JAC'S POINT OF VIEW

How could she tell her how upset she would feel if Poppy were to leave? Jac knew it would be selfish. But she wanted to see Poppy get through this.

And the thing was, it felt like it could be a victory for the twelve year old who was abandoned, years ago, who didn't get to see a happier ending until it was far too late to salvage her childhood.

Jac's practical head made her well aware of how ridiculous she was being; Poppy wasn't her daughter, she had only been in Jac's life for a week, and just because she would be living elsewhere didn't necessarily mean that she would never see Jac again. But Jac was all too aware that once Poppy wasn't living in her house, hoovering up all the fruit in the fridge, slamming the doors, leaving wet towels all over the bathroom floor, sitting on the window-seat on her laptop with the sun in her hair, or playing terrible, awful music at unnecessary volumes, she would feel desolate.

Goddamn emotions.

Jac stayed with her until Poppy sat up and looked her in the face.

"I need to go back, don't I? I need to deal with this."

Jac looked at her. She had this fierce little look on her face, tear tracks still trailing down her cheeks. To Jac it was like looking in a mirror.

"Yeah. You do." Jac stood up and held out a hand to Poppy to help her up too. She couldn't leave the ward mid-shift, but saw Poppy to the taxi and handed over the money to the driver.

"I don't want to see you back here until 3.30, got it?"

Poppy nodded and flashed her a smile, before the cab pulled away. Jac watched it turn the corner round Wyvern Wing, and went inside.

As she headed back up to Darwin, Jac started to think tactics. She didn't want to lose Poppy when her dad came back to sweep her off her feet. He sounded like a bigot and a moron, who, in Jac's view, turned up as and when he pleased to be a parent, but left Poppy with her mother when she didn't fit in with his plans. Jac knew from experience exactly what that felt like. And she didn't want Poppy to get hurt.

So Jac decided, as she stepped out of the lift, that her weekend would be devoted to Poppy. Emma was with Jonny for a few days, which meant that they could literally go anywhere, and they wouldn't have to worry about getting home for bedtime and feeding a hungry but fussy toddler.

As she was contemplating a day in London versus a day exploring the little beaches of North Devon, someone rushed past her down the corridor, knocking into her elbow, scattering paperwork all over the floor and coffee everywhere.

Jac turned around and surveyed the mess, and saw a coffee-soaked Zosia standing in the middle of it. She had a stack of cardboard folders in her hand, and a now-empty Pulses cup. As they made eye contact, Zosia's face crumpled up and she burst into tears.

Why was everyone crying today? Jac thought in exasperation, as she bent down to gather the scattered papers. First Poppy, now Zosia. Valentine better not be next.

"Dr March, my office please,"

Zosia followed Jac into her office, dropping the folders onto the couch and throwing the cup into the bin. Jac sat down at her desk and folded her arms, scrutinizing Zosia.

"What's going on, Zosia?"

Zosia stood there, arms crossed behind her back, shuffling her feet and looking at the ceiling.

"Zosia," Jac repeated, and Zosia suddenly flicked her gaze down to her, like she had only just become aware of who she was talking to.

"Nothing, I'm fine."

Jac sighed and took off her glasses "Zosia, you're clearly not."

Zosia shifted on her feet again, this time staring out the window "Honestly Ms Naylor, I'm fine."

"I don't think you are." Jac narrowed her eyes "This morning you were agitated and jumpy, this afternoon you dropped a few bits of paper and started crying in the middle of the ward. I won't ask you again; what's going on?"

Zosia steadied her feet, and looked straight at Jac. Jac found it unnerving and looked down at her desk before looking back up again, just for a break from Zosia's unwavering gaze.

"I don't want to talk about it, if you don't mind."

Jac felt guilty for feeling so relieved that she didn't have to hold Zosia's hand while she cried. In here, they were professionals and public displays of emotion were not ideal.

Zosia took the stack of paper from Jac's desk, sat on the couch next to the empty folders, and started to sort the mess out. Jac looked at her with her sodden scrubs and took pity on her.

"Go and get changed, Zosia, you're soaked. I'll start on these."

Zosia looked at her in surprise "Are you sure? I can do it."

"I know you can. But I'm offering to help."

"Ok, well, thank you." Zosia darted from the room before Jac could change her mind. Jac sat gingerly in the spot Zosia had previously occupied, and surveyed the damage.

They were discharge papers. The backlog would mean that people who needed discharging would be here until tomorrow, potentially. They didn't have the time or bed space for that. Jac cursed Zosia under her breath, and started to file.

Zosia returned minutes later, in clean scrubs, with her hair redone in its austere bun. She moved a pile of papers and sat next to Jac. Sheet after sheet of paper they filed, working in a silence that was more companionable than awkward.

After a while, Zosia looked up at Jac. The manic, dazed expression from earlier had gone, replaced with a curious stare.

"How's it going with Poppy?"

Jac looked up. Zosia seemed genuinely interested. Jac bit the bullet.

"It's alright. It's been more up and down than a yoyo, and I don't think I've ever seen anyone cry so much before in my life. She's struggling, understandably. But she's great, she's brought a bit of life to the house. And she's so good with Emma."

"How long is she with you for?"

Jac sighed "Her dad is supposed to be showing his face soon. But from what I've heard he's a selective parent. He just picks her up when he feels like it, takes her shopping, spoils her, and then dumps her back with her mum when she doesn't fit in to his plans. Dumped, rather."

Zosia stuffed another piece of paper into a file and looked at Jac thoughtfully "So you're saying he's going to come back for her, take her off somewhere for a bit, and then drop her again as soon as he has to do any real parenting? Surely that can't be allowed."

"You'd think so. Part of me wonders if he'll just pull her out of school and drag her round the world on his seemingly endless business trips. He's in Delhi at the moment, apparently."

"A business trip could have been cut short for the death of your ex-wife, though, couldn't it? I'm sure his company would understand that as a parent, he has responsibilities."

"See that's the thing. Poppy didn't have his PA's number. She knew he had a PA, but she couldn't tell me their name. Made me wonder if his work are even aware that he has a daughter. Or an ex-wife, dead or alive."

Zosia chewed on her lip thoughtfully "There's got to be a reason for that. It's hard to hide your family from people, he must have gone out of his way to do it. Everyone knows Guy Self's my dad, don't they? Stuff like that gets around quickly."

"Wasn't it you who told everyone that anyway?" Jac flashed Zosia a quick smile before she could stop herself. "Anyway. We'll see what happens."

"Will you try and maintain custody?"

Jac ignored the last question, and forced a final form into the last folder, before shuffling the stack together and dumping it on Zosia's lap.

"Thank you, Doctor March."

Zosia stood up, cradling the folders like a baby "Jac, surely you want to fight to keep her?"

"You're free to go," Jac stared at her computer screen, willing herself to stay composed. Zosia spun on her heal and left, slamming the door behind her.

The words in front of Jac blurred beyond recognition. She blinked rapidly and was stunned to feel a tear trickle down her left cheek.

Bloody hell, she thought to herself, swiping it away. Not more fucking tears.