After some minor difficulties, we finally managed to wrestle the author back into her cage. We gave her a laptop and she managed to crank out a semi-coherent chapter. We hope you enjoy, but most likely you won't.

Yanagi is perpetually curious. He considers it one of his best features. And although it has gotten him into some very interesting situations, he still values his never-ending thirst for knowledge...which is probably why he's hiding in a bush right now. It's not that he doesn't trust his teammates, but some extra data never hurt. Niou and Yagyuu hanging out with Marui and Kirihara at an ice cream parlor is a rather bizarre situation. But then again Yanagi considers any human interaction as unusual. He pulled out his trusty tape recorder - he had loan his notebook to Yukimura – and began to speak.

"Marui looks to be on the verge of a mental meltdown while Niou is making what can be technically classified as googly eyes at his ice cream. Yagyuu has just come back with a ton of ice cream and Kirihara is scarfing it down at an impressive rate. Why is Akaya getting ice cream? What is the link that brings these four together? Is that a bruise on Akaya? Must investigate further; end recording."

10 minutes later

"A spat seemed to have broken out as Marui is waving his hands frantically at Yagyuu. Kirihara has finished his ice cream and is currently bouncing around in his seat. Niou is smirking, which is never a good sign. End recording." Yanagi stowed his recorder in a safe place – read, in his pocket – and returned to observing the quartet.

"Gathering data, Renji?" Yanagi turned around and was faced with none other than his arch-nemesis…the yogurt man, I mean Inui.

"How did you deduce that, Sadaharu?"

"Well you're hiding in a bush outside of an ice cream place with your tape recorder. It is obvious that you are currently gathering valuable data on your teammates. Mind if I join you?" Inui asked as he crouched down beside Yanagi.

"I'm not supposed to help out the enemy. Seiichi will be, how should I put it? I suppose pissed off as hell will suffice."

"I'm sure you can make an allowance for a close childhood friend."

"A friend who now works for the enemy," Yanagi pointed out. He turned back to the ice cream parlor only to find the previously occupied booth devoid of his teammates.

"It seems our arguing has caused us to lose sight of our targets."

"Indeed." Yanagi agreed.

"Perhaps we should consider the convenience store across the street." Inui said.

"It would seem like a good lead."

"Do your teammates frequent this store?" Inui asked as he pulled out his trusty notebook and started scribbling. Yanagi only stared in jealousy at Inui's notebook. If only Yukimura could take his own chemistry notes, but no, he was too busy living with a life threatening condition; stupid Yukimura and his ailments.

"We have entered the convenience store." Yanagi stated. No, really? What tipped you off, genius?

"I have a feeling that the author made you say that line so that it can serve as a transition." Inui observed. Nice going there, Sherlock.

"A fair conclusion." Yanagi said. The duo wandered the surprisingly spacious store in search of their targets.

"I propose that we divide and conquer so that the author can have an easier time trying to incorporate humor into this story."

"Fair reason; very well then, we shall as they say, 'split-up'." Yanagi replied.

And so our valiant heroes parted ways, each with a target in mind.

The fine young lad sporting a pair of horn rimmed glasses picked his way through a sea of lotions and facial masks, only to stumble upon a very devious Niou.

"Data…" was all Inui whispered as he started to frantically document Niou's behavior…from behind a fern that he brought from home. Inui also uses a dead branch when he is spying during the fall or winter months. Sometimes he even pretends he is an innocent beach goer that happened to wander into Hyotei's ranking matches. Needless to say, Inui was a master of disguise.

Niou felt his stalker senses tingling and dropped the lotion he was looking at before sprinting into the wilderness that is the toy section.

"Wait, must collect data!" Inui shouted, as he carried his fern and chased after the sliver-headed teen. "At least tell me what the lotion was for! Are you suffering from dry elbows? Is that because you've been practicing your backswing? Do you sometimes cover yourself in lotion and go dumpster diving?!"

"Stop stalking me, I don't have the monkey!" Niou yelled back as he skidded around a corner.

"Would you care to elaborate on this monkey business? Are you secretly a monkey?" Inui questioned while he somehow managed to write, run, and balance his precious fern.

"NO! Why the hell would I want to be a monkey?"

"They are very nimble and highly intelligent creatures."

"At scratching their ass, have you ever been to the monkey exhibit? They fling poop at each other. Wait, aren't you that Yanagi-clone from Seigaku? Shouldn't you be with your boyfriend, Snakey?" Niou asked, coming to an ungraceful stop at the snack section. Inui pushed up his glasses with his fern…don't ask me how, and said, "Indeed." DUH DUH DUUUNN! Plot twist! Except it wasn't really a plot twist since you already knew Inui was Inui. UNLESS….actually, don't hold your breath, there is no unless.

Meanwhile our witty, slit-eyed, and good natured chap happened upon a rather peculiar scene…

Yagyuu, The Gentleman, Hiroshi was currently being escorted out of the store. Yagyuu, THE Goody two shoes, was being ESCORTED OUT - as in not in - of the store. I know, it's a shocker to me as well and I wrote this sh*t.

Yanagi pulled out his fern and proceeded to sneakily follow Yagyuu…as a moving house plant, which is totally and absolutely normal.

"Kirihara-kun, do you now understand why it is very important that you do not shout out 'I want a STD!' in the middle of a store?" Yagyuu asked.

"But…but my dinosaur…" Kirihara whimpered as he followed Yagyuu out of the store.

"What is the 'connection' between STD and dinosaur? I must investigate further in order to sate my curiosity." Yanagi recorded before moving his plant closer to the pair.

"I knew I should've let Niou-kun or Marui-kun handle this…speaking of which, where are those two? It would be unwise to leave them alone in public." Yagyuu murmured.

"Where have you guys been? Look, I got the make-up; let's just get out of here." Marui said as he came out the store carrying a small plastic bag.

"We can't, Niou-kun has yet to return."

"Yo.." Niou said while casually appearing out of nowhere with a walking fern that then went to stand by the other fern and started to exchange data…HINT HINT.

"Hey, those ferns look suspicious..." Marui pointed out with his genius observation skills.

"Now that you mention it, Marui-kun, one of them is sporting a bowl-haircut, not unlike Yangai-kun's." Yagyuu added.

"Hm? Oh they came to spy on us..." Niou contributed before heading back to the ice cream parlor. "I'm going to go back to my ice-cream. Marui, you're paying."

"Wait, what?!" Marui exclaimed, chasing after Niou.

"If Marui-senpai is paying….would that make the ice cream a prostitute?" Kirihara pondered out loud, completely ignoring the moving PLANTS that are currently discussing QUITE loudly what they've gathered.

"Apparently Niou buys lotion because he was formerly a monkey with very dry elbows."

"That would explain his occasional impish behavior."

"Indeed. He told me that he enjoyed seeing his monkey brethren flinging feces at people."

"That would explain his fascination with fart jokes…."

*whispers whispers*

"NO Kirihara-kun, where are you learning these things?" Yagyuu shouted over the whisperings.

"The internet…"

"Actually, that answers a lot…" Yagyuu sighed.

"Whatever, I want more ice cream! MARUI-SENPAI, YOU'RE PAYING!" Kirihara yelled. Marui replied with some rather inappropriate language that the author feels uncomfortable disclosing.

As for Yanagi and Inui…perhaps it's best if we just left them there. They seem to be enjoying the idea that Niou was a monkey.

AN: Okay, I really need a schedule. It's just so easy to be lazy in the summer. Again, sorry for making you guys wait a week. I shall try to improve my writing speed. That double post will come...eventually.

mcangel1976: I feel like the story is becoming dirtier as it goes on...I don't know how I feel about that. I couldn't help myself with the trojan jokes..whoops. I get excited to see what I'm going to do next as well. My mind somehow always surprises me with its weirdness.

CrimsonRed40: Why would you want to be alone when you're laughing your head off? Surely you'd want someone with you so that they can put it back on again. I'm not a doctor, but I think our heads are pretty important. Maybe get like a friend to duct tape it back on? I heard superglue is quite effective. I shall continue, and there is nothing you can do to stop me! Mwahahahaha...ha.

Crossroader32: When is it not awkward? Yagyuu is the older brother of the group, he has to clean up everyone else's messes. I love torturing Marui, it's one of my only joys in life...wow I have a sad life.

LainellaFay: Since it's Niou, one would assume that he probably knows the general idea of tampons...but you never know. Akaya and a dinosaur, that's a recipe for disaster or unintentional world domination.

celtic27fionn: WHOOO! I'm amusing people. I'm honestly surprised you guys have put up with me for such a long time. Maybe it's my stunning personality that is bringing you guys back?