A/N: Well guys, it's been two years. I lost the mojo, and then I got a job teaching and now all I want to do is write. It's strange, really.
The following morning was a long one; The Doctor and Clara sat in silence for a majority of the night, both too afraid to move in fear that they would ruin the moment. The Doctor, obviously distraught, continued to hang his head in disbelief. He occasionally got up to pace around the TARDIS, but would always return to the exact same spot he left – the spot right next to Clara in the middle of the kitchen.
Although Clara and The Doctor had been up all night, River and Danny seemingly slept like a bundle of logs. Neither the Doctor nor Clara heard a peep come from either bedroom at any time during the night. It was so lovely how neither of them seemed to notice when their loved ones were missing from their beds.
The morning crept into afternoon before River and Danny woke from their slumber. The juxtaposition between the way the two of them were handling the day, and how the Doctor and Clara were was almost comical. Danny and River were both in wonderful moods, were full of energy, and both seemed to be tremendously caught up on their beauty rest. Meanwhile, Clara and The Doctor had bags under their eyes, were sluggish, and both were more than slightly irritable.
Clara was incredibly aggravated with Danny. She could not seem to get past the day on the beach, nor could she understand why Danny was consistently comfortable without her by his side. Whether it was in bed, or on a distant planet, he always seemed to be fine without her. It not only made her question his loyalty, but also made her question whether or not he actually wanted the relationship.
Clara's face every time Danny entered the room was enough to tell anyone what was on her mind. She was annoyed with everything he did. Danny would come over and wrap her in a hug, and she was annoyed. Danny would offer to get her a cup of tea, and she was annoyed. Danny would look at other woman in front of her, and of course, she was annoyed. She still had feelings for him, how could she not after the time they had spent together, but he was constantly aggravated. Clara regularly had to remind herself that being aggravated was a necessary part of being in a relationship.
The truth was, Clara could see herself falling in love with Danny. However, it seemed as though he was doing things to get her mad on purpose. It was unfair. Clara felt as though she was putting a majority of the work into the relationship, when Danny was simply being Danny.
The Doctor was on a similar page with River. River had been popping in and out of his life for some time, and had always appeared only when the Doctor was ready to move on. He got the feeling that jealousy was the only reason she would ever come back to him, and being frank, he was not sure if he wanted that type of relationship, if you could even consider what they had a relationship at all. She was his wife, but sometimes it felt as if she never existed at all.
He chuckled for a moment.
If he told Clara about that thought, she would aggressively remind him that River was a ghost, and shouldn't exist at all.
Or maybe Clara didn't care anymore.
The thought of Clara not caring was almost too much for him to handle. His mind raced when he thought about all of the times that he could have lost her. And then he realized what was happening… he was completely over River. All of his thoughts were on Clara, and he was unsure of his ability to stop thinking about her. His mind was revisiting the memories they had together on a loop and they were impossible to shut off.
He knew that she was with Danny, but something inside of him could not force him to stop thinking about her. The horrible aching inside of him was wreaking havoc on his hearts, and he knew he was going to have to make the next move fast—so that he could hopefully build a future relationship with Clara. His plan? To let River down easily, while slowly regaining Clara's affection. He didn't exactly have any idea how to navigate through these steps, but he was sure he could make it work… probably,
A majority of the events that day were unremarkable. Much to the Doctor's disappointment, there were no planets to explore, no new adventures, and no people to meet. He was bored, which unfortunately gave him time to think about the excruciating circumstance he was currently in. His mind raced, and he thought about several ways to break the news to River without being heartless and cold.
He could plan an elaborate dinner to let her down easy… but that could be interpreted as romantic.
He could take her to her favorite planet and just leave her there… but that would be too harsh.
Or, he could just come out and break the news to her. All in all, that seemed like it was the best option.
The Doctor paced back and forth in his tiny room on the TARDIS for what seemed like hours, and ultimately got nothing accomplished. He waited for River to come back, and instead was met with lonely silence. He couldn't help but wonder what Clara was doing at that current moment. Was she with Danny? Was she happy? Were they laughing and having fun together?
After a few hours alone, his silence and overthinking was met with a loud "Sweetie!" booming from across the room. River appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Her presence made him tense up, and he was fidgeting profusely. He looked down at his shoes before stammering "R-River, w-we should talk".
Her mood instantly went from ecstatic to miserable. She looked at him firmly and replied, "Talk? About what?"
"Us" the Doctor replied, without missing a beat. Now that he had gotten his initial nerves out of his system, he seemed much more comfortable with the topic. "We can't keep doing this, River".
She looked alarmed. Although she kept a strong façade, the Doctor was aware of how much this must be hurting her.
"After all of this time, after everything we've done, this is how we end?" River's mouth was quivering, but the rest of her remained composed and collected.
The Doctor thought for a moment. He wanted to let her down easy, without hurting her feelings, but with enough impact for her to realize that this was their final adventure together. "Yes, River. You're a ghost—it's time for you to retire" was all the Doctor could muster the courage to say that would not be extremely hurtful.
River simply smirked, shook her head disapprovingly, and turned around to disappear into the depths of the TARDIS. Although the Doctor could not be sure if she would reappear any time soon, he was now at peace with the thought that River had moved on as a ghost, and he could now focus his energy on attempting to win back the trust and affection of Clara.
Clara's day was equally unremarkable. For a majority of the day, she sat down and listened to the "exciting" events of Danny Pink's life. He told her all about what he was going to teach his students once he was back on Earth, where he would go if he had his own TARDIS, and how that one girl from the beach wasn't even "that" pretty, he was just interested because she was blonde.
Clara would have paid a lot of money to be anywhere but in that room with Danny. However, she knew that the Doctor was probably in the midst of a romantic encounter with River, and she did not want to get in the middle of that.
She recalled the days that she was cooped up in the room next door as The Doctor and River were in the midst of their sexual escapades. She remembered how it absolutely crushed her, and how she would never put herself in that situation again.
So, she listened to Danny pink tell his incredibly boring, and somewhat demoralizing, stories about things that did not matter.
Once Danny had gotten exhausted from telling his stories, he excused himself to find amusement elsewhere on the TARDIS. Finally, Clara was free to do what she wanted with her time. She immediately got up and trailed off to the library.
She immersed herself in the world of "Pride and Prejudice", and completely lost track of time. Before long, she was half way through the novel and several hours had passed. This was one of the unusual days on the TARDIS that they actually had not done anything in regards to travel, and to say that she was not used to it was an understatement. She was unsure what to do on the TARDIS with all the extra time, so she decided to explore. She figured that she would either run into someone, or find something exciting.
Clara walked through the pool, the kitchen, multiple bedrooms, and numerous rooms filled with nothing but clutter. She knew that the clutter must be important for something, but to her it just seemed like a mess. She attempted to tidy it up a bit, but eventually gave up on the mission as it was just too complicated for her to figure out. Plus, the Doctor would be furious if she moved something that he eventually needed.
As she continued through the TARDIS, she passed several doors, none of which meant anything to her… until she passed the mysterious room that The Doctor would go in when he was upset. Only this time, the door was ajar- and Clara was extremely curious.
She snuck in slowly, carefully, quietly. She was sure to be cautious of any noises around her, or anyone approaching. Yet, it certainly seemed like she was alone.
As she turned on the light, a large room was revealed. The room was plastered with pictures of The Doctor's memories, previous companions, and unforgettable adventures. She smiled as she thought of all the happiness the Doctor must feel when he enters this room. She now knew why it was so important to him. It had all of the important and joyful moments of his life painted on a large canvas all around the room. It would be calming and enjoyable for anyone to look at.
Yet, as she was looking more carefully, she realized that one specific area was dedicated to something completely different: a checklist. This checklist was written on the wall with multiple bullet points in an elaborate chart. On one side read the name 'River Song', and on the other 'Clara Oswald'. Clara knew why she was not allowed to go in the room now… the Doctor was making a pros and cons list of herself and River to see who the most viable option for a romantic partner was. An excerpt from her side read:
Clara Oswald
Pros: Adorable, Funny, Sassy, Sarcastic, Great tea maker, Fantastic Conversationalist
Cons: Short, Bossy, and Egotistical.
Both Clara and River's lists were extremely long, and they were both extremely insensitive. Clara could not imagine that River had any idea about the checklist. If River had known about it, there was no way that she would have stayed with the Doctor. Clara was becoming absolutely furious when all of a sudden a voice rang out from the back of the room.
"Clara!" shouted The Doctor, "What are you doing!"
"Shit".