After an exhausting night, Peter should have been dead to the world. However, his mind wouldn't let him rest so he got up and made his way quietly out of bed. He glanced fondly down at his wife and was glad to see she was still sleeping peacefully. He made his way down the hall and softly opened Neal's door. He watched him for a moment and couldn't help but recall the events that had transpired last night.

It was a breakthrough of sorts but Peter was just sad that it had to come to El getting hurt for Neal to finally agree to some help.

He shut the door with a quiet click and walked downstairs to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. He needed to make some calls to arrange for therapy for Neal. Peter wanted to get Neal in quickly before he changed his mind. When Neal had been in the hospital, Dr. Watson had recommended a therapist that specialized in post-traumatic stress. Dr. Watson had given her a general overview of Neal's situation and although Dr. Regan had attempted to speak with Neal on several occasions she had been shut down immediately by the traumatized young man. Neal had been quite adamant in his refusal to see a therapist.

Peter sat down with his cup of coffee and called Dr. Regan's office. He was able to speak directly with the doctor and was pleased that she remembered Neal and would be willing to take him on as a patient. They spoke for a bit about Neal's background and the circumstances of his captivity. Peter had a good feeling that Dr. Regan would be able to help Neal through his trauma. Luckily, Dr. Regan had a last minute cancellation and would be able to see Neal a little later in the afternoon.

About an hour late, Peter heard Neal moving around upstairs. Peter went up to check on him and when he opened Neal's door Peter found him packing.

Getting over his shock quickly, Peter said, "Good morning Neal. What's going on here?"

Neal turned to face Peter, a look of guilt on his face. "Agreeing to stay last night was a mistake. I shouldn't be here." Neal said as he continued to pack. "I need to leave."

"What's this really about Neal?" Peter asked gently. "I know you're probably feeling anxious about therapy but you made the right decision."

"Yes, you did Neal." Elizabeth said as she stood beside her husband. "And Peter and I will be with you every step of the way."

He looked at the hopeful faces of Peter and El and didn't want to disappoint them. Neal felt lost. On the one hand, deep down he knew therapy was the right choice but on the other hand he couldn't bear to relive his ordeal to a perfect stranger.

"Alright, I'll go to therapy." Neal said.

A look of relief crossed both El and Peter's faces. Peter smiled and said, "It'll be fine Neal. The first step is always the hardest but you won't be alone."

WCWCWC

"It's going to be fine Neal. Dr. Regan only wants to help." Peter could see the anxiety reflected in Neal's eyes as they stood outside the waiting room.

Just then the office door opened and Dr. Regan came out to greet her new patient. She was an older lady with light blond hair and kind eyes. "Hello Neal, hello Peter," she said.

Immediately she could sense the tension and anxiety emanating from the young man. He unconsciously moved closer to Peter who put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Hi Dr. Regan. Nice to see you and thank you for fitting Neal into your schedule."

"Not a problem," Dr. Regan replied.

Meanwhile, Neal had not said a word and continued to stay by Peter's side with his eyes downcast.

"C'mon Neal, why don't we go into my office." Neal's head snapped up and his eyes grew wide with apprehension.

"It'll be fine Neal. Peter will be right outside."

"Go on Neal. I promise I'll be right here." Peter reassured.

Neal reluctantly followed Dr. Regan into her office. He felt a little dizzy and lightheaded. His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest.

"Please sit down Neal." As Neal sat, Dr. Regan couldn't help but notice how pale Neal had become. She knew he was headed for a panic attack.

"Would you like a glass of water?" Neal nodded.

As Neal took the glass of water, there was a slight tremor in his hands that also didn't go unnoticed by Dr. Regan. He drank greedily as his throat was so dry.

"Slow down Neal. Take a deep breath. In and out. In and out," she coached.

After a couple of minutes of following Dr. Regan's instructions, he was finally able to calm down a bit. His heartrate slowed down and his breathing wasn't as laboured.

"Good job Neal. Are you feeling a bit better?" Dr. Regan asked.

"I think there's something wrong with me." Neal said dejectedly.

"Why do you say that Neal?" the therapist prodded.

"Shouldn't I be over this by now? I was rescued and everything should be okay, but it's not!"

"There's no timetable or schedule for when you should feel okay. Everyone heals at their own pace. You probably don't believe me but I know that you will be okay. I'm here to help you through this process and I know that you have friends and family that are supporting you through this. Starting with Peter."

"Peter's been great. But I don't want to be a burden to him. He shouldn't have to take care of me."

Neal stayed quiet for a bit and Dr. Regan remained silent waiting for Neal to collect his thoughts and continue.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind."

"Having post traumatic stress doesn't mean you're losing your mind. It's your mind's way of coping with the chain of unspeakable events that happened to you."

"Bad things happen to good people Neal and I'm sorry this happened to you."

"But, I'm not a good person," Neal whispered so quietly she almost didn't hear him. "I'm a criminal. I hurt people."

"Neal, please look at me," she said gently. Neal reluctantly met her eyes.

"You did some bad things but that doesn't make you a bad person."

"But Sir said…" Neal trailed off and looked down quickly.

"He was a sick, evil man. He took great pleasure in hurting you. You can't believe the things he said. He only said them to hurt you. I know it's hard for you to believe but with time and therapy you will get past this and get your life back."

"That just doesn't seem possible. I'll never be who I was before…everything. I'm damaged goods…not worth it." Neal sighed and put his hands through his hair. He was tired…so tired of getting up every morning and fighting to get through the day.

She could see the defeat reflected in Neal's eyes. It wasn't uncommon for a person who suffered great trauma to experience depression and she wanted to get ahead of it for Neal.

"Neal, I'd like for you to consider taking a mild anti-depressant."

Neal's head snapped up. "No, no drugs. I'm not taking anything. You can't make me." Neal started to become agitated.

"It's okay Neal. I'm not forcing you to do anything. I just think that the medication would be a help to you. We'll leave it for now and can revisit your decision in the future. Now our time is up for today. I want you to try some of those relaxation techniques we discussed and think about what we talked about. I'll see you next time Neal. Can you please send Peter in."

Neal nodded and walked out to the waiting room. Peter jumped up as soon as he saw Neal.

"How'd it go Bud?", he asked.

"Alright", Neal mumbled, his eyes downcast.

"I'll just go speak to the doctor and we can get out of here." Neal didn't respond as he took a seat in the waiting room.

With a final glance at Neal, Peter went to meet with the doctor.

Ordinarily, therapy sessions were confidential but Neal had given permission for the doctor to discuss his sessions with Peter.

"Hey Doc, how'd it go with Neal?"

"He's still struggling with feelings of worthlessness. Those weeks in captivity and the brainwashing he was exposed to really did a number on his self-esteem and his sense of self-worth. I suggested he take a mild anti-depressant but he was quite adamant in his refusal."

"What can I do to help Neal?" Peter asked.

"The more you can get him to share his experience in captivity the more it will help break the power that Sir had over him. Although it's going to be very difficult to relive I truly believe this will be healing for Neal."

Peter nodded in agreement. "I've tried to talk to him about his captivity but he just shuts down. I'm not sure what to do anymore."

The therapist thought for a moment. "I read in Neal's file that he's a gifted artist. Perhaps he could use his art as an outlet for his pain. Even if Neal isn't comfortable expressing himself verbally, his art could be a good way for him to feel some semblance of normalcy."

WCWCWC

Peter hoped he was doing right by Neal. All he wanted to do was help his friend heal from the horrific ordeal he had gone through. He took the therapist's advice and a couple of days later stopped off at Neal's apartment to pick up some of his art supplies. Neal was staying with Peter for the foreseeable future and he wanted to make sure that he had some of the comforts of home. Peter agreed with the therapist and thought it was a good idea for Neal to start drawing again.

Peter walked through the door and found Neal sitting on the couch. The TV was turned on but Neal wasn't watching. Peter would catch Neal just gazing blankly ahead. He had learned the hard way that getting Neal's attention was a delicate exercise, if Neal's reaction after being discharged was any indication.

"Hey Neal. I'm back." Peter crouched in front Neal so that he was in Neal's line of sight and spoke softly. He didn't touch him and waited until Neal made eye contact with him. "I got something for you."

Neal seemed to snap out of his reverie and looked at Peter. Peter handed him a bag filled with his art supplies. There was a sketch pad, some pencils, charcoal and paint.

"Dr. Regan thought it might do you some good to start drawing again." What do you say, wanna give it a try?"

"What should I draw?" Neal asked hesitantly.

"Anything you want buddy." Peter replied.

For the first time in a long while, Peter saw a spark of life in Neal's eyes.

WCWCWC

Over the next few days, Neal carried his sketch pad with him everywhere. He would draw whenever he would feel overwhelmed. His sketches were dark; they were from the time of his captivity. Sir's eyes, the tank, the things he saw when he was hallucinating. Peter had asked to see his sketches but he couldn't show Peter. He didn't want him to know the dark thoughts he had and all the horrible things he had experienced.

He did bring his sketches to his therapy sessions with Dr. Regan. They were able to look at the drawings and Neal was able to talk about some parts of his ordeal. By talking about his experiences, it took away some of the power Sir had over him. Neal was opening up and started to slowly believe that therapy was helping him to heal. He would never be the same person he was before the kidnapping but he was learning to accept this new reality. This new Neal was able to better cope with the emotions that still at times would catch him by surprise.

Something clicked with Neal and he wanted to believe that he could heal from this. He didn't want his experience with Sir to define who he was. He was finally ready to reclaim his life and let go of the horrors that had ruled his life for so long.