Going Home

This is my first fan fiction and first time ever writing one of my fantasy stories. I would love to hear your opinions and look to working further on the story.

I do not own or have connection with the "Criminal Minds" program or its characters

The Housef

Aaron, David and Derek entered the house by way of the front door, as before Aaron feels the memories come through as he looks at those walls and walks into the living room. He looks around and sees the chair his mother died in. The bookcase next to the chair is now empty; Brian had come in and removed all of the videos, DVDs and films from that area. These are now buried in Kathy's casket. Around the room there are more sitting and conversation areas, but very little in terms of other things. The pictures on the wall are neutral and nothing he wants. He doesn't want anything from this room, heading right he hears a person going through the stuff in there. Walking into the room, Aaron sees Sean going through the closet, he is taking things out and putting them on the bed, he looks up.

Sean: "Hello Aaron. Couldn't keep him away, huh?" He looks pointedly at David and Derek. They had been talking to each other about the room and what they see of how Hotch is reacting to the rooms.

Hotch: "I have the right to come through the house."

Sean: "Are you calm and rational now."

Hotch: "I always have been." Sean Laughs, while David and Derek look at each other with concerned eyes. "What have you found in here, anything interesting?"

Sean: "Not really, just regular clothes and stuff, nothing that triggers any desire to keep it." He continues to go through the closet. Aaron begins to go through the bureau of drawers; he sees his mother's jewelry box and opens it up. There was much of costume jewelry and a few pieces of gold and real gem jewelry. He picks up a ring that knows was on his mothers hand for so many years until his father died and she took it off. She told him that she wasn't married anymore why wear a wedding ring. Both his parents' rings were there. He put the rings in the pockets of the dark blue Dockers he had on. He did take one other piece of jewelry, a necklace that was very blocky and looked like an old heirloom estate piece, it was his grandmothers. His mother talked about it and showed it to him once, she was very proud of the necklace, it was the only thing she had. He noticed a few other small pieces of men's jewelry and took these too; they had belonged to his father. Turning around, he noticed Sean was pulling boxes out of the closet now. He goes and begins to open the boxes, David and Derek help out by opening the boxes, and most of what was in these boxes was male clothing and old blankets and clothes. Aaron was pulling out suits, shirts and ties and shoes and socks even.

Hotch: "These belonged to my father. I thought mother threw them away. They were there one day and gone the next."

Sean: "Dad used to wear these things, they're so old style." Aaron chuckles.

Hotch: "Not when he wore them, they were in style then. Maybe we should donate them or something. You think the museum would like them." All the men laughed at that remark. Derek began to pack everything back up into the boxes and would take them out to the front lawn for pickup to a charitable organization. The other men then went through the dining room and into the kitchen. Aaron stopped at the kitchen door and looked around.

Hotch: "I don't think there is anything in here I want and I don't know what to do with any of it, except give it away. I was never allowed in here." He looks down. "You can see here where there used to be a gate attached to the wall, it was always locked."

Sean: "Yeah, I pulled it off when I was fifteen, just after you got married. Mother stopped cooking, so I had to start. Good thing I had Kathy, she had been teaching me to cook comfort and family foods for years. She even taught me how to can and make own syrups and jellies."

Hotch: "Kathy's the one who got you interested in becoming a chef."

Sean: "She introduced me to it; I made the decision to do it."

Hotch: "Well, you do what you want in here. I am going upstairs." Sean looks at David and asks with his eyes that he accompany Aaron upstairs and David nods and turns to follow Aaron.

Hotch: "Why don't you help Sean in the kitchen. I would like some time alone." He looks at David.

Rossi: "Are you sure? I'd love to help you out if I can."

Hotch: "I'm sure." David watches Aaron walk up the stairs and heads back to the kitchen; he explains to Sean that Aaron just needed some time alone.

Sean: "Aaron should not be by himself right now. He might be acting calm and relaxed about what we are going through, but he just went upstairs to the place that terrifies him the most. I doubt he will remain calm and unafraid. Please go and watch David. He may not want you there but he will need you there. Actually, if you could just pack this up and put it outside with the other boxes, I'll go upstairs and be with Aaron. I'd like to see how he handles himself. He asked you for time alone, not me."

Rossi: "Be careful and don't push too hard. He's vulnerable right now."

Sean: "That I know." He heads upstairs.

As Sean arrives he goes to the room on the right and sees Aaron looking at the set of bunk beds that was in there.

Sean: "I pulled off the rails on both bunks a long time ago; they were never really needed after all." Aaron turns and looks at Sean, he then looks around, there were so many emotions crossing his face, he wasn't sure how to really feel. The emotions of uncertainty and questions of what he was really seeing. Once again, that little boy was fighting the adult agent for control of this man. He walks over to the long table with its shelves underneath. He had so many memories of lying on this table looking up at the woman he called mother. Sean came over and held his big brother as he fought to control his feelings.

Hotch: "Did you ever wonder why this was here?"

Sean: "I knew why it was there, since I was about eight." Aaron stiffened at this news. "I heard the rumors from other people in town and remember I was always sent away the weekends you were here. We would have lunch or spend time in the park or the tree house, but never here at home. I did some snooping when you weren't here and discovered the diapers, bottles and stuff that mom kept for you. I never understood why you would allow her to do that to you. Kathy explained that you were doing it so that she didn't do it to me. How could you have known that she did nothing to me? She barely acknowledged I was there; her focus was always on when you were coming home next. I spent most of my childhood in Kathy's house or the tree house or friends houses, very little of it here. I lost some admiration for you for awhile there but I couldn't do that for long, you were my big brother and were doing great things outside of home, whatever she did to you had to have some meaning that was beyond me." Aaron turns to look at his 'younger 'brother who seems so grown up.

Hotch: "I am glad that we both had Kathy. "

Sean: "She was an amazing woman and you are an amazing man."

Hotch: "I don't feel like that right now" He notices the window and goes to it and looks at the house next door, specifically at the window that he looked out the night before. "She would be right across there looking through the window at me, in the beginning we couldn't communicate except through waves and smiles and hand gestures until…" He stops talking and looks around trying to find something. While he is looking around, both David and Derek come into the room. David sees the bedroom with an interest as he knows the story of it, but Derek looks around puzzled and in wonder as to who spent time here.

Morgan: "This room looks like a small child's room.

Sean: "Its looks the way it always has, since I was about two years old. Mother never allowed it to be changed, so it never has been."

Morgan: "Hotch and you grew up in this room."

Sean: "Well mostly I, Aaron was a teenager when I was born."

Morgan: "So his mother made him spend his teenager years living like a small child. That explains a little of his need to control everything. He never had any at home."

Rossi: "It was worse before Sean was born."

Morgan: "Worse, how could it have been worse?"

Rossi: "When Sean was born, Aaron wasn't the baby anymore." Derek looks at him wondering what he meant by that remark.

Hotch: "Yes, here it is." The other three men look at Aaron with interest on their faces at what this man has found. What they see is just two plastic cups connected by a large string. Aaron looks out the window again. "I found it Kathy; we used to talk all the time through this at night. Momma would put me to bed and I would crawl out and talk to you. We saw each every day but we never ran out of stuff to talk about. Our first telephone, I wish you were there for me to talk to you now. Who do I talk to now Kathy? You always just listened; you didn't advise or give suggestions. You always let me work it out for myself. You listened while I gave you the pieces and then remind me of them while I figured out how they work together. I'd figure it out and then you would give some profound piece of knowledge. One of my favorites was that we can't change what others do; we can only control what we do and how we react to it, either positively or negatively. We are only responsible for our own actions. But I send people to do things now and I am responsible for them and what they do. I have to feel responsible for their actions and their lives. What happens to them if they get hurt or do something to hurt others, I am responsible for that, aren't I Kathy? I have to go into that room now Kathy and I don't want to. It's not my fault that it happened, why was I punished for it? I still don't understand why Momma always took me to that room and make me look at it for hours. I don't want to go back in there Kathy. Don't make me go in there, tell me what to do so I don't have to." Aaron falls to his knees crying; Sean walks over to him and bends down to hold him. He looks at the other men with wonder of how to help this man who seems to be crumbling before their eyes. Aaron seems to be lost in a memory or past pain that he can't seem to work through. He is holding that plastic cup and string toy as if it were a lifeline. But a lifeline to what?