Chapter Fourteen

You want to believe that the things you see on t.v won't happen to you. The documentaries about things as fatal diseases or the adventures of rebellious teens are out of reach, too far away to think about. Why should they happen to you? You're plain, boring, weird, nothing exciting like that will happen to you. You believe if you were in the same situation as the people on the t.v, you would be the bigger person, do the right thing, not be affected by the events being discussed.

But that's because you don't know what it feels like.

I am Peeta Mellark. Sixteen years old. And I am going to tell you the side of the story you never heard in the documentaries. The thing that is considered taboo to talk about. I am going to tell you what it's like to fall in love with someone you shouldn't.

This is not a story as elegant as Romeo and Juliet nor is it as gritty. It's love at it's barest. And I can't guarantee you'll like what you'll hear. But that's not really my problem.

It began, like any other day would, at College.

Cato is a nice man. I love him with all my heart. He didn't abuse me or hurt me or mistreat me. I know that no matter what I say you're going to misuse my words so I don't even know why you want me to write this report. You're going to say that I'm deranged, that Cato has abused me to the point that I don't know what I'm talking about.

But trust me, I'm telling the truth.

I am Peeta Mellark and he is Cato Hadley. And no matter what you do to him or to the both of us, I WILL WAIT FOR HIM.

Tell that to your fucking superiors.

"You know you could have been professional about it."

Peeta scoffed and shook his head. "The man that I love is in a cell right now, awaiting a sentence he shouldn't have to serve, why the fuck should I be professional?"

The police officer sighed. "Peeta, Mr Hadley is a mixed up man who is better off in prison," she said. Peeta folded his arms and clenched his fists. You can't hit an officer Peeta, you'll get done in for assault. "He abused you, Peeta, can't you see that?"

Peeta squeezed his eyes shut and let out a long, hard breath. "He did not abuse me," he said, his voice shaky. "How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"You're a child, Peeta. It's very easy to get confused in situations like this," the officer said, trying to keep her voice level. "I understand that Mr Hadley has probably convinced you of many things but you have to understand that what he was doing was wrong."

"Our love was wrong?" Peeta asked. How dare she sit here and act like she understood.

"It wasn't love, Peeta," the woman said.

"Then why does it feel like half of my heart is missing?" He couldn't look at her anymore, his eyes focusing on the floor. He wanted to see Cato, more than anything. There was an ache in his being that could only be cured by seeing his boyfriend's smile again. "Why do I feel like my life crumbling down around me?"

"Because he let you get emotionally attached," the officer insisted.

Peeta threw his face into his hands and groaned. "You don't understand!" he exclaimed. "If Cato was really only after me for my body why did he wait? Why was he careful and understanding? Why did he look after me when I took my meltdowns? If he only wanted to have sex with me, WHY AM I STILL A VIRGIN?!"

Peeta pushed away from the table and stormed out. The woman called after him but he ignored her. Madge, who had been waiting outside, jumped to her feet. "Peeta?" she asked, her voice tiny. He couldn't speak to her, the lump in his throat was swallowing any words he wanted to say. He just stormed out of the police station. "Peeta!"

Madge caught up with him and grabbed his arm. "Peeta," she panted, "What's wrong?"

Peeta took one look at his concerned friend and it all fell ontop of him. Cato was in prison, because of him. He was never going to see him again. Even when he got out after whatever sentence he was going to be given, no one was going to let them near each other.

So right there, in front of Madge, he burst into tears.

"Oh Peeta," she whispered. She stepped forward and enclosed him in her arms. "Sssh, it's alright."

"That don't understand," Peeta cried into her shoulder. "They don't get it!"

"I know, I know." Madge rubbed his back and told him repeatedly that it was going to be okay. Peeta could tell from her voice that she didn't believe it. He knew Madge wasn't too fond of the situation but she didn't try to tell Peeta that he wasn't in love with Cato. Because she wasn't an expert, but she knew what love looked like.

"It hurts so much." Peeta's legs crumpled out from under him and he fell to his knees. Madge fell with him but didn't complain."I can't do this without him, Madge. He was my rock, he kept me sane. I can't-I can't take any of this without him. I need him so, so, so much. And no one fucking gets it!"

Madge had stopped talking and just held him, brushing her fingers through his hair and trying to soothe him. Maybe she knew how hopeless this all was as well. No one was going to listen to him. They all thought Cato was a pedaphile. And everyone saw Peeta as the kid victim. They had expected him to be sobbing and crying, all thankful and glad, when the police came to tell him that Cato had been arrested.

They hadn't expected him to put up a fight.

"Mr Hadley's a fighter . . ." Madge trailed off, unsure of what else to say. She didn't know Cato so even she had her suspicions that he was a pervert. Peeta wanted to be angry at her for this but he knew that there was not going to be anyone who didn't think this. "Are you going to his hearing? Do they want you to make a statement as a witness?"

Peeta laughed. It was hollow and didn't hold any humour what-so-ever. "Of course they do."

"Are you going to do it?"

Peeta sat back and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He fixed Madge with a deadly stare that made her wish the ground would swallow her up. "Of course I am," he said. "And I'm going to tell the truth."

~xXx~

"I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God." Peeta wasn't the most religious of people but he also wasn't the sort of person to back out of swears. He thought the whole practice of swearing on the bible silly, since a lot of people wouldn't give a damn about the bible or religion.

The inquistor, Mr Heavensbee, immediately started asking questions. "Mr Mellark, when did your relationship with Mr Hadley begin?"

The stool he was sitting on was so high, Peeta's feet dangled a little. He swung his legs to keep his mind occupied as he tried not to panic. There were people waiting, part of the jury, ready to analyze and judge everything he said. Peeta glanced at Cato for assurance. The sight of his boyfriend in one of those convict orange jumpsuits almost made his resolve crumble but when he met Cato's eyes, he smiling at him. He mouthed, 'It's okay.' Peeta nodded nervously.

"A few months ago," he answered.

"How did it start?" Mr Heavensbeee inquired.

"Um . . ." Peeta swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to steady his trembling hands. "I-I had a . . . crush on him and k-kept leaving my cardigan behind in class so he'd n-n-notice m-me."

"And did he?"

Peeta nodded. "He did," he croaked.

"Who initiated the relationship first?" asked Mr Heavensbee.

"He did." Why were they asking these questions in particular? The answers were going to make Cato look bad.

"How did he initiate it?"

Peeta's heart was beating so fast it was making his voice high pitched and stuttery. Sweat was gathering on his brow and he felt his hairline dampening. Damn, he wished he'd brought his pills up with him. "He-He-He k-kissed me."

"Was it against your will?"

Oh, finally! "No, it was not," Peeta said, surprised when he didn't stutter. "In fact, I kissed him back. I wanted it. It was in no way against my will. None of it was."

Mr Heavesbee showed no emotion on his face. This was unnerving, since Peeta didn't know whether he was taking his words seriously or not. "And was the relationship sexual, in any regards?"

Peeta felt himself shrink in his seat. How was he supposed to answer that? If he answered honestly and said yes, the jury would believe that Cato had raped or molested him or something. He looked at Cato desperately. The older man's eyes were soothing and Peeta took a deep breath to calm himself down. Just answer honestly, there's nothing else for it.

"D-Define sexual."

"Did Mr Hadley ever touch you inappropriately?"

Peeta wanted the floor to open up and swallow him right there. "Inappropriate means not proper or suitable . . . So I'm guessing you mean in the sense of against my will touching and if you are then in that regard none of it was inappropriate."

"Has Mr Hadley ever implied an emotional connection between you and him?"

Peeta nodded. "Yes," he answered. "And I know he was telling the truth, despite what you're going to think." He looked at Cato again, he nodded as if telling him he was doing just fine.

Mr Heavensbee looked at him seriously. "Have you and Mr Hadley ever engaged in sexual intercourse?" he asked.

Peeta actually scowled. He hadn't meant to but it just happened. "No, we have not," he said, trying to keep his voice measured.

"Have you engaged in sexual intercourse with anyone?" This question seemed unnessecary but Peeta knew why they were asking it. He was sixteen, he wasn't the legal age of consent. If he had sex with anyone, it could be helpful towards the investigation. How, he didn't know.

"No, sir, I'm a virgin."

Mr Heavensbee looked at the judge. "No further questions."

Peeta was thankful to clambour out of the witness stand. He tried to look small as he felt every eye in the room follow him to his seat. He wanted to sit near Cato but he knew it was impossible. Instead he slipped into the seat beside Madge. She reached out and patted his hand. "You did great," she whispered.

"Thanks."

Cato was called up next. He didn't seem worried at all. Peeta felt his heart skip a beat and he clutched Madge's hand tight in his own. She let him, winding an arm around his shoulders and pulling him closer.

Mr Heavensbee seemed to hold an air of distaste when he laid eyes on Cato. "Mr Hadley, do you swear the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?"

Cato nodded. "I do."

"Mr Hadley, had you been aware of Mr Mellark's crush on you when you started leaving you cardigans behind?" Mr Heavensbee started off by asking.

"Of course I was," Cato answered. "I'm not an idiot, I know Peeta wasn't that forgetful."

"Why did you let it continue?"

"Because it was adorable." Cato had no shame at admitting this. He must have been extremely serious about telling the truth. Peeta couldn't believe that he actually just announced that he was adorable in front of a jury about to decide his fate.

"So, Mr Hadley, have you always prefered the company of those younger than you?" asked Mr Heavensbee.

"Not particulary, no," answered Cato. He sounded so calm, not at all nervous about his fate. Peeta admired him for that.

"Why didn't you snuff out the crush as soon as you were aware of it's existance?"

Cato didn't look at Mr Heavensbee when he answered this. He looked at Peeta. "Because I have never met a boy as beautiful as him before in my entire life," he said. Peeta's eyebrows scrunched up as he fought back tears. He couldn't take this at all. "And I will not deny myself the right to admit that just because I'm looking at ten years in prison."

"Why did you convince Mr Mellark that you are in love with each other?" Mr Heavensbee inquired.

Cato quirked an eyebrow. "I didn't convince Peeta of anything," he said. "He came to the conclusion of his own feelings by himself and I came to my own by myself as well." Peeta curled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He wanted to leap at Cato and hug him and never let go. He was forcibly holding himself back.

When there were no more questions and the jury adjurned to congregate and decide Cato's fate, Peeta sat nervously outside with Peeta. Madge was quiet for only a moment. "He loves you, doesn't he?" she said quietly.

"He does," Peeta whispered. He was so anxious he felt physically sick.

Madge took his pill box out from where she had been holding it in her bag and handed him one. "You need to soothe yourself. Everything's going to be okay."

Peeta couldn't believe her anymore. Because he didn't know if it was.

Back in the court-room, Peeta's heart was in his throat as one of the members of the jury stood up and handed the judge their decision. Madge held his hand as the judge unfolded the piece of paper and breathed in before speaking. The moment dragged on forever and Peeta felt like he was going to pass out.

"Cato Hadley, you are found guilty on the charges of inappropriate behaviour with a minor and are hereby sentenced to twenty years in prison with a minimum of ten years before chance of parole."

The world seemed to slow down and Peeta felt like he was going to vomit. Madge covered her mouth with her hands in horror. Peeta so stunned he couldn't react, instead he sat on his seat and stared at the judge dumbly. The only thing that jerked him out of his state of paralysis was the sight of Cato being taken away.

Somehow, he found himself standing up. Madge tried to grab him but she wasn't quick enough. "Cato!" he yelled. Cato turned around when he heard his name, despite the fact two guards had a hold of his arms. Peeta climbed onto the top of the bench in front of him and leaped onto the next, then the next one after that and the one after that.

When he reached the last one, Peeta jumped from there onto the lawyer's desk before taking one final leap and throwing himself at Cato, who caught him easily and held him tight. "I love you, I love you, I love you," Peeta babbled in a rush. "I'll wait for you, I promise. I will wait every second until I can be with you!"

Cato buried his face into Peeta's neck and held onto him as tight as he could. "Oh my god, I love you too," he murmured. "I love you, I love you, I love you so, so, so much."

One of the guards grabbed the back of Peeta's shirt and tried to pull him back. Peeta screamed and lashed out, trying to hold onto Cato for as long as possible. "No, let go of me!" he yelled, but they didn't listen him.

"Peeta," Cato said, framing his face in his hands, "Peeta it's fine, just let go. It's alright."

"NO!" Peeta tried to cling to him but they were pulling on him harder. "I love you, Cato!"

"I know, I love you too," Cato answered. "I will always love you, remember that."

Peeta's fingers slipped from him clothes and the guards lifted him off his feet and started taking him away. "CATO, I'LL WAIT FOR YOU!" he screamed, still struggling to be freed. "I promise I will wait!"

"I love you, Peeta!" Cato yelled before he was pushed out of the room.

"I love you too!"

When the guard forced him into a seat outside and left him there, Madge sat down beside him. Her face was grave and she didn't even bother to speak. Peeta stared at the floor tiles and immediately broke down. He dissolved into tears and slipped off the bench and curled up into a ball on the floor.

Twenty years was a long time.

But he was going to wait for him.

Always.

A/N: I'm just going to curl up in the corner and hate myself for what I've done . . .

Please R&R! :D