CH14
"Katherine, that's wonderful! You have a piece of Richard that you get to keep for the rest of your life. Maybe he'll have Richard's eyes and you'll get to see him in your child's eyes every day.
You'll get to remember Richard every day and how much you loved him, and get to convey all that love to your child. Teach him or her all you know, ….. and we have pictures.
And we'll all be here for you dear; you should know that by now. Plus you'll have built-in baby sitters. Your friend Lanie will keep him or her healthy and your detective friends at work will protect him from harm.
You are definitely not alone in this Katherine. Not anymore." Martha prayed she was reaching her, thru all the pain she had been forced to go thru.
Kate's crying slowed and she wiped away some of her own tears and looked at Martha. She had a piece of Castle. Maybe Castle wasn't completely gone. But was it enough?
"Come on dear, let's get you cleaned up. We need to start dinner, you're eating for two now." Martha helped Kate to stand and walked her over to the lavatory.
"I'll have Alexis get dinner started and you can help her finish." Martha pats Kate and snatches up the pregnancy test sticks and retreats from the bathroom.
Kate had finished washing and was just putting the towel back on the bar and was looking into the mirror. "Castle will never get to see his child." And suddenly Kate's tears were back in full force.
"He'll be beautiful Kate." A voice tells her.
"CASTLE?" Kate whips her head around and runs out into the bedroom. Then walks to the open door leading to the living room and looks out, and then returns to the bathroom.
"Great! I'm pregnant and losing my mind." Kate couldn't bear to look at herself in the mirror, she was a mess. And just as she starts to re-wash the tears away. "MOM"S PREGNANT!" Filters its way into the bathroom from the kitchen.
Kate had just finished drying her face again when suddenly Alexis slams into her from behind and wraps her arms around her waist. "You're going to have dad's baby?" Alexis sounded happy.
"I swear mom, I'll help you. I'll be the best big sister anyone has ever had. … He, .. or she is going to be the most loved child on this planet. … I swear." Alexis squeezed Kate tight.
Kate did her best to twist herself around, which wasn't easy considering the hold Alexis had on her. When she finally succeeded Kate wrapped her arms around Alexis and squeezed too.
A few minutes later. "Come on, let's fix dinner. Both of us are hungry." Kate tells Alexis.
Alexis releases her hold on Kate and grins and nods her head.
As they walk hand in hand to the kitchen. "We eat healthy from now on. I catch you eating take-out and I'll have Lanie slap you silly." Alexis warns Kate. Getting Kate to laugh. Something that she hadn't done for some time lately.
'I need to tell Lanie.' Suddenly being pregnant had its own set of problems. What was Lanie going to do? Shoot that was a stupid question. "I better buy ear plugs before I tell Lanie."
"Lanie is going to be so happy for you." Alexis had heard that and knew exactly what Lanie was going to do.
"Did I just say that out loud?" Kate really was losing it. Getting Alexis to nod her head.
Kate and Alexis were just returning from a quick shopping trip. Alexis had the Quisinart and Kate had the box with the 6-quart electric ice cream maker. Alexis put her box on the counter and ran back downstairs for the car to get the ice cream fixings.
Kate being pregnant was cause for celebration. They had plans to make ice cream that night using the big 6-quart unit.
Dinner had been about going shopping for nursery furniture, a rocker for Kate to sit in. Changing table, diapers, breast pump, baby wipes, bottles, baby monitor, lotion, baby powder, baby clothes, ….
"Good thing I'm rich, this is going to cost a fortune." Kate hadn't really thought about what it took to raise a baby.
"And a car seat and a baby carrier and a burping bib and a, …." Alexis was on a role and didn't appear to be stopping anytime soon.
"Whoa, slow down. How about we make a doctor's appointment to confirm I'm pregnant first, and then go on a shopping spree." Kate needed it to slow down. It was too much too fast.
Ice cream was done and put away all except for the two bowls that Kate and Alexis had while sitting on the sofa next to each other while watching a movie. Martha had excused herself and gone to her room.
Kate made an appointment for a pregnancy test in two days' time and had decided to go back to work the day after taking Alexis down to PP1 to meet with Steve, Castle's lawyer to go over the paperwork for Alexis to work with Lanie for the next year, with a salary.
Kate was getting better and was hoping that going back to work would bring things back to normal. At least a little.
The day before her doctor's appointment Kate was getting bored. Alexis had found Kate sitting at the breakfast bar nursing a tea and picking at a bowl of fruit. Health food and it was driving Kate nuts. What she wanted was an artery hardening big fat juicy (meaning greasy) burger and fries.
"Laser tag?" Alexis offered looking at Kate mindlessly doing nothing.
"Sounds like a plan." Kate was willing.
Alexis retrieved the vests and guns while Kate pulled the blinds to make it darker. Since the sun was out it wasn't going to get that dark inside.
They were all suited up and had tested the system and were now standing in front of each other.
They both had on a very serious face, the other was going down! With a nod they ran for opposite ends of the loft.
"You are going to join our ancestors today Wednesday." Kate calls out.
"You first Morticia." Alexis countered.
Castle had introduced Kate to laser tag early on. Actually Kate had seen Castle and Alexis playing earlier when she came for a visit one day. Long before she had fallen in love with Castle. Though if Kate was truthful to herself she might have been falling in love with him even then.
There were even times when Kate and Alexis had played without Castle. Though those days were few in number. Kate and Alexis had mutually decided on names from the Adams Family. They had only once convinced Castle to be Gomez.
Castle wanted to rule the universe. Gomez didn't sound sinister enough to him.
It took a number of shots, along with a few body rolls but Alexis's vest was finally lite up like a Christmas tree. "Gotcha!" Kate called out in victory.
"How did you do that? Even dad couldn't make that shot." Alexis whined like her father did when he lost.
"That's because I'm a cop." Kate states proudly.
"Best two out of three?" Alexis offers and promptly shoots Kate and runs off.
Kate and Alexis were sitting in the doctor's office, waiting. Kate didn't know they were going to find out today, but hopefully something.
A young woman not much older than Alexis opened a door. "Mrs. Castle?" Kate and Alexis followed her.
This very young lady took Kate's weight, took her blood pressure and counted out her heart rate. Then started asking a bunch of questions about medications she was taking. Did she smoke or drink? How often?
"The doctor will be in to see you shortly." And she left.
Shortly turned out to be 30 minutes, placing her actual visit one hour behind the time scheduled.
The doctor went over everything the young lady had already done, which Kate took as a waste of time.
"You want a pregnancy test. Have you done any of the home tests using a urine sample?"
"Three actually, all different manufacturer's." Kate tells her.
"And I presume you got a positive result which is why you are here."
"Yes." Kate answers.
"I take it this is your daughter so this would be your second child?"
"Alexis is adopted, she is the daughter of my deceased husband. This will be my first child." Kate hated being reminded that Castle was gone.
Alexis however took Kate's hand and squeezed. She didn't like being reminded her father was gone either.
"We'll take a blood sample from you on the way out. We should have the lab results back in a couple of days. Do you have any idea how far along you may be?"
Kate really didn't, she was kinda hoping the doctor could tell her. "Three weeks minimum, maybe a little more." Chicago was about 3 weeks ago give or take.
"That is soon enough to get a false positive on your home pregnancy tests, however since you used three different brands it's not likely.
I'm going to send in the ultrasound machine. If you are only 3 weeks along it is not likely we will see anything, however if you are say 7 to 9 weeks along we can possible even give you a date."
Sounded good to Kate.
A different lady wheeled in the device and plugged it in. "Lay down for me and lift your shirt."
"This is going to be cold, and I'm sorry, it's just the way it works." Kate did flinch a little.
While the lady shoves the wand she is holding around pushing deep into Kate's stomach area.
All Kate and Alexis saw was what looked like snow. "I think this is your baby." And she points to the monitor. The image changes as she moves the wand. "See this speck here? It's really hard to make out and I've done a lot of these." She shoves the wand around a little more.
Then lifts it and hands Kate some wipes. "You can use these to clean up the gel. …. I'd say you are 3 maybe 4 weeks in at most. Really too early to see anything. Certainly not enough to tell you the sex. That will be weeks from now. I'd print out some pictures but there really isn't anything to see.
We can try this again in about a month and I can probably show you something then and give you some pictures to take home with you.
I think the doctor wanted a blood sample from you for testing." And escorts Kate and Alexis out and over to the grey chair for the blood draw.
The really young lady comes back. "We are getting some blood for a pregnancy test I'm told."
"Yes." Kate kept it simple.
The young lady took the blood and it was relatively painless. "We also want a urine sample. You'll find cups and a marker in the restroom around the corner. After you have tagged the cup place it behind the little door and you can check out, out front."
Kate and Alexis were gone soon after. "How about we celebrate?" Kate offers. Getting a nod and a smile from Alexis.
Kate and Alexis are standing outside a place that specializes in burgers. "KATE?" Alexis knew this was not healthy.
"Oh come on Alexis! PLEASE? The baby is half Castle and you know how much he loved cheese burgers. Just one? It won't kill me." Oh my god she was whining like Castle did. That man has contaminated me. And knocked me up.
Kate had her burger, fries and a shake while Alexis had found the most healthy item on the menu, which wasn't easy.
Kate had just taken her first bite and had grease dripping down onto her fries and had it dripping down her chin. "Hhhhmmmm!" Kate was loving it after all the good for you food Alexis had her eating lately. The hot dogs she had at the stadium were the closest thing to being bad for you she had, had lately.
"Now what?" Kate asks Alexis.
"Baby store? …. We don't have to buy anything, but if we look it might help you figure out what you like." Alexis offers. Problem was she didn't have her father's credit card anymore and couldn't buy things for Kate like she wanted to.
Alexis looked up the closest baby store using her phone. "Can I help you?"
"Can we just look?" Kate asks.
"Of course, let me know if you have questions." And the sales lady backs off.
"Hey Kate how about this one it looks nice." Alexis pointed out a crib she had found.
Kate shook her head and made a face. "Nice shape I guess, but its way too dark. It's not a prison."
"That style is available in a number of colors and wood types. This one just happens to be a dark mahogany." The sales lady offers from where she is standing still far away. "The pad also comes in a number patterns and solid colors."
It gave Kate an idea, but they moved on. Moving to another section they found bottles and bags. Next to them were breast pumps.
"Breast feeding provides nutrients that baby formulas can't duplicate, plus it helps you lose the baby weight you gained and it helps a mother bond with her child." The sales lady offers.
They move to another section. This one has strollers and cars seats. Alexis starts pushing a big unit with double wheels at all four locations while Kate picks up a small car seat.
"You only need a stroller about the time they are ready to crawl. As for car seats, you want one that installs easy. If it is too complicated to use, you won't." The sales lady offers.
Across from the bottles and other supplies they came across tubs. "Some mothers like the idea of using them. They fear they will drown their baby by accident it they use a tub, while others have to use them because they have no tub. Plus it helps with their back, so they don't have to bend over a tub." The sales lady offers.
"The tub in the on-suite is huge, it's one of the things I like about it." Kate comments.
"You are likely going to want one then." The sales lady offers. "At least for the first few months after birth. …. When are you due?" The sales lady asks not seeing any bump, and noticed that Kate was thin.
"About 8 months give or take." Kate responds still barely sure she is pregnant with Castle's child.
"You'll do fine dear. Every mother glows with that certain pride that she's having a baby, and when you see him or her for the first time, you're in love. For the rest of your life. … You and your husband will do fine." She did however notice that Kate was wearing a ring.
Kate lifted up her hand to look at her ring. Yeah, she was married and her child would have its father.
"Ready to go Kate?" Alexis walked up and took Kate's arm, snapping Kate out of what she was thinking.
"Come back when you are further along and I would like to help you." The sales lady offers,
"Thanks." Kate lets Alexis take her away and back home. Tomorrow was a work day. The first one in almost 3 weeks.
The sales lady watched them go. She had seen the haunted look in Kate's face just after she mentioned her husband. Something was wrong, just not sure what. "Hopefully she'll be back. She looked like she could use the help."
Kate cooked dinner again and continued to teach Alexis everything she knew.
Alexis had missed the last of her school year and a talk with the school board had shown it was too late now to make it up. Schools were closed and the teachers were all on summer vacation. The only option she had open to her was summer classes to make up the time.
And Alexis was going to do it. Her father had left her money just for college and she was keeping her dream of college early. But with him gone she started to re-think where she was going to go.
She found she hated the idea of leaving Kate. Kate was all she had now and wanted to spend as much time with her as she could.
Kate dropped Alexis off at 1PP and watched her meet up with Steve so they could go over Alexis being hired. It was all Alexis had talked about on the car ride. Alexis was so looking forward to this. Kate thought she sounded excited about it.
"How are you going to handle working and your summer school?" Kate was curious what Alexis was thinking. Not really thinking like a parent just yet or she would be worried Alexis was taking too much on.
"It's only 2 classes twice a week, it'll be easy. It won't interfere with my work. …. I can do this." Alexis couldn't let Kate find an excuse for Alexis not to work next to Kate, or at least as close as she could get.
Kate stared at her for a minute. "Ok, but if your grades suffer you're sticking to school work. Deal?" Kate kinda wanted her there too. Castle gave her something to look forward to with her job, she was hoping that having Alexis there would fill that void.
Since she had to wait for 1PP to be open Kate was arriving a little later than normal for her.
The second Kate stepped off the elevator she was greeted by everyone she met on the floor making her way to her desk.
"Beckett, you're looking good." Espo had spotted her while Ryan stepped out of the break room with coffee in his hand. "Beckett, how are you feeling?" Both were happy to see her.
"Hi guys, I'm doing fine. Two weeks in the Hamptons turned out to be a good idea." Kate was feeling better.
"You sure three weeks are long enough. Castle's funeral is in a couple of days." Espo was still worried about her. His mind still saw her curled up on the bed shut off from the rest of the world.
"I need to work Javi, sitting at home doing nothing is driving me insane. …. Have we got a case?" Kate drops her bag at her desk but there was something changed. It felt wrong, really wrong.
Before Espo could answer her question. "Where is Castle's chair?" It was missing, that's what was wrong about her space.
"WHERE THE HELL IS CASTLE'S CHAIR?" Kate yells out loud enough that the third floor could have heard her.
"Beckett." Espo started to try and explain.
"I'm going to go down the street to get some coffee. Castle's chair better be here when I get back or someone dies. … DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!?" Kate stormed off to the elevator and all but broke the down button hitting it so hard.
The second the elevator door closed the fourth floor looked like a version of Keystone Kops; The term has since come to be used to criticize any group for its mistakes, particularly if the mistakes happened after a great deal of energy and activity, or if there was a lack of coordination among the members of the group.
Everyone was going everywhere trying to find the right chair with Espo and Ryan rejecting various chairs for being the wrong one.