A/n: there is no excuse for how awful I have been in updating this story! I am so sorry I have not givin up on this story! I really love and would like feedback from you lovely readers the good the bad and the ugly. I am always open for your in put one-shot you might like me to write, things from the show would like me to change or keep. I love getting feed back and would love to know what you guys think about my writing and my characters. Please check out my other story Strange Little Gilbert if you haven't yet! Thank you and enjoy :)
"Ahh" I heard Jeremy scream but it only made me more excited and attack harder. I could feel his body struggling underneath me, but I couldn't stop until I couldn't hear him breathe or feel him struggle. I felt my body change I was no longer this animal I was myself naked kneeling next to Jeremy's mutilated body. I was covered in his blood and my tears my body was shaking I couldn't believe what I had just done or how much I liked doing it.
"No Jeremy, No please no!" I screamed as I tried shaking his body but nothing happened his body was torn to shreds blood covered him and the ground. I heard leaves move behind I didn't have to turn around to know it was her.
"I don't know how many times or ways you have to see it before you understand" she said her voice calm which made me even more agitated. In my anger I stood and faced her I was now wearing a simple white dress that covered my body. My fist clenched and shaking I couldn't control the anger I was feeling inside.
"Why do you keep torturing me like this?!" I screamed at her but Marie just stood in front me looking calm as she always does.
"Lillian I am in your head I know what you think and what you feel you still love this boy. You need to let go of him completely or you will bring his death. He is not your destiny!" she finally cracked and yelled at me. She had been visiting my dreams more recently lately each one I killed Jeremy is more vicious ways I would ask her why and she would calmly say "Don't fight your destiny"
"I don't give a damn about some destiny or great love you keep blabbing about! This is Jeremy my best friend since before I could talk he is my first love! I still love him and want him those feeling won't go away overnight and these nightmares you give don't help!" I yelled back at her with all the venom I could muster.
"I am only trying to save you Lillian… This boy will only cause you pain as you will cause him. Lillian I only have what is best for you in my intentions never to harm you" she said gaining control of herself again.
"You have been in my head manipulating my dreams for months now and I don't why! Why should I trust you? How do I know what you are telling me is going to happen?" I ask her trying to get the answers she has been holding out. She turned away from me facing the falls that was next to us I hadn't even noticed where we were till then. She took a deep breath admiring the water before she started to speak, I never took my eyes off of her.
"I guess I owe you some answer maybe this will help you to understand" she paused looked me in the eyes before turning back to the water she seemed to glow in the moonlight. "We are family Lillian bound by a curse. The Lockwood women share a curse the men don't" she was being cryptic my eyebrows knotted in confusion.
"What are you talking about?" I couldn't help but ask
"It will all make sense when the time is right Lillian. You are the first female Lockwood descendant in over a century. The women in our family are all born with a destiny and there are consequences if you don't follow it." She said a tormented look on her face.
"Is that what happened to you?" I ask she nods her head
"I loved him more than any man I had I had ever met in my life. I didn't believe my warnings either but when I had finally met him it felt as if I was complete" She had a ghost of a smile on her face as she remember her former love. "However I was already married as was arranged by my father he wanted me to run away with him said his family could take care of me. I couldn't leave. It would bring shame to my family my brother George had known what was going on between me and this man who was not my husband." She had a pained look on her face I felt sorry for her. "I had never known true happiness till he came into my life Lillian I did not love my husband he was cruel man. My brother forced my love to leave me behind it crushed me when he left I was not the same after that. My husband however would not stand for his wife mourning another man he killed me and told everyone I had done it to myself." She said her voice as cold as the look on her face.
"Because you didn't follow your destiny your husband killed you?" I asked she merely nodded this was a lot to take in she was my ancestor all the women in my family had a destiny.
"I believe I have told you enough take my warning Lillian" she said before she disappeared.
I woke up from my dream cold sweat on my forehead and an overwhelming feeling a dread in the pit of my stomach. When did life start getting so complicated? The past few weeks everyone seemed to be acting strange. I almost never saw Elena without one of the Salvatore brothers anytime I try to talk to her she comes up with some excuse and takes off. Bonnie seems to be in her own world since her grams died we hung out while her and Elena were fighting. Since they made up we hardly spoke now she was acting weird just like Elena. Kacey hasn't spoken to me in almost two weeks said she wants the really Lily back and didn't like who I was. She doesn't like me being sober while her and Andrew continue to party.
It seemed my only true friend was Caroline we have grown really close since Elena and Bonnie have been acting so weird. Then there was Jeremy he kept trying to talk to me but I would keep telling him I wasn't ready to listen. I still love him and I miss him so much but when I see him and Anna it still causes me pain. I hear a knock at my door which takes me out of my thoughts thankfully.
"Hey Lils! You up I need your advice" I her Tyler say
"Yeah I'm up come on in" I say sitting up in my bed as he walked in wearing a confederate soldier uniform I couldn't help but giggle. "Are you saying goodbye before you head off to war?" I joked pressing my hand to my heart fake tearing up he rolled his eyes at me.
"Ha ha you are so funny. Seriously I have to wear this tomorrow for the parade and I need your honest opinion on it." He asked me as he straightened out the worn looking jacket and turning around so I could see the whole outfit.
"Looks great Ty very vintage" I complimented him trying my best to smile. He sighed making his way over to sit and the end of my bed.
"What is it?" he asked
"What are you talkin' about?" I ask trying to avoid talking but Tyler can always read me like a book.
"Whatever it is that has got you so upset you can't lie to me Tazy" he said smiling at me
"It's nothing really, everyone seems to be acting strange lately even mom and dad are more absent than normal. Kacey isn't speaking to me because I won't party with her I thought she was my best friend I don't get it. On top of all this I keep having these really creepy nightmares where I turn into some kind of animal and attack people in the woods!" I said frustrated running a hand through my messy hair.
"I don't know what's going on with anything anymore Ty." I said letting out a ragged breath. Tyler moved to wrap an arm around my shoulder and rub my arm calming me down
I rest my head on his shoulder.
"I don't know what to tell you kid this is all part of high school. You grow up and grow apart from some people if Kacey truly is your friend she will make this up to you. I didn't know you were having those nightmares I wouldn't worry it's probably nothing" he said trying to comfort me but it didn't work I knew something was wrong and something big was coming. "Alright you get some sleep we have to head out early in the morning" he gave me a kiss on my temple before leaving my room.
Tyler left me alone with just my thoughts about everything my friends, my parents, Jeremy, and my dreams. What was this great love some destiny I need to follow or I would die or Jeremy would die. I couldn't handle all of this I felt like I was losing my mind and no one could help me. I decided I had to do something I quickly grabbed my phone and dialed the number before I could talk myself out of it. He picked up on the third ring I couldn't help the smile on my face I missed him so much.
"Lily?" he asked with shock in his tone
"Can you meet me at the falls?" I ask keeping my voice as calm as possible
"Sure I can be there in ten minutes are you okay?" he asks sounding so worried for me.
"I just need to talk to you I will see you in ten minutes" I said quickly before hanging up. I looked over my clock it read 11:15pm grabbing my jacket hanging off my desk chair I walked out my balcony doors and climbed down the wall. Once my feet hit the ground I ran into the woods next to my house heading for the falls. I got there in no time he wasn't here yet so I sat on the log on the edge of the water just watching the calm water. I wasn't alone for long I heard him walk up and sit next to me he was watching the water like I was. I took a deep breath trying to figure out what I would say.
"I miss you" I said in a low voice I almost thought he didn't hear me till he reached out and grabbed my hand squeezing it.
"I miss you so much Lily that was the stupidest and biggest mistake of my life" he said.
"I don't want to feel this pain anymore Jer. I love you and it kills me not talking to you I want to move past this be how we were before we dated best friends no matter what" I said my voice shaky as I try to hold in my tears.
"Lily I love you and want you to know I'm not with Anna it is what I have been trying to tell you after you caught us I realized what a mistake it was. Then they found Vicki's body and you still wouldn't talk to me. Look there are a lot of things you don't know and I can't tell you. Anna has been a good friend and helping with everything going on." He said turning to face me I see the sadness in his eyes.
"God I am so sick of all the secrets lately Elena and Bonnie never talk to me and Caroline anymore. Mom and dad have been even more distant and cryptic now you tell me there are things I can't know! Jeremy I am falling apart here tell me what's going on!" I yell pulling my hands away from him.
"I can't it's not safe for you to know" he said sighing hanging his head. I let out a bitter laugh shaking my head.
"Safe? What does that word even mean anymore? You're telling me it is not safe to know why everyone in my life is acting crazy. I'm having these nightmares telling me it's not safe for me to even be near you! But because I love you so much it actually is causing me more pain to stay away!" I yell frustrated running a hand through my wavy brown hair.
"What do you mean you have been having nightmares?" Jeremy asks looking extremely concerned about me now.
"Yes for months now they are awful Jeremy I become this animal and kill you in horrible ways no matter how much I try to fight it. Then this women shows up tells me you're not my destiny that if I stay close with you fight it I will cause your death." I explain in a weak voice he wraps his arms around me pulling me into his chest. I wrap my arms around his waist and hold tight breathing in the scent of him off his shirt a few tears slip. He gives me a kiss on the top of my forehead.
"We will get through this I promise one day I will be able to explain everything to you. I just need you to trust me okay when it's safe I will tell you everything. Do you trust me not to let anything happen to you?" He asks taking my face in his hands running his thumbs across my cheeks.
"I trust you" I say in a whisper he has a relieved look on his face his eyes move down to my lips and back to my eyes. I stare at him with the same intensity as he leans in, I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of butterfly's exploding in my stomach at his kiss. Our lips move in sync as if they were never apart a smile makes it way to my lips as I rest my forehead against his when we break apart.
"I love you" he mutters holding me tight to him. I feel safe in his arms but in the back of my head I hear Marie's voice nagging me not to do this. I ignore it close my eyes and just enjoy my moment with Jeremy.