A/N: HAPPY 2019 EVERYONE! Hope you had a great New Year's Eve! Thank you all so much for your reviews. I'm happy you are all enjoying the story and I like the feedback. I feel like I do have to clear up a few things, without giving much away. I am a big fan of jealous, possessive Christian and I would not want to change that too much. Also, Ana knows exactly what she wants. Just keep that in mind for now ;) There will be NO cheating in this story. Ana and Christian belong together, I would never change that. And this is a HEA. As for the rest, well, you just have to keep reading. Hihi. Enjoy! Xx

Chapter 14: Realization.

We walk out the lunchroom and to Christians car. He is still holding my hand, and I'm trying really hard to ignore the butterflies in my belly. When we walk around the corner I see an Audi R8. I love that car! Is it his?

He smirks when he sees my face. Then he makes a show of getting the keys and pressing the button to open the car. Cocky basstard.

"Nice wheels." I say to him while he opens the door for me. "Way better than the one we were in last time."

He smiles at me and helps me get in. Then he walks around the car and takes his seat behind the wheel.

"Thanks. I love this car. Although the other car had its advantages." He says while raising his eyebrow.

I blush, knowing exactly what he means. That backseat was very comfy. Don't blush, Ana. Trying to get on a different subject, I ask: "Who was driving that night anyway? I never even saw anyone."

"My CPO Taylor. He goes everywhere I go. Can't believe you missed him. You must have been very distracted." He says while driving away.

I can't help but giggle.

"You don't want to know how many times I have heard that giggle in my head the last couple of weeks. It's so good to hear it for real again." He says.

I look at him. "Jesus Grey, you do know how to charm a girl. And that for a man who does dirty things to woman in sexclubs."

He laughs and grabs my hand, giving it a soft kiss. "I don't just to go to a club to do dirty things Ana, you'd be surprised if you knew what I can do in my bedroom."

Oh God. I don't think my face could get any redder.

"I like making you blush. He comments. "Not just your cheeks, but all of you."

I smack his shoulder. "Will you stop it! I hate it when I blush." I laugh.

"But you like it when I talk to you like that. I can see you're clenching your thighs together. And your breathing just got a little quicker." He says while moving his thump over my knuckles.

"Maybe I just have to pee very badly." I say. Right after I say it I want to punch myself in the face. That made no sense at all. I really should stop with speaking without thinking.

Christian just laughs and shakes his head. "You are something, Miss Steele. No filter at all. I like that."

I smile and change the subject to the car again. "How fast can you go?" I ask him. I love to drive. My dad thinks I'm a maniac, but I don't agree. I'm a very good driver, if I may say so myself.

"About 200. One time hit the 206. With Elliot. He actually filmed it." He smiles thinking about the memory. "You like to drive?"

"I love to drive. The girls and me actually made a plan to go road tripping this summer. But now with Lauren pregnant, I don't think it is going to happen anytime soon." I tell him.

"Lauren's pregnant? Wait, isn't she the one who gets married?" He asks looking confused.

"Um.. yeah. Why are you so confused? You think she stayed a virgin until her wedding?"

He laughs. "No, I just thought, with the Bachelorette party and everything, you just all looked drunk."

"Oh, well Lau wasn't. She texted me this morning. A selfie of her and Mike, her fiancé. They were walking the dog. At 8. In the morning." I frown. Maybe I should stay away from alcohol too.

"Sounds very civil." He says.

"I know right. Lau is really the most serious one out of the four of us. She is with Mike since she was 15. I always had a feeling she would be the first to settle down. She is the kind of girl that dreamed about her wedding since she was four years old and already knows how to name her firstborn." I smile while thinking about it. In a few months she is really going to have all that.

"And you? Are you that kind of girl?" He asks me. He looks at me for a moment, then his eyes are on the road again.

I think about it. Am I? I have thought about my wedding, yes. But not in details like Lauren did when she was young. She had her dress, the location and the flowers picked out before Mike got on one knee.

"I have thought about getting married. But not really about the day itself. More that I think it would be amazing to meet someone and then realize that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. That must be magical. Children I have not thought about. The thought of my daughter being just like me, scares the shit out of me." I laugh.

He smiles a sweet smile. Just when I want to ask him the same question, he stops the car. I look out the window and see we have arrived at my building.

Okay Ana. Here we go.

We are standing in my apartment and it feels weird. It is weird to have him here. I mean, I'm very proud of my home. I worked hard for it and got it all by myself. But his place is line four times this size, and then I'm just talking about his living room.

"Do you want a drink?" I ask him while walking to my kitchen. I see him look around before following me.

"Yes please. You place is very nice. It suits you." He smiles. "It's cozy."

I smile back and open the fridge. I grab an opened bottle of Chardonnay and hold it up to him in question. He nods his head and then looks around again. I grab two glasses and then walk to the couch. He takes a seat next to me.

I open the bottle, fill the glasses and give one to him.

"Cheers." He says while holding up his glass. I clink mine with his and take a sip.

"So Ana, ask away. I promise I'll give you honest answers." He says while leaning back, getting comfortable.

I take another sip of my wine and take a breath. There are so many things I want to know. I decide to continue with the conversation we were having before we left the cafe.

"I liked it to. What we did that night. And that morning too. To be honest I was a bit overwhelmed when I walked out of the bedroom. I have had sexual encounters, but never like that. That raw, passionate, almost aggressive lust, it was a first for me. That's probably the reason I just left when you suddenly shut down on me. I was disappointed. And when you didn't walk me out or said goodbye, I felt used." I say.

He takes my hand in his. "I'm sorry Ana. The last thing I wanted was to make you feel used."

"Are you into really freaky shit? Like playing with fire and pee and stuff?" Now that we are alone I just have to ask.

He laughs. "You are something, Ana. I love that you tell me what is going on in that head of yours." He chuckles again while taking a sip of his wine. "No, I don't like that stuff. I like to watch and I like being watched. I like to have control over women, but only if she'll trusts me enough to let me. I like to use restrains, handcuffs, blindfolds, toys. When we are playing, I want the women I'm with to do as I say. If she doesn't, I punish her. If she does, she'll be rewarded. I have a playroom at home. It has all sort of instruments and equipment that can be used in a scene. Does that count as really freaky?"

I don't know. Does it? I mean, it's not really normal is it? God, I'm so out of my element here. But I'm also a little bit turned on, and that concerns me.

"Well..It most definitely is unique." I settle on and grab my glass.

"Yes, I guess you could say that." He says.

"Is this why you asked me to lunch so you could explain? Because you want to do those things with me?" I ask. Better just get the million dollar question out there now.

"If you are willing." He says looking at me. His expression is careful, with a hint of lust. And something else, nervousness maybe? I can't put my finger on it.

"I don't really have experience with all those things. I mean, I've done some experimenting with things. But nothing to out of the box." I tell him honestly. The most extreme thing was José putting a finger in my butt. He hadn't asked beforehand and I nearly made him infertile when he did it. Never let anyone do it again, but I think it is best not to tell him that. That is probably something very basic for him.

I see him thinking for a moment. Then he speaks. "That's not a no, Ana." I see his eyes turn darker. "Of course we would ease into it. I wouldn't push you into hardcore shit right away. And it's not just that I want, I told you that."

"There is more?" My eyes turn big. How much more could there be? My head is in overload as it is already.

"Yes there's more. Ana, If you would be willing to do this with me, I don't want you as my submissive or sex slave. I would want all of you. I want to get to know you. I want to date you, woo you even."

Jesus. Talking about a gentleman in the streets and a beast between the sheets. The girls would never believe me if I told them this.

"Hearts and flowers vs. Handcuffs and dildos." I murmur more to myself then to him.

He snorts and I look up. "What? Am I wrong?" I ask him.

"No, I guess that's what I mean. It's just, you really just say what you think don't you? I'm not used to that. Don't get me wrong, I like it. It takes me by surprise sometimes, that's all." He says looking at me in awe.

I look back at him. What am I supposed to say to that. I've never had a problem with telling people how I feel. I look at my watch and see it's already 4:30. Time flies when you're.. well.. talking about freaky, sexy stuff.

I take the last sip out of my glass and straighten my back. "What do you expect from me right now?" I ask him, because I really have no idea what to say to everything.

"I want you to think about it. If you are open to try that with me." He says. "I can't have one without the other, Ana. I need both. I know it's a lot. Just think about it. And then get back to me when you know what you want. You can always ask me more if you have other questions." He stands and takes my hand to pull me from the couch.

Wait, is he leaving? Am I okay with that? One part of my mind wants to drag him to my bedroom. The other part wants to let him leave. This is so confusing. I know he should go home. I need to think about all of this first. Be responsible, Ana.

"Maybe you should give me your number. So I can text you." I tell him while walking him to the door.

"Sure. Can I have your phone?" He asks while holding out his hand. I unlock it and then give it to him. After a few seconds he gives it back. "Under Christian. With a C." He winks at me.

I smile. He has humor.

He puts on his coat and then turns to me.

"Thank you for listening to me, Ana. I trust you to not tell the whole world about this. And please think about it." He says.

"I will." I tell him with a nod.

We are staring at each other for what feels like hours. How do you say goodbye after a conversation like that?

Then he puts his hand in my neck and pulls me to him. Before I can say anything, I feel his lips on mine. He gives me a sweet kiss, no tongue. Just our lips touching. Then he pulls back and leans his forehead against mine.

"Bye Ana." He whispers while pecking my lips one last time before he lets me go.

"Bye." I wave and wait until he is out of my sight. I close the door and lean against it. My brain is in overdrive. Of all the things I was expecting him to tell me, this was not on the list. I've heard about that lifestyle and about that sort of clubs, but never in a million years thought it would hold my interest. And then I meet him and suddenly I'm talking about it and even asking questions like I'm writing a school assessment on the subject.

And then the worst part. Looking and talking to him these few hours and now thinking about him, is giving me a feeling I've never felt before. A spark that I didn't knew existed until I met him. A desire so great, it can't be tamed. And a feeling of ease so strong, it makes me feel safe around him. Like I can tell him what is on my mind, that I know he won't judge me. That he'll might even protect me.

And that feeling has actually got me considering to do this with him.

A/N: Next stop: Greece.