A/n well this story is longer than I anticipated when I started, just a couple or three chapters at the most. But, at the end of each chapter I find I still have more to tell.

The reviews, follows and favourites are the encouragement to carry on, so Thankyou one and all.

Thankyou E. L. James for creating these characters for me to play with.

Chapter 14.

Christian and I are very quiet as I drive to my apartment; we are both lost in thought. My head is reeling with the revelations Christian has shared with me. I feel as I should have known, at least about the affair with the child abuser.

I know, I know, he wasn't a child; but he was vulnerable. I knew he had hang ups stemming from his early childhood. I knew he still had nightmares, I knew he couldn't bear to be touched. He became very good at anticipating when people were about the hug him or pat his back. He would take a step back out of their reach. The kids at school thought him stand offish and odd. Only close family members knew of his phobia and respected his space. Yes close family members, including Elena Lincoln. She knew because our mom would have told her!

Christian had learned to manage his life, took control and became one of the wealthiest and most powerful men in Washington State. But at what cost? At home he always seemed to keep himself on the outside. Oh, he joins in family gatherings dinners and so on. But he is always edgy and ready to leave; he is not comfortable in our company.

And now I see why, deep down him knew his life style; his private life style would be abhorrent to us. So abhorrent in fact that he thought we would abandon him, cast him out hate him for what he had become; through no real fault of his own.

We made ourselves comfortable, I got us a beer each and we drank thirstily. He had taken his jacket off and was sitting in an arm chair his leg crossed at the ankle on his knee. He seemed to be waiting for me to ask what ever I had on my mind, open the conversation.

"Tell me about your Dom/sub relationships has there been a lot?"

"Over the past seven years? Fifteen." he is watching me closely his mouth closed into a thin line. , his breathing is ragged, he is tense and apprehensive.

"I think I beat you there" I say wanting to lighten the atmosphere.

"I dare say, but you had ahead start on me" he grins relaxing a little. "As I told you, these sorts of relationships are based on trust, the subs trust me to take care of them and respect their hard and soft limits."

"How do you know their limits?"

"Well for me, this doesn't always apply, I, have, had contracts drawn up in an interview prior to them actually starting to sub for me. They have to sign, an NDA and agree to the rules."

"A bit like an employment contract?" I ask surprised.

"Exactly. This is a safe, sane, consensual agreement between two like mined people. Because to me that's what they were; they were there to do a job, satisfy my sexual needs." he is very cold in his explanation.

I stare at him; here was Christian Grey, the CEO.

"Did they not mean anything to you at all?"

"No. They came Friday through Sunday. There were no dates or hearts and flowers. I made sure they had a decent car, clothes, medical insurance and if they pleased me occasional gifts. Not a salary as such. Most of them had jobs or were at college, but they gave their weekends to Me." he frowns and rubs his chin.

"I know this sounds, cold, but it was all I wanted. We had a contract, initially for three months that could be extended at the end of that time, sometimes the contract ended sooner."

"Why? Couldn't they cope with your demands?" I know I sound angry but honestly his cold approach to these girls was making me feel a bit sick.

"Not necessarily. You think that as a Dom that I took advantage of their submission, but there were times when I didn't meet their expectations. At least two, found other Dom's and moved out of state, one when down to Yale to study medicine; she's qualified as a surgeon now. I helped her with her fees. Another met a guy and they got married. Others wanted "more" I was not in the market for "more". I couldn't give more Elliot; I felt absolutely no emotional feelings for any of these girls. They were there to do a job and nothing else. Hell they didn't sleep in the same bed as me. There was one who tried to sneak in with me she was punished and out the door next day."

I don't ask about the punishment, I didn't want to know. The image of Christian punishing someone with a cane or whip makes me shudder. Was he that brutal?

"The girls who become submissive actually get off on pain Elliot, in the same way as I get aroused by metering it out. Pain and pleasure is a turn on for both parties. Look it up on Wikipaedia. There's a mine of information on there."

"Where do you, err, have these activities at Escala or do you have a little secret hide out somewhere?"

"I have a play room at Escala."

"How come I've never seen it, I've been all over your place" I frown I can't believe I missed something like that.

"It's the locked room on the second floor."

"You told me that was a storage room!" I say indignantly.

"Well I didn't want any of you in there, especially Mia."

"Mmm I can understand that. You want another beer?"

"No thanks," he looks at his watch, "I need to be home for eight, Mrs Jones will have dinner ready. I'll have a scotch on the rocks though "

"I think I'll join you with that" I get up and Christian goes and uses the bathroom.

When we are settled again, I ask, "So what made you change your mind? I can't imagine Ana being into that stuff, or maybe she is. But you care for Ana don't you?"

"Ana happened, and no for your information Ana is not into BDSM, she hasn't a submissive bone in her body and I love her for it." his eyes light up and his whole demeanour changes.

"A lot happened when you were sunning your self in Barbados. You know before you left Ana and I were seeing each other, and Kate was mad at me because she thought I was just using her as a play thing." I nod remembering our conversation after we had all had dinner at my parents place.

"Well she was right, I wanted Ana as my submissive nothing else. But it wasn't that easy. I knew Ana was inexperienced when we met. But I couldn't stop thinking about her, I told you, and you stop said to stop hiding in my past. The thing is Elliot it's my recent past that has been the problem, my past with Elena Lincoln. I realise now that although I thought she helped me I was wrong. All she did was control me, my thoughts my actions, she thoroughly brain washed me. And although we had no sexual interest in each other she has continued to control me, in the guise of friendship. This became blatantly evident on my birthday when she was telling Ana that she wouldn't be able to meet my needs. She was trying to split us up; I don't know why perhaps she thought that if Ana and I were together, she would loose her control of me."

Halleluiah the light dawns.

"What happened when we were away?"

"Ana went down to Georgia to see her mom as you know. That was an excuse; Ana's true reason for going was to take time away from me to think about signing the contract. The one agreeing to be my submissive."

"So she was into the scene as you call it?"

"Not really, but she was willing to give it a try, for me because she wanted to be with me. She told me that she wanted more than just a contractual agreement. By this time I was feeling that I couldn't let her go; the thought of her being with someone else and out of my life scared me, I couldn't bear the idea. But I wasn't in love oh no Christian Grey does not do love. This was just an obsession because; she wouldn't agree to be with me, what I want I get!"

"You were in denial bro" I shake my head in frustration at him.

"I know now but I didn't want to know then. After she had gone to Georgia, I was like a kid with separation anxiety. So I went to see Flynn. He listened to my tale of woe and practically laughed at my stupidity and told me, that there was someone loved me warts and all.

Ana knew a lot about my past, my birth mom, my hang ups and ,I don't know why, I told her about Elena; how she had educated me into the life style I lead.

I told Flynn that Ana knew. And he said anyone who wants to try and embrace that sort of relationship just so she could stay with me, must love me. He persuaded me that if only I was brave enough to take the step there was no reason why I couldn't change my life after all I was twenty seven not eighty and it wasn't too late for me. So with this thought in mind I considered flying down to Georgia.

"The following evening I had dinner with Elena. She wanted me to check the P and L sheets for the salons we own."

"You own Elena's salons!" I know he has his fingers in many pies but I didn't know he was interested in beauty business.

"I'm a silent partner. I helped her financially to set up the business after she divorced her husband. I thought it was the least I could do, after all she loaned me the seed money to get started.

"She asked me if I had a sub at the moment, she knew I hadn't because she knew the last one had been a disappointment snooping around the Escala tried to find ways of blackmailing me. Elena offered to vet me a new one, so I told her about Ana, my submissive under training. Oh she was so amused by this asked me if I'd gone to the extreme and caned her yet. When I said no I was taking things slowly. She started going on that I mustn't go to long with out a "proper sub", that it wasn't good for me and so on. Then she offered to train Ana for me make sure that she knew just how hard I could play. I could have slapped her, and she then accused me of being in love with her. She then started on about love being for fools and it wasn't for me. She pissed me off so much; I told her to leave my life the fuck alone and walked out. I went home and told Taylor that we would be flying down to Georgia the next day."

"Well good for you bro. and was every thing ok in Georgia?"

"Every thing was great; it was when I got back that the shit hit the fan"

"Why what happened when you got back"

"Ana left me" he says quietly remembering.