Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

A/N: Also I know next to nothing about Cancer, I'm basing this off of experience with a family member and wikipedia, so if something's wrong. Please don't hesitate to tell me.

HOPING FOR TOMORROW

Chapter 14: Terminal

Four weeks later Chloe has only spent five days at home, despite all the drugs and the fluids - that's supposed to make her better - the higher dosage of chemo is becoming too much for her body to take. Her room on the fifth floor of the Oncology ward has become like a second home to Chloe, and Beca's been more than welcome to to stay with her for the past four weeks, only leaving when Chloe insists that she goes. Beca tells her that there's nowhere else she'd rather be, so she started bringing her music equipment there to work, or simply just writing songs in her notebook. And the fact that Beca's there, with her, as a person she could say 'I love you' to every time she wanted to, is more than enough for Chloe.

There was a particularly tough night for Chloe, on Thursday. When she couldn't seem to keep any fluids in her body, and kept throwing it up. It wasn't as bad as her allergy, but it was still bad. Beca's been in and out, calling the nurse, cleaning her vomit-bucket, getting her water, and Chloe feels sorry. Although Beca reassures her with a wave of a hand and a 'It's fine Chlo.'

It's become to the point where she also can't keep down food, so Dr. Neal hooked one more tube into her hand. Feeding her from it. And Chloe thinks how it's so pathetic to be tied down like this. She can't even eat or drink properly, and her intakes of food are no longer monitored by her own will. It's monitored by a button that Jane or some other nurse simply presses to get her nutrients into her system. And true enough, Chloe doesn't eat for a couple of days.

Apparently her body decides that Chloe isn't being tortured enough, and now she has to have an oxygen machine pumped into her through her nose. Which makes it really hard for her to breathe. She's lost count of the number of days she stayed like this, slipping in and out of consciousness. One minute she's talking to Beca, and the other Beca tells her she'd fallen asleep for three hours. And it sucks. Because Beca's there, sometimes on her phone, sometimes on her laptop, and Chloe's not even sure Beca even knows when she's awake or when she's not.

But at night Chloe always feels it. She always feels Beca sliding into the small space of the hospital bed, next to her. And she's creating this warm blanket that the hospital gown or duvet could never do, and holding Chloe so close, so protective in her arms. Chloe could only feel her hands, not the tubes, not the oxygen pumper, only Beca. Chloe hears the good night's Beca always says to her, the I love you's that always ran a chill through Chloe's spine, and it hurts Chloe that she can't say it back.

One day Chloe wakes up suddenly from movements not from Beca. She could feel Beca's left hand holding her right hand, and her right hand holding her across the stomach. But her left hand is also being held by someone, and Chloe with all her energy, attempts to look down. Through sleep-induced haze Chloe's eyes travel from the window to the person holding her hand. And she swears she heard her heart skip a beat through the monitor, when she saw a sleeping Aubrey hunched over the bed and on her lap.

And Chloe's suddenly more awake than she's ever been in the four weeks she's spent here. She can't believe Aubrey is here, in front of her, holding her hand so tightly as if she'll never fucking let go again. Because she missed it, she missed her so fucking much. Aubrey's her best friend, the one to always keep Chloe grounded. And was waiting so patiently, for her to come back because she wasn't going to force another person to unwillingly take care of her. And she's never been so thankful, even if she only gets another week with her until it becomes to much. That's fine. Because Chloe's just keeping low standards because she knows if she sets high ones, she'll be more disappointed if it doesn't come true.

-Pandas-

"Did you know that sea otters hold hands when they sleep so they don't drift away from each other?" Chloe asked, as Beca walked in from her meeting with Cynthia-Rose, and some couple of other artists.

"Well hello to you too Chlo." Beca smirked while beginning to change from her clothes to a much comfortable one. "Are you saying I'm a sea otter?"

Sitting with her back against the cushioned headboard, Chloe looks at Beca with interest as she changed, "No, if you were an animal you'd be uhhh,"

"Something badass like a wolf right?"

"No, more like a Panda, but smaller version… Oh! A red panda because you're so cute and fluffy,"

"Not cute Beale." Beca grumbles as she finished changing to a tank top and short pants.

Chloe stuck her tongue out and patted the space next to her, lightly. Getting the hint Beca moves towards the space and then she rest her head on Beca's shoulder, while Beca plays with her phone.

Chloe's been having a hard time since after the hospital released her. It took almost all of the energy from her body, with all the increased dosages and medicine. She was only set home because Dr. Neal no longer found a reason for her to be kept in the hospital anymore. Most of the time, Chloe's sleeping on her bed or on the couch.

In fear of infection or extreme exhaustion, she doesn't go out like she used to. She hates this. She hates that she's so weak. She hates that she's not able to do anything. She can't even sit through a two hour movie with Beca, without dozing off in the middle. Beca doesn't mind, of course she doesn't mind. But Chloe can't help it, the migraine of staring to the TV too long, the exhaustion of sitting in the same spot for hours plus the ache in her bones was always enough to make her feel like shit.

She hates that Beca's always here.

Well no, that's not what she meant. She honestly think she can't even be positive anymore without Beca around, and that's so different. She's always there, either tapping on her keyboard or clicking on her mouse, sometimes she would play this really annoying music game in full volume, but she would never say it's annoying. Because part of her doesn't want it to stop, she needs affirmation that Beca's there, and whether it's the soft sounds of music editing, or the loud noise of the game.

What's really on Chloe's mind lately is not knowing if the chemicals flowing through her veins is working or not. Six weeks of drugs and medicine pumped into her body, that she's sure it's still in her body right now. That's what been haunting her every minute of the day. Her first bloodwork will be done two weeks after after her last treatment, and then it's all final. They'll know where this is all going.

Chloe lifts her head from Beca's shoulder after zoning out for a moment and thinks that that's another thing that she should stop doing. Her concentration isn't at its best right now, and she tends to lapse in and out of reality at times.

Beca stares at her after she removed her head from her shoulder. Chloe rubs her eyes, and mumbles out, "Sorry did you say something?"

Beca put down her phone on the bedside table, and looks at Chloe, "I said that if you were an animal, you would be a cute puppy," Beca stares at Chloe, and she stares back, like a puppy, "You okay though?"

Chloe straightened up her back to the headboard and sighed, "Yeap. I just zoned out a little, pretty tired you know. Anyway, how was it back in the studio?"

Beca shrugs her shoulders and put her knees close to her chest. She replied while staring down at the duvet, "I don't know, it was uneventful and a bore. Which was surprising because I usually find those meetings fun, but since everything that happened, it just came into my mind how we waste so much money on things that don't matter, rather than the things that do..."

"Beca, music is important. It's important for you,"

"You're more important to me Chlo." Beca mumbles while playing with a loose string on her pants.

Chloe lets her head fall back into the headboard as well, her neck aches… Why does Beca have to be painfully empathetic?

"Yea but it's your job Becs. You're going to make a lot of people happy with your music, people like me enjoy it... Even on the worst days,"

Chloe looks over at Beca, and she has this tiny, pursed smile that she only does when she doesn't want to show that she's blushing. How could she not though, when Chloe's looking as if Beca's hung the fucking stars up for her. And only her.

Beca doesn't say anything else, she just moves in front of Chloe and both of them crossed-legged. Beca places her hand on Chloe's thigh and her stare is enough to bore holes on the back of Chloe's skull. Chloe involuntarily looks away, until Beca cups her chin and guided it back to her face.

"I love you." Beca whispered into the space between them. Her hand slowly moving to Chloe's neck.

And it's still new to Chloe, and she found herself dumfounded while saying it back, "I love you too," Chloe's hand tangles with Beca's.

Beca leans in forward and closes the small gap between them. She stops when their lips are barely touching almost as if she's waiting for Chloe to make her move, so she does. She leans forward and they touch ever so lightly, and Chloe's slightly dry lips connect with Beca's damp ones. And they just moves with each other.

Chloe found the collar of Beca's shirt and tugs it lightly, her hand shaking even with that small amount of effort. Thankfully, getting the hint, Beca's body moves forward, until Beca's legs are kneeling in front Chloe. One of Beca's hand snakes to Chloe's shoulder, and one beside Chloe's head on the headboard to support her weight. Chloe brings the hand that was previously on Beca's collar to Beca's face, and rubs light circles on her soft cheek.

Chloe moans a little when Beca bit lightly on her bottom lip, and she opens her mouth to let Beca in. And she's willing to let Beca explore every little crevice she has, if that's what's going to take to ignore the pain creeping up on her back. And she's already finding it hard to draw in breath by breath, and Beca's certainly not helping with that.

But she delights in Beca's undivided attention to her. Beca's hand that's cradling her neck ever so gently, and the way she holds up her weight on Chloe's, as her tongue moves in smooth circles in Chloe's mouth. And she's so gentle, and so careful. The adoration in every movement she makes is sending shivers down Chloe's spine, because this is real. And it's happening. It's so good and wonderful that she tries to shake off the fact that this could be temporary.

Beca's hand slides from her neck, all the way down to the hem of her shirt, and then slips her hand inside. She slides it up all the way to Chloe's back, her cold hand comes in contact with her warm temperature, makes Chloe's body arch up a little. Half because she's cold, half because Beca came in contact with the pain that's there. And she silently tells her body, that she doesn't fucking need this right now.

Letting her mouth fall away from Chloe's, Beca moves away slightly as she kisses her way down from the corner of Chloe's mouth all the way to her collarbone before sucking there. Chloe took in a sharp intake of breath, because it's all so much. And she wants to enjoy it. But the ache in her back, isn't that small not to be ignored anymore. She wants to tell Beca to move her hand away, but is afraid if she does so, she'll stop. And she doesn't want that.

"Are you-" Bite. "Okay?" Beca whispered. Chloe clasped her hand on Beca's shirt, when Beca bit her. She can't find her voice right now, so she nodded instead. Beca's hand moves away from her back, and Chloe's internally grateful for that. Her hand moves to the waistband of Chloe's sweatpants, just playing with it momentarily before ghosting her fingers in lightly.

Oh. So this is happening.

Chloe tries so hard to be there. To give Beca her full attention, to try to ignore the tiredness running through her body. To ignore the pain that's coursing through her whole back. To not feel how her bones feel as if they are going to break with every movement Beca makes. And it's so embarrassing that she's so weak, all she wants is to hold Beca up against walls or pin her against the bed. But right now she's already having trouble letting Beca do all the work.

But despite that, she's trying her fucking hardest.

Beca trails her way back up again, capturing Chloe's mouth in a more heated kiss than the last one. Their tongues moving in rhythm with each others, and they begin a slow pattern that Chloe can deal with for a little bit. But Beca lets her hand travel under her pants, and she's slowly inching her way over the fabric of Chloe's underwear. And Chloe shudders under Beca, grinding little by little with every pattern of their kiss.

The pleasure and pain through her body is like two major opposing forces, battling for Chloe's body. And she's trying so hard for the pleasure to overtake the pain, and this is not how Chloe imagined their first time is going to be at all. Certainly not with her having cancer. She tries so hard and so badly to let her body be numb, to feel like the way she felt at the hospital, to have just this one moment with Beca.

So she continues to be in pain as Beca confidently moves her hand inside Chloe's underwear, and now there was nothing in between Beca and Chloe's arousal. And Beca continues to kiss her deeply, her other hand going up her shirt to take advantage of Chloe's no-bra situation. Chloe lets herself be lost in Beca's movements, the way she's prodding down there and how she's so careful not to inflict too much pain on Chloe. Chloe moans lightly into the kiss, letting Beca know that she needs her.

Beca got the message and began to slowly move her hand. In the heat of the moment, and Chloe being too selfish. She bucks her hips up to create more friction, but lands awkwardly on her back.

"Fuck!" Chloe exclaimed, breaking the kiss. And Beca suddenly halts everything she's doing, and retrieves back her hands. Her eyes that was hooded with seduction, now filled with worry.

And Chloe can't help but let small tears escape her eyes, because it hurts. Everything hurts. But mostly because life had to fuck this up as well. And now she's whispering, "Fuck. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Oh my god. I'm so sorry,"

Beca moves back and sits on her legs, her face crumpling a little, but mostly she just looks tired as well. She took in a deep breath and moves back to the space where she was in before, beside Chloe. She slumped down there, and Chloe closes her eyes determined not to look at Beca. She fixes her position, so that her back wasn't much of a problem anymore, and it was silent for a moment. Until Beca mimics Chloe's position so that they're both lying down, and she takes in one of her hands.

"It's okay, I'm more worried about you. That was so unimportant, I'm the one who should be sorry. You know that right?"

Chloe took back her hand and just moves to her side, facing away from Beca as she tries to not let her tears fall. Because it is important and it so not okay for Beca to say it's unimportant.

"Chlo. You get that right?" Beca tries again, her voice wavering.

She just offers a small nod, but whispers, "It's not really that unimportant," and her voice is so impossibly light, and out of sync that she feels that she's not herself. She feels so out of this world, and it's only Beca to keep her from drifting away. And she thinks that this was what she needed to tell Beca that she wants this, she wants to be with her. And she wanted Beca to know that.

Beca was silent for a moment, before wrapping her arms around Chloe's waist and Chloe could feel her breath on the back of her neck. "It's so unimportant Chloe. All I need is for you to be okay,"

And Chloe feels like crying again. She so pathetic. Her throat starts to close up and it's beginning to ache along her spine through her muscles and bones. She moves her head slightly so she can see Beca in her peripheral view. "Thank you."

And Beca pulls her in closer. She might not know how to handle all of life's shit that it's throwing at her. But all she knows is that there's a person that loves her, who's holding her close right now, promising never to let go. Promising that she won't let her pull away. She tries not to think about the event that just unfolded, and just tangles her hand with Beca's.

-Pandas-

It was a beautiful Sunday morning in LA. The sun was shining through streaks from Chloe's hospital room, she could hear the faint noise of bird chirping from the window and the color that painted through the walls deeply contrasted the color leaving Chloe's face when Dr. Neal told her that there were nothing else they could do.

Honestly, Chloe shouldn't even be surprised by this. Life just fucking hates her doesn't it. She came into the hospital with only the knowledge that she was going to run some routine tests; hopefully determine her fate other than this one and it all collapsed. She'd been told that the cells would stop. She'd been told that she was going to be fine. Just fine. She's FINE.

No she's not.

Her eyes drop to her hands that has a death grip on the sheets, soon becoming white-knuckled. She feels her throat constricting, and she clenched her teeth to prevent anything from happening yet. She hears the light taps of Dr. Neal's pen on her clipboard, and the ragged breaths coming from Beca next to her. And it's getting louder.

She wants to curl herself up and get away. She can't face the reality of hearing the word right now. Her hands start shaking and she's biting the inside of her lip hard. She wants to move but every part of her brain tells her no.

And she's just now registering that Dr. Neal has been repeating her name for quite a while now. Through blurred vision and vulnerability, Chloe looks up to her. She feels like she should cry, but her body is preventing her to do so. She just forgets the entirety to function normally.

"What did you say?" Chloe chokes out, and her words come out so raw, as if this is the first time she's spoken in years.

Dr. Neal's face is set at a classic pitiful face, but there's a little hint of something more. She can't help but think that doctors always form a kind of bond with their patients, and to deliver this news to them must be pretty hard. "I said that I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear when you walked through those hospital doors, but it seems that the progress has developed faster than we'd foreseen. I'm so deeply sorry Chloe."

Chloe stares at the hospital door, refusing to meet Dr. Neal's eyes. It's all too fast. She looks towards Beca, and she was playing with her fingers while biting her lip, a thing she does when she's nervous or scared. She looks out the window and sees the people going in and out of the hospital, and thinks that it's moving too fast. Everything is moving too fast.

"Okay. So like-" What does she even try to ask in this situation. "How long 'til you know? Yea…" And Chloe swears her heart broke when Beca's wretched sob made itself known. She wants nothing more than to lock herself up in a dark room, and just fade.

Dr. Neal opens her mouth and closes it again, this repeats about two times before she comes with an audible answer, "There's not a certain time… Yet. It ranges between five months to a year, and we would have to calculate how fast it's growing to determine the accurate… Uhh time."

Chloe tried to take in the words. But her body just refuses to. Her ears feel like they're burning and it's not helping that her her eyes are filled to the brim with tears.

This can't be happening.

Her body now has a fucking deadline between five months to a year. She begins to hyperventilate, focusing all her energy in her ability - or inability - to breathe. She looks through her peripherals and Beca seems to suffer as much as her.

She'd never got ready for this. Never had the time to prepare what she would do. She's always been invincible, and she pride herself in her ability to keep calm when things go wrong. But this was one situation that Chloe could not, in a million years, be able to handle.

Everyday another person has gone to remission, and she thought that she would surely be one of those people that do. But now she's being told that she has a fucking deadline for her body. Like her life has no other meaning than to go to this expiry date. Chloe never truly accepted the fact that she's going to die. She's never going to accept the fact that she can't live long enough to buy a house, to be able to love Beca without cancer in their way, to travel to those exotic countries she's always wanted to visit, to settle eventually -preferably with Beca- somewhere other than LA, to hint on the suggestion on having children, eventually watching them grow and graduate, then earn enough money to retire, to move to a remote town with Beca, to die when she was fucking supposed to die. Old. Content. Happy.

She was never ready for this at all.

"What else?" And the voice that comes out of her is one that she doesn't recognize, small, insecure, scared.

"Well you are no longer required for your weekly routine checkups and treatments, but we can organize like therapy or counselling if you're interested. We will check up at least once a month though, the check you up if any other problem arises." Dr. Neal said in a way that doesn't reflect the sunny weather outside right now. she sounds like she doesn't want to be in this room right now. Doesn't want to be in a room with someone who's dying. Especially her own patient.

Dr. Neal cleared her throat and began to steady herself, "I'll give you two a moment. You look like you need it, if you need me, I'll be outside with Jane in the nurse's station."

Chloe hardly knew that she was nodding, as she feels the vibrations of the door closing.

Chloe couldn't hear anything at first, but the sound of Beca sobbing is becoming clearer and louder in her ears. it feels as though it's getting louder by the minute. And the space around her seems so small.

Chloe threw back the hospital covers and stood up to go to the window. She admires her hospital room view, she could always see the front door, she could see the people coming in with dreadful looks or the people leaving with hopeful and cheerful faces. She put her elbows on the ledge and rested her forehead against the window.

She adjusts her eyes to look towards Beca, she's hunched over, with her elbows on her knees while her hands are covering her face. She could see her shaking and the sounds emitted from her, Chloe could only describe as sounds from her worst nightmare.

Which is coincidentally happening right now.

Chloe wishes she could stop it. Because this. This is not meant to happen. And this is what she was afraid of the most. She's afraid of losing Beca. Afraid to watch Beca lose her.

She turns around towards the door and Beca. She made the decision to leave the room, because the air is suddenly too tight to breathe. She can't do this right now. She just CAN'T. It feels like her lungs are collapsing, her mind is pulsing and there's an inexplicable force that's on her chest. And all she can hear is the beat of her own heartbeat that's beating abnormally fast, and her ragged breaths as she tries to gasp in air.

Chloe moves in between the bed and Beca, grabbing her sweater on the way. Her hand is on the door but then she feels a damp hand grabbing her wrist tightly. Stopping all her movements, Chloe tries hard not to notice that it's Beca's tears that are now on her wrist. All of the sudden there's a sob wrecking her throat, and her body is shaking as she feels herself begin to cry.

It wasn't the silent crying that she usually does. Her vision is beyond blurred, and she's sure that the sounds she's producing are inhuman. Everything is doesn't seem right anymore. And, Oh God. She's going to die.

"Beca." Chloe whimpers out as her legs fail on her, causing her to hunch over her back. Beca is still tightly gripping her wrist.

Beca supports her up, and once their faces are levelled, Beca turns properly to look at Chloe, whipping her hair off to one side. And in the subjective silence, Beca whispers out, "I'm sorry. I wish there was something more I could do." She swallows a gulp. "I wish I could be enough for you. To hold you. To love you more. And just give you everything you deserve."

And Chloe can't even have a response back. Because Beca's already broken beyond measure. No amount of reality can free her from the thought that she has to lose Chloe. To live in a world, without her.

"I love you." Beca cried out, saying it like she's scared that Chloe didn't hear her saying it. She wants to make sure every time she says it, that it's filler with meaning. And Chloe can't be here long enough for Beca to say it forever. And it's just so much to think about right now. Forever is a much too long time to live, without Chloe.

"I know," Chloe says with maximum effort, because her eyes are kind of blurry and she can't focus on one specific object right now. But she wants to say it back, but all that she can muster up now is those two little words that's released into the void.

They go home soon after.

Because what else is there to do there.

-Pandas-

Beca wakes up around three or four am in the morning. She felt the bed empty next to her and wondered where Chloe had went. It was only about a few hours since they'd reach home and Beca immediately went to sleep. Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes and began to walk out of the room. She opened the door to see that Chloe has somehow moved the couch over near the window, and it was open, letting the cool night breeze in.

She was tapping on her phone and Beca wondered who she was texting at this time. The only light emanating from her phone showed the dark circles under her eyes, and the moon which reflected her sickly pale skin tone.

Beca doesn't say anything at first and just watches Chloe as she types, what seems like a long paragraph on her phone. She thinks how peaceful Chloe looks, how she hasn't looked like that in a while.

"Hey," She eventually whispered breaking the silence. Chloe was startled at first but she calmed when she saw Beca, warm and happy.

"Hello," Chloe replies, her voice sounding ragged as if she's been crying. But there's no evidence on her face that says she was. There's one thing that hasn't changed about Chloe and that's her eyes, it's still the innocent type of blue that's bright and shining. "I just told the Bellas."

Beca was taken aback at first and she suddenly found it hard to swallow the lump in her throat. "Really? Wait… how?"

"Sent it to the Bellas group chat," Chloe shrugged, pressing the circle button on her iPhone. "It probably got like mistakes and stuff but I can't be bothered to check. I don't think I could ever look at it again," she mumbles out, sounding tired.

Chloe turns her body and creates some seating space next to her. She reached out for Beca and patted to spot next to her. Beca grabbed her hand and they linked their fingers together, she looked out the window overlooking all the other buildings.

They mould into each other, Chloe moving back to her previous space that's now filled with Beca. They haven't really had contact with each other since the appointment, and maybe they're just scared. Scared that it's all moving too fast for their own comfort.

"Say something," Chloe said quietly. Beca holds back a giggle as Chloe's voice echoes throughout her chest. Chloe's on Beca's lap playing with her fingers, and she looked up at her with a tired face. Like she's trying to hold on for just a bit longer. "Please, I want you to say something,"

Beca's heart falls a little and she looks back towards Chloe. "What do you want me to say?"

"Just talk." Chloe says vaguely, putting Beca's hands over her eyes. Almost as if she wants Beca to do everything existing there is to do for her.

"Umm…" Beca mumbles slowly removing her hand from Chloe's face. She looks at her blue eyes, trying to memorize every part of her before the inevitable happens. She wants to explore the endless possibilities there is that is Chloe Beale.

"I don't know. Tell me a story? Read me a book? Just, I don't want you to stop talking," Chloe said, as she lifted up her body and rested her head on the armrest. There's a hint of happiness and hope in her eyes, and maybe it's just Beca looking into them too much.

"Hmm, okay… I do have quite a few stories up my sleeve," Beca says after Chloe's done moving. She smirks and Chloe smiles as they watched each other expectantly.

"Try me," Chloe says quietly, as her eyes began to light up with hope again, and now Beca's sure it is.

"Okay so," Beca hums trying to think of an opening line. She took in Chloe's hand and began to trace patterns over it as she thought about her story. Once she finally thought of one, she takes a breath so she could deliver it in the best way to Chloe as possible. Her eyes pass the window and she begins to see streaks of golden yellow and orange illuminating into the dark night sky.

"It was a Saturday morning." Beca starts and she smiles when Chloe began to close her eyes in imagination. "I woke up because I had a nightmare. I was sweating really hard and gasping. At first I couldn't remember the dream and then it all came back to me in a split second. In my dream, everything was the same except…" Beca shook her head. "We still won the Bellas finals my freshman year, Aubrey still hated me, we still won worlds, I still moved to LA. But there was like a huge gap missing. At one point, it was all white and I was there running. Desperately to find what was missing. And I couldn't."

She looked back and forth between the window and Chloe. Chloe's face had a hint of wonder, probably questioning where this was going. But she can tell that Chloe's enjoying it.

"And I remembered that I felt so fucking scared. Like it was dark and the transition from a white, bright dream to a dark and creepy room felt like you were still in a dream. There were voices from my mind telling me to find it. And it was all fucking scary. Then my phone chimed and it was a message from you telling me good morning, and if we're still going to meet up for coffee later in the day. I picked up the phone, smiling, and it took me a moment to realize. But in my dream, you were missing. I replayed the last 7-8 years of my life, without you and it was a horrible experience."

Chloe was still staring at Beca, but there's a hint of pity and wonder in her face. Her eyes are beginning to dilate like she's trying to imagine that day. And Beca quickly remembers that she didn't get it.

"I don't think I knew that time, but that's when I knew I love you."

And then Chloe's face expression changes as there's redness creeping up on her cheeks now. Her eyes are showing a fond, happy expression that hadn't transferred to her whole face yet.

Beca looks towards the window and stared off into the sunrise. She swallows hard and continues in a more reserved manner, "You know I changed since then?"

There's a sharp intake of breath from Chloe, but she can't bring herself to look at her again until after she says this.

"You make me know what love feels like. It's the feeling that you can't possible lose that person in your life. And I never thought I'd be one to fall in a real love, you know? And here you are breaking all my walls, barging into my life and shower stalls. You changed me for the better," Beca's voice and throat starts to tremble a little as she felt a single tear run across her face.

"You came into my life and you had no real reason to be there, but you just did anyway. And I don't know why it took me, fucking 7 years to see that all I needed was right beside me, literally. So just, thank you. Thank you for being with me. And caring. And for giving me the gift of you."

And she didn't realise that she's probably gripping Chloe's hand too hard, maybe in an attempt for her body to say that she's still here. She almost lets go, almost, "So yea," She sniffled. "There's my story," Beca wiped her other hand over her eyes to rid the welled up tears.

She looks at Chloe and there she was looking at Beca in a face that she couldn't quite decipher. She wonders if there's anything else to say, but she figured to stay quiet for a while. And let Chloe lead on.

"I'm sorry." Chloe says. Beca was about to ask why, but Chloe beat her to it. "I'm so sorry that I'm taking it away from you." And Beca looks at her face intensively now and all that's there is sadness and fear.

Beca took in a deep breath before moving closer to Chloe. She looked towards her eyes, and moves so close that their breaths are mixing together. And her voice is suddenly full of desperation and hoarse. "Hey. You are not taking anything away from me, you've given me so many things and more okay? I love you. And I'll be a better person because of it."

Chloe pressed her head forward a little, capturing Beca's mouth with a kiss. And Beca rested her hands on Chloe's shoulder. She moves back a little and whispers, "I love you." Into the tiny space between them and she needs to know severely that Chloe knows and realizes that.

She pulls back now and Chloe's closed her eyes again. There's a faint blush on her cheeks as the sun glows against her face. And Beca thinks that she's painstakingly beautiful.

Beca's still collecting the memories and the details. Trying to fit all of Chloe into her head, and never forgetting it. Because now she's on a schedule, there's a wicked countdown that she's trying so hard to hide the ticking noise in the back of her head. She places her cold hand into Chloe's neck and kiss her on the temple, because that's all she can do for Chloe right now.

A/N: hides in a corner I'm so sorrryyyyyy this came out so late. T^T I won't lie to you, I've been stressed a lot lately and stuff so yea. I hope you enjoyed the long-ish chapter? If it weren't for AleKuroba I think this chapter wouldn't have ever been done until like October or something. Uhm tell me if you have suggestions and such cuz I desperately need them. And I think about 5 or so more chapters, I'm bringing this story to a close. I'm trying to decide to make two endings, one where Chloe dies and one where she lives or just pick one. What do you guys think? Do you want two endings or just one sad/happy ending? I'll pick the one that has most suggestions. Tell me in the review thing or PM or inbox or whatever lol. Can you tell I'm tired? XD Anyways if you follow my other story Not So Secretive, I'll post a new chapter soon-ish. Maybe when I have holiday next week, okay so yeap. That's all and as always. Thoughts? Feelings? Constructive Criticism? LEAVE A SUGGESTION. Put them all in the review thing below. Or in my tumblr, it's the same thing as my username.

BtotheAtotheNtotheG: Aww thank you thank you! You're very kind. :)

beyonce'sthinggap: omg.

feistykleinemaus: Hahah hope you enjoyed this chapter lol :P Sorry it took so long.

Guest: Aww thanks dude. I hope this chapter made you cry harder. XD

CapAmerica21: Aww thanksssss! You're amazing :)

xcombixgirlx: Haha thanks so much for caring. I felt like getting a huge load off my chest because I shared those things with you haha. Hope you enjoyed the chapter :) Have a good life!

Chubby: Aww thank youuu :) Suggest what should I do then. :P

MissCuddless: I may or may not be crying too.

Somebody: Hahah thank you thank you! :) Hope you're having a great life. Keep in touch with your inner swivel chair and yea. Hope you enjoyed the chapterrr! :D

AleKuroba: Dude. I finally updated. Be proud of me and come yell at me at hangouts. Hope I didn't ruin your idea too much :P

philosoz: I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG T^T I promise it won't be that long before I update again okayy?

Guess: Aww thank you so much! You're so kind and fantastic. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! :)