Destination: Almost Perfect

Last Request

Slow down, Lie down,
Remember it's just you and me.
Don't sell out, bow out,
Remember how this used to be.
I just want you closer,
Is that alright?
Baby let's get closer tonight
Grant my last request,
And just let me hold you.
Don't shrug your shoulders,
Lay down beside me.
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere,
But one last time let's go there,
Lay down beside me –

"Last Request"

By Paolo Nutini

Mark cradles Kalen in his arms, burying his face in her hair. He can't help but breathe in deeply, trying to remember the smell of her shampoo. As she sleeps he traces his hands over her body, remembering the feel of her breasts in his hands, how soft the skin of her thigh is; how her muscles twitch (even when she's sleeping) as he flicks at her clit. He refrains from doing anything more, knowing that she would wake up if he were to. He presses a kiss to her temple and slips out of bed, watching her roll towards the dip in the bed where he had been lying and snuggle against the bed sheets as if the sheets were made of Mark. As he finishes pulling his shirt over his head, he pulls the covers up around her and kisses her hair, leaving the letter he wrote her on the bedside table. He slips out of the hotel room, finally taking a deep breath once he's in the hallway. Her things have been moved back in to her dorm, he made sure of that yesterday. He knows where she's going in the morning, and he can't deal with it again. Heading to the elevator, he heads up two floors to the hotel room he'd reserved for himself earlier in the day, ignoring the vibrating of his phone in his pocket. He knows it isn't Kalen, she sleeps like a log; it's probably Stevens or Grey. He gave them his number when they patched him up after Derek socked him seven days before. He figured he was going to need friends, he just didn't know that they would need to be his friend just as badly.

He slips in to the hotel room and crawls in to bed, turning off his phone without checking to see who called. The argument they had when she was still in the hospital plays over and over in his head as he falls asleep, tossing and turning and twisting the sheets in to a ball by morning.

"I don't understand. How can you not want this?"

"How can you?" Kalen sighs, running her fingers through her hair. "Mark I'm not ready for a baby. I can't manage like Mom can."

"You're more like your mom than you think." He says softly, not sure if he means it in a good or bad way.

"I can't raise a child and go to college. I knew that the last time I was pregnant." He watches as she scrunches the blankets up in her hands, her face crinkling. "I still cannot believe I'm pregnant again. I've got to be the most fertile person ever."

"I doubt that." Alex Karev comes in, ignoring Mark's blatant stare that says 'Leave you moron'. "Your mom had a patient that was having her seventh child not that long ago."

Kalen laughs. "Well I suppose I should be glad I'm not having my seventh." Mark smiles a little but it fades as Karev goes to draw blood and she squeezes the interns hand instead of Mark's. Kalen had never been a fan of needles, and it was obvious that hadn't changed. Mark goes to hold her hand, but she balls her hand in to a fist, a subtle way of telling him to back the fuck off.

"You should be." Karev smiles and the three of them sit in relative silence while he finishes drawing the blood and then leaves.

Mark shifts on the edge of the bed and sighs. "Kalen…"

"Mark, I'm not going to have the baby. I'm not."

"You're going to have an abortion?"

"Well if I have it, you'll want to keep it, and then I'll be reminded every day that I am forever tied to you."

Mark cringes. "Is that such a bad thing?"

"Unfortunately, it is."

Derek settles in bed next to Addison, lacing their fingers together wordlessly.

"You alright?" She asks, squeezing his hand but not looking up from the Cosmopolitan she's flipping through.

"Kalen wants to take some time off from school."

"I know. She told me."

"Does that mean she's going to keep the baby?"

Addison shakes her head, closing the magazine and looking at him over the top of her glasses. "No, Derek, it doesn't. She has an appointment tomorrow morning."

"An appointment?" Derek frowns. "I figured that you would be the one to do all of her prenatal."

"It's not prenatal, Derek." She takes her glasses off and sits Indian style on the bed, taking both of his hands in hers. "She's not having the baby at all."

"WHAT?" Derek's voice raising, causing Addison to jump a little and drop his hands. "Shepherds do not have abortions."

"Derek…"

"I don't care whose child it is, she will give it up for adoption or keep it. End of story."

"No, Derek." Addison sighs, reaching for his hands again. "You don't get to choose how the story ends."

"I don't want her to have an abortion."

"It isn't about what you want." Addison bites her lip, trying to find a way to explain what's happening to him without sounding like a horrible person. "Kalen is doing what's best for the child. She got lucky with Hadley; she'll get to watch her grow up, and as far as Hadley will ever know, Kalen is just her older sister. It's different with this one. You know Mark, he won't sign the adoption papers, and Kalen will look in to the eyes of that child every day, knowing she can't be the mother that it needs." Addison swallows, fighting back tears. "Not at this point in time anyway."

"Addie…why are you crying?"

"I don't want her to do this either, Derek. I—I almost did this with her, and I'm so glad that I didn't, but Kalen doesn't have anything figured out right now." She wipes her tears, sniffling. "She can't be a mother. You need to understand…she's trying to keep the child from living a life it hates."

Derek nods slowly and pulls Addison in to his arms, stroking her hair, careful not to press her still hurt shoulder too hard in to his body. "I don't understand, but I guess that's not that important. It's what Kalen needs right now."

Addison nods, wrapping her arms slowly around him. "It is. And she's going to move here. To Seattle." Addison looks up at him and smiles. "She wants to transfer to the University of Washington."

"But she's got a scholarship at Ithaca." He says, realizing as soon as he finishes that it was the wrong thing to say. Addison's eyes get sad again and he presses a kiss to the top of her head. "It doesn't matter. We'll get a bigger place, and she'll take some time off from school, and when she goes back, she can go to whatever school in Seattle she wants to."

Addison smiles again and kisses him gently. "You always have been a great dad."

"Except I punched her boyfriend."

Addison smirks. "Ex-boyfriend."

Kalen wakes up the next morning to her phone vibrating on the bedside table. As she rolls over to look at it, she realizes it's her hour warning for her appointment, and she sits up, looking around the room slowly. Pulling her glasses from the bedside table, she blinks away the sleep in her eyes and pulls the blanket tighter around her. Mark is gone, though she knew that much would be true. They broke up yesterday, which was probably better for them both, and the 'don't leave me' sex he'd offered had been wonderful, but she wasn't going to stay with him. She couldn't have his baby, and she couldn't stay in New York. While they had been in Seattle her things had been moved over to his place, so she was going to need to make sure her things got moved to Seattle before she went back to withdraw from Ithaca. Scholarship or not, she needed her parents right now, and being 3000 miles away from them was not good for her.

She slides out of bed and takes a brief shower, knowing she would take a long hot shower when she gets back from the doctor. She tosses her damp hair in to a bun and rifles through her suitcase, searching for something clean. All she finds is a black skirt and white shirt, meaning she desperately needs to do laundry, especially since she would be staying in Seattle for three more days before returning to Ithaca to withdraw. She pops contacts in and puts on makeup at a slow pace, her hands shaking a little. When she returns to the bedside table to put her glasses back and retrieve her phone, she finally notices the letter from Mark. Dropping it in her purse, she heads out of the hotel room to meet her mother for breakfast at the restaurant in the lobby.

Kalen doesn't eat anything, she doesn't even drink any water, she just stares at the table as Addison munches on her muesli and yogurt, a habit she picked up from Derek long ago. When Addison asks Kalen if she's sure, Kalen nods but doesn't say anything; instead pulling Mark's letter out of her purse.

"He left this." She says softly, looking up at her mother with confused eyes.

"Just read it." Addison says as she touches Kalen's hand. "It can't hurt to read it." Kalen nods and they sit in silence for a little longer before Addison pays for her breakfast and they head out to the car. Kalen doesn't open the letter until they're sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office, one hand shakily clutching Addison's.

K –

You know I love you. You know that I never meant for you to be your mother's replacement, and had what happened between she and I not happened, maybe all of this wouldn't have been so hard. You know all of that, you've know all of that since our relationship started. I wish there was a way to convince you that this would work, but since I can't seem to do that, I have a few requests.

Be happy, Kalen. Don't be sad, don't be depressed or anything, just be happy. You've been through rough things, but you've got the strength of a Shepherd and the stubbornness of a Montgomery in you, and I need you to be happy. Because if I hear, years down the road, that you're unhappily married, or stuck in a profession that you hate, my heart is going to break for you. Because all I've ever wanted is for you to be happy.

Love your parents. They love you so much, K. Sometimes they might forget to show it, but I have a bruise that proves it. I wish Derek had resisted the urge to sock me across the room, but since he didn't, you can always have that memory. Just picture me stitched up and you'll remember. Derek loves you, and if Addie hadn't had a bullet in her arm, she probably would have smacked me across the face. They want you to be happy as much as I do, so love them and be happy, okay?

I only have one more request. It's kind of a big one. First, I promise to not contact you unless you contact me, just like you asked, and I promise to leave you and your family be, just like Derek asked. I promise that no matter what, but I'm asking you. Please. Keep the baby. I know you don't think you're ready, but I think you would make a wonderful mother. And Addie deserves to spoil a granddaughter or grandson, and Derek is going to need someone to play catch with since you're so obsessed with soccer. Don't do it for me. Do it for the grandparents to be, and for yourself. You would be an amazing mother, and I just…I'm just asking. You don't have to honor that request, I know it's big, but think about it, okay?

Knowing you, you're probably reading this in the doctors office, so I'll let you go. I love you, K. Be happy.

Mark.

"Kalen Shepherd?" Kalen looks up, tears in her eyes. "Dr. Hammond will see you now."

Okay guys. We're nearing the end here. It'll probably end next chapter, just so you're aware. Review please!! – Mel.