Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Not really a continuation of the last chapter, as this is RED instead of BLU. As you can see when you read this, my Valentine's Day view isn't so much BOYFRIENDS or GIRLFRIENDS but is instead a day to show love in any form. So you'll see that while the men don't have girls to make out with, their ways of coping make them do something OTHER than wallow in self pity.

So yes, I hope you enjoy the story!

READ ON!

---

RED's Pyro trotted through the compound, clutching something close to his/her chest. S/he walked along and spotted RED's Spy. He was poring over a book. "Mmph?"

"Indeed," Spy said lightly, flipping a page. "What do you want?"

"Mmphphmm," Pyro replied.

"I'm leaving the compound tonight," Spy answered, "Perhaps if I can drive into civilization, I can avoid being lonely tonight. Hmm… maybe I can bring Sniper or Soldier along for the ride…" Pyro stared at Spy shook his head and blew a plume out of his nostrils, "No, they'd only get in the way…"

Pyro shrugged as the European went off on a quiet tangent that s/he couldn't understand. S/he turned and left to find someone else, still clutching the package close to his/her chest. S/he soon found his/herself in the kitchen, where RED's Scout and Soldier were procuring various ingredients for some sort of pastry, judging by the fact that Scout was holding the fifteen pound bag of sugar in his arms. "Alright, you got the eggs, and here's the sugar. Where's the milk? It needs to be whole milk. Not that gross low fat. Yuck."

"Mmph?" Pyro asked. The two men looked up at the fire lover.

"Oh, hey Pyro. I thought I'd make something special today. Soldier's helping me out." Pyro swelled with happiness. Whenever Scout made "Something Special", it usually consisted of the greatest tasting cake anyone had ever had. It was a family recipe that was given to him by his girlfriend, so making it on this day seemed appropriate.

"Mmphphmmphphph?" Pyro asked.

"Nothin' much else for me to do today," Soldier answered with a shrug. Pyro knew the real reason; if he helped Scout make the cake, he may learn how to make it for future use. It was just that good that even Soldier wanted to know what went into it.

"Well?" Scout said, looking at Pyro and brandishing a beater in his/her direction, "If you aren't helping, out! Go do something useful!"

Pyro snorted through his/her gas mask and slunk from the room. It just wasn't fair. S/he clutched the package close to his/her chest as s/he ghosted through the compound. Finally, s/he came upon two others. RED's Demoman and Heavy were gathered around various bottles of alcohol, and Pyro cocked his/her head, "Mmph? Mmph, mmphphph mmmmph."

"Ach, what do you know, lad (lassie?)!" Demoman shouted. Obviously, he was already inebriated, and he couldn't do anything quietly when he was filled with whiskey, "what else is theah ta do tadeh besides get drunk off our asses?"

"No pretty girls in base…" Heavy mourned. Pyro stared as the Russian hugged his bottles, "but it's okay. Girls always complaining. Vodka never complains… Vodka so nice…"

Pyro switched between looking at Demoman and Heavy. S/he gave them a thumbs up and told them to continue what they were doing. Demoman passed out and Heavy began to sob. The fire lover about faced and ran.

Who else was there…? Pyro snapped his/her fingers (which was difficult to do given his/her asbestos lined gloves, but s/he managed it); RED's Sniper was still there! S/he trotted off to the Sniper deck, where the Australian was fiddling with a stamp that had gotten stuck to his tongue.

"Buggerin' bloody… what is it!?" he growled when Pyro approached. S/he tried not to laugh at the scene Sniper gave, and instead offered help. Sniper would have none of it, "Piss off, ya wanker."

"Mmph…?" Pyro asked.

"Can't a guy send a letter ta his mum in peace?" Sniper howled, clawing at the stamp on his tongue, "Tastes like shit… Damnit, go away!" Pyro snorted in anger and left the Australian alone to remove the stamp. He finally got it to stop sticking, but it soon slid down his throat.

The man gave a scream of frustration that Pyro could hear all the way down the hall. S/he shrugged and headed to speak with RED's Engineer, who was found, like usual, in his workshop.

"G'day, Pyro. What can I do you for?" Engineer asked with a smile. Pyro opened his/her mouth, but stopped when s/he saw what he was working on. It was a letter similar to the one Sniper was working on, but that's not what caught Pyro's attention. On Engineer's desk was a picture of a beautiful woman, cradling a young girl in her arms.

"Mmphph mm mmph phphmm," Pyro said.

"Hah, thanks a lot, pardner," Engineer said with a smile, "Was there sumthin' you needed?"

Pyro shook his/her head, and left without a word. S/he continued to hold his/her package close to his/her chest, wondering just what to do with it. It was then that s/he passed RED's Medic's medical ward. S/he looked down at the package, wondering if the idea that came to his/her mind was really a good one. Shrugging, s/he decided that nothing ventured was nothing gained. S/he opened the door and was immediately met by the usual testy tone.

"Vee aren't even fightink at zis moment, VAT could EVER be WRONG?" Medic growled from his position hunched over some medicinal bottles. He didn't even bother to look up from them.

"Mmph," Pyro replied, hopefully destroying Medic's fears.

Medic stopped, and turned to Pyro in his swiveling stool, "Vat are you doink here, Pyro?"

"Mmph phhphphmm," was the answer.

Medic frowned and looked away, "Valentine's Day. Bah!" he scoffed angrily.

"Mmph? Phphmmphph phmm ph?"

"Of course I have no Valentine! Zilly zentimental dummkopf…ery…!" Medic cursed in German at losing his train of thought, and instead he turned to his medicines again. There was silence for a moment, and Medic waved his hand feebly in Pyro's direction. "Just go avay," he said quietly.

Pyro looked at Medic, shrugged, and placed the parcel on the desk next to the German. "Mmph phphmm?"

Medic looked at the small package, and glared at the fire wo/man, "You do realize zat ven I unleash my hoard of mutated zombiez, you are not goink to be spared zee apocalypse of man jast because of zis trite offering?"

Pyro shrugged, gave Medic a thumbs up, and left the ward.

The German glared at the back of Pyro's gas mask until s/he was gone, and he turned to the parcel. He picked it up to throw in the garbage, but something told him to pick at the brown packaging. It finally came away and there sat a small box of chocolates.

"Bah!" Medic hissed, throwing the parcel in the trash. And yet only the wrapping fell to its doom. The chocolates remained. The German glared at the chocolates, ordering them to follow; they would not.

Finally, he resigned and opened the box, taking one of the little chocolates from its wrapper. He supposed when he created the zombie apocalypse of man, he would only kill Pyro a little bit…

The End

---

Hope you enjoyed it.