Heeeeyyyy guys so don't be mad but I'm kinda jumping ahead in time. (Translation; she's skipping Goblet of Fire shenanigans) HEY COME ON! Look I'm not saying it won't be mentioned but I feel our narrative leads down another path. Also this chapter is a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions. So without further ado, exposition!
Robin
There are few memories that I attach such feelings to that do not revolve around professor Snape.
The moment I saw Harry reapperate with Cedric, I knew something was wrong. Someone screamed, Harry was crying. I couldn't leave him! I remember standing, people rushing to the both of them, hushed whispers and then Mr. Diggory clamoring over the corpse of his beloved son. Then Harry was carried away from Cedric. And I stood there.
Ministry officials were forcing people out of the arena, assuring that this was not the work of the dark lord and that Harry was driven delusional with the sight of a dead classmate. I don't remember who but I too was being dragged out of the seats and away from Cedric.
I couldn't stop looking at him, at Mr. Diggory. I stood there, waiting for the crowd to thin out. I stood there. Staring at Cedric's empty eyes that could do nothing but stare back at me. The black hollowness gripping my heart. There was nothing.
The remainder of my fifth year blurred into one of three thoughts; how had Cedric, a boy who seemed outright invincible died, if not from the dark lord? I knew him, talked to him, shared a common room with him and now I would never see or hear him again. All my time and energy went to professor Snape, a man who could never truly love me in return and now a classmate who I actually knew on a somewhat personal level was dead. Murdered. I would never have the chance to tell him…anything. The last thought was that professor Vaustali could have in some way been the cause of his death. Being that she had information about the school, about the students it was possible.
Since her dismissal, just before the second task of the tournament, I found myself drawing further from professor Snape. Despite her presence being the bane of my existence somehow she had forced professor Snape and I to interact more. It didn't bother me that they had been 'together', perhaps a little but really it was more that he maintained contact with her after she had left the school. He didn't give me answers as to why, he didn't have to. I was nothing but a nosey student. A pest who had found out too much.
Now that Cedric was dead and she could have had some involvement I was confused about everything I had been so sure of . My dorm was empty, it always seemed to be since the conclusion of the triwizard tournament. Counsel was being offered to us Hufflpuffs. And so I sat, my eyes out the window but not really seeing the scenery. My mind felt gray and slow, numb to everything but the small vial chained around my neck. When I was feeling sad about anything the smell of his hair brought if only temporarily, happy thoughts.
"How does one become a ghost?" I asked Myrtle the day before summer holiday.
"How should I know?"
"Seeing as you are one I would think my question is valid."
"I don't know, I died, woke up one day as this see threw mess." She tossed a roll of toilet paper at me, which struck my shoulder but I hardly registered it. She'd been doing it all morning.
"I mean did you, want to come back?"
"Not really. Are you hoping that Cedric will come back as a ghost?"
"Maybe."
"Would it make you feel better?"
"I don't know…" I buried my chin into my knees and pulled them closer to my chest.
"If it helps, if he died the way Harry says he did then he didn't feel a thing."
"Did you?"
"No, instant death while painful for our loved ones is the best for us."
"That makes sense." I mumbled now slouching against the wall. I gripped the necklace Myrtle had sent me last Christmas, I never asked how she'd gotten it. Although I feel like my imagination was far more humorous than the actual event itself.
"So, professor traitor is gone but it doesn't make you happy little Robin."
"She could have been the reason Cedric died. I can't imagine why Harry would lie about you know who coming back."
"The ministry has lots of imagination you know."
"Yes…"
"Robin, I don't know much but I do know that I'd take a basilisk over the ministry any day of the week. Stay out of their way. Best keep your head down or it'll get cut off." I sighed and picked myself up from the floor.
"I have to go, I'm supposed to be meeting the grief counselor. I have a long walk." Myrtle gave me a weak smile.
"Stay safe Robin. You're the only girl I can stomach in this school." I smiled and was quickly reminded that she was incapable of getting pats on the shoulder.
Severus
It was not common that at the edge of summer the headmaster summons you to his office with the utmost urgency. When I appeared the headmaster was not alone. A married couple sat across from Dumbledore's desk as he greeted me. The both of them had matching puffy moist eyes looking at me. I stepped in and stood to the woman's left, keeping a fair distance from everyone.
"You wished to see me?"
"Professor Snape." The woman stood and extended her hand. I took it and her husband's same courtesy.
"Allow me to introduce Mr. & Mrs. Ryen." All of the sudden I wanted to sit down but kept my legs locked.
"What can I do for you?"
"You may want to sit down Severus."
"I'm comfortable where I am." Dumbledore stared into me but after a moment relinquished any further argument.
"You recall Lena Ryen?"
"I do."
"It is unfortunate that her talents as a healer of the dark arts have caught the attention of certain radical groups. Since her refusal to align herself the death eaters and thus the dark lord they have been harassing her and her family until she accepts. Her mother and father have requested our assistance in this matter."
"Why not the ministry?"
"They too are involved. Miss Ryen is going into hiding with her parents as the newest order members. Her brother is in Romania studying dragons and so that leaves Robin who is still underage."
Mr. & Mrs. Ryen then turned to me with their tired eyes. On the verge of breaking Mrs. Ryen spoke first. "Please help us."
"I don't understand." More annoyed that they weren't being forthcoming with their request.
"It is our wish." Mrs. Ryen swallowed hard and then composed herself to look at me. "It is our wish that Robin keep whats left of her childhood. Hogwarts is the safest place for her but we know she will want to be with her sister. We want her to finish school and…"
"And?" I rose my brow and turned my attention to Dumbledore.
"The Ryen's understand that Robin has applied for an apprenticeship under you for her seventh year and post Hogwarts career. They are hoping she will be accepted as your apprentice and therefore be able to stay at Hogwarts longer."
"At the moment Miss Ryen has been accepted as my assistant for her sixth year, however the matter of her apprenticeship does not rest with only me. It is a long process which goes through the headmaster and the ministry."
"The ministry has been made aware of her situation and has in advanced granted her the apprenticeship should the professor in question sign off on it." Dumbledore gave me a mischievous grin and slid the parchment over his desk which then floated into my hands.
Her father finally spoke, his voice even weaker than her mother's. "We know how much Robin admires you, and we're hoping that this would help distract her with whats going on with Lena."
"I am not here to distract Mr. Ryen. I am here to teach and put forth the well being of every student."
"Severus please." Dumbledore again offered me a seat which I declined, this conversation was not going to last much longer as far as I was concerned.
"Miss Ryen has an exceptional gift for potions. She is hard working, respectful and has expressed her intense interest in all that you've just described however…I think she has been unfairly excluded from this conversation and I will sign nothing until I speak to her about these matters."
"Well then," Dumbledore said with the same smile as before. "Speak to her."
Robin
My face was almost in my cereal after my session with the grief counselor. It was a group session and those are always the worst. I don't think any of us liked them. But we went through the motions of it all. If one more person offered a shoulder to cry on or an ear I was going to start taking a page out of Myrtle's book and throw things at them. But I couldn't, they were just trying to help. The thing was, with a few exceptions of being alone I couldn't muster any sad feelings to show others I was coping normally.
When I felt sad I just thought about him. No, not Cedric like a normal person, my sour potions professor. Perhaps there was something wrong with me.
I gazed over to the Slytherin table as I often did. I bear love for my house but I was still envious of their dark green and silver. Their house leader and even the reputation of their cleverness. My day dreaming was interrupted by Draco Malfoy throwing a roll at me, which hit me square in the forehead. He laughed at his own joke but it only reminded me of something. I got up and moved to their table sitting just across from him. Normally the confusion on his face would have amused me but I hadn't the time for that.
"Hey can I ask you something?"
"What?" He spat still processing the situation. "Before you ask, even if you are a pureblood I'd never date a Hufflepuff." He snarked and took compliments from his friends at his, wit I suppose.
"Yeah no," As if I'd even consider this insufferable bleach blond brat. He may be Slytherin but let me tell you he could learn a thing or two from professor Snape regarding insults. Most of them came down to 'Potter!' or 'Weasley!' in fact the only effective one I had ever heard was calling Hermonie Granger a mud blood. Which was still a mistake on his part since she cocked him right in the nose for it. "that's not what I was going to ask."
"Well out with it ya stupid badger!"
"Badger? Oh right because I'm Hufflepuff." I rolled my eyes which seemed to equally surprise him as me sitting down in front of him. "Look I know you're a year behind me but are you applying for an apprenticeship?"
"A what?" he laughed but I could tell he didn't take my meaning to the word.
"Are you wanting to study under professor Snape?"
"Why would I do that?"
"I'm being serious. I need to know if I have any competition."
"What if I am?" He folded his arms and puffed a stray hair out of his face. "What are you going to do about it?"
Admittedly my next course of action was not, entirely rational. I gripped Malfoy by the collar and dragged him down to the table where I pressed my hand on the other side of his head. The motion caused his almost empty plate to fall off the table, shatter and cause everyone in the room to look at me. I lowered myself down to him.
"Listen here you pompous albino! I need to know if you're applying to appetence under professor Severus Snape and I need to know now! I know you're the only one other than me who would consider it, and I know people like you cheat so tell me-"
"Miss Ryen." That voice could command anything out of me and so I released Malfoy and turned to my revered professor and did my best not show the sudden joy surging through me. I knew he wouldn't be pleased with me shoving his prized pig into the table so I did my best to contain myself. I had been avoiding him for days but now I was so elated to be near him I couldn't careless about anyone else in the room.
There would be whispers undoubtly but I couldn't concern myself with that sort of thing anymore. If my devotion leaked out for everyone to see so be it, I would be a sixth year soon and it wouldn't matter after my seventh year. They could make fun of me all they like, spread rumors and taunt me, I didn't care. I'd be with him.
"You'll hear about this! You- you stupid Hufflepuff!" He struggled but Malfoy stood up and hurried out of the great hall.
"THAT THE BEST YOU GOT!? I've heard better comebacks from shrunken heads!"
"Miss Ryen…" Ever calm and still his voice again demanded I pay attention. "Aside from the weeks of detention you'll earn for assaulting another student once term resumes I need a private word…now." His glare turned to the rest of the hall and soon the giggles and in some cases all out laughter were silenced. "Please continue laughing as bystanders will also receive detention…"
Once inside his office, professor Snape broke his composure and threw me into a lounge chair near his desk. It smelt divine.
"Are you insane? Do you enjoy pushing me to the edge?!"
"I'm quite possibly insane, I mean have you heard me talk at all?"
"Silence!" I obeyed. Professor Snape clenched his fists turned back to me with a hand on either arm rest leaning into me. I found myself pushing as far back into the chair as I could, we've never been this close before, what was he doing? "Is this what you want?"
"What?" I opened and closed my mouth like a fish, mentally connecting the dots he'd just given me.
"You want me this close?"
"Professor I…"
"You're almost a woman now…" His hand came up to my cheek and tilted my chin up. "Will this make you happy?" With the better part of my jaw in his grasp he held it tight and pressed his lips on mine.
"Robin…?" I heard nothing, only felt the utter softness of his lips. "ROBIN!" the chair I sat in was kicked and professor Snape was on the other side of the room staring strangely at me. My head was out in open space, tilted to the side with my lips puckered in anticipation. "What are you doing?" His voice crossed with confusion and concern. I bit my lower lip and slouched back into the chair.
"Ahem…um what were you saying?"
"I was questioning your sanity but considering…" he winced until he found the words "the recent assault on Draco Malfoy and the very recent…air molestation, I see that is long overdue." I frowned and crossed my arms.
"Is this about my sister?"
"About your apprenticeship actually. And don't take that tone with me."
"Yes sir, sorry sir" I straightened up and mentally berated myself for getting too relaxed not to mention the random singular fantasy I'd just had in front of him.
"Dumbledore and your parents do want me to take you on as one however, I wanted to discuss it with you first."
"Yes sir." Please don't say no, please take me on, I can be serious. I will be dedicated the craft. I just want to be near you, for as long as I can.
"Do you still want it?"
"Yes sir." I said sharply and promptly. I didn't want him to think I had second thoughts.
"I'll make it so if you answer me honestly, do you truly want to study potions or are you seeking protection from the dark forces that are now hunting your family?" I was taken aback, he wasn't concerned about my never ending love for him? And how the two of us spending long hours into the night alone would effect that?
"That's all you want to know? You don't think I'm doing this to stay close to you?"
"I'm well aware that is in your line up of motives but lets start with these two first."
"The dark forces concern me, but only for my sister. She's brilliant and I can see why they want her. But I'm not worried about them for my personal safety. And yes I do love potions, beyond my love for you. Maybe it wasn't so at first but I do see its true value and I'm glad I have taken to it."
"Very well. There are two things I want you to understand before I sign this parchment."
"But you will sign it?!" I said leaping out of the chair which only earned me a glare and another command of silence.
"Sit. The first is that there is nothing Dumbledore or your parents could say to make you my apprentice. Had you been a mediocre student with a poor attitude I would have ripped this agreement before their eyes. As it is, you have a great aptitude for the subject and with each growing year I swear your classmates regress in their intelligence. Therefore I will need someone to curve my contempt for them."
"Kay…" was all I blurted out, he rolled his eyes and continued.
"The second is that the dark forces will begin targeting you and soon. They know your sister has incredible skill and it is no secret to them that you are not far behind with potions. The coming months are uncertain to me but if you stay close you may just learn a thing or two about survival."
"He's back isn't he? You're saying that…you'll protect me if it comes down to it?"
"No. I'm saying that if it comes down to it, the dark lord will have little interest in harming my assistant, my shadow."
"You're his servant aren't you?" There was a heavy silence between us. After a moment he leaned down towards his desk and signed the contract, extending the quill to me.
"No, I'm a spy. And if you don't sign this I'll oblivate you and tell Dumbledore you're not my problem." Before I could think twice my name was on the parchment in red ink, as was professor Snape's.
Phew! Really hoping this is well received and some specific feedback would be nice! It can be my Christmas present! Or something!
"Theres nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their 'discomfort' like a favorite shirt. I can't say I'm very pleased with where my life is just now, but I can't help but look forward to where its going." -JTHM