After a week or so of dragging along in their slowed-down reference frame, Simon finally gets to the message that CosmicKitten89 left him.
Simon: Here's a letter from CosmicKitten89. It's a… private message… and it says:
Dear Simon,
I, like you, am an extremely busy person, and I feel that it is in both of our best interest that we both quit the show. However, there are plenty of fans with questions that need to be answered, so I shall bequeath that responsibility to Seymour, who is a worthy successor.
Your smartest, craziest, most pure-hearted yet twisted-minded and all-around biggest fan,
CosmicKitten89 3
Simon: Seymour… wait, not THAT Seymour…
(Seymour and Joelle enter the room)
Joelle: Guess who's back, and you can't stop this time!
Simon: But-but that's impossible! How did you get around my dark-energy trans-dimensional reversal field generator?
Seymour: You, like many of your viewers, are fools! Our intelligence our ranks both yours and Jeanette's!
Joelle: Yes, and this time we'll make sure that none of you will bother us again.
Jeanette: We never bothered you!
Alvin: Yeah, you are always bothering us!
Theodore is crying; Eleanor is comforting him.
Brittany: You-you…
Simon: So what exactly did your superior intelligence come up with this time?
Seymour: Well, for you, Simon, we have a special surprise; for all those who have waited patiently, I'm going to turn you into a vampire, like so many fans want to see!
Simon: B-but my fans don't want that to happen for real… I-I don't really want-aahh-
(Seymour comes closer to his neck, and Joelle forces Jeanette to watch as Seymour bites Simon and begins to drink his blood.)
Simon: Please… I-I-uh…
(Once Simon falls unconscious, Seymour lets him drop to the floor.)
Seymour: Get up, my newest slave.
Simon pushes himself up, steadily, as he waits for the blood to pump back to his brain.
Simon: I feel splendid, master. And to think that I didn't really want this…
Joelle: One down, 5 to go. Simon, I will let you choose what we should do to Jeanette, do you want to bite her, or should I freeze her or turn her into a statue?
Jeanette: SIMON! You love me too much to do any of that, don't you? Our love will conquer their dark powers!
Joelle: That won't work! You can't escape, and Simon is completely under our control, right Simon?
Simon: I obey only the Darkmunks.
Joelle: But this will do to keep you here. (She activates her hypnosis powers on Jeanette, making her fall into a trance.) Now Simon what should we do with her?
Simon: I want to bite her and make her my vampire lover.
Alvin: You Darkmunks are not turning anybody into a vampire!
Simon: Alvin, I already AM a vampire.
Alvin: Well, in that case, you are not turning anybody else into a vampire!
Alvin charges at Joelle, aiming to punch her in the breasts.
Joelle: You move to slow. (She dodges, and Charlene enters the room) Ah! Charlene! You're just in time! I know exactly what to do with Alvin. (She activates her hypnosis powers on Alvin, he falls into a trance.) Now Alvin, you will completely forget about Brittany, and the love for Brittany that you have is now love for Charlene, you are madly in love with her and have no memories of Brittany at all. (She snaps her fingers to wake him up)
Brittany: Do not listen to them! You love ME! You don't want Charlene; she is too old; she's my mama!
Alvin: She's one FOXY mama!
Brittany: No, I am your foxy mama!
Alvin: Who the heck are you?
Brittany: AUUUGH! I could just TEAR YOUR HAIR OUT!
Charlene: Thanks Joelle! Now Alvie, are you ready to go on our date after the show?
Alvin: I-would-love-to. You-are-my-sweetie.
(Imagine Alvin talking like the munks in the Alvin Show)
Charlene: You're so sweet, who is that chipette over there? (points at Brittany)
Alvin: I-don't-know. Another-crazy-fangirl, I-guess.
Charlene: Come on and show me you love backstage.
Alvin: Yes. Let's-go-backstage-so-the-kiddies-don't-see.
(Alvin and Charlene go backstage)
Joelle: How does it feel to see the man that you love doesn't even know who you are?
Brittany: Grrr, you are going to need plastic surgery after I am done with you!
(Runs toward Joelle, with the intention of kicking here where Alvin was going to punch her)
Joelle: Now, now, we can't let you do that. (She touches Brittany's shoulder and begins to suck away her heat, freezing her solid.)
Brittany: Alvin – will – defrost me…
Joelle: It won't work. And now you will be a frozen statue forever. You'll definitely make a nice statue.
Seymour: Wait, she likes pink a lot, why don't we turn her into an amethyst statue?
Joelle: Great idea! She'll make a beautiful statue!
Brittany: But amethyst is purple! If you're going to make me a statue, make it rose quartz!
Joelle: I'm going to enjoy this! (She pulls out a ray that can turn anything she wants into any kind of crystal she wants, she sets it to amethyst and shoots Brittany with it, she begins to turn into amethyst)
Brittany: Or pink zircon, or tourmaline, or better yet, how about FLESH AND BLOOD!
Joelle: Well, she won't be bothering us anymore. (Watches Brittany turn completely into a statue) Eloise! Please take care of Eleanor and Theodore again.
(Eloise runs in)
Eloise: Okay! (She makes both of them eat a seed which then turns both of them into trees.)
Seymour: Now, what to do with Jeanette...
Joelle: Don't worry, she can't get out of that trance so in the meantime, lets answer some questions!
First is from someone called, Knight of Renaissance Light
Simon, Jeanette, before I begin my questions, I have to give you a warning. I saw the review that Lord Odotherex made on your show in my name. However, the thing is I DIDN'T tell Odotherex to do so, and he has no debt to pay back. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was up to something. Now I know you said that this is like the failed Darkmunks invasion. Well, trust me, this may be much different. Because Odotherex has an edge that the Darkmunks didn't: he was the former Antichrist. Don't believe me? It's in my fanficks, and they all agree that Lord Odotherex is like his father: devious, resourceful, the ability to plan operations ahead of time, and not to mention: power-hungry. I should know, because I fought and defeated him many times already, and he has escaped my grasp every time. I know you both don't have a literal interpretation of God and his enemies. I don't ask you to share my belief, only my fear for your world. Do not underestimate him. He is that clever and twice and dangerous.
Now that I gave my warning, my question is for Jeanette. In Chapter 4, you mentioned Miss Miller passing away. I truly grieve for your loss. Many times I have seen family members of the soldiers who fought for my country. Astrolasia, I mean, which can find in my fanfic. Anyway, I seem to have the ability to feel their emotion of their families' deaths, just as I felt YOUR emotion when you talked about Miss Miller's. I wish you didn't have to answer this, but I have to know. How EXACTLY did your mother...well, you know? Because though the event is emotionally heartbreaking, it's still a rare one nonetheless. Whether you answer this question or not, it won't matter. Know that I, along with the other fans watching, truly lament in your grief. Thank you.
Joelle: Whoever you are, you do not know how we are. The Darkmunks are the darkest part of this entire Multiverse! All Evil is from our world. Once we corrupt and destroy the original chipmunks and enslave all chipmunks we will teach you the meaning of fear, grief and despair! And if you knew about suffering, then you would have known my pain that I went through when Seymour was killed and I watched the entire thing! I haven't been able to sleep since then!
Seymour: It was such a sad time, also to let each of you know, I am technically the same person, Seymour, but my mind was merely created from the darkest part of the original Seymour's personaility...
Joelle: Let's not discuss it now, we have other questions to answer.
This one is from Susan,
Simon and Jeanette: How did you become so smart?
That's it
Seymour: Well, I gain my smarts from the original Seymour, along with some of his memories but I don't have everything from his personality, some of it is just me. His smarts came from reading books and various sources. Some of it was just a part of him; I personally think that he was born with super smarts.
Joelle: My smarts came from that I would love to read books a lot. I learned quite a bit from it and some other things I learned from hanging out with Simon as well. Simon, answer the question!
Simon: I answered that question already!
Seymour: This one should be interesting:
For those who don't know me, my name's Ecthros. I am somewhat the "top minion" of my master, Lord Odotherex, when I really don't want to be. He told me not to get on here on ANY circumstances, so if he found out about this, I'd be dead faster than you can say "Bob's your uncle and Fanny's your aunt." Anyway, I saw what the Knight wrote on here, and I became curious about this topic. So forgive me asking this too, but how DID she die? I mean, was it in her sleep or was it an accident. Also, if you wouldn't mind giving the date of death? Well, just because I work for evil, it doesn't mean I'M evil. I have feelings too; I just don't show them in front of Odotherex. I would have even cried, but my tear ducts aren't exactly what they used to be. But I am sad nonetheless.
Also, for Simon. The Knight's right. You CANNOT undermine Odotherex. I mean, he seeks power at all costs; he views you guys as "ants"; he kills numerous souls with no self control; he envies you mortals for your friendships and ability to support each other; he has spies and others to do his dirty work for him; he feels anger towards any opposition; he even shows complete disregard and manipulation of human beings. I've even seen his forces. They're practically the size of the combined forces of the Nazis, the former Soviets, and the Communist Chinese. And I'd suggest keeping an eye on Jeanette and her sisters. I have a feeling that...Oops, sorry to cut it short, but I gotta leave. Chase Young said that there's a minute in five minutes. Just keep in mind what I said.
Joelle: Who was that from?
Seymour: Apparently someone called Ecthros
Joelle: Once again, You cannot underestimate us. Humans are pathetic! In our world we've enslaved all those pathetic mortals! Your master 'seeks' power, ours IS power! The 6 of us defeated all of Europe, America, Asia and the Muslims all at once! So your 'master' cannot compare to the utter destruction we can cause! I myself have killed people just for fun, and to watch the mortals squirm!
Seymour: I do love their blood! Don't you Simon? Why don't you have some of Jeanette's blood?
Joelle: Good idea. Simon, go and enjoy her blood. (Snaps her fingers to awaken Jeanette from her trance)
Jeanette: What – I'm not in a trance anymore! Simon, are still a vampire?
Simon: Yup, and you're still tasty!
Jeanette: Simon, please… Don't make me a vampire too! You-you won't have my sweet blood anymore! Can't you just draw some with a syringe?
Seymour: Here's one from a Kaylie...
What were y'all's opinions on your counterparts?
And another note from her...
When i said 'Were' i meant when you first saw them.
Joelle: Well, my good counterpart is kind of sad, considering that I used to be like that. She's too absent minded and easy to control. My first hypnotic victim, Jeanette Prime, if you all know what I mean. On Simon, he's cute, but too good for me. I can't stand how he feels so much like he wants to get rid of me. With some hypnotic commands he might make a good servant.
Seymour though is excellent! His mind is perfect for mine, when I first saw him, was when I was Jeanette, I was so glad to see that he wasn't evil and a maniac like Melvin or blindly loyal like Theao. I knew he was perfect for me.
When I saw that he was resurrected, I didn't believe it was truly him, and I was partly right, but if you want to know the whole story, you'll have to wait, until the story Dark Origins gets to that point.
Seymour: Well my good counterpart is a nice slave, but he can be too much trouble. I might have to kill him if he keeps up like that.
Jeanette, she's probably only good as a mindless slave or maybe put a loyal servant of mine in her body... Naturally I am somewhat attracted to her, but I personally like Joelle better.
I don't know how I felt when I first met Joelle when she was Jeanette because I don't have all my memories, but when I came back I felt for the first time a strong emotion, Love. Just like my old self I loved Joelle a lot and was sad when she didn't believe or trust me at first, But I eventually proved myself to her and I would never hurt her, and also a quick warning to anyone else out there: You mess with Joelle and you'll mess with me!
Joelle: I can take care of myself Seymour.
Seymour: I know, but I want to be sure that I will always be there if you need me. So I can show you how much I love you, like this.
(Seymour and Joelle kiss passionately)
Joelle: I guess I can live with it, just because it's you, Seymour. Anyway, Simon come and answer this question quickly.
Simon: I told you, I had them all answered already!
Joelle: Good, now finish her off soon, we have other things to do.
Simon: With pleasure.
Seymour: Anyway, here is the next question from Kaylie again... She posts quite a bit on here...
1: Ravioli
2: manocotti
3: Spaghettti and meatballs
In an italian mood
Joelle: Sorry, but this isn't a cooking show. Plus Theodore and Eleanor are trees. (points at the two trees that used to be chipmunks) and Eloise can't cook, sorry.
Seymour: She keeps on posting... wow...
Alvin, why are you so annoying?
Joelle: Because the fool doesn't know when he needs to stop. And when he needs to listen to others. And there's more but why waste time talking on how Alvin and Melvin are.
Seymour: Yea, he's just irritating.
This one is an anonymous user:
Theodore, that does not make you mature.
So noted, and ignored.
Joelle: Hey that Ecthros guy posted again,
Finally, I got back on without my master or the others being the wiser! First I wanted to point out a few things. First, when I said that "there's a minute in five minutes," I meant to say there was a "MEETING in five minutes". Secondly, as for Odotherex's military, when I described the army as a combination of some of history's most powerful armies. I was able to count them. There were approximately 20.5 million, which includes aerial, land, and naval forces.
Anyway, to lighten the mood, a request for Theodore. Can you possibly make Beef Wellington? And for Simon and Jeanette, if you had the chance to change any event in history w/o consequences, what would it be and why?
Why does everyone think this is a cooking show? Look, Theodore and Eleanor are trees; they can't make anything! Irritating mortals.
Seymour: Here is Kaylie again...
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!
Just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing writing writing writing writing...
(50000 'Just keep writing's later)
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!
Joelle: We know that you would like us to update, but please don't post stuff like this, it wastes screen-time.
Seymour: This is from Brynn:
Why isn't ANYONE saying anything? This poor Sammy left and you guys act as if you don't even care! Sure, you spent a few days just begging her to come back... But... Then it just kind of stopped! What, did y'all get BORED, is that it? Did you GIVE UP on her? Because if that's what you did, that's not very impressive and it shows that you have about the stick-to-it-tiveness as Eeyore! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! Because if she's out there, looking back at these reviews, she's gonna think that we don't care! And we do care, right? But y'all just kind of stopped caring left little ol' Sammy out in the dust! That's not fair!
What happened to that awesome idea! You guys said you were gonna write a story about her, or something! But that's the thing, you guys are all talk... But you can't back up the words that are spilling out of your mouth! You guys don't really act like you care, either!
Why did you guys stop making you promises, too? I didn't see alot of you making promises of any kind? Where are those promises to Hailey? Did y'all get to lazy to do those, too?Whatcha been doing out there? Did y'all just get lazy out there? Did you guys already lose your faith?
C'mon, now! I know a lot of you out there have probably lost alot of faith in the fact that Sammy's coming back, but you can't do that if you truely want her to come back! Now, you guys want her back, don't you? Well, she's not gonna come back if you guys don't even bother to apologize! And those of you who did have the decency to apologize, thanx a bunch! But there's still a handfull of you out there who still haven't apologied! We have to keep our chins up and never stop believing!
Now, for the best results, I'd say that you should get cracking on the story for Sammy! If that don't get that chick back here, nothin' will! I'd offer to help, but I am not very strong in writing! So please do something! At least act like you care! Make a story! Keep apologizing! Make a promise to Hailey! Do SOMETHING nice for her! Please!
Joelle: You humans, do what you want but don't waste our time with it! More likely this person is sick of dealing with humans that want to apologize and use empty words like 'I'm Sorry' Pathetic!
Seymour: Kaylie replied to him.
Joelle: Let's not waste time with their conversation. Are there any more questions?
Seymour: Let me check...
Kaylie has 2 more questions,
Um, i REALLY want to do a Q&A show with some books and movies, but in the guidelines, it says not to. I don't want to be suspended, but i was DYING to do a story/show like that. None of the Q&A shows have been deleted. Should i or shouldn't i?
Joelle: It doesn't matter to me. If you do we might decide to come on and take over your show. Which might be fun, now that I think about it, you should do it just so we can take over the show!
Seymour: And her last question is:
But what if little kids want their questions answered?
So? What about the young mortals?
Joelle: Yea, why do you bring them up? Anyway let's see how Simon's doing.
Simon: Thanks Jeanette. Enticing my vampire self to use you as a blood cow – and then putting my vampire antidote in the syringe along with your blood – was genius!
Seymour: NO! You will pay for that Jeanette!
Joelle: Yes, with your heat!
(Joelle grabs Jeanette and starts to suck away her heat)
Jeanette: Simon will save me… with a kiss…
(Jeanette freezes solid. )
Brittany: Alvin?
Alvin: Brittany babe?
Brittany: You've snapped out of it! Oh, I knew you would! (kisses Alvin)
Charlene: Crap! He reversed the commands! I'm out of here! (runs off)
Alvin: (Finds a box) Well, lookie here…
Joelle: How can he move so fast?
Seymour: I'll cover you, get out of here!
Joelle: R-right. (runs off as Seymour holds Alvin off)
Seymour: I don't have time to deal with you fools, I'm out of here!
(Seymour leaves)
Simon: Thank goodness that's over. Alvin, I guess that makes you a hero! (makes a call on his cell phone)
Alvin: Well, this is how I did it-
Simon: (talks on cell phone) You can answer that on the next show. But I'm talking to the studio director right now, and he would like to reward you.
Alvin: YAAAY! I GET MY SHOW BACK! PARTY'S ON TONIGHT!
Simon: Yes, UNDER THREE CONDITIONS:
Alvin: Aw, jeez…
Simon: First off, NO ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION. At least not until next year when you're twenty-one.
Alvin: Fine.
Simon: Secondly, NO EXPLICIT – well, you know what.
Alvin: WHAT?
Simon: That's right. If you must do it, do it while hiding yourselves down there.
Alvin: Well, that's lame. But I can still do the dirty parodies, right?
Simon: I don't see why not. Thirdly, you can only do the show once a month.
Alvin: ONCE A MONTH? AW, NUTS!
Simon: That's OK; I'm dropping down to once a month as well. CosmicKitten89 is too busy with other things, such as the Chipmunks Parody Show on Youtube, to sponsor this show every week. That last episode took her three and a half hours.
Now, I am sorry to all my fans; it appears that time has flown this week, quite literally, and I'm afraid that I need to rest so I can have the energy to answer your questions.
Fortunately, next month happens to be next week, so…
See you all this July!
Oh, and Adam Seville and his family have volunteered to guest-star in my next episode!
Brittany: Simon, you are forgetting something! Look behind you!
Simon: Jeanette! How could I forget; she's frozen!
Brittany: But I bet you can free her with a kiss!
Simon: I don't know…
Alvin: Just do it!
Simon: Well, I'm afraid I should probably experiment to discover the properties of Dark world cryogenics before…
(Simon moves in closer)
Jeanette…
(Kisses Jeanette)
Jeanette: I am free! Simon-(gasps)
Simon has taken Jeanette's place as a frozen statue.
Thanks to The Chipette Protector for writing the script for the Darkmunks for this episode!