A/N Ok, I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE OVER 100 REVIEWS! Thank you so much to everyone who likes my fanfic! And especially to those who REVIEW! I hope this chapter is ok, because I am seriously freaking out about it... Sorry if my notes at the beginning of the chapter are always annoying!

Katniss

I am so numb. Everything is crashing down on me, while I struggle to hold on. I try to face reality, and I realize now that I don't know half the story. I thought my only problem was Gale taking me away from Peeta. But now, there is Damien Snow. I think this Damien Snow was President Snow's son. It scares me to think of what cruel ideas he has inherited from President Snow. I will pay for the fall of the Capitol, is what the note said. Again, the stench of roses overwhelms me, and I have enough of it. I grab the note and stuff it in my pocket, and I snatch the red rose from the counter and race out the front door. I rip the rose to shreds, as the strong wind carries the pieces of roses away. I take out the note too, and I decide not to leave it in the same fate of the rose. I hesitantly hide it in one of the trees near the house. I place it in between the bark, wondering if I will receive more notes.

I glide through the ajar front door, and ease myself into the kitchen. I sit myself down, and hold my head in my hands. I try to think of what to do in my situation, and I have no idea. My mind keeps meandering back to Peeta, and I try to pivot my attention back to its course before. I decide to state the facts first. I am stranded here with Gale, because Gale took me away from Peeta after he proposed me. I have to pretend to be in love with Gale, in order for Gale to trust me. If Gale trusted me, he would have answered any of my questions, and I could get back to Peeta. But now there is a new element to the equation. Damien Snow who wants my blood for the fall of the Capitol is out there. The worst thing is, he could hurt Peeta. And Peeta has been hurt enough.

I resolved to go to the bathroom and clean myself up. I walk into the wide bathroom with blue fresh paint, and an urn full of fresh flowers. I glance at myself in the mirror and sigh. My hair is matted again, and my skin is flaking. My eyes are red and my face looks rabid. I strip off my clothes, and ease myself into the shower. I let the warm sprinkle spray my face and body, as I scrub my face clean. I rub the top of my head, where the dried blood is. Why would someone want to knock someone out, and just leave the person there? Why did they do that to me? And who did that to me? For some odd reason, I have a feeling this all has to do with Damien Snow.

I rinse my hair, and search for a towel outside with just my hands. My hands meet a cool surface, then my hands suddenly meet someone else's surprisingly cold hands. The hands grasp mine, and I hear a muffled voice outside of the shower curtain, "Um, Katniss do you want anything?" I realize the voice belongs to Gale. Oh no.

"Gale! Oh yes, I'm okay...Can you please go?" I say infuriated. Why is he here, of all places? I become more and more aware of my naked body just barely separated with a flimsy shower curtain from Gale. This is becoming very awkward.

"Fine," I hear Gale say reluctantly. The door closes slowly, and I go back to showering. What is he thinking? I clean my raw body, and force myself away from the warm sprinkle. I wrap a fresh white towel around my body tightly, afraid it would come loose. I let my hair down, and I walk out the bathroom. Gale is right outside the door, and I stumble into him surprised. He catches me before I fall onto the ground, but I push his hands away, refusing to have any help. I do things alone.

He staggers back, and I walk past him into the bedroom. I linger at the window, but I turn away and go towards the walk-in-closet. I pull at some clothes, until I find a gray shirt with matching black jeans. I grab the clothes, and head into the second bathroom, locking it behind me. I don't want Gale to come in here while I am changing.

I take the towel off, and pull on the clean clothes. It's close enough to my size, and I see some warm wool socks too. I pull those on, then I walk out the door quietly. My thoughts keep turning back towards the idea that Damien Snow can hurt Peeta, because of my actions. I need to focus my mind, and plan my escape to Peeta. But what will happen if I find my way towards Peeta again, and Damien Snow will ruin everything once I am there? What if he's waiting at District 12, stalking Peeta and binding his time until I escape from Gale? I assume he knows that I am trying to break free of Gale. I try to remember back when I was in my beautiful heaven with Peeta right next to me. Instead, I remember the time Prim had died, and I was wandering around President Snow's mansion lost and confused, labeled mentally disoriented. The memories evoke a twisted sadness that I can't overcome.

I slowly arouse myself from my thoughts, and clumsily walk down the hallway towards the kitchen. I inspect the kitchen more closely, looking at its mahogany colored countertop, and the sleek black chairs. I rub my hand absentmindedly over one of the chairs, wondering if the weather is any better. I feel a cold hand on my shoulder, and I jump startled. I hate surprises.

"It's just me, Catnip. Relax," Gale says calmly, while I stare at him shocked for him using my pet name.

"You should know that I hate surprises. And I never relax," I say truthfully. After going through a war, its expected to come back scarred. Especially if you were the Mockingjay. I shake his hand of my shoulder irritably, my true harsh manner rising. I realize that I haven't eaten for a while, and I should get some food in my stomach. I wonder what happened to the squirrels I had shot.

As if Gale had read my mind, he leaves suddenly, and comes back with two already skinned squirrels. I smile unexpectedly, and I am shocked by my reaction. It felt like how it used to be between Gale and I. We were against starvation, and surviving as a team together saving our families. The sorrow comes back though, leaving my mind back into depression. I take the squirrels from Gale's hands carefully, and look at him gratefully. Maybe he has changed. But then I remember him taking me away from Peeta. The smile on my face fades away.

I rush outside, pausing a minute next to the window, wondering if Gale is coming with me. He glides next to me soundlessly, as if he is a ghost you can't here. The cold wind rushes into me, blowing my hair all around and cooling my face. The sun shines on the grass and trees, and for a second I don't breathe because it's so beautiful. The scenery reminds me of District 12, and the gaping hole in my chest is reawakened to long for Peeta. I look down gloomily, a single tear falling down my cheek. I curse myself silently for crying. I see Gale reach his hand towards me in the corner of my eye. Gale runs his hand gingerly against my cold face and wipes the trailing tear away. He lifts up my head, and slowly reaches down toward my lips. I know what he is going to do, but I don't stop it. Isn't this what I supposed to do? Aren't I supposed to pretend I love Gale, so I can get back to Peeta?

Then why do I feel so terrible? I rack my head for reasons why my heart is tearing apart, while Gale pushes his lips against mine. I feel like I am betraying Peeta's love, by kissing Gale. But I know there is another reason why. I know Gale loves me so much, that he can't choose the right decision. I am leading him on, making him think I love him. He is not the monster.

I am the monster.