Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Can't Fight the Moonlight
Chapter 14: I Like to Sleep
Previously on Can't Fight the Moonlight…
Addison smiles at him and he holds her hand as they walk down the hallway. "So, you really like Dr. Levenkron?"
Addison replies quickly. "You can call her Abby. Everyone does." She hesitates and then says with confidence. "And, yes, I like her."
Maybe if I close my eyes
All my troubles will subside
I'll dream in color like in the movies
Somebody comes to rescue me
Saves me from this tragedy
Puts me in the middle of Broadway
When Addison woke up, she felt the warm sun shining on her face and found herself to be wrapped in Alex's strong arms. She felt safer than she had in days. Alex was snoring into the pillow. She rubbed his back and moved her face near his, kissing his nose until he woke up. She whispered, "Good morning."
"Is this a dream?" He muffled into her lips.
"Nope," she replied as she kissed him awake. "I love you. I love you. I love you."
He finally responded, kissing her back and she stopped. "I'm sorry. I didn't say it enough yesterday."
He put a finger to her lips. "Don't apologize for anything that happened yesterday, okay?"
She nodded and they lay there, enjoying each others presence for a few minutes. When they both were fully awake, Addison sat up. "Let's get breakfast. I'm starving."
Alex laughed. "I bet you are. I'll make you breakfast. But you are eating at the kitchen table. You've spent too much time in bed."
"Okay." Addison was tired of lying down. She hopped out of bed and almost instantly, her knees gave out. Alex rushed to the other side of the bed. "Are you okay?!"
She was laughing on the floor. "I forgot how to walk!"
"Here," he offered his arms out to her. "I'll help you."
He pulled her off the floor and they took tiny, tiny steps with most of her weight on his body. When they made it out into the hallway, Addison stopped him to peer into the guestroom. Mark and Derek had fallen asleep there, in the same bed. Addison chuckled. She had four other guestrooms that neither of the men took advantage of.
Alex shook his head. "What are they doing?"
Addison offered him a little insight into the psychology of the attendings. "Mark and Derek could never sleep alone. Usually, they are with women, but I guess this was the next best thing."
Alex nodded. "Good to know." He made a mental note to never sleep alone with one of them in the house at night.
He half-carried Addison down the stairs, not wanting to fall. When they reached the kitchen, he deposited her on one of the barstools near the island counter and opened up the refrigerator. "Eggs?" he asked, pleading that she took him up on it. Eggs were the only thing he knew how to make.
She nodded and he sarcastically wiped his forehead in relief. She laughed and propped up her elbow on the counter. "So, Derek said that Mark and Izzie are getting along pretty well. What do you think about that?" She searched his eyes for any signs of jealousy.
Luckily for her, Alex just laughed. "All I know is that whenever he talks about her, his eyes get this weird little gleam in them. And he thinks she's like the most amazing woman on this earth. Which we both know isn't true. Because you're the most amazing woman on this earth." He knew it bothered her when he said stuff like that because she thought that he was just saying it to get into her pants. But she really did deserve some corny romance in her life and if he didn't do it to often, she wouldn't bug him about it.
"Stop it," she teased kiddingly as her face flushed. "You don't have to talk like that. I know it puts a damper on your masculinity."
He walked closer to her, moving his mouth almost against hers. "Who told you that?"
"Mark," she muttered and looked down.
Alex laughed and cracked the egg on the pan. It sizzled as it started to fry. "Mark seems awfully insecure about his masculinity."
"I am NOT insecure about my masculinity!" A voice boomed from behind them. They turned their heads and Addison rolled her eyes.
Mark stood there, with his hands on his hips. "I'm the one who slept in the same bed with a GUY all night! I'm the one who cooked chocolate chip pancakes! I'd say that I am the most secure with my masculinity. I'm like the alpha male."
"And you're egg is burning," he added.
"Oh, shit." Alex cursed and flipped the egg over. "Sorry," he apologized to Addison. "I'll eat this one."
Mark glared at him. Alex sighed. "And I'm sorry, Mark. You are very secure with your masculinity."
"And..."
"And, you are the alpha male. I apologize for doubting you," Alex recited.
Mark nodded. "That's better."
Addison changed the subject. "Is Derek still sleeping?"
"Is it past ten o'clock?" Mark asked rhetorically.
"Right," Addison sighed.
Mark watched Alex struggle with the spatula in annoyance. After Alex finally got the egg onto the plate, he asked Mark, "Do you want an egg?"
Mark cleared his throat. "Yes, yes, I do want an egg. I do NOT, however, want a burnt lump of nothing."
Alex looked confused, until Mark demanded, "Just give me the spatula."
Alex handed it over and Addison commented, "Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays." Addison knew that would get him. Mark hated "Office Space", although Addison was convinced that he really loved it, as she did.
Mark threw the spatula on the counter. "It's Thursday!"
"I know," Addison laughed, "But it's really funny when you get all pissy and mad."
Mark stared at her and then at Alex. Alex, concerned about his future career in plastics, raised his hand. "I don't think it's funny."
Addison shook her head. "Oh, don't worry. Mark is always a little cranky in the mornings."
"That's it!" Mark exclaimed in frustration.
"What? Where are you going?" Addison asked.
Mark stormed around the kitchen. "I'm going to go wake up Derek."
"Come on, don't be an ass." Alex said, "why would you want to do that?"
Mark was already halfway up the stairs. He shouted down. "Misery LOVES company."
Alex and Addison heard Mark yell Derek's name. Then, they heard a smack! and Mark yelped. Derek stomped down the stairs, ignoring Addison and Alex as he entered the kitchen. He threw open the pantry door and slammed the cereal down on the counter.
At this point, Mark came trotting down the stairs, a bright red mark the size of a handprint on his cheek. Mark and Derek glared at each other for a minute or so before Derek stormed over to the refrigerator, pouring himself a glass of orange juice.
Addison raised her eyebrows. She whispered to Alex, "They're usually not this grumpy. I apologize on their behalf."
Alex and Addison sat down at the kitchen table, followed by Derek. They sat in silence as Mark finished frying his egg. Mark dropped the plate on the table and it clattered loudly.
Alex stared at the plate. "Dude, did you make an omelet?"
Mark looked down at the perfectly folded layers of egg and then back up at Alex. "I'm surprised that you even know what an omelet is," he retorted.
Alex fell silent. Addison happily chewed on her egg. Finally, things seem almost normal. "Wow. Have you grown more bitter with age?" she teased.
Mark shook his head. "Nope. You just haven't lived with us for a while. You must have forgotten how pissed off we are in the mornings before coffee."
Alex jumped up from his seat to start the coffee maker. He couldn't take much more of this. Isn't it about time for them to be at work?
Addison laughed at Alex and then turned back to Mark. "That makes for a compelling argument. However, from what I recall, YESTERDAY, you were angels in the morning, even before coffee. Maybe I shouldn't talk more often."
Mark gasped. Alex spilled the coffee. Derek's spoon fell into his bowl with a clang!
Addison's face fell. "What?!"
Mark looked down at the table. "I am so sorry."
Derek nodded in agreement. "Me too."
Addison couldn't believe what she was hearing. "What? No...I was just kidding. I would never do that again to you."
Mark and Derek began eating quietly again. Addison laughed nervously. "Seriously. I was joking. Go back to what you were doing," she pleaded.
Mark looked up at Derek. "I'm sorry for waking you up." Derek replied, "It's not a problem." Mark glanced back at Addison. "See, we're not fighting anymore. You don't have to be sad."
"I'm not sad!" Addison exclaimed.
"Addison is going to see Abby today," Alex announced, trying to change the subject. He could practically see the steam rising off of Addison's skin.
"Good." Derek appeared pleased.
Addison scoffed, "Not if you don't stop acting like this. It's not normal!"
"I'm sorry, Addison," Mark explained, "But do you really expect anything different after yesterday? You really had us worried."
"But I'm getting better," Addison asserted.
"Yes, you are." Alex came up from behind her to smooth down her hair. "We just want to make sure nothing relapses."
Addison stood up to put her dishes in the dishwasher, still fuming. Even the men who have proven to be inattentive and oblivious noticed her anger. However, they decided to let it blow over. They had every right to be extra careful around her. Both of them filled up a mug of coffee. Derek leaned against the doorway to the pantry.
Mark followed him, scratching his head. "Hey, do you think Izzie would move in here? As friends?"
Derek laughed. "Why in the world would she want to do that?"
Mark sighed. Maybe this isn't such a great idea. "It's getting crowded at Meredith's!" Mark defended.
Derek's eyes widened in revelation. "Meredith!"
He paced the room, searching for a phone. "Shit! I was supposed to stay at her house last night. She's gonna be so mad!!" He began dialing and hurried off into another room in anticipation of what was to come.
Mark laughed. "He's so whipped!" He turned back to Addison and Alex. "So, back to Izzie, what can I do to get her to move in? Do I have to grovel? Because it might be worth it."
Addison rolled her eyes. "Just go to work. I'm sure you'll figure it out."
Mark started to speak again, but Alex cut him off, "Can we have some privacy for a minute, Mark?" Alex gave him a look that reminded him of their not-yet-official deal.
Luckily for Alex, Mark just rubbed his chin in thought. "Uhh, yeah." Mark wandered upstairs, wondering about Izzie's favorite kind of flowers.
Addison was facing the sink, washing her hands. Alex came up behind her, resting his ching on her shoulder to look out the window above then sink. He rubbed her hips with his thumbs and moved his hands up her body. He stroked her waist, around her stomach, and up her arms. He moved his hands across the inside of her elbows to meet her hands under the water.
"Ouch!" It took him a half-second to react. He removed his hands from under the streaming (and now, steaming) water. "This water is scalding!! Addison!" He pulled her bright red hands away. "What are you trying to do? Burn off a few nerve cells?"
He wrapped her hands in a nearby dishcloth. She looked up at him and shook the hair away from her face. "Sorry. I guess I just didn't notice the temperature."
He wore a panicky expression and his face was twisted into an ugly frown. Is she lying to me again? No. I have to assume the best of her. "Maybe we should have Derek check you out. You could have some kind of neurological disease..."
"Alex..." she trailed off, not wanting for him of make excuses for her. "I just like warm water. You don't have to question everything I do."
"Geez." Alex stepped back with his hands up in defense. "Yesterday, you wouldn't talk and now you're snapping at me. I've never been so confused in my entire life!"
Addison braced the counter behind her, her eyes wide and her mouth trembling. He realized her distress and moved closer. "I'm sorry," he whispered against her cheek and wrapped his arms around her back. He could feel her hands slightly shaking on his arms. "Okay. It will get better soon. You'll see. And you're going to talk to Abby today."
"I'll be fine." She said, partly to reassure herself.
He put his hands next to hers on the counter. "Of course. Now, let's go, our appointment is in an hour."
"Okay." Addison scurried upstairs. Alex followed her, reminding himself to check the temperature of the shower water.
So here I go away again.
They're trying to get me back again
No longer can I wait her to feel it
Sail away into the night
Trying to find the chorus line
Dream again I'm in the movies
Waiting in the reception area, Alex turned the page of the car magazine that he was reading. He checked the clock. Addison had been in Abby's office for exactly an hour. It was time for the appointment to be over. He glanced at the door every second. Five minutes passed by, but it felt more like five hours. Finally, the door opened to Addison, smiling.
"Hey! Ready to go?"
"How was everything?" He placed a cautious hand on the small of her back. He felt relieved to smell her and hear her again.
Addison grinned at Abby. "Great. I'm coming back in two days."
Abby nodded. "That's right. She's made a lot of progress. I'll see you then, Addison." She started to walk back into her office, but Alex grabbed her arm. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
"What?" Addison furrowed her brow in confusion. Alex had seen this coming. "I just need to talk to her for a second. For me."
"Why?" Addison found this absolutely absurd. What is he talking about? He's not the crazy one! I am!
"Well, this whole thing hasn't exactly been a picnic for me either." He turned to Abby. "Don't worry. I'll pay you for every extra minute." Well, Addison will probably pay, but she's got enough money that it won't even matter.
Addison looked at him worriedly. "Are you okay?" It was weird. She was used to being the only one needing help.
Alex nodded and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Yeah, I just need a third party to talk to for a few minutes. I promise. It won't be long."
"Of course." This was the first time in the past month that he had asked her for anything? Who was she to deny him his request? Thinking about this, she felt a little selfish. "I'll just wait for you out here. Okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be right out." He followed Abby into the room. "Sorry. I wouldn't normally ask...but I need this."
"Not a problem." Abby settled in her chair.
Alex rubbed his neck. "I was just wondering if there was anything that I could be doing. At home."
Abby rested her arm on the armchair. "Wait. I thought we were talking about you."
Alex walked over to the window. "It would help me if I knew what to do, how to make her feel better. Because lately, she's been tossing and turning in her sleep. I get so worried that I can't sleep. And she gets these mood swings, which I can't blame on hormones or anything. And I never know when she's telling the truth. I just want to be able to trust her again."
Abby let him walk around the room a couple more times before he stopped out of breath and waiting for her response. "Here's the good news: I don't think that Addison would lie to you. If she says she's not tired or hungry, then she probably isn't. Trust me. That man did a lot of damage to her spirit, but she will experience moments of happiness. You haven't lost her. She is not past the point of no return."
Alex stared off in to the window and down at the parking lot. "I just want her to get a good night's sleep."
"I understand." Abby smiled warmly. "You're a wonderful boyfriend to Addison. Just give her lots of rest and exercise and good food to eat. She needs to be physically healthy. I think you'll notice a dramatic difference in her moods."
Abby was great at her job. Her words put Alex to ease instantaneously. "Remember what I said yesterday. People have come through these sorts of events with minimal damage all of the time. She will make it through."
"Okay, thanks." Alex was still catching his breath.
Abby observed him sympathetically. "You can do this. Try something for me. The next time she goes off into one of her mood swings, try to calm her down. Do what you would normally do when she gets upset. If nothing works, then call me. But only use me as a last resort, okay?"
Alex laughed. "Are you trying to get rid of us, doctor?" Abby smiled. "Of course not. I was just-"
"Relax." Alex cut her off. "I was kidding." He stood. "I should get back out there before she gets bored and takes off without me." The both laughed as Alex opened the door.
Addison was leaning against the counter, chatting it up with the receptionist. Her eyes lit up when she saw him. He grabbed her hand. "Thanks for waiting."
"It's nothing," she replied. "Do you feel better?"
"Yeah." He smiled at Abby. "Thank you. For everything."
"It's my pleasure." Abby was very glad that she could help. This couple seemed like they really deserved it.
Addison tugged on his arm. "Let's go." She waved goodbye. "See you later, Abby!"
I, I like to sleep
The day passed by reasonably well. Alex took her grocery shopping, so they could have more in their freezer besides popsicles, Lean Cuisines and frozen pizzas. After restocking the kitchen and eating dinner, they went for an evening stroll. Alex drove her to a not-so-nearby park. He didn't want any painful reminders to ruin their day.
Later that night, he cornered her in the kitchen, as they were having one last snack before heading off to bed. He fed her a celery stick dipped in peanut butter, kissing some of it off her lips as she giggled. Mark was sitting in the other room, watching television and pretending to hear them. He had become much less grouchy as the day progressed. Alex suspected that Derek would not be sleeping over again. In fact, he hadn't heard from Derek all day. Meredith probably has him begging for mercy right about now, he thought in the midst of chewing on a celery stick.
The doorbell rang.
Addison gasped and pulled Alex into the pantry to hide.
So much for the perfect evening, Alex thought as she clutched his arms in panic.
"Can you get that?!" Alex shouted from inside the closet.
Luckily, Mark heard his muffled request. "I'm on it."
He cautiously stepped towards the door as Alex comforted a tearful Addison.
It was Izzie.
Mark smiled, more than he usually would, as he fiddled with the lock on the door. "It's Izzie! It's Izzie! It's Izzie!" he shouted. He opened the door. "Come on in. You look beautiful. I'm so glad you're here!" He pulled her into his tight embrace. "Thanks for coming! How was your day?"
"Maybe she'll tell you if she could get a word in edgewise," Alex interrupted. He had dragged Addison out of the pantry, red-eyed and sniffly, to show her that there was no real harm. "See, Addison? It's only Izzie."
Izzie felt like she hadn't seen the redhead in months. Though she was just in this house yesterday, Addison had kept to her bedroom, and Izzie didn't once leave the kitchen. "I'm so sorry, Addison. I didn't mean to scare you," she apologized genuinely.
Addison wiped her eyes. "It's okay." God, that was embarrassing.
Mark stretched his grin across his teeth. "I thought you weren't going to come over."
Izzie sighed, "It was too loud at Meredith's."
Mark winced. "Make-up sex?"
Izzie laughed. "Is that all you think about?!" She shook her head. "No, actually, Meredith was really upset about last night."
"Why? What happened last night?" Addison asked softly.
Izzie hesitated. All eyes went (and not very subtly) to Addison. Addison looked at the ground. "It's because of me. It's because he stayed here, right?"
Alex reached for her hand and gave Mark a knowing look. Mark took the hint. "Ummm...no. No...it's definitely not that."
Addison refused to let Alex touch her and crossed her arms. "Mark! Stop lying to me!" Her eyes never left the floor. "I'd be really mad too, if I was her. I can't imagine what she must be thinking! If I was her, I'd hate me."
"No, Addison." Alex stood in front of her. "You are not allowed to say anything like that. You cannot think negative thoughts about yourself." I am taking charge. She will get through this, he convinced himself.
It backfired.
"Just shut up, Alex." Addison spit back at him. "You're just embarrassing me in front of Izzie." Addison stormed back upstairs and into the bedroom, Alex just behind her.
"Addison!" he yelled. He almost stopped himself. He was almost afraid. "That was mean. You KNOW better than to talk to me like that."
She sat on the bed to take off her shoes. "Stop treating me like a child!"
He glared at her. Why isn't this working?? He stopped himself. All that he'd done was accuse her of things and that definitely wasn't making any progress. He remembered, Abby said to comfort her, like I usually would. Okay. I can do this.
"Can I close the door?" He asked.
Addison gripped the sheets. "Why?"
He shrugged. "You said that you felt embarrassed. I don't want you to feel like that. Closing the door would give us some more privacy."
She nodded. Valid argument. He shut the door and crawled on to the bed.
She bit her lip. "What are you doing?"
He fidgeted on the bed. "Lying down. Join me."
For some odd reason, she complied, facing towards him on her side. "What?"
He didn't say anything. Instead, he rested his wrist right on her waist, draping his hand down her back. She jumped at his touch, but then relaxed. She closed her eyes but her mouth formed and whispered, "What?"
He moved a tiny bit closer. "You need a good night's sleep."
"I'm so sorry." Her face seemed to be focused on intense thought.
He put his lips next to her ear. "It's not your fault. Go to sleep."
Addison sighed in serenity, giving into her body's (and Alex's) wishes. She slept for an hour, and then Alex fell asleep too. He awoke five hours later to an insistent tugging on his t-shirt. He groaned awake. What time is it? He opened his eyes. It was very dark, but he could see Addison. With a few more blinks, he could tell she was crying.
Oh-no. He wrapped his arms around her, trying to convey warmth and safety to her. "It's okay. You're fine. It was just a bad dream. Go back to sleep. Please."
At first, she shoved him away, but then she yanked on his shoulders, pulling him back and forth. He noticed that her eyes were closed. Is she still dreaming? "It's okay, Addie. Open your eyes. It's me, Alex."
She finally pried her eyes open. However, contrary to Alex's expectations, she let out a painful scream and scampered off the bed into the corner of the bedroom. She pulled her knees to her chest and forced herself back into the corner.
Alex was still waking up. He slowly made it over to where she was. "I'm right here. Don't worry." He handed her a pillow, which she took and held on to. He flicked on the lights and her feet made a little patter on the floor, but otherwise, she was unaffected. He sat next to her, which was difficult seeing as she was wedged into the corner. "Just breathe. You're fine." Alex tried to put his hand comfortingly on her thigh, but she screamed again, shoving him away.
Alex groaned. Again, I do not know what to do. But I can't call Abby. I told her that I would do this on my own. He watched the tears stream down her eyes. "I wish I could help you. Please stop crying." Addison pushed the pillow towards him and wrapped her arms around herself.
"You're not alone." Alex reassured her. At this point, he first noticed her nails. Her long, manicured, sharp nails dragging down her own arm. Digging into her skin.
"Ouch, babe. That looks like it hurts." He tried to pull her hand off her skin, but she just slapped him away. "Addison, stop it." His voice wavered as her nails sliced into the grooves that had already been made. "Addison, I mean it. Stop. Now."
She wasn't listening. And this time, she drew blood.
"Addison!" Alex gasped. I can't deal with this. I can't watch her. I can't. I can't. I can't. He covered his own eyes. "Mark!" he yelled, loud enough for the whole house to hear, yet he couldn't hear himself over the screaming in his head. "MARK!!!" Alex never left her side.
Mark appeared at the doorway, wide awake, with Izzie squinting behind him.
"No!" Alex yelled. He pulled Mark inside. "Sorry Izzie, but you can't come in. Mark will be right out as soon as he helps Addison."
Mark knelt down on the floor. "Addison?"
She rocked, scratching her skin again. He sighed, rubbing his temples when she didn't respond. "This reminds me of something that happened back in New York a couple of times."
Alex's spirits were lifted for a moment. It's not my fault. He grabbed the phone and played with it, tossing it between his hands in indecision. Mark sat on the bed, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. "Call Derek."
Alex sat in front of her, trying to catch her eye. "Why?"
Mark leaned back to lay flat on the bed. "In New York, when she got like this, she always pleaded for him. Maybe, because of all the stress that she's been through lately, her mind is flashing back to that time."
Alex tossed the phone to Mark. "You call him." Mark dialed the number that he knew by heart. Derek didn't pick up until the fifth ring.
"Hello?" he answered groggily.
Mark shoved the phone in Alex's direction, but he wouldn't take it so Mark spoke, "Derek? It's Mark. Addison needs to talk to you."
Derek quietly shifted in bed, as Meredith was asleep next to him. "I don't know...I'd help if I could. But I just made up with Meredith and I don't want to wake her up."
Mark shook his head and Alex mouthed "Say please". Mark groaned, "Please?" Alex watched as Addison's eyes darted from side to side. Mark continued, "Alex says that he'll explain to Meredith tomorrow. Addison needs you."
Derek rolled on the bed in frustration. Addison needs Alex. If only he could see that. "Okay. Put her on."
"Here." Mark handed the phone to Addison and she obediently accepted it, for some unknown reason. "It's Derek."
Addison listened intently for a few minutes. Out of nowhere, she dropped the phone. She looked up slowly. "Alex?" She reached for him and found herself in his arms instantly. He fell into her excitedly, knocking her into the wall. "Sorry. Sorry. Is your head okay?" Alex cradled her head in his hands. She was crying.
Alex comforted her and Mark picked up the phone. Derek was calling her name. "Addison? Addison? Are you there?"
Mark breathed a sigh of relief. "No, it's me. She's okay now."
Alex got Addison settled back into bed. She was frantically waving her hands around and softly murmuring her fears to him. Alex climbed into bed and put his arm around her, kissing her temple. She cuddled into his side, shielding herself from the world.
Mark handed the phone to Alex. "He wants to talk to you."
Alex took the phone. "Hey. Thanks."
Derek's voice was a little scratchy. "She sounded like she was out of breath. Is she okay?"
"No." Alex said, slightly annoyed. "She is not okay. She was just crying on the floor and now she won't let go of me. What the hell did you say to her?"
"Nothing!" Derek defended. "I just talked to her about normal stuff. Mark, Izzie, Bailey, this restaurant I thought she should try. What's going on?"
Alex pulled Addison closer to him. "You didn't realize that she wasn't saying anything back?! She was having some sort of night terror. Mark said it happened back in New York. What did you say that snapped her out of it?"
"What?" Derek sounded completely baffled. "I have no idea what you're talking about. She was experiencing a night terror?"
"What?" Alex look over to Mark, who, in turn, leaned over to whisper something to Alex. "I forgot to mention- this was back when we- Addison and me- were together, when Derek wasn't around. Actually, I think it was because of his absence that it even happened at all. Yeah, she kept whispering how much she missed him until she wore herself out and fell asleep. Just thought you should know."
Alex glared at Mark and clenched the phone in his hand. He prepared himself for what he was about to say. "Derek, I'm really glad that you could help her and everything, but doesn't it seem strange that you're the only one who can? I would give anything to do what you can do for her! Even after the divorce! You can still help her, even though you're still haunting her. Can't you just leave her alone?!"
Derek was shocked, completely out of words. Alex was accusing him of everything that he feared. It was chocking him. He couldn't breathe. That is, until he overheard Mark through the phone. "She's saying something."
Alex lifted her chin. "What is it?"
"Alex!" Addison breathed. All of her words came rushing out. "It was so awful, Alex. It was so awful and terrible and realistic. I felt like it was really happening- again! I could feel his hands all over me and touching me. Alex! Please! Make it stop!" she sobbed.
Alex looked up in silence and hugged her. He picked the phone back up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jump to conclusions. She was reliving the attack, not the affair."
Derek ran a hand through his hair. "It's okay," he said, though he knew that it really wasn't. His heart was still racing. "I just never knew...I never knew about that, back in New York."
"Yeah. Neither did I." Alex pushed her hair back and pulled it into a messy ponytail, securing it with an elastic band that Mark found. She was still shaking and her nose was running. Alex motioned to Mark to find some tissues for her. "Anyway, thanks for helping. I'm really sorry to bother you. You should get back to sleep."
"Yeah." Derek looked to Meredith. He couldn't believe that she was still asleep. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Okay. Bye." Alex turned off the phone just as Mark instructed Addison to blow into the tissue. Alex locked his arms around her waist and her arms dangled around his shoulders. Mark felt a little like he was intruding.
"Well, I'm going to go back to Izzie. Are you two going to be okay for the rest of the night?"
Addison nodded. "I think so."
Mark opened the door. "Let me know if you need anything. That's what I'm here for."
When he left, Addison smiled. "You know, I think I could get used to having him around."
Alex chuckled. "Well, you might be in luck because I think that he and his girlfriend just moved in."
Addison laughed, but then she became very quiet. "I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep tonight."
"Just try. You need to rest. We'll talk about it in the morning. Don't worry. Think of something pleasant." Alex kissed her head. Sure enough, she was lulled into a deep sleep from the sound of his heart beat. Alex placed her back on her side of the bed and sat up. "Oh, God," he whispered as the events of the night finally began to take their toll on him. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he realized how scared and worried he actually was.
Alex didn't know it, but Derek Shepherd mirrored his position that night. Derek leaned against the headboard, wiping away the wetness on his face with a sheet. I can't believe that I caused her so much pain. I can't believe my actions are still terrorizing her. He felt sick.
Derek sat in bed for a little longer before he realized that he, quite literally, was going to be sick. He rushed to the bathroom before emptying the contents of his stomach in the toilet. Meredith, hearing him, filled a glass of water and handed to him when he woozily stood up and sat back down on the edge of the bathtub.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
He shook his head, leading her back into bed.
"We'll talk about it in the morning."
A/N: I really wanted to get this in on Saturday, but it looks like I'm about 46 minutes too late. At least I updated before the three month mark.
This probably could have been better, but I'm very very tired. And I would actually like to get some sleep, as the song says. Also, it's been a long week. Finals, and for some odd reason, a lot of young people died this week. Like too young to die. And it was quite thought-provoking because now I'm like "Am I taking life for granted? Am I really happy? What is the meaning of life?" (which I actually wrote a paper on, relating the meaning of life to Frankenstein, The Scarlet Letter, and The Kite Runner) And completely off-topic, but The Scarlet Letter is actually a fantastic book. I liked it very much, but everyone else thought it was boring. Maybe that's because I skipped most of the long descriptions and only read the dialougue.
Okay. Time for three good things that happened this week: 1.I did well on finals. 2.I saw National Treasure 2 3. CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!! Well, I feel better, don't you? And in case you were wondering, the pairing that was most favored was...Alex/Addison!!! Surprising? Not much.
That said, would anyone object to a Mark/Addison flashback next chapter? Or I could just skip it and jump back into the actual story. Because I don't want to write it if you don't want to read it. That would just be stupid.
So, you should review. In the spirit of Christmas and my not-so-good week. And in your review, you should answer that question. Or you could tell me which is your favorite chapter so far. Most of you probably won't remember, but, hey, this is a good excuse to go back and read the whole thing again. Oh, and also, if anyone can tell me the orginial peformer of this song, "I Like to Sleep", I'll update on Wednesday.
Have a wonderful holiday!!