You guys are amazing! Because of you guys, I reached 200 reviews on this story. I love you all. Honestly I do.
So there probably won't be any updates until after November. It's NaNoWriMo and I want to focus on my novel. Sorry about that guys, but my book takes first precedence over fanfiction. I really want to finish my first draft before the end of the year if I can.
Like I said last chapter, my friend is drawing a scene from each chapter of Northern Lights. Here is chapter one. Go take a look and give her a nice compliment! http:/ commanderzorkac. deviantart. com/ art/ NL-Ch-1-210990769 (Just connect the spaces)
*Insert shameless plug here* Hey guys! I got a tumblr! I write blogs about anime, the writing process, nerdy things, and everything else in between. Since I'll probably be independently publishing my novel, I'm trying to build a fan base with a blog. *Stares at all of you* Follow me if you want. Just connect the spaces below:
http:/ geekygirlexperience. tumblr. com/
Reviews!
~Mustsay: "I find Sadiq's helping Canada out after the concentration camp somewhat ironic considering the business with the Armenians." I know it's ironic. It's going to be address in Vigilant, but I didn't want to give away too much from that story.
~wolf of infinity: The ending is a little rushed. I get so excited to share things with you guys that I sometimes don't develop ideas and parts all the way through. Also, buckle down for the next few chapters. The misunderstanding stuff is going to be in this chapter, the next one, and possibly 16. I'm still working out where to break chapters 15 and 16.
~XxAlysxX: What do you mean by "Just watch out for Aussie's bogan side and planking?" I'm not familiar with this phrase.
~commanderzorkac: My love, you were my 200th review and I couldn't be happier about it. Thank you for kicking my ass when I'm stuck in a rut with writer's block (and for talking yaoi and Harry Potter with me).
~meriyaliz: Can you tell I'm from the south in the U.S.? LOL! After I wrote the chapter with the snow, a friend of mine from Seattle called me up and told me I was wrong. She said that Seattle and Vancouver were a couple hours away and it never snowed there. So, we'll just say it was a freak storm that year! But on a more serious note, thank you for your very kind review. It means a lot to me, and it's a huge complement that I (someone from America) brought you (someone from Canada) to a tearing up state. It's not my country, but I do love Canada and not just the characters. My friends in Ontario say that I'm an honorary Canadian. Maybe that's why I can write Matt the way I do. But thank you again. It's much appreciated!
~Piggy McHoggie: I know it's silly to worry about how I characterize Turkish stuff, but it's a big portion of Sadiq's life. It's his culture and what makes him tick. I just don't know enough about it so I'm afraid to offend. Islam and Turkish culture are things that Matthew will have to learn about Sadiq as well. Matt has some secrets that won't jive well with Sadiq because of religion. I just want to portray him correctly.
~Utaria: I read all my reviews multiple times. I definitely had time for yours. Thanks for taking the time to review. I appreciate it!
~Lovely: HAHA! I have converted thee! Yessss! Thanks for picking it up. I would love to see your TurCan work. Let's exchange tumblrs!
~There's No Cure for The Insane: A oneshot for me! *Squee!* Um... I've been getting into Scotland/Canada recently. Like how Matt is the only person who can calm Scotland down with his moe powers. And Scotland is like crazy protective of him. When it comes to human names, I like the fan name "Alasdair" best for Scotland. Is that okay?
~Autumn Eclipse: Harry Potter, Hetalia, and Glee! We love the same things! New best friend!
~Warpath Grizzly: Philips CD-i! No, no Matt does NOT have one of those. Oh lord, those things are derpy.
~Cynical Gummy Bear: "PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF YAOI CONTINUE." I shall right now!
On to the story! This chapter is for all of you! Thank you again!
Breathe... Breathe... Breathing crap that bruder does. Though, he never does it right. Ludwig would never admit to doing yoga to help calm his nerves. He only does the positions that make him appear manly, but honestly he still looked like an idiot. Add that to the "Things to make fun of Ludwig" list.
Gilbert opted not to wear the clothes Francis and Antonio set him up in. Honestly if it was just going to be a friend date, why did he have to look so fancy? Friend date, an awesome friend date! He sighed knowing the truth. In his hand was a bouquet of lilies. After probing at Francis, Gilbert found out they were Matthew's favorite. But the Prussian added his own touch. Poking out between the white petals were pastel buds of Forget-me-nots. They were flowers that were cherished by both Germans and Canadians. It was more sentimental than Gilbert usually was. But this was probably his last ditch effort to weasel himself into Matt's heart.
Though, he knew that it was a far cry. Matthew's entire world was quickly succumbed in a certain Turk. Gilbert hated that guy who never noticed the Canadian before and took his Mattie away. Unlike Sadiq, Gilbert dedicated centuries to Matt and waited for him to be old enough to date. It sounded creepy, but Matt and he were meant to be together. Who the hell was this masked freak who just came into Canada and ravished the Prussian's hopes and dreams?
Though they only really knew each other through trade and far away rumors, Gilbert remembered the Ottoman Empire and the horror stories that came from the east. Luckily his precious Prussia never had to cross Turkey. The very few times Gilbert and Sadiq met in the past was mostly for business. But there was that one night…
He frowned. The one night that had been decided that Matthew was his. He hadn't even met the boy at that point, but he was told to look for a child with Francis. They were to be together. Sadiq had been there too, but luckily he didn't remember. Gilbert stared up to Matthew's house with more resolve. The fact Sadiq didn't remember that time proved that Matt was Gilbert's alone. Now he would claim his love.
Only awesome people don't knock right away on doors. He stared at the wood frame and licked his dry lips. Awesome people never wore Chap Stick either. Dry lips are cool. With resolve, Gilbert knocked on the door and held his breath.
It took several minutes, but finally Matthew opened the door. Every protective gene in Gilbert awoke as he saw the young man. The Canadian's eyes were red and puffy and he looked exhausted from crying all night. His face swelled and a bit of dried ice cream stuck to his chin. Glancing past him, Gilbert spotted the empty chocolate pudding and ice cream containers on the living room table and floor. They were surrounded by piles of used tissues. No on hurts his friend. This Prussian was out for blood. But first he needed to take care of Matthew.
"Gilbert?" his voice was hoarse.
"What happened?" Gil didn't mean to sound so threatening. "What happened!"
"Oh no! We were going to have dinner together," Matthew pulled away and became teary. "I can't believe I forgot that. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Don't be mad at me." Breaking into tears, he covered his face and sobbed.
Holding his tongue, Gilbert stepped inside and pulled Matthew into a hug. "I am not mad at you. I'm mad at whatever asshole made you cry." He stroked the soft blonde hair and whispered into the locks, "Forget about the dinner. I'm here with you tonight. I got you."
The words broke Matthew. He gave a great tremble and succumbed to his friend. Heavy tears sunk into Gilbert's shirt, but he didn't mind. They were Matt's tears, and the Prussian did something which was rare for him. He prayed. He prayed to whoever was listening to lift this burden from his dear friend.
Holding out the cup to Matthew, Gilbert took a seat beside his friend. They sat on Matt's back porch together deciding it was a good night to watch the moon rise. Ever since Gilbert had been released from Russia after the Cold War, this house was one of the few places he felt truly safe. Matt and he spent several nights sitting in the same spot. They would talk through the emotional trials both had overcome, and sometimes sit in silence just gawking at the stars. Silence was a rare gift for Prussia.
Matthew sipped his tea, "Thanks for making this. I'm sorry I didn't help much."
"It's okay. I've been here enough times to know where most of your stuff is."
"Then why don't you ever help me cook?"
"I suck at it."
Putting his cup down, Matthew laid his head on his pulled up knees and looked past Gilbert. The flowers he brought sat in a vase in the kitchen window, "Those are lovely. Thank you."
"No problem, Birdie. You deserve them," he leaned back on the stairs. "Francis sort of helped me with them."
"Papa is the reason I love lilies. He would put them in my baths as a child so I would smell like them all day. But those Forget-Me-Nots were a very nice touch."
"You're welcome," Gilbert couldn't help but to grin. He still needed to find out what had happened. Gil assumed it was something with Sadiq, but he needed to be sure. Though, at this moment Matt appeared to not want to talk about much. The Prussian would wait a little longer before pushing the issue. "It's a nice moon rising."
"What?"
Gilbert pointed to the celestial object hanging low in the sky, "The moon. It's sort of pretty how it's a crescent and all."
Matthew stiffened up and clutched his knees. In a low voice, he mumbled, "I hate the moon."
In all the time he had been with him, Gilbert had never heard Matthew say he hated anything as simple as the moon. Sure, Matt hated war and people getting hurt, but the moon? What the heck? "Did you just say that?"
"Yes, I hate the moon." He leapt up to his feet and shook his fist in an overdramatic way. If it wasn't happening in real life, Gilbert would laugh. He instead watched Matthew's face flush red as he screamed, "Do you hear that moon! I hate you! I hate everything about you! I hate the stupid crescent shape and I hate the stupid white star beside it and the red color! I hate YOUR moon!" Tears trickled down his cheeks and he stomped his feet on the stairs, "Do you hear me! I hate your moon with your dumb beard and your dumb eyes and your voice! And your scent! And everything! I HATE YOU!" His entire body shook with rage and sorrow. He sunk back down to the steps and covered his face as he sobbed.
Gilbert was speechless. How did someone awesome respond to that? He couldn't tell Matthew to walk it off or just say "Fuck them!" and move on. Matt was far too sensitive to do something to that nature. So, Gilbert did something a bit un-awesome.
Wrapping his arms around Matthew, Gil pulled him into his lap and cradled his best friend to his chest. For the first few moments, the blonde didn't say anything. His arms just wrapped around Gilbert's middle and relaxed. Some tears still escaped; the overly emotional sobbing was at bay once again. In the smallest voice, Matthew said, "Sadiq left me."
"What?" Gilbert fought back a growl. He couldn't lose his temper at this moment. Matthew didn't need that from him. He made a mental note to sucker punch Sadiq. "Why, why would he do that? I thought you guys were doing so well."
"Me too," Matthew whimpered and lightly hit Gil's chest. "Sorry for that."
"Didn't hurt at all. Did he say anything to you?"
Matthew shrugged, "He just said we couldn't be together anymore. We were about to… you know…"
Gil's hands tightened around his body.
Matt continued, "…and he just started freaking out. He looked really scared and left. I just don't know what I did wrong!"
Holding him out at arm's length, Gilbert shook him, "You did nothing wrong! It's him, not you. Birdie… Matthew, you're perfect in every way. That man's a jerk! Ask anyone and they probably had a bad run in with him. He didn't deserve you. You're smart and beautiful and kind… Gott, you're so kind. You have the most beautiful heart, and I hate to see some douchebag destroy it."
Eyes wide in surprise, Matt cocked his head as things dropped into place. "Gilbert," he looked into his best friend's eyes. "Are you… in love with me?"
Shit. Shit, shit, and all the shit in the world pile up in a heaping pile of shit! What would Matthew think? Gilbert did come here to win him back. But he wanted to be the one to say it. Fuck being so fucking transparent! There was only one thing left to do. Cupping Matthew's cheeks, Gilbert leaned in and pressed his lips to Matthew's.
This kiss wasn't quite what he had hoped for. There was no romance in the kiss. Just desperation and force in the action like any good Prussian would do. But Matthew's lips were softer than he imagined. They were plump from crying and swollen from him biting his lips when he was upset. These were little details that probably only Gilbert and Gilbert alone had noticed.
He leaned back and looked into Matthew's eyes. He wasn't going to lie. He was afraid about what he would see. But there was no anger or hate. Those were two words, as stated earlier, that rarely left Matthew's lips. Knowing Gilbert so well, the shock passed, and the friends smiled at the same time. They giggled together both sounding similar to skittish girls.
"Oh my God!" Matthew covered his mouth and turned a shade of pink. He realized he was still in his friend's lap but he couldn't care. "How… How long have you felt like this?"
"Since I met you."
"That's so creepy! You knew me as a child!"
"Okay, you can say all the pedo jokes that you want, but Birdie…" he touched Matthew's cheek. "…I have always known you were special. I watch you grow up into the most beautiful man. I might not have anything to give. I'm not a nation anymore. Fuck, I live in my brother's basement. But that means I can give you myself and nothing else."
"Gilbert, I've never seen you like this," Matthew smiled. "I wish you were this sincere all the time and not 'awesome' or pretending to be."
"What do you mean?"
Taking his hand, Matthew gripped it hard, "I know that you tell yourself that you're awesome because you don't believe it. You're insecure and blame yourself for your downfall."
Gil couldn't deny it, but a lump still formed in his throat. This kid was had amazing perspective.
"I don't believe any of that though. I think you're strong. You didn't die after World War II like you were supposed to-"
"Because you appealed my sentence to the Allies. You saved my life."
Matthew shook his head, "But your nation vanished. By Nation People laws, you should have perished. But you fought through it and became East Germany. And when you and Ludwig unified, there were suddenly two German brothers like there are two Italian brothers. It was Nation Person history. You weren't allowed to the meetings during the Cold War, but we discussed it a ton. People were in awe of you and so was I."
"Is that why you came to visit me in Russia whenever Ivan allowed it?"
"That and you're also my friend. I was so worried about you. When I saw you for the first time-"
Gilbert clicked his tongue, "I don't want to talk about that."
"I know. I'm sorry." Matthew rubbed his shoulders. "I really am sorry, Gilbert. I wish I knew sooner. It might have worked. It probably would have work." He looked down and whispered. "I love you, but just not like that."
"I love you too, Birdie," Gil kissed his forehead. "And I want you to know I'll wait for you forever. You know where to find me. And Sadiq better hope he doesn't fuck up, because I'm stealing you."
"Thank you. For everything," Matthew hugged him tight. "And if Sadiq and I don't get back together, give me several weeks to wallow in food and tears. Then I might be ready to go on a date."
"That won't happen," Gilbert kissed his cheek. "You were happier than I ever seen you. I won't let him get away with this."
"What are you going to do?"
The heat in Egypt warmed Gupta's table, and Sadiq savored the feeling. For the last two hours, his head lay on the table and didn't move. How could he had left Matthew like that? It was for the best! It had to be. He couldn't take away Matt's virginity. He didn't want to turn that boy into a man. Who was he kidding? He wanted to plow into Matthew, make him whimper and beg, and make him come. But it wasn't for the lust. Sadiq had fallen in love with Matthew. He was perfect. Too perfect for a wash up old country who had no significance anymore. He wasn't even in the EU.
He regretted his choice from the night before. Once he got home, he had stared at his phone until he went to sleep. He had wanted to call Matt but decided against it. Someone else who was better suited for him would come along. And Matt would be happier. But it didn't stop Sadiq from feeling like crap.
A coffee cup appeared in his line of vision. Glancing up, he met Gupta's eyes. Sadiq shook his head, "I don't want any coffee."
"Get up. Go home."
"I don't want to be alone, Gupta," he licked his dry lips and shuddered. He had yet to cry in front of Gupta. It wouldn't start now. "I think I made a mistake."
"Fix it."
"Shut up!" Sadiq popped up and automatically regretted it. Pain shot through his stiff neck and he hissed. "When did you become such a big talker?"
Gupta rolled his eyes and took out his phone, "You should leave. I got a text. Someone is coming for you."
"Is it Matt?"
"No."
"I don't care!" He sunk back down to the table and rested his cheek on the heat. "Have I ever been this torn up before?"
"Not since Heracles had his revolution." Gupta crossed his arms. "Sadiq, get up. You're acting like a child. You obviously love him. Though, it would have been nice to know you were with someone. You didn't even tell me."
Sadiq lifted his face enough to see him, "Sorry. That was Matt. He was afraid to tell anyone."
"I knew you were together."
"I figured you did."
"You weren't that subtle at the last world meeting."
"Please, shut up and let me be."
Thumps sounded from the front porch as someone ran up the stairs. The front door was forced open, and Gupta hustled into the next room, "Just because you said you were coming doesn't mean you can barge into my house!"
The person must have ignored him, because someone was in the kitchen. They grabbed Sadiq's shirt and threw him on the floor. The Turk slid on the hard wood and gawked up.
"Prussia!"
"Yeah it's me, you sorry sack of shit!" Prussia snagged his collar and shook him, "What the fuck is wrong with you! How could you do that to Matthew!" His eyes flashed a deeper red than their normal shade.
"That's why you're here?" Sadiq was on his feet and shoved him off. "Leave me be! I have my reasons."
"Fine! You don't deserve him then," Gilbert turned away. "I'll steal him from you then."
Heat boiled up in Sadiq as he gripped his hands into fists. What was this cretin speaking of? He thought he could make Matthew happy! Impossible! "I won't let you have him."
"Why?" a cocky smirk crossed Prussia face. "Why should you have him when you can't even remember him?"
"I don't… What? What do you mean?"
Prussia looked to a very peeved Gupta, "Do you remember? You were there."
Gupta nodded, his eyes critically watching Sadiq.
The anger seeped from Sadiq as confusion set in, "What are you two speaking of? What am I supposed to remember?"
"Sadiq," Gupta spoke softly. "You were not drawn to Matthew's innocence. That was not the feeling you saw in his eyes. It was something else from a very long time ago. Prussia apparently remembers, and so do I."
"I don't understand."
"It's one of the many reasons I left you. I knew you would never be mine because of Matthew."
Sadiq touched his head. He knew they both spoke the truth, but he didn't know why. It was like far off déjà vu he couldn't remember. But it was in his mind whatever it was. It was the reason that Matthew was his and his alone. His eyes traveled to Gilbert. The Prussian watched him as well but with hate. Until Sadiq could remember whatever it was, this man would have a one up on him. He had to know, "Tell me. Please. So I can be with Matthew again."
But it was Gupta that answered, "No. You mustn't say anything Prussia. It's for him to figure out on his own. Sadiq must forge his own path and so shall you."
"I wouldn't anyway. He hurt my best friend." A new emotion passed over his features; it was one Sadiq had never seen on the Prussian: humility. "I'll help you get back with Matt. I hate seeing him like this."
Sadiq shook his head, "I don't understand. Why would you do that? Everyone knows you like him… except Matthew, but he never notices-"
"-anything that has to do with himself. I know." Gilbert ran a hand through his hair. "Consider this your only help from me. After that, I swear to Gott if you hurt him I will take him from you."
"Deal. What do I have to do?"
Confused? GOOD! Please read and review.
Sorry if there are a lot of mistakes. I did very light editing on this piece. I want to try and update Vigilant and TCB before it gets closer to my mom's wedding.