Chapter Fourteen: Charcoal and Cat Soup
Klaus, Rebekah and Kol were gathered around Elijah, who was soundly sleeping behind his blankets, swaddled up like a baby. They sighed collectively, for he had been unconscious for three days.
"Do you really think he's dead, brothers?" Rebekah asked, staring at a sleeping Elijah.
"Well, he's holding on, Bekah," Klaus answered, pawing his sister's back softly.
The siblings fidgeted, for they have done nothing but stare at the unconscious penguin for days. Klaus was pacing around, and Kol shot out his tail violently at some times, for he couldn't be so still for a prolonged period of time.
"You know what? How about you two go make something for Elijah? I mean, patients are very hungry when they wake up, and seeing that you guys can't keep still, I suggest you go cook something," Rebekah suggested, sitting on the sofa.
"You're the woman! You are the one that hassss to cook sssomething," Kol protested, cooking not his specialty.
"Gender roles are quite interchangeable now, Kol. This isn't the 10th century any more," Klaus explained, padding into the kitchen, dragging the thrashing snake away.
"No! NO! I REFUSSSSE TO COOK!" NOOOOO!" Kol screamed, as he was dragged away.
The brothers entered the kitchen upstairs, and Klaus locked the door so that his brother would not forsake him. Kol sulked in a corner, keeping his form small in the edge of the kitchen. Klaus sighed exasperatedly.
"It's not that bad, Kol. Cooking is an art that helps you relive the pleasures of human life," Klaus explained nudging his brother who had turned his back against the entire kitchen.
"The pleassssure of human life? What issss human life, anyway? A lifetime'ssss worth of ssssuffering and pain and manipulation, I daresssssay," Kol retorted, twisting so that his body faced the wall and his head faced Klaus.
"Well, I'll make sure you will do the minimal work, since you hate cooking so much," Klaus offered eyes glinting with deception.
"Deception in your eyesss, brother. I'm not blind. But a challenge I will not refusse," Kol challenged, head held up high in pride.
"We will see, we will see," Klaus accepted, smirking wolfishly.
Klaus and Kol were messing up Shane's shelve of cookbooks and bickering bitterly about what they should cook Elijah. It made them quite enraged.
"We should cook the sirloin steak. A grand meal for a grand return. Fits the occasion," Klaus interjected, pawing the recipe in the book trapped his jaws.
"Elijah returning to the world of living isssss hardly grand. My pressssence isssss grander than that! We ssssshould, cook... Ah! Thissss ssssspaghetti bolognessse," Kol suggested, jabbing the page.
"Ugh! Elijah has a beak, remember? He can't eat spaghetti!" Klaus countered, flipping the book away.
"Oh right. That idiot hassss a beak. I forgot. How about... Thissss fried egg?" Kol asked, pointing at the page.
"You can't be serious," Klaus replied, disgusted by Kol's choice.
"We might assss well let him eat detergent then! Helpssss to wassssh the toxinssss out of hissss fatassss body," Kol blew up, agitated, flipping all the books in an angry swipe of his tail.
Klaus growled and got up, quickly nudging the books back into a pile. Kol was back facing the wall with a compressed body. The wolf shook his head, before slowly opening the books and reading the recipes. Ah. Fish soup. Let's just hope this ends well for us. Klaus thought, calling Kol to stop sulking against the wall.
"Fish soup, alright for you? Can't believe I asking you this, Kol," Klaus asked, pawing the book.
"In a dietary ssssensssse, not alright, but ssssseeing thissss issss for a penguin, I guesssss it will have to do,"
Klaus scoffed at the ridiculousness of this recipe choosing, going closer to the page and reading the recipes. Kol smirked at his brother, thinking of ways to make the whole thing a catastrophe. Klaus noticed this, and narrowed his eyes, not willing to be overtaken by his brother.
Usually, this spelled disaster perfectly. It's something you wouldn't want to spell correctly.
"Oh it'sssss on!" Kol hissed, twisting and turning, making a quick exit.
"Now I know how Elijah feels about watching over us," Klaus realised, running after his brother.
Reading the recipe on the cookbook, Kol decided to get the fish first. Slithering quickly into Elijah's makeshift operation room, he looked at the animals in the tanks and cages. There were no marine animals there, much less an edible fish. The snake shrugged and then pulled a random cat out of its cage and brought it out.
But the cat wasn't going to have that. Feeling it's body be restricted, it started to struggle, thrashing around. Kol rolled his eyes and tightened his body up, effectively killing the cat.
"WHERE IS HE!" Klaus bellowed, anxious to find his brother, bulldozing every box or crate in his way. If he didn't find Kol in time, it would spell disaster for Elijah's returning meal.
He skulked to the operation room, seeing a cage that seemed to be forced open, it's tag unreadable for it was torn deliberately, if Klaus was not wrong. The wolf flipped the cage with two of his paws, dashing out of the room, trying to catch his brother.
"Doo doo doo..." Kol sang, as he placed the herbs and vegetables in the boiling water, as well as the cut up cat. No one would ever know, for he had meticulously cleared any trace of fur whatsoever. He may be a snake, but he still possessed his ability to hide stuff. The snake put his tail into a spring and balanced the pot moving quickly out of the kitchen.
Klaus dashed into the kitchen, but found that Kol and the big pot was not there anymore! Klaus collapsed, mumbling a few prayers that Elijah would be alright. He slowly walked to the sofa with dread, closing his eyes.
"Here you go, Elijah. Hehehe..." Kol served, putting a fake patronizing smile. His eyes were full of glee though.
"Oh god. May the Lord deliver Kol's soup from Elijah's mouth," Klaus prayed, staring at the groggy penguin, who was lying down on some cushions.
"I know I what that patronizing face means, Kol, but Elijah's hungry, so it will have to do," Rebekah sighed, feeding Elijah the soup.
Kol's eyes widened in anticipation and glee, lips joining together thinly into a evil smile. Klaus watched in horror, laying down and covering his eyes. Rebekah gulped, knowing she could only watch as the spoon went into Elijah's open mouth.
"BLEGH! It tastes... Queer. What did you out in it?" Elijah spat, painfully swallowing the soup.
"Oh... I don't know... Ssssome cat..." Kol nonchalantly replied, pretending to look at the scales of his tail like a girl would look at her fingernails.
"Wha- WHAT! A CAT?!" Klaus shouted at the snake's face. Elijah flipped the spoon Rebekah was holding away.
"Why would you do that, brother? YOU COULD KILL ELIJAH!" Rebekah exploded, flipping the big pot of soup at the startled snake.
"Ow, my sssskin!" Kol complained, stroking his skin with his tail. The soup was still burning hot.
Elijah sighed, covering his head with the cushions so he wouldn't have to see his siblings bicker over his meals. I'm back to the world of the living and I have to deal with this. He sighed inwardly, trying to fall asleep.