Welcome back!

So, I've gotten a few questions about cheating in this story and I thought now would be a great moment to answer them to those who have asked, those who might be wondering, and even those who aren't concerned about.

SPOILERS in this following paragraph!

… …

No cheating…but I suppose that kind of depends on your opinions on the whole "we were on a break" thing. Nothing will happen between two characters while one of them is in a relationship with someone else. Bella is engaged to Alec. Alec and Bella both know this, and as long as the two of them still consider each other to be in a relationship, then there will be no cheating. It's not Bella saying "he knows something is wrong, he has to realize something is going on" or Alec saying the same thing. It's more of Alec and Bella both saying "we need to take some time apart" and being fully aware of that separation.

… …

Even though I was busy in the following weeks, I never said no when Edward asked if we could see each other. He showed me the rest of his friends studio, letting me look at all of the equipment and the photos he was developing. He invited me to get coffee a few times, and took me to try my first Chicago-style deep dish pizza. I found it so effortless to be friends with him again, and time spent with him was a welcome break from all the stress and rush of school.

Edward didn't call Chicago home, but he'd spent enough time there to know all the ins and outs of the city. He showed me all of his favorite places while still allowing me to discover others on my own.

He still wore his camera slung around his neck, and approached photography will the same experienced ease he had all those years ago. It became a little ritual for us- he would take photos, and then at the end of the day, he'd take me back to the studio so that we could look at them together. And without fail, I was always stunned at all the things his eyes and camera lens saw that I had missed.

For the first time in years, I felt like I could enjoy photography again. I started to use my phone to capture more and more photos, and Edward was always gracious and kind as we looked at them together.

In the past few months- maybe even the last year- law school had been my driving force. It was what I worked towards and put my time into. But it was easy to get burnt out that way, and my time with Edward became a sanctuary.

… …

"Maybe you should ask your photographer friend to do your engagement photos, Bella."

Jane's suggestion sounded innocent, but the glint in her eyes told me it was anything but. I glanced over at Alec- he continuously said that he didn't care if I spent time with Edward, but if he had mentioned it to his sister be obviously thought something of it. The problem was, I had no idea what.

So I just smiled at her. "That would be a good idea, but he's not even based here in Chicago, so he'll be leaving town soon." It almost hurt to say that, even though it was true. Edward was leaving at the end of October, and didn't know exactly when he would be back. He would be doing jobs in November and the beginning of December, and then spending Christmas in Texas with Alice. The earliest he would be back in Chicago was January. And even then- it was always temporary.

"Well, maybe he could prolong his time in Chicago. You know, as a favor. The two of you are obviously close."

"I don't think so. He's leaving for jobs that have already been booked, so…"

"Maybe I should call him, or drop by. If he wouldn't do it for an old friend, money talks, you know. Especially for things like this."

I gritted my teeth at the implication that Edward was a sellout. "Edward really isn't like that, Jane."

"Regardless," Alec said, cutting his sister off before she could open her mouth to even say anything else. "I think we want a photographer with a little more…I don't know, recognition behind them. I'm sure your friend is great, babe, but our cousin Marcus mentioned a photographer here who has done photos for members of European royal families and other prominent clients. I think that would be more what we should be looking into."

I couldn't have agreed less, but I didn't say anything. I wasn't used to this opulent lifestyle that the Volturi family lived, but Alec and Jane had grown up in it. It was nothing to them, because they were raised to think of money as an infinite resource. I didn't plan on raising my children the same way, but I didn't blame Alec and Jane for being that way when they had been raised like that.

They grew up expecting the best and being told that they deserved the best. Alec had been fairly laid back while he was in undergrad, focusing more on dividing his time between partying and schoolwork. He knew how to have a good time and would drop the money to ensure that he did, but after the party was over, he buckled down and was a good student. But in the time that we had been together, I could see him placing more and more of a focus on his family's money- especially now.

I had never thought as myself as someone who cared about money, and at first, Alec's excessive wealth had actually been more of a deterrent than anything else. In Forks, practically no one had a lot of money. There were plenty of people who were considered upper middle class, but it was a small town and fairly isolated, and there just wasn't the opportunity for people there to be considered wealthy.

That was what I was used to, and seeing my new friends in college spend money like it was nothing had been a shock. Now I was going to be marrying into an incredibly rich family, and had already experienced a much more lavish lifestyle.

But while they talked about trips to Europe and weeks spent aboard luxury yachts, I thought of the meadow behind my parents house in Forks, and how someplace like that meant more to me than anywhere else.

… …

"Wow," I said, stepping closer. "These are beautiful, Edward."

Freshly developed pictures were spread across the desk in the back room of the studio, and every single one looked like a piece of artwork to me. I saw pictures from every place we'd been together in the past few weeks- from restaurants and coffee shops to Millennium Park and the beach along Lake Michigan. There were pictures from our day at Wrigley Field, where Edward had taken me to my first baseball game, and ones from the zoo and the aquarium.

I had been in Chicago for months now, but it had just now started to feel like someplace I could consider home. And while that should have been a good thing, it was also unsettling.

I'd moved here for my fiancé and for law school, but the best part of my life here had very quickly become Edward and the time we spent together. I had known that seeing Edward and spending all this time with him would be a slippery slope, but I truly hadn't expected it to all happen so fast and at this magnitude.

What I was doing wasn't fair to my fiancé, or the health of our relationship. But I felt like I couldn't stop. I'd spent three years without Edward in my life, and I didn't want to do that again.

"Look at this one."

Edward spoke, and his voice was a welcome interruption to my racing thoughts. I examined the picture he was pointing out, touching the edge with my fingertips.

It was simple- a photo of the sun rising over Lake Michigan. I remembered that day well- I'd been swamped with schoolwork, so the only time I'd been able to see Edward was during my morning run along the shore. Edward had joined me, turning it into more like a walk rather than a run, but I hadn't minded the change. On the left-hand side of the photo, I could see myself standing right along the water in the distance, looking out at the beautiful scene over the water.

With all the beauty of Lake Michigan and the rising sun, Edward had somehow managed to make me the best part of the picture.

"I love it."

"Yeah?" His nose crinkled playfully as he smiled, and came up behind me to study the photo close as well. "So do I."

"Well I hope so," I teased. "It's your photo, after all."

We continued talking and pointing out our favorite pictures until I checked the time. "Shoot. I should really get going…I wasn't planning on staying so long."

"Big plans tonight?"

"No! I mean…Alec and I were talking about going out to dinner. But nothing major." It was still a little odd for me to talk about my fiancé to Edward, and maybe it was awkward for him, too.

He nodded. "Ah. I see."

"What about you?"

"I was thinking maybe it was time to get a Chicago tattoo."

"All these years of coming back to Chicago and you've never gotten a tattoo here?"

Edward laughed sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders. "There was never anything here that I wanted to capture."

I swallowed thickly at the implication of his words. "And now?"

"Now…it's different."

I noticed suddenly how close I was standing to him- I could smell his cologne and the spearmint gum he was chewing, and was close enough to see the tiny designs tattooed behind his left ear that hadn't been there five years ago. It would have been so, so easy to just kiss him, and it probably would have felt so right in the moment. It could have felt like coming home again.

But I took a step back. And took a deep breath.

This was Edward. Smart, passionate, and so kind. He still somehow saw things in me that no one else ever had, or ever would. I had loved him way back when, and maybe I still loved him. He certainly made me feel like I was eighteen again, and I probably still looked at him with stars in my eyes.

But he was not the man I was said I would spend the rest of my life with. No matter how many butterflies Edward gave me, it wasn't his ring on my finger and he wasn't the man I went home to at the end of the day.

"I should probably just go," I finally said."

Edward smiled, but I thought he looked a little sad. "Yeah, okay. Do…do you want me to hold off on the tattoo? I can always get it another time if you'd want to come get me."

I should have said no. I should have said that it didn't matter; it was his skin and not mine.

But I didn't.

… …

"Yikes. Didn't do so well, huh?"

Alec slung his arm around my shoulders as I frowned at my computer, looking at the grade I'd received on my last paper.

I was a good writer. I'd always prided myself on the fact and had even though I might have rushed this one out, I'd thought I'd at least get a C. I was wrong.

"It was just a hard topic for me," I said, trying to brush it off.

"You've been struggling in that class a lot."

I shot him a dirty look, but he just raised his eyebrows knowingly. "Didn't you say you did poorly on that last quiz? You should join our Tuesday night study group, babe. It's helped me loads- I'm sure it'll help you, too."

Tuesday nights was usually one of the days I did something with Edward. Alec had told me he'd been going to a study group that night, and he was always home late, but I had brushed it off, thinking I didn't need the extra time to study. I'd graduated from the University of Washington with a 4.0 and scored high on my LSATs- and let myself think that I wouldn't need to study even harder in law school. Now I was seeing my grades slip, and even though it was only the beginning of October, and I was still passing, it was enough to scare me.

But apparently not enough to cancel on Edward, because I still met him the following Tuesday evening at the tattoo parlor he'd told me he'd been recommended.

I watched quietly as he got the tattoo; small words- Urbs in Horto neatly inked onto his shoulder.

"What does it mean?" I asked later, as the artist was taping the gauze over the fresh tattoo.

"It's Chicago's motto," Edward explained. "City in a Garden."

He thanked the artist and paid, and we left the shop together. I didn't even bother to ask where we were going; I just followed his lead and we eventually ended up sitting on a park bench in Millennium Park.

"Remember that day in Port Angeles?"

Of course I remembered that day, and I knew that he knew that perfectly well. So I didn't reply, and he continued. "That was a turning point. That was when I knew that you would always mean something to me."

I watched as he fumbled in his jacket pocket for a cigarette and his lighter, and wrinkled my nose when he lit it up. "I hate that."

"I know."

"You told me it was an addiction…but safer than your others," I said, remembering that small conversation even though it had happened five years ago.

"I remember that, too. And it's still true- smoking is the safest of my many vices."

I hated that so much of him was still a mystery, and that he was purposely withholding the truth. He was just being obscure and mysterious without ever giving me any insight into what all of this meant, really meant.

"What do you expect me to say to stuff like that, Edward?"

He blinked a few times, surprised. "What?"

"You say stuff like that but then never follow up with an actual answer."

"I didn't hear a question."

"Don't do that," I said, exasperated. "I just want to know."

"Know what?"

"Know you."

… …

Thanks for reading! Hoping to see you guys again on Tuesday for the next chapter.