Here is the new chapter! It's one I'm very proud of, especially for thebeginning~!

Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed! :D

AnimeViolinist001 : She will grow, don't worry. Though some STUFF will keep her from doing so too fast... No team stuff in this chapter, but family instead! ;D

marimendozadarling : From wiki: "Examples of implosion include a submarine being crushed from the outside by the hydrostatic pressure of the surrounding water, and the collapse of a massive star under its own gravitational pressure." SO, stars CAN implode. But it can depend on its size and chemical composition, it can also explode or just... turn off. When a star implodes, it creates a black hole I think. There are some pretty videos on itnernet! ;)

PLAYLIST'S SONG: Cosmic Love – Florence & the Machine

FANFICTION

HAIKYUU! : ALIENS

CHAPTER XIV : Soul-Devouring Dream

"Strange, I thought, how you can be living your dreams and your nightmares at the very same time."

― Ransom Riggs, Hollow City

"He told himself he would pretend nothing was wrong, but he couldn't fool himself. He could forgive himself for having done something wrong, even something so immoral, so reckless."

― Erin O'Riordan, Cut

"I want to apologize to myself for constantly submerging in a state of panic, for allowing myself to self-destruct for so many years. There is a person inside of me who deserves kindness."

— Brianna Pastor

"I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unnerving ease. It begins in your mind, always… So you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you."

― Yann Martel, Life of Pi

"Don't let the fear of failure keep you away from your Destiny."

― Jeanette Coron

"There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure."

― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

"The sun never has an inferiority complex. It shines the same whether above or below."

― Curtis Tyrone Jones

"The feeling of resentment and inferiority is natural and nothing much can be done about it. What can be done is to think, where these feelings will lead you? If you want to be a winner in life, if you want to reach the top, then make sure that these feelings of resentment and inferiority lead you to nothing else but aspiration!"

― Abhishek Ratna, No Parking. No Halt. Success Non Stop!

"Scared is what you're feeling. Brave is what you're doing."

― Emma Donoghue, Room

"I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often I should be used to them by now. I'm not. No one ever really gets used to nightmares."

― Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

― Eleanor Roosevelt

Stay away from me.

His voice was hard and cold as he stared with wide, frightened eyes at Tobio, his eyes reddened like a demon. Ushijima Wakatoshi looked down at him with the same red eyes. They were the monsters about to destroy his dream, one would surpass him, the other would crush him.

Stay away from me!

He needed to train, harder and harder. His setting skills were being sharpened as he got to know his teammates better and better, knowing them so well like he had done in Kitagawa Daiichi. His serve needed improvement – more strength, more accuracy. So he trained, everyday, harder and harder and harder…

The first Inter-High arrived, going all the way to the semi-finals but Shiratorizawa, and Ushijima Wakatoshi, ended their hopes. His demonic red eyes seemed to burn through Tooru's soul and rip away his dreams from his hands.

Stay away from me!

He trained harder and harder. Bitter, angry, desperate. His knee felt a little strange, like it couldn't keep up with the rest of his body. But Tooru decided to ignore it – it just needed some more stretching. It wasn't unusual with his intense training to feel his muscles pull and ache – he was just sore. Just as expected, his knee had been just sore and it quickly faded away. So he trained. Then, his knee was sore again. He stretched more and trained more. His knee was all right again, then it was sore again.

It's just sore… it's just sore… it's just sore… he kept repeating himself as his serve became sharper, more intense, more accurate – the ultimate weapon.

Then came the Spring-High and once again, Aoba Jousai was stuck at the top four, defeated by Shiratorizawa.

After the bitter, sad tears, the disappointment and anger urged Tooru to let out the steam with his serves. He was all alone in the gymnasium, everyone else was gone, to cry out their frustration in the intimacy of their homes. The weight of the loss didn't seem to have any impact on Tooru as he jumped, again and again, higher and stronger at every serve. His knee was pulling, it was a strange sensation that had become almost familiar now – usually, it'd be the moment he'd stop, to stretch and give care to his strained knee, but the too recent loss was still weighing too much on his heart. Every ball resonated like thunder in the gymnasium. Tooru was letting out grunts every time he hit the ball with the palm of his hand that now stung from the continuous impacts. He kept ignoring his knee, no matter how foolish it might be, he wasn't thinking straight. He just needed to let it out – this anger, these fears, EVERYTHING. The balls kept being out of bounds now, but it didn't matter – he just needed to hit it.

If you have to hit it, hit it until it breaks.

He went for another jump, another hard slam against the ball that sent it at the other side of the court. The ball sounded as thunderous as all the others, but it was echoed with a broken voice, screaming out raw pain.

Tooru had landed badly, or perhaps his knee couldn't handle it anymore, he couldn't tell, but the pain had been so sudden, so violent that he fell on the ground with a shout. His vision went white and when he opened his eyes, blurry from tears – frustration from the loss? Pain from his knee? – he saw white and black dots flashing. Probably the pain and panic. He was shaking, sweating, but once again, he couldn't tell if it was the shock of the loss still rushing through his body, or if it was the after-effects of his injured knee shooting through his soul.

Unable to breath out of fear of what had just happened, what it meant, he tried to move but this slightest move had him cry out in pain again. His hands resting on the floor, trying to stand up, unable to move, he cried big, ugly tears. His nails were scratching against the floor. The pain was shooting through his entire leg. His voice was raw and broken from constantly screaming – but it wasn't out of physical pain anymore. It was the pain of knowing that, with his knee injured, his dreams had shattered along with it.

"Oikawa!"

Iwaizumi ran to him when he saw his best friend shattered on the floor, screaming and crying and when he saw the red, swollen knee, it didn't take him long to figure out what had happened.

"What have you done, you dumbass?!" He shouted, trying to help him up but it only made Oikawa scream more.

Trembling, unsure of what to do, Iwaizumi let him on the floor, breathing hard. He called the coach who should have been home by then, and he immediately came over and called the hospital. Oikawa's parents were called too. And Iwaizumi waited with them and coach as all the tests were being made on Oikawa's leg to figure out what had happened to him.

"Iwaizumi, do you know when it started? Do you know why he hid from us that his knee was hurting?" Coach Irihata asked, pacing back and forth – he should have been more careful, he should have kept a closer attention to Oikawa when he had noticed he was the overworking-type. It was his responsibility as coach…!

"He didn't tell me anything…" Iwaizumi answered in a low voice, as shaken as everyone was, perhaps more because he was the one Oikawa always said everything to.

Why hadn't he trust his best friend…? Why did he let it come to this? Why had he been so reckless? Why Iwaizumi hadn't noticed?

The doctors finally came out of the room where Oikawa was.

ACL injury. The knee ligaments were torn. Oikawa had been lucky, it wasn't completely torn and wouldn't need surgery. Not yet, at least. If he was careful from now on, it'd just be a weak knee but nothing that would damage his possible career. Months of crutches and physical therapy would follow. He was lucky.

Oikawa Tooru didn't feel lucky when, that night, he just sobbed in his bed, unable to sleep despite the numbing medicine. The pain should be enough to make him black out, but he wouldn't let his mind rest. His parents and coach were all relieved, Iwaizumi hadn't said much but he knew he'd be asked questions later.

Why didn't you trust me. Why didn't you say anything. Why did you hide it. Why did you let it get worse until you'd get an ACL injury. Don't you know how to properly stretch and be careful, you dumbass. Don't you know how important it is for an athlete to preserve his health. What about your dreams.

But in the middle night, after he felt like his dream was broken for good, Tooru couldn't care about any of that. All he could think of were the red eyes of Ushijima and Tobio – if only they hadn't existed, if only they hadn't made him feel insecure and scared to the point of overworking himself, if only… if only he hadn't been reckless just that one night. If only, if only, if only, if only, if only, IF ONLY!

The months that followed, despite his usual smile and reassurances to everyone and all the fangirls that came to him as he walked around the halls in crutches, earning sympathetic, disgusting glances from everyone. All these months of physical therapy were as anguishing as terrorizing. It hurt, everyday. Sometimes so much he couldn't even get up. Sometimes the pain was so intense he'd get a fever. Sometimes the pain killers were so much he could only sleep through it all. Sometimes he'd feel sick. Every night he had nightmares. About Ushijima and Tobio surpassing him, his dream being shattered, Iwaizumi leaving him behind and becoming the new Ace of the National team without even glancing over his shoulder at his broken friend. Nightmares about his own recklessness. He could see himself in a broken mirror, an angry, terrifying reflection of himself shouting at himself.

Stay away from me!

He sometimes wondered if that was the vision Tobio-chan had had to deal with when he had almost slapped him. Did he have nightmares about Tooru hitting him? Did he feel as much fear form his senpai as Tooru did from his kouhai, for different reasons? Tooru would feel guilty about it, but then his heart would harden and feel like breaking all over again. Sometimes he wondered if that was the raw, anguish expression that Ushiwaka had faced when Tooru had attacked him in the Youth training camp. It'd explain the lack of reaction, it was terrifying. Tooru didn't feel much guilt about Ushiwaka though.

Tooru was sitting on a bench, he recognized the Junior team's changing-room. He was looking down at his injured knee, it was slightly red and swollen, like it had been occasionally the last two weeks. He was holding his jersey, the red jersey with white and black details. The number fourteen. It had the Japanese flag. Smiling widely, he raised the jersey to look at it better, he felt such pride that his heart felt like it was about to explode. He intended to hug the jersey to his chest but it burst into ashes, disappearing between his hands. It was sparkling like stars in the night sky – his dream was going to dust, leaving nothing but the sparkly remnants of what had once pushed him to do more, more, so much more.

"No… no, no, no! No! Please!" He shouted, trying to gather the golden dust into his hands.

He could feel his knee hurting and he knew it was the reason why his dream was gone. He felt tears burning his eyes, a sob about to strangle him. He stood up to run, for help, comfort, away from his own misery, but he felt like falling down a cliff. It lasted only the time for one missed heartbeat, then he was standing again, but leaning over crutches. The guilt was so heavy he could barely stand, his back bending over as he stood shakily with the weak balance the crutches were giving him.

But it wasn't enough, he wasn't strong enough and the guilt was too much. The crutches fell under him – but then, he realised it wasn't his own strength that wasn't enough. The crutches had turned into two snakes, one had Tobio's face, the other had Ushiwaka's face. Both had glowing red eyes.

Scared and panicked, Tooru tried to crawl away from the snakes.

"Stay away from me! Stay away from me!" He exclaimed, still trying to get away from the demons.

But they were faster and stronger, they surrounded him, holding him down and slowly strangling him. They were crushing him and his body and he was gasping for air, reaching up for something, anything.

Then he looked down and the snakes were replaced by shackles around his hands and legs, holding him down. He still felt like suffocating. His inferiority complex and his fear of failure. The two snakes had poisoned his body with these fears, holding him down from evolving, from getting better, and breaking his body.

"Stay away from me…!"

He thought back on all his years at Aoba Jousai, all the progress he had made despite the months wasted because of his knee. He was too proud to give up, he wouldn't give up! Never! He reached up again, and broke the shackles.

"Oikawa-san, teach me how to serve!"

"Stay away from me!" He shouted, turning around to slap the vicious snake away from him.

What his hand hit was a mirror that shattered. The sound of broken glass falling at his feet resonated, piercing his heart. Then Tooru was face-to-face with himself. The worst, ugly part of himself. Each piece of the shattered mirror showed him a different reflection – the sad one, the guilty one, the reckless one, the lonely one… the biggest reflection was staring right into his eyes. His eyes were glowing red. His expression was raw anger and it was terrifying. His lips curled open, into a vicious smile, or a pained grimace.

Stay away from me! It said, in his own voice, cold and angry and sending shivers of terror down Tooru's spine.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" He shouted, sending his fists into the broken mirror, into his own broken self.

Tooru jumped into his bed, gasping and shivering from cold sweat. Pain shot through his leg and he fell back into the bed, moaning and blinking the tears away. He was shaking and he could still feel the numbing pain from his leg. He could still feel the intense pain into his chest – because he was hyperventilating and because his heart was beating way too fast.

"Oikawa-kun!"

He didn't hear the voice, not really. It sounded far away, drowned under his fears and panic, like a dream he couldn't reach.

He kept having his panic attack, clawing on his sheets for something to hold onto. The visions of his nightmares were still haunting him, he could still see himself, distorted into someone terrifying. He could still hear his screaming voice, echoed with his raspy, panicked breathing.

"Oikawa-kun! Oikawa! Wake up, it was just a nightmare, it's over! Wake up! TOORU!"

Cold hands grabbed his shoulders and the sharp cry of his name shook him. He startled and tried to get away, whining when the pain kept shooting through his leg and body. He was still shaking and breathing hard but arms held him up, and a sweet voice whispered comforting words to him. He saw green eyes, wide in panic for him but seeing these green eyes… it was more comfort and reassurance than he could have hoped for. He had someone with him, to hold him up, to comfort him, that was enough, that was enough…

Too feverish and still shaken from his nightmare, Tooru didn't realise what he was doing as he rolled over and grabbed Shiori for comfort. She tried to hold him up but he sobbed, the sound breaking her heart. Then he fell into her laps and hid his face there, crying, his body shaken by his sobs. Her heart was beating hard, resonating in her entire body as she watched him, shaken by his intense reactions…

"I-it's okay… I'm here… it was just a nightmare… Tooru…" She whispered, caressing his hair soothingly.

It took a few minutes for him to cry, but then the heavy moves of his chest calmed down. She realised he had fallen back asleep and she was tempted to wake him up, afraid he'd have another nightmare but… he looked peaceful, despite the still-wet traces of tears on his face… She didn't have the heart to move and wake him, so she remained kneeling on the floor as he slept with his head over her laps, her fingers entwined in his hair.

When Tooru woke up, feeing groggy from his bad sleep and nightmare, still feverish, he didn't realise right away where he was or whom he was cuddled on.

"Are you feeling better?"

He froze. That sweet voice, that sent sunshine warmth and honey-taste blood through his body…

Slowly, he looked up and saw Shiori smiling down to him.

"GAAAAH!"

Tooru jumped away, crying out in panic – not from his nightmare, but from the mere shock of seeing the woman he might like more than he should nursing him.

"Shi-shi-shi-S-sasaki-san!" He exclaimed, falling backwards.

Pain shot through his leg and it made him wince. He held himself up on his futon, breathing hard and realizing that he, firstly, was feeling dizzy from fever, secondly, was an absolute mess.

"Easy! You have a fever! Don't act too recklessly!" She said, grabbing his arm to help him sit up properly without hurting his knee.

"A-arhem, um… w-what are you doing here…? What's going on?" He asked, looking around to be certain he was in his bedroom and not somewhere else.

"You had a fever this morning, Kiku-chan called me to watch over you. She had classes and part-time work… don't you remember this morning?" She asked, tilting her head on a side in concern.

"I… not really…" He answered, passing a hand over his face.

He was sweaty, he could feel his complexion being pale and unhealthy. He was still trembling and it was hard remaining focused on the conversation. He had the vague memory of Kiku-chan and Shiori in the morning, but it could as well have been his imagination.

"And… after you first woke up?" She asked in a tight voice.

He glanced at her, eyes wide. He remembered his nightmare now that he was more awake, he still felt the grogginess from it numbing his limbs and brain. He knew he had a tendency of panicking when waking up from such nightmares – he hoped he hadn't acted like that…

"You had a panic attack and… you cried… are you all right?" She asked, her hand going on top of his to squeeze it reassuringly.

He lowered his head, flashes of his nightmare darkening his gaze. His heart was beating hollowly in his chest and even if the sensation was worse with his dizziness and fever, he knew it was the ghost that was his nightmare still haunting him.

"I'm sorry I was a bother for you during this pathetic moment," he said in a hard voice, despite himself.

"You don't have to apologize, you weren't a bother and… it wasn't pathetic…" She answered, squeezing lightly his hand.

His heart missed a beat, feeling much more alive than ever since he had woken up. He glanced hesitantly at Shiori, getting lost in her beautiful green eyes, filled with worry and sympathy for him. She wasn't pitying him, she was supporting him… It was so different from the way others have ever looked at him when he was hurt because of his knee.

Instinctively, without quite realizing it, he turned his hand around, his fingers caressing hers. They were about to entwine their fingers together when Shiori realized what they were doing and moved her hand. She didn't take her hand away from his, worried he needed it for moral support like he had needed to rest on her laps to calm down… but it was enough for Tooru to pull his hand away.

"Y-you need to take your medicine… if you feel better, I could prepare something to eat. Anything you wish in particular?" She asked, starting to get up.

He shook lightly his head before pulling off his covers to stand up, and froze. He pulled his covers back over him, suddenly very much aware of his alien patterned pyjama pants – thankfully his shirt was grey with a single alien on the chest so it was more discreet. There was still the chance that Shiori hadn't noticed. How lame…

"What is it?" She asked, turning around when she sensed his moment of freezing, "Do you need help standing up?"

"No! I'm just… I think I'm going to change clothes so… go ahead…" He said, cursing his cheeks for blushing.

"Okay…"

She left him alone and despite the struggle because of his knee, he managed to change into more suitable clothes that didn't make him look like an overgrown child and space fanboy. He wanted to believe that Shiori didn't mind his choice of night clothes, but he didn't want to take any risk. Especially after appearing with a fever, face pale and having a panic attack because of a nightmare in front of her. How LAME…

He was welcomed in the living-room with the great scent of food. His stomach grumbled and he realized that fever or not, tight throat from his nightmare or not, butterflies in his stomach because of Shiori's presence or not… he was famished.

She was preparing some miso soup and rice, accompanied of fish – nothing extravagant but she was probably thinking of giving him food that wouldn't make his fever worse. She heard him coming – he wasn't exactly discreet with his crutches and occasional grunts or whines – and turned around.

"I preferred the aliens pyjamas," she remarked with a little smile.

Tooru froze, blushing in embarrassment – she had noticed! She had noticed his aliens pyjama! How lam– she preferred that one. Would it be weird to get changed again?

"It's almost ready, you can sit at the table. There are pain-killers and medicine but… um, I'm not sure which you can take or not depending on how many you are allowed a day… do you remember how many pain killers you had already?" She asked, bringing the food to the table where the plates were already waiting for them.

"I… um, if I have a fever it's because I already took too many… my knee doesn't really hurt though, so it's okay…" He answered, pouting.

She brought the last dishes but before she sat she put her hand against his forehead. He froze, eyes widening as she checked his fever.

"It's lower than before… good. I was really worried."

She sighed in relief and smiled, and as goofy as it was, it brought a smile on his face.

They started eating and just like the other day, they talked so easily it felt like they had known each other their whole lives. Tooru feeling much better, and not wanting to waste a single second he could spend with Shiori at his side, they sat in the couch, still talking – but this time, commenting a few things he had read and watched lately, which led to Shiori talking about her last job she had finished a few days before.

"I'm sorry you have to stay with me all day when it's your week to rest…" He said apologetically when she added that she'll have another drama filming next week.

"It's not a problem. I was free and it's not really a rest week when I have to prepare for the next role, anyway!" She answered with a smile.

It didn't help him feel any better and once again, the idea that she saw him in such a pathetic way such as his post-nightmare state was worrying him…

"I'm sorry for the whole… nightmare thing… I haven't had one in a long time but… I mean, it's fine! I just hope you didn't have to… that you didn't… um…"

"Oikawa-kun, it's okay…" She said, putting a hand on his shoulder when she noticed him stammering worryingly, "I… I don't judge you for having a nightmare. It happens to everyone. A-and… I definitely don't judge you for having a panic attack afterwards…"

"You don't think me pathetic for reacting like a child for a nightmare?" He huffed, but he looked so downhearted her heart squeezed painfully.

"If you're pathetic for having a panic attack after a nightmare, then I'm no better." She said, voice hardening a little.

He glanced up at her, surprised by her tone and her words.

"Do you…"

His voice trailed off as Shiori sighed, leaning against the back of the couch, gaze saddening.

"I don't mean to pry…" He quickly added.

"I have nightmares. Like everyone. And every once in a while, if it's triggered, I have these horrifying, terrorizing nightmares that leave me in a state of absolute panic when I wake up… panic attacks… I'm used to them now… but no matter how many years go by… I can't get used to the fear…" Shiori explained in a low voice.

He wanted to ask her what had happened, what fear it was all about, but he didn't dare. She must have sensed his confused thoughts, or maybe she had intended to talk about it because she turned to him slowly. Shiori pulled at the necklace around her neck and took it off, caressing the golden medallion.

"It's the necklace I had taken off the other day, the one you had panicked when you didn't find it around your neck." He remembered.

Shiori nodded wordlessly before pressing a little button on the side. The medallion opened, showing two pictures. She got closer to him and he tried not to let his suddenly fast heartbeat get the best of him. One picture showed a woman, the other a man, both were smiling brightly.

"It's my parents," she said.

Tooru blinked before realizing that she did look like them. He couldn't help but smile.

"She's beautiful, like you. But you have your father's nose and smile."

"She was…" She corrected with a sad smile.

His own smile wavered. He had never thought about her family before. He hadn't bothered to ask either.

Before he could ask any question, or say anything, Shiori glanced up at him very quickly before starting to explain, avoiding his gaze:

"According to my aunt and grandmother, my mother… she was the reckless type in her youth. I don't know what she was doing exactly because it's a taboo topic in the family, but when she fell in love with my father, a shrine priest, my grandmother refused to let them be together or my mother wouldn't be part of the family anymore. My mother decided that she loved my father more than her family so she ran away for him. They got married… and had me. I was still seeing my aunt and cousin every once in a while, because only my grandmother was too stubborn to go back on her words…"

She glanced at the picture of her parents, taken when they were younger. Then, she continued:

"I was… five years-old, I think… I don't remember very well but… my mother and I were in the car. She was driving us back home I suppose… It was raining very hard that day, it was a summer storm and I was… I was already scared of thunderstorms back then. She was trying to comfort me and…"

She closed the medallion, shutting away the pictures of her parents, gaze lost in the memories.

"She saw the other car too late, she didn't have time to brake because of the rain…"

Tooru stared at Shiori, heart heavy to imagine what it must have been like for such a small girl to go through such a traumatizing experience… He imagined she must also be feeling guilty, even though it wasn't her fault.

"I lost my mom, and I got a pretty souvenir of that day in the form of a scar and a life-long traumatism." She concluded, pushing away the bangs around her face.

He had never noticed because she always had her bangs, but it hid a large scar along her temple, all the way to the extremity of her eyebrow.

"So I don't find you pathetic for having nightmares and panicking because of it…" She added, glancing very quickly at Tooru.

Her eyes were dry. He would have expected tears but she seemed… it wasn't confidence. It wasn't a mask. It was just a hardened heart. She had opened up, but her heart remained close. He couldn't blame her for that…

Without a word, Tooru turned towards her and surrounded her in his arms. She gasped in surprise, eyes widening as he pulled her against his chest. Even if they were so close, even if they were touching each other so tightly, so intimately, their hearts weren't speeding up. Their hearts were beating to a steady, comforting rhythm.

"You don't have to hide your emotions to me… Shiori…" He murmured.

Her heart missed a beat, tears filling her eyes.

His voice was so close, so warm and…

The few times she had talked about this experience… it had been Shouhei… it had been Satori… both had apologized and hugged her for comfort but it had felt like it was the necessary process expected of them after such a story. Tooru's hug… Tooru's words… he wasn't feeling sorry or pitying her and that was more than she ever received… His hug didn't come out of awkwardness, it was to support her… She hadn't realized how much she was holding back, how hurt she still was, until he had said these words and she had felt her eyes fill with burning tears…

Who had ever seen through her soul so easily? Who had ever touched her heart so softly? Who had ever given her so much warmth and comfort?

She knew the answer, but she refused to admit it, overwhelmed by her grief, guilt and sadness… She hid her face in his shoulder and under the scent of sweat, she could smell the almost-faded scent of his shampoo, and him. His scent, it smelled like… home…

"I miss her…" She murmured in a broken voice, a sob strangling her.

"It's okay, you're not alone… and you can cry as much as you want… I won't judge." He whispered, absentmindedly kissing the side of her head, right where her scar started.

The words she had needed to say and had said for the first time in her life, the words she had needed to hear and had heard for the first time in her life, it was all it took for Shiori to finally let it out. Everything she had bottled up for years, and years of trauma, guilt and sadness. It was overwhelming and she choked, she cried out for her mother, she grabbed him desperately, almost ripped off his shirt, but he didn't stop hugging her and whispering comforting words…

Once she had let out everything, she fell asleep on his laps, Tooru letting his fingers caress her hair. She still had wet traces of tears on her cheeks, her eyes were still red… but she looked peaceful and he couldn't help but smile at the sight…

When Shiori woke up, not long after, she didn't recall where she was. She just felt comfortable and instinctively tried to hug closer the warm pillow she was sleeping on. It was a heavy pillow… She blinked her eyes open and saw that she wasn't hugging a pillow but a leg. She was confused at first then she gasped, sitting up so suddenly she almost fell over.

"Wah! Are you okay?" Oikawa asked, looking up from his magazine when she moved so suddenly.

Trying to balance herself, she almost fell off the couch but finally managed to sit without risking any embarrassing fall. She wasn't usually clumsy so why was she unable to control her body when Tooru was around?

"I'm perfectly fine," she answered with a stubborn look on her face, almost reminding of Wakatoshi's constant stern expression.

He stared at her, not having expected such a reaction. It was endearing though… He couldn't help but chuckle, but it wasn't to laugh at her, and it sounded a lot purer than usual. It wasn't a made-up chuckle for his fangirls or because the situation called for it – he was genuinely amused.

Shiori couldn't help but chuckle as well at her own embarrassment, glad he wasn't taking her for a complete klutz.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep on you…" She murmured.

"It's nothing, especially after I fell asleep on you…" He answered sheepishly.

They stared at each other for a short moment but after realizing what he was doing, Tooru looked away and grabbed his crutches.

"I have something to show you, stay here a minute," he said, standing up.

She stood up as well to help him but he waved her off with a smile and hopped towards his bedroom. She didn't dare follow him in the intimacy of his bedroom – even if she's been there already, it was different when Tooru was in the same room, and awake. To occupy herself, Shiori started gathering whatever could be cleaned up. And because she couldn't help herself, she ended up near the book shelf, reading the titles of the books and magazines gathered there. Without surprise, a lot about volleyball, sports, space, aliens or conspiracy theories… Some were novels and she recognized a few titles because she had read them, others she only knew the titles and was suddenly curious. Her gaze was attracted to a photograph and she blinked, looking closely at the family shown there. There was Tooru, looking a little younger, perhaps middle-school or beginning of high-school? He was smiling with his hands up, displaying victory signs, the same pose as two older people, a young woman and a young man, who looked similar enough for Shiori to understand they were siblings. And the two older-looking people behind must have been their parents. Everyone had the handsome gene in this family, it seemed…

Before she looked for more similarities between Tooru and his family, the entrance door opened.

"I'm here, Toooooru~!" A chirpy, feminine voice joyfully exclaimed.

Shiori froze, suddenly face-to-face with a young woman, just as shocked as she was. She was tall and very pretty, with short brown hair and brown eyes.

They stared at each other, both feeling awkward.

Tooru? Who is that? Could it be… Shiori thought, feeling like a stranger when this woman whose identity she didn't know but was very pretty was calling Tooru by his first-name and seemed so familiar with him and this place…

"Oh my~!" The young woman hummed, hands going to her hips, a big smile stretching over her lips – the expression seemed so familiar that Shiori felt like she was being slapped.

Who is that…?!

"Tooru didn't tell me he'd have guests~!"

The door from his bedroom suddenly opened and Tooru half-jumped, half-crawled, eyes wide in panic:

"NEE-CHAN?!" He shouted, having heard a voice and having recognized it, "What are you doing here?!"

"Nee-chan?" Shiori repeated, glancing between the two.

"Is this any way to greet your big sister who came all the way here to take care of you?" She continued, eyes a little hard and pouting – was she pretending or… was she really hurt by her little brother's reaction?

Tooru cringed, and Shiori's eyes widened even more if possible.

That was why she looked so familiar and pretty – the same brown eyes (but Tooru's were sparkier), the same brown hair, fluffing a little around her face like Tooru's… They had similar demeanour and habits. She literally was Tooru in a female version and that was disturbing Shiori in ways she hadn't expected…

She glanced at the photograph of a few years ago – the young woman had had long hair back then, which might explain why she hadn't recognized her right away.

"You should have told me your girlfriend was nursing you, I wouldn't have bothered you," Tooru's sister continued, looking around the small flat with a smile, "I really like this apartment. If only I had been so lucky back when I was still studying~!"

"She's not my girlfriend!" Tooru exclaimed so fast it was almost insulting.

Shiori glanced between the two and Tooru seemed to finally understand that introductions should be made. He glanced at her, somewhat nervously. Was it because he was introducing her to his family? Or because he was aware of that his older sister would do anything to embarrass him in front of Shiori? Probably both.

"S-Sasaki-san, this is my older sister…" He said, glancing between the two.

"Nice to meet you, Sasa-chan~! I'm Oikawa Aiko! You can call me nee-san~!" She exclaimed with a wink, taking Shiori's hands in hers.

"S-Sasaki Shiori," she answered, still blinking.

"You're so pretty~! How old are you, eh? Your skin is so smooth, and your hair looks so silky! And your eyes are magnificent!" Aiko exclaimed, not bothering respecting her private space.

She stared at Shiori for a moment then turned towards her brother:

"You have my blessing for her to be the mother of your babies, little brother."

"NEE-CHAN!" He shouted, eyes wide and face turning crimson – Shiori had a similar reaction and couldn't look at either of the Oikawa siblings.

"Don't be embarrassed~! She's pretty enough to enhance the Oikawa beauty genes."

"That's not the– what are you even doing here?! Why didn't you warn me you'd drop by?! Aren't you supposed to be at the other side of the world anyway?!" He continued, the two siblings facing each other.

"Mom called me because you got reckless again and hurt your knee, dummie!" She said in a scolding tone, flicking his forehead, which made him gasp dramatically, "She asked me to watch over you while you're incapacitated, and here I am~! I came right from the airport and didn't even pass to my place to change or take a shower, so be grateful!"

"Oh, so that's where that stinking scent is coming from."

"Watch your tongue, young man!" She exclaimed, glaring at him, "And you are the stinking one, like always. Always playing volleyball and not taking nearly enough showers or baths– your skin and hair will get oily at this rhythm!"

"Look who's talking! You need three tons of creams and make-up just to not look zombified!"

"TOORU!" She shouted, stomping her foot down.

Shiori watched their interaction, realizing that even though she considered Wakatoshi and Satori her siblings, their relationship wasn't nearly so stormy. Even if Tooru and Aiko teased and insulted each other, they obviously cared about each other a lot…

Then, Aiko whipped towards Shiori, startling her.

"Do you see how ungrateful this child is?! I practically raised him and this is how he thanks me!"

"You always left me off to the Iwaizumi instead of watching over me like mom and dad were asking you to!" Tooru exclaimed, sounding offended by her claim, "And I'm not a child! I'm eighteen years old and living on my own!"

"You'll always be my stupid baby brother," she said, smirking as she pulled at his cheek.

"Mggeeeh! Mwet go, nee-chaeen!" He whined, trying to push away her hands but he almost fell over.

Aiko laughed as he stabilised himself, then she turned back towards Shiori:

"Thank you for having watched over him. I'll take it from here, you can go home with your family and rest." She said with a smile, sounding a lot calmer and more mature than a moment ago.

"I…"

"Don't tell her to go away! It's my place! My life! I choose my caretaker!" Tooru exclaimed, bouncing between his sister and Shiori, as if trying to protect her.

"I thought you wouldn't want to bother her any longer? But… if you'd prefer that I leave the two of you while I take my most-deserved bath, it's possible~! I won't bother you, I promise~!" She said with a teasing wink.

"That's not what I meant! Wait– your bath? You're not going to stay here, are you?!"

"I'm going to put my stuff in your room so it won't get in the way," she remarked with a smile.

"You are going to WHAT now? Don't invite yourself like that!"

Without answering, Aiko went to grab her luggage that she had left at the entrance and without even looking lost or embarrassed, she went into the bedroom, apparently settling here for a while.

"…Looks like you are in good hands…" Shiori commented, an amused smile on her lips.

Tooru sighed deeply, still looking annoyed but it quickly faded away, something close to relief appearing in his eyes. Shiori smiled, knowing that despite appearances, they got along well and adored each other.

"…She's a pain most of the time, but she did take care of me when I was a kid… and when I first got injured." He said, the corner of his lips tilting up.

"It'll be like good old days, then. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"I won't bother you any longer, you should rest while you can before your next drama," he said, regretful that she was leaving so soon.

"Ah, I forgot my book in your bedroom…" She realised after looking around at her stuff.

"Oh, you can go get it back," he said.

Shiori went into his bedroom, forgetting for a moment that Aiko was there.

"Ah, sorry…" She said, when she saw the older sister.

"It's okay," she answered, without looking away from the shelf she was looking at.

Shiori took her book that was resting on the side, then glanced at the young woman. Curious, she observed more closely what she was looking at… The shelf with all of Tooru's medals and prizes gathered over the years. Right next to it, Tooru's red jersey from the National team, with the number fourteen, was hanging on the wall.

Aiko walked over to it, taking it off the wall and lifting it up, pride shining in her eyes.

"Tooru and I are very similar, you know. We both wanted to fly, that was our dream as children. I became a pilot, my dream became reality. But the difference between Tooru and I is that … it never pushed me as far as he did and sometimes it worries me, the lengths he goes to to realize his dream… Of course, I encourage him but… it's scary when he gets hurt, especially knowing how flimsy a pro athlete career can be…"

"He's definitely going to make it happen, though. I don't doubt it," Shiori said with an encouraging smile.

Aiko turned to her, slightly surprised by the confidence in her words. Then, she smiled, her eyes sparkling in a way that Shiori didn't quite understand. She put the hanger carrying the jersey back on the wall, smiling proudly when she thought of all of her little brother's accomplishments.

"I don't understand everything that's going through that head of his, I was too far away, emotionally and physically when everything that shaped him happened… But the one thing that never changed about my baby brother is his determination. As an aircraft pilot, even if I live in Tokyo, I'm rarely here so I can't watch over him. Hajime-chan isn't here either so… I can't help but worry, we all do…" She added, referring to the rest of the family.

She turned towards Shiori, putting her hands over the young girl's shoulders.

"Would you look after him for me, please? He needs someone to take care of him, or he gets out of control and doesn't function right. He's a pain like that."

Shiori felt a wave of emotions take over her – she was amused the siblings used the same terms about each other, amazed they all seemed to care so much about each other, and overwhelmed knowing that his safety and health were entrusted to her. Aiko didn't know her, but… she was trusting Shiori just because she had watched over her brother for a day…

"I-I'll do my best…" Shiri answered, not quite sure it was the right thing to do but unable to say no to such a demand – despite herself, she cared too much about Tooru to let him get hurt again.

"Good girl," Aiko smiled, letting go of Shiori and turning once again towards the shelf covered in silver medals – so much silver, so many defeats against Shiratorizawa… "My brother… he owns his dream. It devoured his soul, perhaps not always in the best way when he gets reckless like that, but at least… we know he'll success. He's already one step into realizing his dream, after all…"

"The Oikawa success gene?" Shiori suggested with an amused smile, echoing Aiko's earlier words about the 'Oikawa beauty gene'.

Aiko laughed loudly at that, before nodding cheerfully.

"You're not wrong, I guess!" She exclaimed before putting a finger over her lips, "Now, I won't tell anyone about you and Tooru until you two are ready, promise~!" She hummed.

"T-th-there's nothing going on between us! I swear!" Shiori exclaimed, but her cheeks betrayed her.

Aiko smiled in a knowing way, her eyes sparkling in devilish amusement. She was having the time of her life watching these two so obviously smitten with each other!

"I-I should go, t-thank you for watching after him… It was nice meeting you!" Shiori exclaimed, bowing down respectfully before leaving the room.

Aiko chuckled to herself, before following her more quietly – but stopping in the hallway when she saw Tooru accompanying Shiori back to the door.

"I'm sorry I can't walk you back home, please send me a message to tell me you've arrived there safely," Tooru said.

"Don't worry for me, it's still day-time. Perhaps you'd like me to bring you something sweet to eat tomorrow? Is there anything I could do for you?" She asked kindly.

"May I ask for a good luck kiss?" He asked, raising a hopeful eyebrow.

Shiori chuckled but felt her cheeks warm up, and that realisation embarrassed her even more. She should stay away, she shouldn't play his games but… the look in his eyes. As if he knew she would wave it off with a smile. He was already disappointed, she could see it and it broke her heart. She couldn't help herself, like always with Oikawa Tooru, her soul wasn't hers anymore and she couldn't control her body.

She leaned up, resting a hand on his shoulder and left a quick peck on his cheek. It surprised him enough that he startled, eyes widening as he looked down at her, going back on the back of her heels.

"A get well kiss, instead?" She said with a bright smile.

Instead of answering, Tooru showed a huge, goofy smile and before she could make another mistake, Shiori turned around to leave. As soon as she was back to him, her smile turned just as big and just as goofy, her fingers brushing her lips. Meanwhile, Tooru watched her leave with an enamoured look on his face, his fingers coming up to his cheek and caressing it gently…

Aiko discreetly skipped next to him, glanced at where Shiori was and when she was out of view, she turned her head towards her brother with a huge, teasing smile. Tooru gasped, blushing, instinctively stepping away and holding up a crutch as if he was pointing a finger at her.

"GEH! NOT a word!" He exclaimed, quickly whipping around and going back into his apartment, grumbling about how annoying and embarrassing his sister was.

This chapter was supposed to have a different title bu then I wrote the lines "He owns his dream. it devours his soul." and I loved it so much I needed to use it for the title~!

The whole nightmare and how his knee got hurt, his injury etc. are just my headcanons. We don't know from the canon events how, or when ti happened. As for the Oikawa siblings - we know Tooru has a nephew called Oikawa, so probbaly an older brother but Furudate sort of said he had ann older sister so... I just mixed both and he has two older siblings. I imagine them to have a few years apart like 4-5 years between each every time, which is why Tooru grew up closer to Iwa-chan than his siblins (not that he isn't close tot hem) because his siblings were much older. Beauty and success gene are definitely an Oikawa family trait.

I hope you liked it~!

Yours Truly,

May