Me: Woosh…I am back!
Everyone else: Yeah, yeah…
Me: Come on, let's have some enthusiasm…
Pack up your troubles and your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile…
Percy: Why are you wearing a puffy yellow tattered ballerina dress?
Me: Who?
Percy: YOU!
Me: Who me?
Percy: YES YOU!
Me (looking puzzled): Couldn't be…
*Percy shakes his head in frustration….*
Luke: Well, well, well I didn't know you like ticking off demigods…following Percy's example I suppose?"
Me: Is it me or did I just see Luke grin evilly?
*Suddenly his goons appear and keeps me hostage*
*They all get out swords*
Me: Is it just me or is Luke's evil goons are about to keep me hostage?
Percy: Yup…gotta go…laters!
*All the demigods run out*
Me: Dammit, little help here Hermes…Your son's being pretty bad today….
Hermes: Hey guys…do you want to go for pizza?
Poseidon: Yeah that would be a great idea…
Apollo: Pepperoni and salami here I come!
*All the gods go to grab pizza…*
*Luke's goons advance…"
Me: I knew I should have taken them to that free Lynx give away place with Taylor Swift singing…
*Suddenly*
Everyone: Happy Birthday!
Me: It's not my birthday…but can we have the cake anyway?
Everyone: Oh…
Luke (to goons): Come on you can go home now…party's over…
Goon Actors: sigh…
Percy sighed with relief as the taxi accelerated down a steep bridge and over a mountain…and yeah…
"This is as far as I go…" the taxi driver said looking at Percy, they have arrived at a forgotten reserve somewhere. The yellow cab was the only car in the whole car park and just then a particularly large cloud hid the sun. Talk about spooky thought Percy as he looked around the place, there was a small hole like entrance leading into a dark and deep forgotten trail covered with snow and branches…"Solitary confinement here I come," muttered Percy has he ducked under a low branch and into the 'woods'.
The trail was a frozen dirt track surrounded by trees and bushes, it was cold, peaceful and silent and Percy was miserable… "Yeah this is awesome…what a great way to spend Christmas huh," said Percy shivering inside his great coat and pulling his scarf extra tight as a cold gust of wind whistled through the dark skeleton like trees. "You know I sort of regret this…Yup I totally regret this, I could be in a toilet in a warm mall with an annoying unicorn and I wouldn't mind," There was an eerie silence and a light snow began to fall. I wonder if it's too late to turn back now? thought Percy as he glanced behind him, he turned around and started to walk back the way he came. He power- walked and then began to run as he made out in the distance a little round hole that seemed to lead to the car park. He burst out of the bushes with the grace of a ballerina, spinning in the air like Jackie Chan and looking like a younger version of Robeson Crusoe when suddenly a tattered old sign post caught his eye: Cliff it read in flaky chipping paint but that was after he managed to unscramble what his dyslexia scrambled…but by now it was of course too late…
Meanwhile…
Kronos's $400 fry pan sizzled with sausages and beef as he poured Campbell's Real Stock in for the aromas to 'marry' as he puts it and simmer.
"Right okay what I have done is we have but the carrots and the potatoes and all the rest of the stuff in the oven with a bit of olive oil drizzled on top…" announced Kronos in his Scottish accent and waving his free hand dramatically while he fries the meat, "Now we are grilling the meat to go in this ensemble and then it will be bon appetite!"
All was silent for awhile except the sounds of grilling and frying when Kronos started in a very soft voice, "You know tonight's 3 course is made especially for my 3 sons as they invited me to their Christmas Party," Kronos muttered tearfully…I rather do like them -"
he was interrupted by Luke with a, "Sir? I invited you…I just asked for Zeus's permission…" but Kronos ignored him and carried on, "Zeus always smelt of Ozone…puh, Poseidon was a little hard to control and Hades had a bad attitude but family is family," sighed Kronos, "They haven't talked to their dear old father in what feels like an eon…But on a happier note I will be back to plotting their down fall in the New Year!" and with that he threw the perfectly cooked meats into the air-sauce and all and then he ran to the oven, vampire speed and tossed all the tender, juicy vegetables in the air; threw a couple of crisp porcelain dishes up as well and in less than a minute the dishes clashed down in 10 rows and the food rained down perfectly on each dish.
Meanwhile…
"Which one?" asked Nico holding up 2 very long very fairytale-ish dresses, "I just can't decide,
"They're the same Nico," said Bianca looking around at her brother,
"Oh yes they are," mumbled Nico passively, "Anyhoo, I'll get this one for the wedding scene and I'll get the fuchsia satin and lace one for the beginning…"
"Nico, those cost like $80 dollars each," stated Bianca
"No they don't," Nico frowned as he read the price tag and stopped short, "Oh my gods, my wallet's going to become anorexic,"
Bianca snorted in reply, "Come on let's practice our lines in the corner then decide on the costumes,"
Bianca dragged Nico towards the movie cinemas and they found a dark corner and they started to whisper:
"Once upon a time in a far, far away land lived a beautiful queen and a kind and welcoming king who was loved by all in their kingdom," said Nico as the 'traditional' narrator,
"Come on, in those ages everyone wanted to over throw the king…" said Bianca as the over-critical, pessimistic, no-happily-ever-afters narrator,
"Can one talk?" asked the Proper Narrator
"Carry on…" said the Modern Narrator
"Anyways their only trouble was that they had no child, and they became very lonely-yawn I am tired, let's call it a day and get some more coffee…" whispered Nico to Bianca as he reached the end of his line, "Anyways I can't be bothered with having two narrators, really unoriginal don't you think?"
"Whatever," answered Bianca as they marched off back to the cafe.
Percy: Whoa!
Everyone else: What?
Percy: You left me on a cliff hanger there!
Me: Yes literally
Percy(biting nails and shifting from foot to foot): Ohhh, are you going to make me fall to my painful, excruciatingly gruesome death?
Me: If I told everyone it wouldn't be a cliff hanger would it?
Percy: I was looking forward to Annabeth looking all lost and mad with grief…
Annabeth: Ahem, I wouldn't be mad with grief…because I am too smart for that and by the way I am guessing you'll just fall-
Me: Shut up okay…
Annabeth: Sorry…
Me: Sigh you guys probably all know right?
Hermes (pretending to be all innocent and child like): Do I get a prize if I tell everyone the answer?
Me: Yes Hermes, yes you do…you get an old shoe filled with maggots and some slimy Neptune's Necklaces…
Hermes: Yay!
Poseidon (responding to everyone's puzzled stare): It's a type of seaweed
Thalia: Hey Percy, are there real mermaids in the ocean?
Percy: Ask my dad
Thalia: Are their any mermaids in the ocean?
Poseidon: Why do you ask?
Thalia: Just because…
Poseidon: Let me tell all you kiddies a story…
Once upon a time when Oceanus ruled the seas there was a brave sailor who liked to wear short Greek togas and was a hard working fellow…one day…discovered a beautiful shore…he was a bit of a ladies man…saw a mysterious girl on a rock…
*By this stage every demigod who was sitting down listening drifted off to sleep like babies*
Poseidon (smiling): That's how it's done…