Sonny blinked a couple of times against the harsh light. "Hey," He said, "I didn't think you would be home yet."
"Obviously." Brian said sarcastically. "I called you several times to tell you that I was getting off early and coming home. I wanted to take you out to dinner."
"Oh, what time?" Sonny said recoiling from the ice in Brian's voice. "I guess I didn't hear my phone ring." He explained.
"I called you more than ten times….the club must have been busy tonight." Brian said.
"Not too bad, about normal." Sonny said evasively.
"And how would you know?" Brian sneered. "I called the club when you didn't answer your cell phone."
"You did? They didn't tell me." Sonny said slowly, trying to figure out where Brian was going with this conversation.
"Yeah, I did and your buddy Tad right… the one you call 'T' took great pleasure telling me that I could find you at Will's house, if I needed to reach you. He even offered me the phone number there." Brian said, rising from the sofa.
Sonny hung his head. "I wish he hadn't done that." He said sincerely. He didn't want Brian hurt by his indecision. He was staying with Brian, no matter what. What was the use of trying to be Will, Will didn't want him anymore.
"I bet you do." Brian said. "I guess it would make things a lot easier for you."
"Brian." Sonny said. "I only wish he hadn't told you that, because I didn't want to cause you any pain or worry for nothing."
"So… let me get this right. You wanted to keep it a secret for me, to save my feelings… and not just because you didn't want to get caught cheating on me. Is that about right?" he asked.
"I wasn't cheating on you." Sonny snapped at him. It had already had a long day and night, and he had dealt with just about all he was capable of for one day. "Abigail called and asked me to come and take over babysitting for her. JJ was in a car accident and was brought into the ER, and she needed to check on him. You can check with the hospital if you don't believe me, and I was there alone with Arianna. NOONE else was there."
"I saw JJ in the Emergency room before I left." Brian said, "I believe that is why you went there, But I don't understand why she called you, why couldn't she call someone else….Will is a Horton, he must have a million family members in this town alone. She could have called any one of them, anybody but you?"
"She did call a bunch of people and no one answered but me." Sonny said defending his cousin. "She even called Will to come home but his phone was off or something."
"Oh really, Well great dad he is turning out to be." Brian sneered.
"HEY!" Sonny said, reacting before he even had time to think about it. "Don't talk about him like that."
"Did I touch a nerve?" Brian asked grimly. "That's not surprising at all unfortunately."
"Will is a great father, and you know it." Sonny said.
Brian shrugged. "I don't see Will much. So how would I know anything about him, other than what you tell me. You prefer to spend time with him when I am not around."
"No you don't see him much and do you ever wonder why that is?" Sonny asked, getting angry. It's because when he is around you turning into a raving lunatic and start pawing all over me… sometimes, I am surprised that you don't just go ahead and piss on me to mark your territory." Sonny spat out.
Brian laughed. "Yeah, I guess, I do have a small jealous streak when it comes to Will." He admitted. "But I wonder whose fault you think that would be?"
"That's not fair, I have stayed with you and you know I have never cheated out you, NEVER." Sonny said. "Even though God knows I have had plenty of opportunities."
"Maybe not physically." Brian conceded. "You have been faithful to me when it comes to your body…. But what about in your heart?" he asked.
Sonny looked at him warily. "You know it took me a long time to get over what happened between me and Will." He said.
Brian scoffed. "Come on Sonny, we both know you aren't over what happened between you two, just like you aren't over him. You still love him and pine after him, you don't want him with anyone else because you want to be with him. The thought of him being with someone else makes you so miserable you can't even stand yourself. I have been patient, but I'm not blind and it gets clearer and clearer to me every day."
"Will is moving on." Sonny said, as if it made a difference.
"So you're stuck with me?" Brian asked. He walked past Sonny toward the door. "Somehow that doesn't feel like a win to me. I love you with all of my heart but I refuse to be your consolation prize Sonny."
For the first time Sonny noticed the suitcases sitting beside the door. "Where are you going?" he asked, panic building within his chest.
"Well, Not that you really care but… had you answered the phone and come home, I was taking you to dinner to tell you that I was offered a four week internship at John Hopkins Hospital, thanks to Dr. Jonas pulling some strings for me. I am leaving tonight." Brian said.
"You're leaving me?" Sonny asked.
"I'm not sure that I ever really had you to begin with..." Brian said.
"Don't be like that." Sonny said, "I don't want you to leave." Tears pooled in his eyes.
Brian closed his eyes. His brain was screaming at him to take Sonny into his arms and assure him that everything would work out, but he couldn't do that. He had to do this for himself, having only a part of Sonny was no longer enough.. He wanted all or nothing.
Instead he took Sonny's hands in his own. "I love you." He said simply, "But I can't live with this anymore. I can't live in constant fear that this is going to be the day that you wake up and decide that you are going back to Will. It's not fair, and it is turning me into someone that I don't want to be. I am jealous, angry, nervous, to name a few, all the time." He said.
"But we are getting married in less than four months." Sonny said, wiping the tears from his face.
"This is a huge opportunity for me, and I have to take it, and besides the time apart will give us time to decide what we want. I have to be honest, I plan on using my time to decide if I can marry you knowing that part of you will always belong to someone else. And I want you…"
"No…" Sonny interrupted. "I can take some time off and go with you, at least for a week or so…" he said.
Brian shook his head, "Two months ago I would have given the world to hear you say that…. Today sadly, it just doesn't mean much."
"We can fix this…" Sonny said frantically.
"I really hope we can." Brian said. "I hope that things work out for us. I want nothing more than to marry you. But I want you to WANT to marry me too."
"I DO WANT TO MARRY YOU!" Sonny said. "You are just upset…. And it is over nothing really…. I was at Will's apartment tonight but he was not there. I left as soon as Will and Paul came home."
Brian looked at his watch. "I have to get to the airport," he said, "But please Sonny while I am gone, PLEASE figure out what you want, once and for all." He stressed. "And if you want me, then whatever unresolved feelings that you still have with Will needs to be dealt with." He put his hands on Sonny's face, forcing Sonny to meet his eyes. " I mean what I am saying to you right now. I WON'T MARRY YOU AND PLAY SECOND FIDDLE TO SOMEONE ELSE. So talk to him, take him out, do whatever it takes to get him out of your system." Brian couldn't resist pressing his lips to Sonny's one last time. "Goodbye Sonny." He said.
"Don't." Sonny said brokenly.
"I have to do this for me… if I don't do it now, I never will." Brian said picking up his suitcase and walking out the door.
Sonny stood there stiffly looking at the door in disbelief. In one day his whole world had crumbled around him. Will was gone, Brian was gone…
Sonny went to the bedroom and laid across the bed pulling a pillow to him. He buried his face in it and cried, eventually falling asleep.
He woke up hours later, drug himself from the bed, swallowed some Tylenol with a mouthful of water, and then went to the kitchen. He poured himself some whiskey into a glass and drank it in two swallows. He picked up his cell and dialed Chad's number, leaving message saying that he was not feeling well and was taking a few days off. After he disconnected the call he switched the phone off and dropped it onto the counter. Then he trudged back to the bed crawling beneath the covers pulling them all the way over his head.
Minutes turned to hours; hours to days…..time passing him by with Sonny only leaving the bed except to take medicine, drink more whiskey, and use the facilities. There was nothing else to do, no one to see, nothing left to say, Will had said everything he wanted to say to him, and Brian had left him, his life was falling down around him and he had no idea how to stop it. He could talk to his dad, but hadn't he basically taken Brian and Will's side. He could talk to him mom, but he didn't want to hear 'I told you so.'
Three days later, Sonny was standing at the sink looking a the empty bottles littering the counter. There was nothing else to drink in the house, except soda, He had finished the whiskey, the bourbon, even the rum they had stashed under the counter… Sonny grabbed a bottle of water and went back toward the bedroom, when there was a knock on the door.
"Go away." Sonny called, continuing to walk toward the bedroom.
"Sonny." Abigail called through the door. "Are you okay, I have called you a million times, and I stopped by the club and Chad said you were sick."
"Go away." Sonny repeated going into his bedroom and closing the door behind him. He crawled back in the bed, covering his head.
Suddenly his bedroom door flew open. "Jackson Kiriakis." Abigail said sternly.
"How the hell did you get in here?" Sonny said, throwing the covers off of him, standing up, ready to escort her out.
"You gave me a key for emergencies remember?" she asked.
"Exactly… for EMERGENICIES." He said.
"Well, This is an emergency, they said you were sick and no one has seen or heard from you in three days. For all we knew you could have been dead." She said.
"As you can see I am alive." Sonny said, "So get the hell out of here and leave me alone."
"Sonny, I am not leaving until I find out what is wrong with you." She said stubbornly, "And why are you still wearing the clothes you had on the other night?" she said, going over and touching his forehead. "You don't have a fever. But your eyes are bloodshot." She said. "What is going on?"
"None of your damn business." Sonny said, dropping back onto the side of the bed."
"And I hate to tell you but the smell in here is atrocious." She continued as if he hadn't said a word. "Sonny…. What is that all over your sleeve?"
"Doesn't matter." Sonny said, looking down at it.
"Well you need a shower. LIKE RIGHT NOW." She said, pulling him up and shoving him toward the bathroom. "And don't come out of there until you shave that mess off of your face too." She ordered. S
Sonny went into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He stripped the clothes off and stepped into the shower, turning the water on.
When she heard the water start to run in the shower, she turned to the bedroom. The first thing she did was go over and open the window to let some fresh air in. Then she stripped the sheets from the bed, and went to the washer. She put them in and put them on the longest cycle on the machine. After that she grabbed a garbage bag and began tossing the half full water bottles, and the bone dry liquor bottles. It didn't look like Sonny had been eating much, but he had sure had plenty to drink.
Once the countertops were cleaned off, she looked in the refrigerator and pulled out some things to make a sandwich with, since there wasn't much in there. She made Sonny and sandwich and poured him a glass of milk. She was just sitting it on the table when he emerged from the bedroom, fresh from the shower.
"There's the cousin that I recognize." She said, "Come and eat, you look like you have lost ten pounds since I saw you last."
Sonny looked at the plate, ready to tell her that he didn't want to eat, but his stomach growled, so he sat down to eat. He was surprised at how hungry he was. He finished the sandwich in a minute or two and pushed the plate aside, then he drank the milk, using in to swallow a couple more Tylenol.
Once he was done, Abigail cleared the dishes and sat down beside him. "So….. she said, Do you wanna talk about it?" she asked.
"Not Really." Sonny said.
"You know, I am not going anywhere till you talk to me right?" Abigail said.
Sonny nodded, and got up and went to the couch. He sat down and buried his face in his hands. "I don't even know where to start, I ruined everything."
"Let's start at the beginning, and you can tell me everything, then we will figure out what to do together." Abigail suggested, getting comfortable beside him on the couch, it looked like it was going to be a long night.