Usual disclaimers apply and again all daft mistakes are pitifully mine. Again there are so many people to say my thanks to but RL had kept me totally swamped me and I just haven't had the time to respond in person as yet. Anyway after pulling an all-nighter and consuming too many cups of coffee this chapter, long as it is, was the end result. Feedback as always warmly welcomed. Rozzy.
Growing Pains – Chapter 14: Donuts.
His skin 'prickled', that's the only way he could think to describe the eerie sensation as his senses came back onto full alert. He could feel a shift in the dynamics of his surroundings and his eyes snapped open to flick quickly around the room for any signs of danger.
Blinking bleary eyed against the weak sunshine filtering in through threadbare curtains Dean noticed two things, that their dad was no longer in the room with them and that his brother's semi-lucid gaze was fixed on him.
Pushing back aside his annoyance at their dad having just upped and left without even trying to wake him Dean acknowledged his brother with a wide grin, "Hey runt long time no see."
When there was no attempt at a response Dean leant in, biting down a hiss of discomfort at the stiffness in his back, and brushed at the damp chocolate bangs to clear enough of a path to stare fully into his brother's eyes, "Cat got your tongue Emo boy?"
When he only got his brother's unfocused stare Dean found himself asking, a little unnerved by his silence, "You want me to get you something, Dad maybe?"
His reward was a barley perceptible shake of his brother's head and Dean took that as sign that whatever fog clouded his little brother's mind was starting to lift. That and the brief flash of dimples that screamed 'Sammy's back in the house' to him.
Letting his fingers linger on his brother's forehead he could feel the heat still being generated and he voiced his disquiet, "Hell of a cold you caught dude. You go running around in nothing but your boxers to impress the local girls or something?"
Sam gave another feint shake of his head and Dean answered as lightly as he could for him, "Long story I bet. But don't worry I can wait to beat the details out of you when you're up to taking a licking…"
Dean watched his brother readying to fall asleep again as his eyes started to flutter shut and he opted for action. Ignoring the sharp spike of pain as his wounds reminded him that sleeping in a hard chair had not been the wisest of choices he dropped onto the bed besides his brother, giving him a playful nudge with his knee, "Bed hogging time over dude, squidge up a bit."
Heavy lidded blue-green eyes flickered open but Dean could have sworn he saw a real smile stretch across his little brother's face, no matter how briefly, as he shuffled back to make room.
Dean stretched out, letting a deep appreciative sigh escape as the soft mattress supported his sore butt and threw a cheesy grin at Sam, "Damn, that feels good."
Trembling fingers brushed up against Dean's hand as his brother reached out for him, managing to voice out in a scratchy whisper, "Hey Dean…you came back."
"It speaks!" smirked back Dean and he found himself asking again, "You need anything Sammy? Cold meds, a shot of whisky, some local girl to practice French kissing on? Anything?"
Sam's eyes flickered lazily over to the bedside cabinet and Dean had his answer. "Thirsty, eh? Yeah by the looks of things you've been sweating up a storm."
A little surprised at just how compliant his brother was being he managed to lift him up into the crook of his arm and gently placed a glass of water to his cracked lips, "Sip it slowly dude. Don't want you puking it all up in my lap."
For his part Sam nodded his understanding and managed to swallow the first few sips with a grimace of discomfort on his face, the cool liquid stinging his raw throat. After a few more sips he shook his head too tired to do anything more than just fall back against his brother chest, taking comfort in the beat of his heartbeat thumping back at him.
Dean couldn't keep the worry from his voice as he felt Sam sag back against him, "I leave you alone for a few weeks and you end up looking like shit little brother."
"I'm sorry …got sick, let you down," came back Sam's muffled response.
Cocking an eyebrow in disbelief that his brother could think himself at fault Dean ground his teeth together fighting back his own anger, "Hey you can't exactly help it you get whammied by Mother Freaking Nature can you?
Letting his brother's words wash over him Sam stilled for a moment then tilted his head up again to search out his brother's face, " You okay Dean?"
A half laugh of disbelief met his brother's words, and Dean pointed to himself with a mocking shake of his head, "Me? I'm not the one lying in bed as sick as a dog am I kiddo?"
Sam's fingers looped around his brother's amulet, its touch a reassurance that the nightmares could now come to an end as he confessed, "Just that I had bad dreams is all."
Dean tried to keep the tremor from his voice, all to aware of the night terrors that plagued his brother at times, feeling more than a ping of guilt that he hadn't been around to put an end to them. "Jeez Sammy I thought you had grown out of those all-night scream-like-a-girl marathons!"
Sam took a long juddering breath as he tried to push the images away that had haunted him this past week and admitted, "It seemed so real, that you got hurt…there was blood…and I couldn't help you."
"Come on now you know they're just dreams Sammy. Just stupid dreams," came back Dean smoothly, ignoring the fire flaring up his back as his own body screamed out what a liar he was. "Nothing can hurt me, I'm Teflon coated remember?"
Sam looked up with a threat of a smile on his face and any lingering concerns dissipated as he accepted the lie. Dean paused for a second then decided he had waited long enough to worm the truth out of seemingly more lucid brother, "So you wanna tell me how you got so sick?"
Sam's answer was a bout of violent coughing that left him struggling just to get air into his lungs, never mind offer up any sort of explanation to his brother. As the coughing fit started to subside he felt the press of a glass against his lips again and the smooth slide of water helped to ease away the choking sensation.
Managing to throw a grateful look up at his brother Sam whispered tiredly, "Thanks Dean."
"Its okay Sam. Rest up easy now."
A slow yawn muffled his voiced as Sam admitted, "Kinda tired still."
As his little brother leant back into him Dean found himself chewing his bottom lip as fresh worry ate away at him. The memory of the athletic sun-kissed boy he had waved goodbye to in California was at odds with how he appeared now, bleached of colour and shrunken in frame.
As the seconds ticked by Dean rubbed a hard thumb over his brother's hand, wanting desperately for him to stay awake and furnish him with the truth of what had been going on with him, "Hey Sam, you still with me here? Don't go drifting off yet."
His brother's response was just to burrow his face further into his chest, muttering something unintelligible and Dean nodded his understanding, "Guess this means I'm your glorified pillow for the rest of the morning."
He shifted up taller against the headboard to try and get a little bit more comfortable only to feel his brother's bony shoulder digging into him, ''Gotta beef you up runt. Get some meat sticking to those ribs again.'
For almost an hour Dean sat propped up against the headboard but his lie of earlier came back to haunt him as the burn in his torn backside grew too painful to ignore. "Sorry kiddo, cramping up here big time. Gonna have to offload you for a while - okay?"
Dean carefully manoeuvred himself out from under his brother's unresponsive form and settled him back on the bed. When he went to tuck a pillow under his head Dean stilled, sucking in a startled breath as the sunlight revealed for the first time the dark bruising on his brother's forehead.
Pushing the heavy bangs further back to inspect the discolouration more closely his fingers brushed against the knot of stitches in his scalp and Dean spat out his alarm, "What the hell?"
Hastily he went to inspect his brother for any further damage, pulling back the top blanket and slightly damp sheet. His mouth went dry as he took in the large purpling bruises that marred Sam's throat. "A 'cold' my ass. I can't believe the old man could lie to me like this."
Swallowing down his fear Dean pulled the covers back catching sight of even more bruises and scratches on his arms and torso. "Ah shit kid, looks like something fugly used you for batting practice."
The fizz of disquiet at finding his father gone on waking now threatened to explode out as pure undiluted rage. If this was the man's idea of looking after his brother then serious words needed to be spoken with maybe a big of shoving an yelling also.
Further doubts about his dad's parenting abilities had him curse out loud, "What'd you do old man? Take my little brother on that damn demon hunt after all and end up getting him beat half to death?"
As if aware of the anger manifesting itself as almost like a physical entity Sam curled away from the source, murmuring his disquiet and trembling at the lack of warmth that had been wrapped around him only minutes earlier.
Hastily Dean responded by snatching up the bedding to cover him again only to freeze in horror at seeing the state of his baby brother's back. Stunned he sank back down on the bed, his fingers hesitantly touching the wound and he stuttered out his brother's name like soft prayer, "Ah no Sam…Sam… Sammy."
When the door creaked open Dean's head snapped up and he turned furious eyes on the approaching man. "You better start spilling preacher man. What the hell did this to my brother?"
"Dean please," pleaded Jim as he took in what had Dean so agitated, placing the small tray of medication at the foot of the bed as he added. "Stay calm."
"Calm?" spat out Dean between clenched teeth as he drew the blanket over Sam's shoulder, "It looks like something used my baby brother as a punch bag and you expect me to be freaky calm?"
"Yes I do," responded Jim gently as he eyed the clearly frightened older Winchester boy, "You kicking up a storm is not going to help your brother now is it?"
Remembering his last conversation with the Pastor before he took off for Florida Dean threw an accusing look at the older man, "You know I thought we had an understanding that Sam wasn't to be anywhere near this hunt you had going on with my old man?"
Jim shook his head in denial, "I kept to that agreement. I'm afraid Samuel encountered his own little pocket of trouble here in Baudette all by himself."
Confused Dean looked at Jim again fear making him edgy, "Exactly when did this all happen?"
Choosing his words as carefully as he could, sensing just how volatile the younger man was Jim gave up only the minimum of the truth, "A few nights back. A combination of a drunk driver and nature at its worse has done the damage you see I'm afraid."
The realisation hit him hard, that he had really close to losing his brother and the fear mutated into full on rage, "This drunken idiot have a name? An address?"
Seeing the murder in Dean's eyes Jim buckled slightly, telling more than he had intended, "Burnett. Owned the local gas station and store at the crossroads leading up to the cabin. He caught Sam walking home in a storm, then crashed the car and your brother ended up going one-on-one with the windscreen."
Voicing his disbelief Dean turned his attention back to his brother, "Nah, Sammy would never get in some drunk's car. I taught him better than that. Something doesn't add up here."
"Please don't blame the boy, he was caught between a rock and a hard place. Burnett had a mouth on him and I think our young Samuel was worried that he'd tell half of Baudette he was home alone and all the crap that would follow. He didn't know the man was drunk until it was too late."
His blood boiling Dean felt a physical need to hit something, "I'm going to kill the bastard."
Jim's fingers clenched his shoulder to restrain him, "No need son, someone already did that job for us. Hit and run. Quite a fitting ending for a very unsavoury man by all accounts."
The air escaped from Dean's lung in a long hiss, all too aware of what a restless spirit could do, "And the body. You make sure he can't come back and hurt my brother again?"
"Joshua sorted things out afterwards if you get my drift. Sam is safe from him."
Dean's found a fresh channel for his anger and he growled out the older hunter's name, "Josh huh? None of this would have happened it that idiot had kept his pants zipped up and been here to look after my brother like he was supposed to."
He glanced back at Sam and his vision swam as he took on board just how close he had come to losing him. Anger dominated his thoughts as he spun back to Jim and demanded, "Where is he?"
Jim quickly barred his way placing himself bodily in front of the door, "Hold up now Dean, remember your brother told him not to come. Joshua would have sooner cut his own throat than have any kind of harm come to Samuel. He feels guilty enough as it is."
When Dean went to push past him he refused to budge and he said tellingly, "Don't lay blame at anyone's feet till you know the full facts and the truth of what happened."
"How many different versions of the truth do you expect me to swallow? Everyone's been lying to me, hell I bet right now there's a part of you lying to me. You guys wouldn't know what the truth was if it came up and bit you on the ass."
A brief glint of anger flashed in Jim's eyes, but he managed to keep his control, "That's enough Dean. Your primary concern should be in helping your brother fight off this bout of pneumonia and not go off half cocked readying to do some bloodletting."
The truth of just how serious his brother's condition was hit him like a tonne of bricks and Dean sagged back down beside him, his hands shaking as he reached to touch his brother's hot brow again, "God I sort of guessed he was really sick, but nothing like this."
"Dean it's not as bad as it looks. Sam's fighting it hard and is making great improvements,' mustered back Jim trying to offset the damage of his blunt confession.
"Not as bad as it looks? Why the hell isn't he in a hospital getting the care that he needs?"
Placing a placating hand on the younger man's shoulder Jim could feel the panic racing through him. "If your dad had taken him to a hospital looking the way he did Child Services would have gotten involved. The risk of them taking your brother away was just to great."
Biting back the threat of tears Dean looked back at his sleeping brother, "Risk? My little brother has freaking pneumonia Jim. You don't fuck around with a thing like that."
"No you don't," agreed Jim ignoring the strong language, "Joshua's doctor friend has been here looking after Samuel and believe me he is much improved. I bet by the end of the week he'll back to his normal self and have us all run rings around him as usual."
"What tinted glasses are you looking at things through here? He looks like death warmed up as is. Hell he barely recognised me when he first woke up."
Fingering his sore jaw Murphy chuckled softly, "Ah but he did and you have to take my word that it is a great improvement, especially when some of us have the bruises to tell us otherwise. Sam believe me is getting better. Just ask your dad."
"And be fed another bucket load of lies," growled back Dean, standing stiffly to face the Pastor. "I don't think so."
"Give him a chance that's all I'm asking here. Things are not always so black and white as you might think."
Unable to keep the bitterness from spilling out Dean locked eyes with the pastor, "You don't get it do you? I had to trust that this just this once he cared enough try and act like a parent."
Guessing where his thoughts were at Jim voiced them for him, "And you feel he let you down? That John didn't meet his responsibilities. And that's why your brother is sick now."
"What do you think? Fucking bang up job he did in keeping his son safe?" Wiping away a tear Dean looked sadly back at his brother, " I can deal with him letting me down when he sees fit, but it's become a pattern with Sammy. He just keeps screwing things up with him, time and time again."
Jim felt the temptation to agree wholeheartedly with Dean but knew that it would serve no purpose other than to drive an even bigger wedge between John and his oldest, "I admit your dad has his faults but underneath that he does love you both. Its what drives him on, his love for you two boys."
Shaking his head Dean looked around the threadbare room "Quantify the term love here Pastor. You think he even noticed what a godawful shit hole he left Sammy in this time out?"
A sad smile ghosted across the Pastor's face recalling his own harsh words with John the day before, "He knows Dean. Believe me he knows."
o0o0o0o0o0o0o
As Joshua pulled up outside the cabin his eyebrows lifted in surprise at seeing the impala parked up with Caleb sleeping inside it. Slowly he walked over and tapped lightly on the window startling the man awake. When the window was wound down Joshua leant in concerned at his old friend's grey appearance, "You okay Cal?"
When Caleb offered up a small shrug Joshua straightened up and walked around to the passenger side of the car squeezing himself to sit beside his old friend. "So I take it you know that happened?"
"Yeah, Jimmy filled me in the early hours of this morning though both Dean and myself had an inkling something was up with the kid." Caleb paused throwing a telling look at his fellow hunter. "Hard to take on board Sam getting hurt like that all on his own."
Joshua swallowed down his own guilt and asked, "So how did Dean take it?"
"Too early to say. The long drive back really took it out of him and he literally crashed the moment he clapped eyes on his sleeping brother."
Joshua grimaced, "So the proverbial pile of crap hasn't hit the fan yet."
"Think we would have felt the explosive concussion by now if it had." Caleb swivelled in his seat to warn his friend. "Might be wise to go south of the border and keep under Deans' radar for a while. He's gonna want to shoot something and I reckon you're going to be the first in his firing line. Either that or he'll beat the crap out of you."
Nodding his understanding Joshua's sourly agreed, "Nothing I don't deserve, just left wondering why you haven't tried to punch my lights out for dropping the ball like this with the kid?"
Caleb scrubbed a hand over his stubbled chin and admitted, "I thought on it but the truth is I'm too freaking tired…so maybe later, when I get mean drunk I'll take a swing at you then."
"Thanks for the heads up, I'll be sure to try and duck," murmured back Joshua a little uncomfortable at the frankness of Caleb's words. "So why were you sleeping in the car?"
"Well it wasn't my intention. It just felt a little stifled inside with John pacing a hole in the kitchen floor waiting for Dean to appear. Thought it best to hide out here for a while before everything goes nuclear."
Half heartedly Joshua hinted at an escape, "We could just leave them to it ya know. We have Jim still around to broker a peace agreement if things escalate to full out war between Dean and John."
"Is that a streak of yellow I see running down your spine?" laughed Caleb softly.
Joshua flashed back a weak smile, "Hell yes. I'm not setting another foot inside again till I see some sort of white flag waving in my direction."
Caleb could see despite his attempt of bravado the hollow look in his eyes, "You might be out here for a hell of long time Josh. Not like the Winchesters to forgive and forget is it?"
Caleb nudged Joshua and both heads turned the cabin as Dean passed the window en route to the kitchen, "Look like things are about to hot up. Lets just pray the big man is wearing his flak jacket."
Joshua turned to his friend and with a wicked grin offered up, "Twenty bucks on John being dug up from an icy grave next Spring if he overplays his hand with Dean."
"My twenty bucks is saying that they'd never find his remains," growled back Caleb as he watched the cabin with a flutter of apprehension in his tummy.
"Yeah guess you'd be right. Dean would double quick time salt and burn his bones." Joshua couldn't hold back a judder on pondering the possibilities, "God do you think there could be anything worse than having the seriously bad tempered spirit of John Winchester haunting us. Now that would be a nightmare made real."
"Haunt us? You I can see him wanting to come back from the grave to strangle, but not me," smirked back Caleb, "I'm the golden boy here remember?"
o0o0o0o0o0o0o
A genuine smile flickered across John's face when he turned to see his oldest standing in the kitchen doorway and he reached across to clap a hand on his shoulder in greeting, "Hey son, it's good to see you up and about. How you doing?"
"Me? Just peachy old man. Still I can't quite say the same for my brother."
Ignoring the pointed jibe John continued, "I heard from Caleb that you got cut up pretty bad in Florida. Said it was pretty nasty by all accounts."
Dean's voice was deceptively calm as he admitted, "Nothing a few nicely placed stitches couldn't sort out."
He saw his dad flinch but he continued, "Still on the plus side I'm gonna have a nice set of scars to get the girls excited about. Just like Sam has some fresh scars of his own to show off doesn't he dad?"
John's eyes glinted a little too brightly as he took in not only the anger but also the mistrust on his oldest son's face and guessed he was the reason behind it. "Son just let me explain things, about what happened here with your brother."
Dean for his part took in the weariness etched on his face and absorbed the fact that his dad looked beat, the worst he had seen him in a long time and could guess that his little brother was the cause of it. A twinge of pity made his words come out softer than he intended, "Just dish up the truth dad. I don't think I can stomach any more lies, not from you, not when it comes to my brother."
Shoulders slumping John seemed to deflate even further as he quizzed his son, "So what did Jim tell you?"
"I managed to squeeze out of him something about a drunk driver, about Joshua sorting out the body, but really little else. I'm guessing he thinks it's your job to tell me really how you let my brother get into such a mess."
Trying to gauge what damage control he had to do John asked softly, "So Jim didn't say anything else?"
There was a long pause before Dean added with more than a hint of bitterness, "Oh there was that little snippet of information that my baby brother has pneumonia and not the little cold you told me about."
Daring to lock eyes with his oldest John drew himself up square again and admitted, "Sounds pretty bad doesn't it Dean. Your brother getting hurt and then sick on top of everything else."
Dean was coiled so tightly his voice vibrated under his barely contained anger, "Ya think? Sam was just not high enough on your list priorities I guess."
Shaking his head in denial John's face hardened as he spat back, "That's a lie. You boys are my life."
"No dad, we're not. Not when it comes to you and hunting. At best we trail a poor second."
John knew that he was losing his oldest child and his desperation grew, "Your wrong Dean I do know where my priorities lie, and its always been with you two."
Noticing the sneakers he had bought his brother at the beginning of the summer drying on the stove Dean picked them up and the disquiet that had been eroding away his self control was now roaring in his ears, "Yeah I can see just were your priorities lay since you left California and it wasn't ever with Sammy."
Defiantly John stood his ground, trying to regain some modicum of control before the full truth in all its awfulness spilled out and he lost any hope of getting his son back on his side. "There was a lot going on and as usual your brother never said anything. He wasn't speaking to me remember? I'm not a freaking mind reader."
"No, what you were supposed to be was his dad - just this once at least."
"Don't you dare remind me what's written on his birth certificate," growled back John his own anger growing as Dean kept the digs coming in on his bad parent status. "I do my best with that boy but its never easy with him, not like it's been with you."
Dean slammed the sneakers back on the stove, "Best? You couldn't even buy him a pair of fucking boots dad. Hell I doubt you would have noticed him standing buck naked in a snow storm."
John looked guilty at the tatty footwear recalling the time his youngest boy had stood before him after having walked home in the freezing rain and he still hadn't noticed a thing wrong with the scene, "I let him down, I know."
He heard his son snort out loud in disgust and John responded as truthfully as he could, "Heaven help me I just assumed he'd ask if he needed stuff."
Dean stared openly in disbelief at his dad, "Sam gave up on asking anything from you when he turned nine, you just never cared to notice."
The words sunk in biting hard and John found himself blinking way the hot sting of tears, "It just became easier for you to be my eyes and ears when it came to looking after the boy."
"Yeah well you sent me off to Florida remember? This time out of the gate you were supposed to be that pair of eyes."
"And I screwed up big time didn't I Dean?" John cradled his head in his hands the enormity of his mistakes hitting hard. His voice broke as he confessed, "I almost lost him for you son. I didn't see what Burnett was. Didn't realise what sort of man he was…what he tried to do to my little boy."
Dean felt his stomach flip-flop and his voice was thin with fear, "You trying to scare me here dad?"
John slowly raised his head, dark eyes bright with tears as he looked at his oldest boy, saw the fear on his face, "I promised Sam that he could tell you. He begged me Dean to keep it a secret. What do I do here?"
Fiercely Dean shook his head, "You don't get to keep secrets from me, not when it involves my brother."
John nodded but he found it hard to get the words out, "Sam… your brother, well he thought you'd be mad at him just like I told him I was when I heard he'd it gotten into vehicle driven by some drunkard."
"Nothing new there," countered Dean sourly but stilled his tongue needing to hear the rest of his dad's confession.
John grimaced at the raw honesty behind his son's words, "Yeah I really lived up to his low expectations. You'll be pleased to hear that I tore strips off him and never listened to a word he said until he got angry, and only then when he said stuff that made me see red."
"Still doesn't explain why he thought I'd be mad at him," Dean leant in nose-to-nose to his father and growled out, "Or why he'd be too scared to tell me."
John swallowed hard before admitting, "That's my fault I guess. I just didn't think of the damage I was doing till it was too late but by then he got it into his head that you'd be doubly disappointed with him. It broke him Dean thinking that you could hate him. Like he thought I hated him."
Dean felt the bile in his throat on realising just how little support his brother had gotten from their dad, his knuckles white in a tight fist, "You were his only port of call dad, he'd been hurt and you shut him out. That's what you're telling me, correct?"
John bowed his head, his failures weighing heavy again, "I didn't even notice he had been hurt Dean, or even spot the signs that he was falling sick."
Dean's contempt dripped off his voice, "Like I said before the boy just doesn't register with you at times does he dad? How could you have not seen any of this?"
"I didn't see Sammy, all I saw were his questionable mistakes. It just fuelled my disappointment with him till he got angry and ended up saying terrible things, and I that's when just lost it completely.
"You hit him?" gasped out Dean in disbelief, his faith and trust in his father slipping even further away.
John shook his head in a hasty denial, "No. But I said words more painful than any mark my hand could have left. I drove Sam away when I should have been holding him tight after what Burnett tried to do."
"Do?" Dean found himself stumbling away from this dad, his mind racing and his heart beating painfully in his chest. "Do what?"
Aware of the damage he was about to do with the telling he took a long deep steadying breath, "Guess I break another promise to your brother, but your right, you really do need to know."
"Spit it out. I'm going crazy here with worry."
Daring to look at his older boy he saw the terror on his face, his mind leapfrogging ahead to the ugly truth he was about to reveal. "Burnett was a pervert Dean, a sexual predator. He'd been stalking your brother since we got here."
The blood ran from Dean's face and he whispered out his disbelief, "No, not my baby brother. Not that."
John continued, not daring to stop afraid that if he did he would never be able to tell him the whole sordid truth, "The bastard had targeted other boys in the past and knew just to bide his time with Sam. I left your brother alone with a fucking paedophile waiting on the doorstep."
He didn't see the fist hook into his face only felt the impact as he was knocked to the floor. The warm gush of blood sliding down his throat made him gag and he spat out a mouthful of crimson on to the floor. Turning watery eyes up to his son who towered over him he nodded his understanding, "Hit me again if it makes you feel better son. Not gonna change the fact that I let you down, let your brother down, so yeah a few more hits might distract me enough not to feel this gnawing pain in my gut in anymore."
"No," sobbed back Dean brokenly sinking to his knees, "You promised me he'd be okay dad. You promised."
John took a long juddering breath wiping away his own tears as he sat up to meet his son's gaze, "I'm sorry son."
Dean threw an accusing look at his father, "I let you take him away from me only because you said this was the best thing for my brother. Toughen him up, that's what you said. How is letting some fucking pervert rape him achieve that stupid goal?"
In an instant John crushed his son to him and shouted out a denial, "No son, no! I'm sorry if I let you think that, but the bastard didn't get a chance to touch your brother - not like that."
"Sammy wasn't…." Dean couldn't get the word out and John quickly interjected. "No son. You'd be proud of what our boy did, beat the man off and had him running scared for his life."
Relief washed over him and Dean found himself asking with a brittle voice. "You really sure?"
"One hundred percent sure. I had the doc check him over and he confirmed what he told me," John snorted softly pride making his voice wobble, "The boy did us proud."
Dean pulled away from his dad, and slowly got back to his feet. The initial fury at his dad mistakes had died down to a cold contempt. "Hallelujah, little Sammy has earned you respect at long last eh dad? And all he had to do was beat off a rapist, survive a road crash and deal with a bout of pneumonia. You have any idea what he might have to do now for an encore?"
John staggered back to his feet, sensing his son emotionally pulling away from him again, "Dean please, I get it, your pissed here but I honestly didn't think your brother would come to the harm he did. I thought he was safe here."
"Seems you hardly think on anything when it comes to Sammy," spat back Dean his hackles rising, "You even check this Burnett dude out before you dumped and run?"
John flinched at taking the verbal hit at his lack of parenting skills again, "What was there to check out? He was just the local storeowner and didn't exactly have the word 'Pervert' tattooed on his fucking forehead."
Dean wasn't ready to be listen to his dad's excuses, "So how many times did you go into that store and not notice the way he have looked at my brother. How could you not have known what sort of man he was?"
Stabbing a finger at his son John barked back, "Its always so easy to second guess things from a distance."
Squaring his shoulders Dean's mask of control fell back into place and he coldly remarked, "Second guessing is not a luxury you can afford when it comes to Sam. That's something you drummed into me from the moment he could walk."
John saw the big freeze going on with his oldest and sank back dejectedly back on to a chair and he finally had to admit, "I understand you hate me son. But what do you want me to do here? How can I make any of this right with you or your brother if you both shut me out?"
Dean could see how close to breaking his dad actually was and his voice wavered in response, "If you have to ask then your well and truly screwed old man."
"Please son, I really don't know what to do here. After all these years I thought I knew how to protect you both. I just forgot that not all bad things live in the dark and I almost let that mistake take Sammy from me, from us."
Dean studied his father, and was forced to realise just how close his family was to falling apart as he watched his dad crumble before him. For most of life he had struggled to keep their damaged unit of three together and he wasn't about to let it shatter apart in front of him now.
Clearing his throat Dean offered up, "You could just try being our dad. Sam is going to need to feel safe again. Can you do that for him?"
John nodded his head, a wintry smile testing his features as he sensed some form of forgiveness coming from his eldest. "Yeah son, I think I can do that."
"It would be good if you could," murmured Dean carefully thinking on what to say next, "Especially for Sammy. He has to know that he's worth more to you than a quarter a bag of salt."
John's lips trembled at the reminder of the bitter words he had used on his youngest in the past. Catching Dean's eyes he tried to offer up an apology, "I said that didn't I and I never made it right with him. You think he'll ever stop hating me after all of this?"
Recalling how his brother had slept so peacefully in his dad's embrace last night he shook his head, "Aw Dad…you still don't get it do you? The kid might not like you at times, even hate your guts for all the crap you put him though, but he's always loved you."
John drew his son to him, desperately aware at just how close he had come to losing his family, finding a comfort and reassurance when Dean didn't pull away. "I hope your right about Sammy, I really do. I love that kid more than life itself. Like we both do."
o0o0o0o0o0o0o
After the uneasy truce brokered earlier in the day John wisely decided to leave Dean to watching over his brother.
Jim had insisted on sticking around, just to make sure that the peace lasted before daring to go home and as he sat eating almost burnt toast and drinking bad coffee he asked, "You think you really can do this Johnny – give up hunting and let you boys have normal for a while?"
"I have to Jim or I'll risk losing them both."
The knock on the door broke up their chat and Jim hastily shot to his feet, "Bet that's Birdy with Josh lurking outside in the shadows."
John allowed a rare smirk to grace his face, "The guy still afraid of that having to take a verbal licking from Dean?"
"That or something worse. I best let them in and hide Joshua behind the sofa or something."
Dean though had already beaten the pastor to the front door, eager to meet the man who was supposedly making his brother better. On seeing him though he gave him a less than welcoming reception, "Let me guess you're that quack Joshua rustled up to play doctor with Sammy?"
Riled at the less than civil reception Hal snapped back, "The medical diploma on my office wall has the title doctor if that's what you're referring to."
Dean looked him up and down and sneered back, "Must be hard to practicing real medicine being so vertically challenged."
"Tall or short they're very much the same on lying down," sniped back Hal dryly waiting for the man to step aside to let him in. When there was no movement he twitched his nose in irritation, "I should warn you that I charge by the minute."
Dean stepped grumpily to the side and muttered loudly enough for everyone to hear, "Anyone check this dude's licence to practice medicine other than in the Land of the Munchkins?"
A quirk of amusement lifted Hal's top lip despite himself, already liking the man with the sarcastic tongue in front of him. "You always this charming to the people that keep battered fifteen year olds off the radar of the Child Protection Services."
Dean bit back a response, knowing in part his reaction to the man was due to the fact that his pain meds had worn off a two hours ago and he shrugged out an apology. "Sorry I'm just a little grouchy."
Birdstrom extended out a hand, "My names Hal, and my guess is that your Sam's older brother Dean. Sam warned me you had a bit of a mouth on you."
Dean was surprised at just how firm a grip he had on shaking his hand, "So I guess I should say my thanks for looking after the runt. Jim said he's doing a hell of a lot better under your care."
The shorter man just chuckled, "Not like I had much choice in the matter when Jay kidnapped me. I think it was under the direct threat of being skinned alive if I didn't help Sam." Hal cocked his head over his shoulder, "Right old friend."
Nervously Joshua just nodded and Dean turned to face him. The anger and recriminations of earlier had lifted and he threw a small nod of welcome over to him. "Hey Joshua, is it true that Half-pint here is being paid by the minute?"
A sunburst of a smile met the question guessing that he had been forgive in his absence and Joshua felt the weight of the world lifting off his shoulders, "Yeah, he's already booked his flights to the Bahamas."
"Damn right I have," murmured Hal as he pushed past Dean to get to his patient. "You pesky macho hunters owe me big time from all the stitching up and repairs I've had to deal with over the years. This time out I'm collecting my dues in spades."
o0o0o0o0o0o0o
It had been close to four days since he got back to his brother and sick or not he was starting to wear his patience down to almost nothing.
Pastor Murphy had left two days earlier taking Caleb back with him and without their calming influence it was just left to his dad, Josh and himself to keep Sam on track to getting fully back to health.
The trouble was that Sam had his own ideas on just how that was going to be achieved. Not content to stay in bed anymore they had to finally relent after too many successful escape attempts to let him rest up on the sofa during the day, watching dodgy cartoons and catching up on a stack of reading.
Now the only major cause of friction was forcing his skinny brother to eat anything. Dean had taken on board that the painkillers and antibiotics still coursing through his system were a dampener to his appetite but he was desperate to get some weight back on his brother.
As he saw his brother mouth set in a stubborn line of refusal he was not willing to give up when for the third time in as many minutes Sam refused to eat anything more.
"Sam come on, just another spoonful."
"I don't want any more damn chicken soup," puffed back Sam, pushing the bowl away as Dean tried to force-feed some more into his mouth.
Mentally Dean heard his patience snap as he find himself shouting out loud, "Listen you little brat, Birdy said you have to eat and that's exactly what you're going to do. Your just a bag of bones as it is."
"Birdy can go screw himself," pouted Sam, "He's just a sarky little runt who loves jabbing needles into me."
"Nice one Sammy. The guy gives up his spare time to nurse you back to health, risks losing his licence, his livelihood, and that's how you wanna thank him."
Dean smirked as he saw the flush of shame rise up Sam's neck and cheeks. "Look just finish this one bowl and I'll not bother you till supper time. Deal?"
Sam squinted his eyes in distrust but knew when to back down with his brother when given that steely look. Huffing out his annoyance he snatched the bowl out of his hands, "I can feed myself. Not a freaking baby you know."
Dean had to hide a smirk of approval as Sam lifted the bowl to his lips and chugged back the contents in one long draught. Plopping the spoon back on the empty bowl Sam glowered back at him, "Happy now?"
"I will be when you eat a donut."
"Ah come on Dean you promised!"
"Just one incy wincy little donut Sammy boy."
"Stop calling me that!"
Rolling his eyes in mock hurt Dean teased him further, "What? Sammy? But I've had your name freshly iced on the box of donuts I brought back from town this morning. You want me to pick the 'MY' off or something before you daintly shove the first one down your throat?"
Exasperation colouring his cheeks a darkening red Sam shook his head, "You really trying to turn me into some sort bulimic here, aren't you?"
"One little donut Sammy. Help put some flesh back on your non-existent butt."
"No!"
Dean pulled one from the box and waved it under his nose, the sweet smell making Sam's mouth water despite his insistence that he wasn't hungry. "They're crème filled Sammy. Just the way you like them."
Dean took a large bite, letting the creamy filling slide down his chin and he smirked knowingly when he heard his brother whisper, "That's just gross."
"Well if you just eat the one I promise to put the box in the kitchen and let dad tuck into them. Otherwise I'm sitting here and one by delicious one I'm going to eat them in front of you."
"Fine," huffed back Sam grabbing up the sweet treat and shoved half into his mouth in a large bite. He struggled just to chew threw the sticky mass and found a glass of cold milk shoved into his free hand.
"Drink that too and then we're really quits."
"Dean!" came out Sam's muffled groan of disbelief.
John's laughter could be heard clear from the kitchen as Dean got his way.
o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Less than hour later Dean was sitting in the kitchen supping coffee readying to start on his fourth donut as his brother slept soundly on the sofa.
"Birdy thinks he'll be well enough to go out by Sunday. Thought I might take him into town, get him decked out with a few things and then grab a pizza or something."
John nodded his agreement and Dean asked, "You wanna come along?"
Cautiously John looked at his oldest, "You think he will want me to tag along. He's still barely speaking to me and I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable and end up ruining things for you two."
"Don't worry about the not speaking. He clams up on me too every time I try to talk to him about what happened." He poked a whole into the centre of the donut and sucked out the crème filling before adding, "Just have to be patient and slowly wear down his resistance is all."
"Bit like you browbeat him into eating today…"
"Worked didn't it. We'll have our lovable cantankerous Sammy back in know time if we play our cards right here."
John reached over and squeezed his son arm in rarely expressed affection, "You're a good brother Dean. And a good son."
o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Three days later.
"Dean, no!" screamed Sam at the top of his lungs as he watched his brother sink bonelessly to the ground. The virgin snow under his head rapidly turning a sickening darkening red.
Sam found himself screaming out his name again dropping to his knees beside his brother's prone form begging for understanding, "I'm sorry Dean. I didn't know."
TBCAN. Well some of you might have been thinking that I was winding the story up to some nice sweet little ending as this chapter drew to a close but things are never that easy with Winchesters and there a few issues that still need to be addressed. Another chapter, max of 2, to go - I just hope you don't want to lynch me on leaving you on a bit of a cliffie.