(A/N) This one will be a little different. It will be split into two parts, the first part titled Parenting and the second part titled Detention, you'll see why later, mostly for length. Just wanted to clear that up. There are minor sexual references, so if that offends you either ignore them, or don't read it.
It was six o'clock and Kurda's fingers were drumming the desk in anticipation. His class was showing up soon and he was ready, this chaos was going to end today, if it killed every last one of them.
"Afternoon, teach." Arrow came in the door and flopped down at his desk, followed by the rest of the class. They all sat down, and if looks could kill, Kurda would be six-feet under.
"Good afternoon class. Today, we will be taking a parenting class, and we even have a guest speaker." Kurda walked around to the front of the desk, "Does anyone-,"
Arrow cut him off, "Who in the hell is a guest speaker for parenting class? No one here is a parent!"
All the class stared up at Kurda, waiting on an answer. "Well, this is actually for off a sexual education class, which involves parenting skills. So our guest speaker is Vanez Blane."
"Vanez? Really?" Mika spoke up from his seat beside Arra, "He's like the two hundred year old vir-."
"There are small children in the room!" Seba yelled at Mika, standing up behind his desk. "Stop making inappropriate comments Mika!"
"I'm almost 19 years old! And he was going to say vir-" Darren stood up, too, defending his honor.
"Don't say it!" Arra yelled. Everyone turned to her.
"What's wrong with vir-" Gavner spoke up, and shut up with a glare form Arra.
"We are at school! You don't say that word at school!" Arra yelled back at him.
"Some people lose their vir-" Arrow didn't finish the word, "At school. Why can't we say it?"
"Because if you do, I'll kill you, Arrow." Arra said, turning to him.
"I'll help her!" Seba said.
"CLASS!" Kurda yelled interrupting their very important discussion. "Our guest has arrived and we are all going to show him respect. So, sit down, and shut up."
Everyone did exactly that as Vanez walked in. "Hey, Vanez." Darren said, form his chair. Vanez nodded his head, setting a black bag on the table.
"Its' the mysterious black bag." Arrow whispered, and Mika snorted.
Vanez whipped around, his good eye stretched wide and his sightless one aimed straight at the bald prince. "What's in this bag is the biggest thing that could ever happen to any of you. The most dangerous thing. The most unchangeable thing. Because once it's there, there is no getting rid of it. Do you think that's funny?"
Arrow and Mika shook their heads, as Vanez reached into the bag. Looking at it, Kurda noticed that it wasn't really a bag; it was a basket, with no top. Vanez reached down and pulled out the contents.
"WHERE IN THE HELL, DID YOU GET A BABY?" Paris yelled. In Vane's arms was a tiny baby, a real live baby. Staring back at all of them with big blue eyes and a scared smile.
"Wal-Mart. There's a lot of them there." Vanez murmured, rocking the baby back and forth. "Now, you see this baby?"
But the rest of his message died as the class surged up to see the baby. "Its' so cute?" "What's its name?" "Is it a boy, or a girl?"
"SHUT UP!" Vanez yelled, and the throng froze instantly. "This baby is cute and adorable, but it is also responsibility, pain, money, suffering, and danger in a cute little package."
Everyone took a step back from the baby, and its tiny face tightened up as it got ready to cry.
"It doesn't look evil, Vanez." Vanez and Kurda watched as the class got unconsciously closer to the Wal-Mart baby. "It's so cute."
Vanez whipped around towards the front desk. "It is adorable, that's what makes it dangerous!" He turned back to face them, a crazed look in his eye. "That's why I'm giving your class the baby, and you have to care for it today. On a 100 dollar budget, in this room."
He put the baby into the basket, and ran from the room. Everyone watched him go, thinking that someone was off his meds, before Kurda captured their attention. "I have decided that you are all one family, one set of parents, two grandpas and the rest of you are uncles."
Arra reached for the baby. "So who's the parents?" She looked at Kurda.
"You and Larten." He said instantly, to a loud gasp form Arrow.
"What? We can't have a gay couple raise the baby?" He demanded, getting in Kurda's face. "Gay couples can raise perfectly happy, wonderful children, you prejudice bastard!"
"Arrow I'm not prejudice, it's just that gay couples can't have biological children." Kurda explained, backing up.
"Humph. Sounds like a stupid excuse if you ask me. Be careful what you say Blondie, I won't have a prejudice baby grow up in this home!" He gave Kurda one more glare, and then turned back to his family.
All of them gathered around the baby, and as it started to scream, they realized that Vanez had been right. This was a one way ticket to Hell.
"So," Darren said, rocking back and forth on his heels. "Is it a boy or a girl?"
I think it's a boy." Mika said, getting up close to the babies face as it grabbed his long hair. "Definitely a boy."
"I think it's a girl." Arra said, letting the baby grab her finger and put it in her mouth.
"So," Darren said, still rocking, "Who wants to check?"
"No" Larten said immediately. Arra turned on him.
"This is our child! Don't you want to know the gender?" She glared at him, and he shifted his eyes.
"Its' not really ….ours, Arra." He said quietly.
"Excuse me? Did you just say this baby isn't ours?" She handed the baby to Darren, who backed away. "So, what you're saying is that knowing the gender is not important, because the baby isn't biologically ours?"
"I just…" Larten backed away slowly, his hands palm up.
"You just decided that the baby is not important because it's not "ours"." She backed him against the wall. "If you think you can just flake out after all we've been through, you can forget that. You're a father now, now be a man and check the gender on our baby."
She slapped him across the face, pulled him off the wall and flung him to where Darren was standing with the baby. He took it from his arms and glanced back at Arra, who was standing with her arms crossed.
He walked over to the desk and set the baby down. Everyone was silent as he went to change the diaper. "It's a boy!" He yelled, "Definately a boy."
As fast as he could, he scooped the baby back into a diaper, and picked him up. "Are you happy now?"
""Yes, thank you." Arra said, and took the baby back.
"So, what's his name?" Gavner asked.
"Lil' Arrow!" Arrow yelled, reaching for the baby. It watched his fingers and then bit him hard on the hand.
"I am not dooming my child with that name Arrow." Arra said, pulling the baby off Arrow's hand.
"Paris, Jr.?" Paris suggested, but it was shot down, along with Darren Junior, Mini-Gavner, Mini-Me, and Midget.
"How about Albert?" Larten said, met by silence.
"Hell no!" Arrow said, "What kind of vampire name is Albert?"
Larten hung his head in disappointment, he had always wanted an Albert. "His name is Mickey."
"Mickey?" Mika said, then at Arra's glare, "It's better than Albert."
"Feed me to the sharks, why don't you?" Larten muttered.
"Mickey's okay…, but what about his last name?" Arra looked at Larten, Larten looked at Darren, Darren looked at Gavner, Gavner looked at Paris, Paris looked at Seba, Seba looked at Arrow, Arrow looked at Mika, and Mika looked at Arra, "It's Sails-Crepsley-Shan-Purl-Nile-Skyle-Ver Leth."
"Dar Gods, he'll never make it through kindergarten!" Larten said, and then shut up as Arra slammed her foot on his. "Sound great!" He squeaked.
"Alright!" Kurda spoke up for the first time in ten minutes. "Now that that's established, let's work on your budget. I have a cabinet full of supplies and your fake money, so you have to budget and buy things for the baby." He stopped and took a wad of tiny bills out of his pocket. "For detention there will e an extra two hours of care for the baby."
"And now," Arrow said, as the baby took up to screaming for God-knows what reason, "The Shit hits the fan."
(A/N) And so ends part one, the second one will get better! Will Larten survive his and Arra's relationship? Will Kurda? Will Mickey? Dun-dun-Dun
By the way, lots of people suggested parenting. If you were one of these people, send your name in a PM or review and I will put a list in the next chapter which will be titled Detention.
Check out my new poll! Please!