The Boredom of Mathias Køhler II - No Room for Awesome

Mathias had managed to hijack the field for baseball practice. How, you ask? Using Tino's cute little face. Adolescence is so predictable. He'd also stolen all the equipment.

'Ok, for starters we're going to practise catching one thousand rounders!' Mathias had taken the batting position, and presumably we were supposed to catch whatever he hit at us. Unfortunately, Tino hadn't quite realised that, and the balls Mathias had hit went sailing past dangerously close to his head, sending him cowering to the floor. Mathias wasn't impressed.

'Oh, come on! The future of the SOS Brigade is riding on that ball! Get to it!' ...I didn't know the future could ride on something so small. The more you know...

Of course, I didn't fare too well either. It would have been much easier to catch the damned things if they went anywhere near me, but Mathias sent them all incredibly wide of me. Eirikur somehow managed to catch them all, but I'm guessing he's practised. What's even more baffling is just how that puffin stays on his shoulder all of the time. Doesn't Eirikur have claw marks in his shoulder from that thing standing there? And as for Berwald, he made no attempt to catch any of the balls unless they went directly towards him.

'Ok, Tino! Here come some more!' Mathias hit another rally of balls towards Tino, who was still on the floor. And thanks to the fact that he was still in that maid dress, his legs were exposed. And baseballs to a bare leg? Not nice.

'O-ow! That hurt...' he whimpered quietly. Berwald said nothing, just picked Tino up and carried him off the pitch.

'Dammit, you two! Back to your positions!' Mathias shouted after them.

'Injured,' was Berwald's brief reply. Mathias groaned, but eventually gave in.

You know how some people are just too perfect at doing things? Yeah, we all know someone like that. No reason for bringing that up, seriously. Well, apart from the Dane wielding the baseball bat.

'Interesting. Mathias got exactly one thousand hits,' Eirikur commented afterwards.

'You counted?'

'Yep.'

Well, someone must have been bored. Seems to be a theme. Berwald started to walk off somewhere.

'Hei, Berwald?' He stopped. 'Think on the day of the tournament you could make it rain or something? Enough to cancel the game.'

''s possible. However, any alteration of the local climate could have devastating effects on the ecosyst'm.'

'Ah. Better not, then.'

'Nej.' I looked back at the field, where Mathias was still practising with the help of some random passer-by. How... very like him.

The day of the tournament had finally arrived. Now it was time to see who Tino's mysterious friend was.

...well, whoever he was, he certainly had an incredibly loud laugh.

'Dahahahaha! So you're Norge? I hear a lot about you from Tino!'

Speaking of Tino, he'd appeared beside his friend. 'O-oh, I forgot to introduce you. This is Gilbert.' Gilbert, huh? With white hair and red eyes, I'm surprised Mathias hasn't taken more of an interest in him... although I guess he isn't paying too much attention to appearances. With the obvious exception of Tino. Then again, he did pick up Eirikur, who also has white hair... I really ought to stop going off on tangents.

Then Feliks pushed past me. 'Hi! Like, I'm Feliks!' I'm really not sure why he was so eager to introduce himself, but it's not my problem.

'Toris. Pleased to meet you.'

'Yeah! See, like, when he asked, I totally couldn't turn down my good friend Norge!' Good friend? I'd love to know where you get these delusions from, Feliks...

'So you're Feliks and you're Toris? I'll remember that now! The awesome me never forgets a face!' Evidently, Gilbert was just that full of himself. I wonder if he actually realised he had a little bird on his shoulder? Another similarity with Eirikur. He couldn't be an esper as well, could he?

Nah. That'd be much too much of a coincidence.

'Nor! Over here!' ...what did Mathias want now?

To complain at me, apparently. I guess my brilliant idea wasn't what he wanted.

'What're ya thinking, bringing a kid like him in to play baseball?' Ah, yes. I forgot to mention. My brilliant idea? My younger brother, of course. With him on our side, we'll lose in no time. It's utter genius, nei?

'He'd complain at me if I left him out again.' I watched the group assembled around the brat. Tino in particular had taken a shine to him.

'But he's small and cute! I can hardly believe he's related to someone like you. And what's with his eyebrows, anyway?' You're complaining about my brother's eyebrows, now? Can't exactly say yours are pencil-thin... 'Nor, this game is open to the public, ya know that?'

But of course, Mathias. That was the intention.

'Guess it's a handicap, then. Can't win too easily, can we?' ...You still think we're going to win this? Your stupidity transcends all belief...

We still needed to decide the batting order. So in true democratic style... we picked names from a hat. Mathias' idea, of course. It was my brother's hat, by the way. He seems to wear that blue thing everywhere. No doubt his school's uniform regulations are just as lax as ours...

Well, I say 'we'. What I meant was 'everyone except Mathias'. He'd already decided his positions. The benefits of being the leader are numerous.

Apparently, we were up against the favourites to win the tournament. Excellent. We'd definitely lose this one.

The game started, and Mathias took the bat. After the cry of 'Play ball!', the designated pitcher threw the ball. Mathias hit it, of course. Pretty hard.

'Ha! Call that a pitch?' he shouted, urging us all on. Next up was Tino... but after Friday's display, I can't say I was expecting too much.

And not too much is exactly what happened. The first ball startled him completely, and despite Mathias' calls of encouragement he made no attempt to hit the ball at all. Earning him a loud 'Damn you!' from Mathias.

Berwald's turn next, and I don't think he really understood the game. He just stood there, bat outstretched, completely unmoving. Didn't even try to hit the ball. Naturally, Mathias was just as impressed with him as he was with Tino.

My turn now. Better at least try to hit it, or Mathias will- whoa! How the heck did Mathias manage to hit that thing at all, let alone as far as he did? That's way too fast! Right. Second ball. Focus... dammit, missed that one too. One last shot. This is to save myself from Danish wrath. Concentrate! Swing the bat at the right time...

'Strike! Out!' Curses. Looks like Danish wrath it is, then.

Three out, so it was time to swap sides. Mathias had placed himself as pitcher, leaving the rest of us to field. Apart from Eirikur, who was behind the batter. I could only hope that he could keep up with the game...

Mathias bowled with the energy of a rocket, managing to get the first of their batters out fairly easily. I saw the first mutter something to the second, though, so presumably they had a plan of some description. Which evidently they did, as the second got himself a home run. How lucky for them.

Mathias seemed to be able to only throw straight pitches into the strike zone, so they figured a strategy pretty quickly. Combined with that, our fielding was practically useless. My brother tried to get one, but tripped over on the way; however endearing it was, it was no good for our game. Not to mention Tino seemed to have developed a phobia of fast-moving baseballs. Gilbert was pretty good, though, and even Feliks managed to catch one, though only by luck. The fact that the opposing team only scored two runs just proves that their goddess of luck was snoozing. Hei, everyone likes a Sunday off, don't they?

It was our turn to bat again, although only for a very short period of time, as neither my brother, Eirikur nor Toris could hit anything. And since the opposing team managed to score five more runs? Looks like we'll be heading home soon. Excellent.

Ah, was that a hit? Was Gilbert really as awesome as he claimed?

...nei. He'd hit it behind him.

'Ok, time out!' Mathias called suddenly. He grabbed Tino by the wrist and pulled him off somewhere. What on earth was he going to do now?

A/N: Well, what do you think he's going to do, Norge?

I know next to nothing about baseball, so just bear with me, okey? I'm sorry... As for the pairings, I think by now it should be fairly obvious. Everyone is Norge's bitch, duh. [I'm not being entirely serious, but still...]

Oh well. Next chapter features one bad mood, one more embarrassing outfit for Tino, and one big stinky cheater.

Until next time, see ya~