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Chapter 14:

Darcy sat somewhat slumped in his chair by the dining table. His hair was dishevelled and his chin covered in dark stubble as he hadn't shaved yet that morning. He had risen very late after the previous evenings libations, and feeling the clawing pull of hunger had merely thrown on his richly embroidered dressing gown and descended the stairs to the dining room.

He knew he would be the only one there, as Bingley had left for Netherfield on Friday, primarily to escort Miss Bennet back to her home. He had declined Bingley's invitation to join him but promised he would return for his friend's wedding. Instead Darcy had remained behind in London trying to pass the time in much the same way he had been for the past couple of weeks.

The days seemed to merge into one long blur of clubs and drinking and late nights. Several of Darcy's other acquaintances in town had remarked on his rather uncharacteristic behaviour, but Darcy had always been such an enigma to most of them that they didn't question his actions too deeply, supposing it must be a matter of money, or family, or love; it didn't really matter to them which it turned out to be.

Darcy had believed that if he could saturate his mind with enough alcohol he would be able to forget his troubles. He had hoped to rid his dreams of Elizabeth's beautiful bright eyes, and the feel of her soft skin beneath his hands. Her sweet scent had seemed to permanently ingratiate itself into his nostrils and no matter where he went or what he did, it followed him around like a tantalising shadow.

Leaving Elizabeth had been the most difficult thing he had ever had to do. If it had just been his heart at risk he would have born it much better but he felt sure when he remembered the heat that seemed to radiate out of her body, and the flames that seemed to lick at the corners of her eyes as he had held her pinned against him that day, that she could not be so indifferent towards him as she had once professed to be.

It had made this self imposed separation even more torturous. He seemed to drift along in a wine soaked haze, oblivious to everyone and everything around him, except for the dull ache that throbbed through his whole being.

He had been slumped at the table for some time, attempting to eat of the repast laid before him but despite his aching hunger nothing he ate seemed to satisfy him, and he eventually gave up, settling instead with his cup of coffee and the morning's post which Bingley's butler had laid on the table beside his plate.

There were several invitations from various notable matrons, requesting his honoured presence at their numerous and equally vile balls, card parties and brunches. He swept them aside disinterestedly and continued to sort through the remaining correspondence. He spotted a couple that he was sure were from his steward but his head was still swimming and he was not capable of deciphering their contents at present; they were put aside for later perusal. Then he saw one which he didn't recognise at all. He immediately ripped open the seal and scanned the bottom of the page to determine who the sender was. His dark eyes bulged when they rested their gaze on the name 'Edward Bennet' written neatly in black ink at the bottom of the page.

He balled his fists into the hollows of his eyes to dash the last remaining vestiges of sleep from them before he attempted to read the rather short letter from Elizabeth's Father.

Mr Darcy,

Forgive my presumption in writing to you Sir, but Mr Bingley was kind enough to furnish me with your address and assured me that you would welcome my correspondence.

He was also eager to assure me that I would be welcome to stay at his town house whenever I should happen to be in Town. Though I feel sure his invitation was meant as more a means of making a favourable impression on his future father-in-law than of his believing me to take him up on his offer so readily, I am in fact planning on being in town on Tuesday morning and shall look forward to a private conversation with you Sir, at your earliest convenience.

Yours Faithfully,

Edward Bennet.

"Tuesday? Tuesday!"

Darcy sprang up from his chair, somewhat unsteadily, and ran up the stairs, taking two at a time in his haste.

o00O00o

Mr Darcy descended the stairs gingerly, still nervously fingering his cravat and tugging on the lapels of his coat, when there was a resounding knock on the front door. By the time Darcy had reached the bottom of the stairs Bingley's butler had already admitted the caller and was in the process of helping the gentleman out of his greatcoat, (his hat, gloves and thin ebony cane already lay discarded on the round mahogany table in the entrance hall).

Mr Bennet had not yet noticed Mr Darcy's approach and so the latter gentleman took one last steadying breath before stepping forward to greet the elderly gentleman.

"Good morning Mr Bennet. I trust you had a pleasant trip?" lamely enquired Mr Darcy.

"Yes, yes..." grumbled Mr Bennet, still struggling to extricate his arm from the left sleeve of his coat. This finally accomplished, he turned to look at Darcy before continuing: "mild weather, passable roads. No, enough with pleasantries Mr Darcy, I did not come all this way to speak about my journey. If you would be so kind as to lead the way, I should be grateful to have somewhere where we can speak more candidly without being disturbed."

"Of course Sir, may I suggest Mr Bingley's study?" said Mr Darcy, and with his outstretched arm motioned towards the open door on his right. Mr Bennet gave a stiff nod and followed Mr Darcy into the room.

"May I offer you some Claret, or would you prefer a brandy?"

"Wine will do, thank you."

Mr Darcy proceeded to pour two glasses and handed one to Mr Bennet. He eyed his own glass with misgiving as his head gave a torturous lurch to remind him of his still somewhat inebriated state.

Mr Bennet had taken a sip of his wine and then seated himself in a wingback chair next to the empty fireplace, but he did not speak. Darcy would have preferred to have sat down himself but felt more able to handle the wily older gentleman if he remained standing, giving him at least a height advantage.

Mr Bennet hadn't expected Mr Darcy to behave in any way that would cause him to think differently of him than what he had thought when he had first made Darcy's acquaintance in Hertfordshire, but there was something different about the way the once proud and indifferent man was looking at him now which made him wander if his daughter may have been in the right of it. Mr Bennet thought Darcy looked like a naughty school boy who had been caught trying to smuggle a frog into the classroom, rather than the proud disagreeable man he had always appeared to be before.

"Mr Darcy," he eventually said, breaking the stony silence. "Where is my daughter?"

"Where sir?" asked Darcy, somewhat confused.

"Yes Mr Darcy, where? For she is certainly not where she is supposed to be and that is at her home of Longbourne."

"Forgive me Mr Bennet, but your daughter is, as you are no doubt aware, a guest of my sisters and is currently residing, along with her husband, at my house in Grosvenor Square. The last time I thought to enquire she did not mention anything about being held against her will." Darcy winced at his own rough tone, knowing that he wasn't likely to endear himself towards Mr Bennet unless he reigned in his temper.

Mr Bennet didn't take offense at Mr Darcy's sarcasm but instead smiled inwardly, pleased to think that Mr Darcy had more spirit than he would have previously credited him with."Perhaps that is true Mr Darcy, and if it be so then I thank you for you and your sister's kindness towards my Lizzy, but her place is with her family."

"You must forgive me again Mr Bennet for my obtuseness, but why are you telling me this? I'm sure if you spoke with Lizz...Mrs Collins," he hurriedly corrected, "that she would be able to explain her absence to you more accurately."

"I shall forgive you your obtuseness Mr Darcy, especially as it relates to dealing with my daughter, as you have not had the experience in dealing with her lively spirit for the number of years that I have had. Let me assure that a direct application to her for an explanation of her actions would result in nothing but a falling out between us. My daughter, though of a joyous and carefree disposition is also headstrong, especially when she believes herself to be in the right."

"Yes," replied Mr Darcy, a soft smile curling the corners of his mouth as he thought of Elizabeth's strong will, "it is one of her most admirable qualities."

Mr Bennet was even more confused by Mr Darcy than he had been before. The man who several months ago had deemed his daughter ill favoured enough to dissuade him from claiming her hand at a small country dance was now standing before him, with a rather sappy smile on his face, enumerating all of Elizabeth's endearing qualities. "Perhaps I underestimated you Mr Darcy. It would seem as though you not only know my daughter better than I heretofore believed, but unlike most people you see her strength of character and steadfast resolve as positive qualities rather than mere wilfulness."

By this time Darcy had realised that he had said more than he would have wished to, and silently cursed the alcohol that was clearly still befuddling his senses. He didn't say anything more lest he betray himself again.

"I too admire my daughter's strength of character but in some instances I could wish her to be more compliant."

"You can hardly complain of her lack of obedience sir! When everything she has done, which has brought about her current state of misery and loneliness, has been caused by her obeying her duty towards you, her father; the man who was supposed to protect and cherish her, but who instead threw her to the lions!" spat Mr Darcy, seemingly unable to stop his rash outburst despite his oath of a few minutes past to hold his tongue. The injustice of Mr Bennet's words had fanned the flames of his anger and disappointment and for the first time in months he had someone else at whom to direct his wrath rather than inwardly, at himself, whom he knew was the most to blame.

Mr Bennet sat back in his chair and slowly sipped his wine, as comprehension began to dawn on him. But he would be sure of his suspicions before he spoke them outright. He could still see the fire dancing behind Mr Darcy's agate orbs, and like a cat with a mouse, thought he might play a little more with his prey. "Now, now, Mr Darcy, I will not allow you to call my nephew... forgive me, my son-in-law, a lion. A donkey - perhaps; a toad – more likely, but a lion – never!"

"You mock your daughters suffering, yet you are the cause!"

"You are right Mr Darcy," he responded contritely. "In the one matter I would have wished Lizzy to be more disobliging, she capitulated without argument. Looking back now on how things turned out you may believe me when I say I wish I had not been so persuasive. How was I to know that the frail old father would out live the strapping young man?"

"You forget that the 'young man' still lives Sir," said Mr Darcy, and in a whispered aside added: "that is perhaps the greater torment."

"For my daughter or for you Mr Darcy?" softly enquired the old gentleman, his cat like eyes seeing more than Darcy would wish. But Darcy was weary and still slightly foxed and he hadn't the energy or the inclination to play games.

"I have done, and shall continue to do, all in my power to aid Elizabeth. Were I able to do more, Mr Bennet, you may believe that I would do it."

"Well, this lightens my heavy conscience considerably Mr Darcy. To think that all these many months I have blamed myself for Lizzy's unhappy situation, but now it would seem that I may lay an equal portion of the blame at your door."

Darcy's pride and strength seemed seep out of him, his shoulders slumped in dejection and his voice cracked as he replied; "It would be no less than I deserve Mr Bennet. Had I not been so foolish, obstinate and proud... but no, even then she would not have had me."

"Mr Darcy had you not been so foolish, obstinate and proud, you would have been precisely the type of man that Lizzy would have respected and admired; and despite first impressions sir, I believe that you are an amiable gentleman and I am glad to know that my dear Lizzy has such good friends."

"I understand your desire to have your daughter back home, but my sister and Mrs Collins have grown very close over the past few weeks and I believe Elizabeth is happy. I urge you to let her remain here in London for the present. My sister and I shall ensure she wants for nothing."

"And does my daughter know of the regard you have for her Mr Darcy" enquired Mr Bennet.

Darcy hesitated and after a long pause he bowed his head and reluctantly answered.

"Yes."

"Yes? How?" Mr Bennet's forehead was creased and his posture was suddenly alert and wary.

"I told her. It was one evening at Hunsford; your daughter had not accompanied her husband to dinner at Rosings, claiming illness as her excuse, I walked over to the parsonage to enquire of her health and to determine if there was anything I could provide to make her feel more comfortable. But I'm afraid my presence was little desired and we got into an argument."

"Yes, if I recall, you seemed to have a similar effect on my daughter during your stay in Hertfordshire," quipped Mr Bennet.

Darcy smiled at the memory of happier more innocent times before continuing his explanation. "Perhaps, but this time I lost my hold on all reason and allowed my passion free reign. Before I knew what I was about I had declared myself to Elizabeth - a married woman," he breathed bitterly, despair and sorrow clouding his features.

"And her reaction to your declaration, I assume, was a sharp set down?"

"Her reaction was no less than I deserved. Not only had I expressed love for another man's wife, but I had done everything in my power to make her think ill of me and was then surprised when she was repulsed by me." He set his glass down on the mantle and began to pace up and down before Mr Bennet, as memories and regrets flooded his mind.

Mr Bennet saw his distraction and his sadness and found that he actually felt pity for the man.

It was some moments before Darcy mastered his emotions enough to speak again.

"However, over the next few weeks she grew to know me better and I believe she forgave my insolence, and though I know I can never have any more than her friendship, I will treasure what little of her I can rightfully claim."

"And her reputation, Mr Darcy? Who shall protect that? Forgive me if I say that under the circumstances, though I believe you honourable and would trust you with the care of my child, you would not be my first choice as the guardian of her reputation. She is, after all, as you say 'a married woman' and I am by no means certain of your ability to remain disinterested in her presence, as you are not able to do so in mine."

"I understand your misgivings sir, and that is precisely the reason I have removed myself from my home and her company, and have taken up residence here in Charles' house. I would not do anything to harm Elizabeth."

"Undoubtedly my daughter has already made up her mind to remain in London - irrespective of my wishes on the subject, but should I find, as you say, that she is happy here then I shall rest easy knowing that you shall look after my girl." With these words Mr Bennet struggled to push himself out of his chair and, staggering slightly from the exertion, moved towards Mr Darcy with his right hand extended.

Darcy gratefully took the old man's withered hand in his own strong masculine grasp and tried to convey, by means of a mere hand shake, the relief he felt in knowing that Elizabeth's father knew the truth and yet still trusted him to take care of his daughter. He realised that he would never entirely forgive Mr Bennet, (just as he would never forgive himself), but that the two men could in fact share the blame of Elizabeth's fate and may thereby find common ground in their complicity, if not in their differing natures.

"Now, if you would be so obliging Mr Darcy, I must speak with Elizabeth, and shall be grateful of your escort."

Darcy swallowed hard; he had not seen Elizabeth in almost two weeks, except every night where she waited for him in his dreams...