I don't know.

I don't know when this sick, twisted life of ours started.

I've show you our memories. I've show you our sweet moments together, the times we've shared, the ones riddled without tragedy and sadness, however few they may be.

I've shown you everything I could possibly have thought of.

And for you, who've been watching. You, who've been waiting all this time, with nary a dream or nightmare, please.

Please, listen.

Fallen was a masochistic organization that engaged in self-depravation and sadistic rituals. Since the Renaissance, the philosophers, scholars, and scientists have been looking for ways to achieve a concept called "immortality", a term used to describe a being that could never die, no matter how hard they tried. The founders of the group have taken children from mental asylums, hospitals, homes, churches, orphanages, anywhere conceivable that could present the vague idea of innocence, to use as test subjects. From what I could understand, children's brains were incredibly versatile, and although very weak, their nervous systems showed more promise than any other age group, a blank slate, they used to say. They devised experiments, conducted research, studied every possible notion that was available during that time, but unfortunately, they were empty handed after each and every trial.

However, after decades went by, and still no sign of progress being made with the children they've kidnapped, many of these men searched for alternatives to abandon the trials, from reporting to the police, to calling to question on whether or not the experiments were ethical. Because a majority of these men actually had consciences, they abandoned the project altogether, refusing to delve any further in what was forbidden. They reasoned that whatever was mortal should stay mortal; there was no human tactic possible to extend a human life beyond what was necessary, and even if they there was, the creature would no longer be human. They persuaded donors to stop funding their research, and in the end, managed to shut down the project, proclaiming that there was no such thing as a "human angel."

Yet for the very few scholars who remained, for the few who were convinced that there was a way, for the few who have yet to lose their patience with "immortality", they simply brushed aside their colleagues' blasphemy. And rather than create an angel, they began to obsess over the idea of giving birth to a manmade demon.

As technology became more and more advanced, with new discoveries made, old discoveries abandoned for more prominent theories, the next generation of researchers managed to discover a substance, one that could reverse the aging process of a normal human being. Though the compound was still being broken down, the scientists managed to uncover enough to simply embed the substance into a living creature, producing what could be their intended goal. After countless more experiments, and more kidnappings which left a trail of living corpses, they finally managed to get the compound to work, manipulating its contents and developing what was, perhaps, a more vain version of human pride. I imagine it was a happy day for those scholars.

It all came crashing down when they came across one particular child. A girl, age nine, by the name of Amaryllis Nite.

She was born as a result of rape, in the Bethlehem Royal Hospital located in London. She was abused by the doctors; sexual assault, starvation, emotional, mental, and physical abuse, all of which culminated into a girl who was barely clinging to her own, pitiful life. By the time Fallen came to her, some of the researchers wondered if she was capable of handling even the simplest of procedures.

It seems, however, they were wrong.

After they removed her from the asylum's care, she became a special test subject, simply because she was stronger than any other, could take more than the rest of the test subjects could ever hope to achieve. She was more determined, more willing to go through long periods of torture, and suicidal experiments, if only to prove her worth to her newfound family. Eventually, they gave her the substance, and continued doing this for a while, before finally, she stopped aging, age 16.

From then on, she became a slave to the doctors and researchers. She was probably confused, I'd imagined, wondering why her wonderful family would treat her in such a cruel manner. Nevertheless, she would always try and escape, doing whatever she could to make it back to the Hospital, only for Fallen to stop her in her tracks. She couldn't do anything to save herself, couldn't fend for herself, though she'd managed to slaughter everyone the researchers told her to. I heard that the only thing she could remember was her name, and how much she hated it. If someone called her by that name, it meant they were after her. They wanted to bring her back, no matter how much she struggled.

It was that desire, I believe that manifested in her heart. A desire long enough that, in the end, allowed Amaryllis to slaughter the entirety of that branch.

She had abnormal amounts of calcium in her bones at the time. Combined with telekinesis, she could manifest those minerals to the base of her shoulders, ripping apart the skin and creating skeletal wings for herself, something she used to impale a majority of the residents there. Because of the special chemicals the researchers used to enhance her nervous system, compounds not even I could identify, she could induce hallucinations that might as well have created a hell on earth for her victims. She could play with memories, rearranging them, destroying them, creating her own, sick illusions of what life might've been like if not for the sad hand fate had dealt her.

From then on, she went on to kill hundreds more, destroying the organization on both the outside and inside, while laying tens of thousands of children to rest, their eyes having long since lost their light. She destroyed everything in sight, murdering, shattering, decimating whatever she could get her hands on, and without the slightest regret. She wasn't like any of us. She was beautiful, and perfect, and merciless, with neither a heart nor a soul to question.

One anomaly Amaryllis possessed, however, was the fact that no matter how many years she went on killing, how many times she's cried or screamed or pounded the world around her into dust, she never lost her sanity. And because of that anomaly, it was safe to assume that, during that time frame, the Black Rose was born.

My name was Christoph, at the time.

I was born to a mother and to a father, both of whom I have never seen.

I also had three older siblings, all of whom I have seen.

There was Meredith, the eldest, and the sister whom I love very much. She had silky black hair, and warm, brown eyes that only served to become more and more compassionate as the years went by, as well as pale skin that seemed to shimmer in the dark, a light among lights. Though she was the best out of all of us, there were times when her kind heart would get in the way of things, such as refusing to kill a person whom she grew to care for, or allowing herself to become attached to the victim, to the point where she would revoke her mission altogether and plea for their lives. She received so many beatings, and even now I could still hear her screams. But nonetheless, though I never took after her nature, though I looked down on her for sparing a life or even showing kindness to the strangers who could very much kill us with one simple stab, I loved her. Even after her kind heart stole away her sanity, and she lay in that mental hospital alone, suffering from those painful experiments; even after she writhed agonizingly for hours on end, pleading helplessly for the doctors to stop, I adored her.

There was Belletrix, the second oldest. Unlike Mree, her hair was blond, rough, curly from the callous way she treated it. Her skin was slightly tanner than Mree's, and she possessed feral emerald eyes, along with a sharp gaze that could destroy any one who attempted to come after her position, whether they were worthy or not. She was protective of all of us, and would do whatever she could to try and prevent us from being punished. She wasn't reckless, but calm, levelheaded, always one step ahead of everyone, our parents included. I believe it was her strong will that led her to take over Fallen. She became commander, outwitting even the demons that took precedence on the battlefield, demolishing every destructive experiment that had gone awry. She never showed weakness to anyone, even to us, and I believe the only time she did lose her composure was when she found out Mree had been killed, in the very place she sent the eldest to get help. Even to this day, I don't think Belletrix recovered from that.

There was Nikolai, the second youngest, and my only brother. Though his raven hair was similar to Mree's, his royal azure eyes were what captivated the attention of the scientists, the doctors, and the army. He had deep, golden skin, and in his face there was an ingrained expression of solemnity and seriousness. He was always silent, watching from afar, tracking the person of interest halfheartedly one minute, then formulating whatever plan came to his head the next. He was cold and calculating, and he never bothered bringing his emotions into things. But though he was always so very rigid in public, when either I or Mree pestered him about something, he would drop his facade and aid us in our work, if only to lighten the mood. Out of all of us, he probably knew what it was like to live a normal life, considering how often he would have to go out into the world to seduce men and women alike, before killing them later. He knew how to act, and it was only through his help that I managed to create a variety of different characters for myself, how I managed to break free from the laboratories and killings. I owe my freedom to him, even if I wasn't as stable.

We never played with toys, or went to parties, or laugh with other kids from the playground. We never went to a normal school, as others have done before us, nor did we have a remarkably innocent childhood. We were, I believe, exposed to the cruel, realities of the world very instant we were born. There were times we couldn't comprehend the acts going on around us, the crimson bestowed upon our tiny, feeble hands before we could even grasp the concept of right and wrong. Albeit Mree, who suffered from that kindness, from a very early age we learned to cast away morals, and instead rely on careful logic in order to arrive at our decisions.

We were subject to the same trials the Black Rose had. We went through the same, gruesome experiments, some of which ended in disaster. To avoid another mistake, the scientists instilled in us obedience by using the older models to keep us in check, threatening us if we should get even the slightest bit suspicious of our loyalty. It worked, it seems, and though we weren't perfect like the witch, we were still successful. I stopped aging at around 15, Nikolai 18, Belletrix 27. Because Mree showed signs of insanity and naiveté, she had to undergo more testing, taking mental steroids to keep herself from falling off an already crumbling cliff, with neither a friend nor ally to keep to herself.

While my siblings trained in the combat units of Fallen, I pursued research and development. I took a keen interest to studying the Black Rose's development, so I used my influence as one of the "successes" to take over the project for studying that substance, which allowed humans to pursue the realm of immortality. Within that century, Meredith became head of military and warfare, which made getting the materials to do my research a bit less difficult. Belletrix was second-in-command, and during that time, Nikolai became one of Fallen's top murderers, building up a fortune used to fund the organization altogether.

We were like aristocrats, monarchs in our own time.

Some time later, I became the director and lead researcher of the European Branch in Krakow. I managed to access the files that created the Black Rose, and identify the compound the old fools used to create the first demon. I bought a few of the experiments from the organization, and used the facilities to test my own theories. I combined that compound with other chemicals, herbs, blood from the failed experiments, all of which managed to, somehow, stabilize themselves, their molecular counterparts neither falling apart nor absorbing each other. The amino acids, for some reason, were truly stable.

I injected my solutions into the children, some of whom were already brain dead by the time I got to them. Some would writhe agonizingly, painfully, and simply die altogether, while others were mesmerized by the fluids, obeying my every whim and order without the slightest hesitation. By the time Fallen caught word of my little hobby, I'd already managed to replicate a safer, albeit weaker, version of Amaryllis Nite, though of course, the little brats were nothing compared to my siblings and I. Fallen gave me my own department, my own team of researchers that would create these little demons, and from then on, I abided to my little pursuit. I've little memory of the faces I've used during that period.

There was one child, however, that caught my attention, a little blond girl who stayed silent the entire time my researchers probed her. She was empty, quiet, her cold, dead eyes giving way to no light, none whatsoever. Yet whenever there was a living animal around her, a smile would adorn her lips, and when we released her, she would hunt that animal down and kill it. She would be crying, muttering incoherent words while she sat there in blood, with that same smile on her face. And since then, I called her Arisé.

As time passed, the girl grew more and more erratic. Oftentimes I would find her sitting somewhere alone, with that dazed, dreamy expression on her face, with nary a soul in sight. She would stare up at the ceiling, her hands around the cage, as she shook the bars, tiny whimpers escaping from her lips. At first, I thought nothing of it; she did, after all, stop aging, and the pains that echoed throughout her body were natural. But as time passed on, and her sounds grew more incessant, I decided to take a look, only to reveal nothing out of the ordinary.

Three days later, I left for a conference in Bengal. There was a problem with the slave population there, and I, along with Nikolai, were going there to investigate. We thought nothing of it; it was just a simple routine check, and as soon as we were done, we could go back home. Nikolai had another royal to assassinate, so we couldn't afford to spend much time on that distraction.

It hadn't even been a few hours that I left, when word had gotten out that Arisé had escaped.

It'd been almost 200 years since Fallen's collapse. Even as I look back, I can't very well say I regret my decisions. The children I've experimented on, the lives I've taken, all of whom were dead the moment they arrived on my doorstep; in the end they were all unresisting, lambs to a slaughter that could never hope to contribute to their twisted, cruel societies. I've no idea what they wanted me to do, whether it was to kill them, or to use them to create the ideal soldiers, or as puppets for my siblings. They never told me anything, and I never bothered to ask, a concept that I still wonder about.

I sometimes ask myself if their families would want to see them this way, if that familial bond between members did, indeed, exist. Did parents offer the unconditional love they promised their child, or is it just instinct to protect the offspring? Was one mistake all it took to destroy a relationship, no matter how good it was before, no matter what the cost was in the end? Was family really tat important, even if the children were as useless as they were now? Would they be just a waste of space?

I asked Akiza about the notion once. She simply smiled, and requested to never bring up the subject again. After that, she took Alexis and I out for dinner.

Jaden Yuuki

Thorn to the Black Rose