed to stop it? It's not as though anyone had taught me to control magic! It's not as though anyone knows. They probably just wrote it off as a boiler explosion. They should have just left me alone, then they wouldn't have got hurt. They deserved to burn.

She heard a foot shuffling outside, and recognised the sound of Luna's breathing. She was still waiting, though lessons had probably started by now… Patient, kind, loving Luna…

And me, what am I? What am I turning into?

Ysabell flung herself out of the cubicle and into Luna's arms. "I think I'm going mad!"

Luna tentatively patted her friend's back as Ysabell continued to cry onto her shoulder, words mixed in with the hysterical sobbing.

".. all the teachers hate me! They know I'm mad and evil and useless…"

"I don't think you're useless"

"… everyone hates me! Have you seen the way they look at me!"

"I don't hate you."

"… and they're right to hate me, because of all the stupid, evil things I've done!"

"You're not stupid"

"I'm evil though, aren't I? Look at all the things I've done! Look at me! It's alright for you! You're an angel or something! I ought to be thrown out of the school! I don't deserve to be here!"

Luna closed her eyes and bit her lip, so hard it felt it might bleed. The tirade continued around her.

"I ought to be locked up somewhere! I'm going mad, Luna! I'm an evil, evil, evil, useless…"

"No you not! You're not! Please Ysabell!"

"You shouldn't be wasting your time on me! Go and be friends with Ginny or someone! I'm not worth it!…"

It took Luna almost half an hour to calm Ysabell down. She left her outside the common room before heading to her Transfiguration lesson. It finished just as she got there, and she was met by a stream of students rushing out of the doors. "Ooh, are you late Loony?" one of them called.

Ginny flashed her a brief grin as she passed, before Luna headed in to stand in front of Professor McGonagall's desk.

"Sorry I'm late Professor. I was helping Ysabell calm down."

Professor McGonagall sighed. "Look, that's lovely Miss Lovegood, but Ysabell isn't your problem. You don't have to spend so much time looking after her. Let her sort her problems out herself. Spend some time on yourself for once. Yes?"

Luna shook her head mutely, avoiding the Professor's gaze.

"Ysabell's my friend, Professor."