"How do I look?" asked April, smoothing down her scrubs as she and Jackson got dressed by the door of the on-call room where they left their clothes.

"All sexed up," smirked Jackson, noting her slightly messy hair and the pink sex flush that hasn't faded from her chest just yet. It earned him a pointed look that softened when he moved in to take her hips in his hands. "I really miss you in these scrubs though."

"Do you though? Didn't seem like it a second ago," she teased, and her soft lacy tone made him bite his lower lip and play with the dip of her waist, causing her to shift herself closer to him.

"Well if I'm being honest…" he said, kissing her nose and then the top of her cheekbone. "You look like you didn't just come from a hike, and a kickass rescue mission on top of that. You still smell really nice. How do you do that?"

"I wasn't hiking for long before the accident," she said, raising her eyes to the ceiling in a matter-of-fact-like fashion before centering her view back to him. "We better get out there."

"Yeah, okay," he said, his face following hers as she slowly backed up a step or two.

"Okay," she echoed before she felt the door touch her back. Her eyes switched between his eyes and his lips and it gave him the clue he needed. His lips descended on hers in a long and steady open mouthed kiss that had their tongues touching warmly. April finally broke away in an attempt to regain her original train of thought, but found it all the while a difficult task. "Mmmm, I'm serious."

"Yeah I know," he whispered almost sarcastically against her lips. At that moment, his pager went off and his forehead sunk down to the nook of her shoulder. Willing himself to do his job, Jackson let off a short and helpless whine before peeping out from his safe little hiding place to check on the page. "Ugh. Karev. Wants me in his office in 10.

"Duty calls," she laughed mockingly. "Will you be long?"

"Probably not."

"Meet me at daycare," she offered confidently, and he felt his spirit lift and his head rise with it as he looked at his ex-wife, whom he just had hot dirty sex with in an on-call room, as she offered to wait up for him so they could spend some time with their daughter together.

"I'd like that a lot."

"Do you wanna go first?" she asked, unlocking the door behind her back without having or wanting to look at what her fingers were doing.

"Hmmm, you think it's best we keep this under wraps for now?" he inquired tentatively.

"Yeah. Probably better that way," she replied.

"Agreed."

"Now go," she said, widening her eyes playfully and slapping his butt on his way out. "Get outta here."

Jackson chuckled and slipped past the door to the small room where he left April to exit after him in a few minutes' time. He gently closed the door, only to flinch hard at the sight of Alex standing right in front of him.

"Holy shit. That was YOU in there?" asked Alex, as the corner of his upper lip lifted in disgust.

"Uhmm… you paged me?" asked Jackson, trying to swerve the topic a hard left upon the spine-cringing realization that the sound of their activities may have halted the peds surgeon on his way to his office.

"Yeah I…" trailed Alex, craning his neck to see if he could figure out who Jackson was pleasuring in the on-call room. "... just needed you to approve some… Who?-"

"No one," said Jackson, cutting Alex off.

Alex creased his brows in bewilderment before shaking it off to resume his business. "You know what, fine. I don't care who you've been fucking in the hospital, alright? Just keep it down, would ya?"

"Absolutely. Thanks, buddy," said Jackson, trying his best to walk Alex as far away from the room as possible.

"And it better not be an intern unless you wanna embarrass your ass in front of HR for having to declare that shit."

Jackson nodded and faked an interest in the folder that Alex was holding, hoping it would prevent the man from wanting to look behind them. "You have some things for me to sign?"

They were almost a hall's length away from the room when Alex was able to sift through the sloppy pile of paperwork mid-walk and find the documents he was looking for. "Yeah, some new budget requests and-"

At that moment, the door to the on-call room swung open, and Alex turned around to see April glide silently out of it. His eyes shot wide open with surprise and before April had a chance to turn her head their way, Jackson practically tackled him into the empty patient room beside them.

"Kepner?!" exclaimed Alex, his voice a little too loud for Jackson's liking.

"SHHHH!" hissed the plastic surgeon, his eyes flaring up, too, as he spoke through gritted teeth. "Just… shush."

"What have you done, Avery?" said Alex, his voice low and grave like the cops might barge in at any moment and arrest his friend. "She's freakin' married!" he shouted in a whisper.

"No… she's not," said Jackson, shutting his eyes at the memory of April batting tipsy at the baseball field over her failed relationship with Matthew. "And I know what you're thinking."

"You homewrecker!"

"It's not like that! Her and I now… this had nothing to do with them ending it."

"What the hell happened with Male Kepner then?"

Jackson shoulders tensed up. "He left her."

Alex's face changed instantly to that of an enraged bull priming itself to charge at something. "I'm gonna fuckin' kill him."

"No. You're not," said Jackson, a little surprised to see Alex so protective of April. He sighed and decided that the details weren't completely relevant at this point. "It's a long story."

"So you two are screwin' around again?" asked Alex, dialing it down and doing his best to sound like a supportive male friend.

"We're not just screwing around. At least I hope not," said Jackson, and he felt more nervous saying it out loud than he ever thought he'd be. "I asked her out." He was struggling not to sound like some lovestruck teenager and was failing miserably. "She's… different. And, and also the same. And I don't know whether I'm a dumbass for thinking I've got a shot with her again or for letting her go in the first place."

"Could be both," jabbed Alex, pushing up his bottom lip. He, too, was failing at his task of sounding supportive but ended up surfacing something that Jackson would eventually consider carefully. "I'm confused. Are ya into her 'cause she's changed or 'cause you missed the stuff that's still the same?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean. Is your dick popping your jeans for her only now that she's a far cry from the chick you divorced, dumbass."

"That's not… no, of course not," he stammered defensively as his brows bunched together. "I don't want her back just 'cause she's... fulfilled some standard I built up in my mind."

"Alright," said Alex nonchalantly. "Just sayin'. Somethin' she might think."

Jackson's eyes flickered in slow panic as the possibility hit him like a 747 slamming into a migratory bird mid-flight.

"And since when were you an expert on what women might think?" asked Jackson, as Alex's miraculous maturity arc started to pile up on him. Alex simply smirked to the side and tapped on his wedding ring.

Jackson shook his head in amusement then took the document that Alex paged him for. He spent a good few minutes to recognize it as the budget that's been pitched for days now, so he whipped out a pen and signed its allotted fields before shoving the copy back to Alex. He turned on his heel to leave the room, an air of determination propelling his stride.

"Where you goin'?" called out Alex.

"Off to woo my ex-wife," Jackson called back and before he knew it, he was dashing his way off to daycare.

Jackson swung around the door post of the colorful hospital room full of toys and small children. His chest was puffing by the time he got there and he saw April sitting on a bean bag with a standing Harriet facing her and receiving sweet little Eskimo kisses on her nose.

April finally met his gaze and every drop of exhaustion left his body the second they shared a smile over their daughter's shoulder.

"Hi," he greeted in one final puff and he took a few steps forward to walk over to them.

"Hey there," greeted April, looking up at him and gently guiding Harriet to turn around. "Look, bug. Daddy's here."

"Hi, Sweetheart," said Jackson. He secretly looked at April, too, when he said it, just to snag the feeling for himself before kissing Harriet's forehead.

"Got that thing done?" asked April.

"Yeah," said Jackson, taking a seat on the bean bag right next to her.

Offering something for Harriet to play with, the daycare attendant spilled some building blocks nearby and Harriet jumped at the opportunity to get first dibs, decidedly walking away from her parents without the thought of looking back.

"No. No, baby, don't go," April pleaded, falling to her knees then on all fours to try and reach her child and bring her back to them. "Come baaaack," she croaked dramatically and Jackson got a good kick out of seeing her try.

She finally hung it up and sat on the softly padded floor, reclining her back on the bean bag she vacated earlier. Her forearm was rested on a raised knee and she looked up at Jackson in feigned heartbreak. "She traded me in for blocks."

"Yeah. Who knows what else she'd trade us in for?" he empathized. It took him a while to muster up the courage to dive in and talk to her about the serious stuff, which was an absurd concept to him knowing that they've been through far more intense conversations in the past. He considered putting it off, but the point that Alex managed to bring up was eating away at him, and he didn't want to wait until they had their date to get into it. Finally, he broke through, but only made it through one sentence before choking and falling silent again. "I have a question."

Puzzled, she looked around awkwardly and followed up. "Do you... plan on asking it?"

Jackson sunk down from his bean bag and folded his legs under him so that he could sit across her on the floor. She shifted to face him, wondering what was up.

Toying around with a plastic block that he picked up close by, he and found her warm eyes and primed himself to speak. "Do you think… I want you back… just because you've changed?"

She blinked a few times and caught on pretty quickly that the talk was definitely starting now and not later. She looked down at the colored foam boards beneath them and met him with a glance. "Crossed my mind. Why don't you tell me?"

"It's a complicated question."

"I don't need a complicated answer… Just an honest one," she said amiably, as she slowly took the block from his hand and started fiddling with it, too. Not in a frantic or angry way, but in a way that was surprisingly calm. "You divorced me for a reason, Jackson, and I spent years trying to come to terms with that. So now that we're doing… this... I just wonder, you know? What this is."

"Can I hold your hand?" he asked, his voice hushed and sincere.

It seemed a little backward for him to ask since just moments ago, they were doing a lot more than just holding hands. But when they were in the on-call room, all bets were off. The heat of the moment took over, and they granted themselves permission to their passion and each other's bodies. Now that they were sitting across each other on the hospital daycare floor, with their child playing three feet away from them, things were very much grounded to reality this time around.

"Okay," she whispered back, and he warmly took her hands in his.

He took a little time to piece together his feelings, knowing that what he was about to say was going to dig up a lot. "I've had to give up thinking that we'd ever get our old life together back. Even though I miss it. All the time."

"You do?" she asked, and it was painted all over her face that this was new information to her.

"I do," he replied, realizing that he never really told anyone this. Especially not her. "And it kills me that eventually, I have to learn to let that go. Not just because you've changed. But because I've changed, too."

"Yeah," she said, feeling his familiar touch, seeing the familiar shape of his hands over hers. Hands that wore the same old skin but held together a completely new person. "Yeah, we've changed."

"So, wanting you… wanting us... just 'cause I think you've grown? Just 'cause I think you won't hurt me like you did before? To put things on my terms like that… It's not right. It's not my call. It's ours."

She nodded in acknowledgement. "When?" she asked, and only continued when he raised his eyebrows to encourage her to elaborate. "When did it start up again? The feelings?"

"I'm always gonna have feelings for you."

"You know what I mean," said April, trying to sift through the fact that while feelings would always exist between them, certain kinds were being called into question at the moment.

He pinched his eyes shut for a second, knowing that his answer would be a risky one considering what just happened between her and Matthew. But she wanted to know the truth, and he felt obligated to provide her his honest answer. "After the car crash."

April tensed up, feeling her ribs twist at the potential outcome she refused to let herself go through a second time so soon. That of a man declaring his love for her just because she almost died, just because he was afraid to lose her, only to have things wither down when the impulsivity of the moment ran its course.

It scared her to death. Precaution overtook her bones and she slowly slipped her hands away from his.

"April… April, please."

"Have you thought this through?" she asked in concern, almost sighing the words out. Her voice always had a smallness to it, but it had the chops to sound massive whenever she'd order interns around in the ER or when things would blow up in a heated argument. But right now, her voice was far from big or angry. It was small and scared of being hurt.

"It's partly my fault why you're trying to be sure this time," he admitted, and the bitter aftertaste of Montana coated the inside of his mouth. But it urged him on to try and do better this time. To push through, and be the one to believe enough for the both of them. "I'm asking... if you're willing… to put a little faith in me again. To earn your love back."

She shook her head and he felt his heart pulverized into a million pieces, only to pull itself back together upon realizing that she wasn't shaking her head because she was saying no, but because she was about to correct him on something. "You think I ever stopped loving you? I only had to find other ways of how," she said, and a tear fell before she could stop it. "...when I couldn't be your wife anymore."

Jackson felt a part of him unwillingly transported back to the clear varnished table in that lawyer's office where it happened.

You want this? Do you really want this?

His eyes flashed back to present day, to the version of her that has come out from everything that has happened between them.

"I was still so in love with you when I signed those papers," he said finally, after having willed himself away from the painful memory.

"You were?"

"Yeah," he said, his eyes now as shiny as hers. "It felt like I lost my wife and my best friend in one day. Because I didn't know what else to do to stop the pain." She looked down and blew out a stream of cold air containing all the bad feelings from that day and the weeks that followed after their divorce. "Of course I'm always gonna love you, April. You're my…"

When a hard breath took the place of the words that didn't come, she looked up at him and she understood. Because she had the same struggle summing up what he was to her when they were at Jo and Alex's wedding.

"I like you better now," she said. "I think it's okay that I like you better now."

"I like you better now, too," he smiled faintly, and their hands found each other again and started tracing light patterns. "Do you like me better because I won't mind leading your family in prayer anymore?" he joked, squeezing her hand playfully.

"Nah. It's not that at all," she laughed. "It's 'cause you seem… happier. I would've liked you better for taking up anything that made you happier… Except maybe something criminal."

They shared a good chuckle and April soon remembered something that happened moments before Jackson arrived at daycare. "... There's one more thing that's been bothering me."

"What is it?" he asked, the look on his face spelling concern.

"Amelia came by for a visit," she said.

"Uhm. Okay?"

"She told me that she and Owen started falling apart the moment their foster kids were taken away from them. I can't help but think…"

"Since that's what tore us apart before..."

"I can't help but think whether these feelings are just the kind people have when they share a child. I can't help but wonder if we'd be anywhere near this point if we didn't have Hattie. If she's the only thing that's keeping us together…"

"Do you think Sammy was the only thing keeping us together?" asked Jackson, and the mention of their son's name hit them hard. "He wasn't the only thing. He was made with love. He was made with our love."

"And he…" she began, but was unable to finish her sentence. "Jackson what I'm trying to say is that I'm scared. In the back of my mind, I'm scared everyday that something might take her away from us. I know there are no guarantees. I've come to know that the hard way. It's something that's been constantly teaching me surrender." She looked at Harriet for a moment over Jackson's shoulder. Their little nugget was still close by, having the time of her life with all the toys she had to herself. "But apart from feeling like it'd be the end of the world, I don't know what would become of us if we lost her. And now, not only am I scared about keeping her safe... I'm also dead afraid we'd end up hurting each other again if we have to go through that nightmare again."

Jackson took her words to heart. Nothing he knew could assure her or himself of the future of their child. He wondered if the faith he'd come to know could teach him the same sense of surrender she's already begun to learn.

"It's scares me, too. Being a parent… being parents like us, who've already gone through that kind of loss… it's pretty damn scary. In fact, it's terrifying," said Jackson, and the fear he's been describing was apparent in his eyes. "I'm afraid, too, April… But I'm gonna do it afraid. Everyday. And I know... That you're the only person I want to do it with." His hand found the side of her cheek and wiped away her tears with his thumb. "Let's do it afraid."

"We can do it afraid," she affirmed, closing her eyes at the feeling of safety while being cradled in his touch.

"C'mere," he said, gently pulling her close to rest her back on his chest so he could embrace her from behind. They stayed on the floor while they watched Hattie play, and took a deep breath of contentment as they sat in silence together. Jackson eventually placed his chin on her shoulder, lingering his voice next to her ear. "So if you wanna back out from dinner tonight, I guess now's your chance."

"You kidding?" she asked, still soaking up the moment. "I don't back out."

"I was hoping you'd say that," said Jackson, laying a sweet kiss on her cheek.