Disclaimer: Not mine.
A DRUG TO KILL-
Tears silently gushed over the long lashes and dripped harmlessly onto his hand. At the small drops of salty water Roy grimaced.
Edward was crying in his sleep again, and as much as he hated to admit it, there was not a thing he could do to comfort the boy.
Still, that did not stop him from holding the blonde head to him in a weak attempt.
"Why don't you ever come to me for help?"
Boots silently crashed down onto the tiled floor, taking in the scene before him he sighed.
The one with dark hair was sleeping (troubled no doubt) in a chair near the bed.
He stalked over, bending his large frame to maneuver past the stacks of paperwork littering the floor. The insignia appeared to be the work of the military. He knew he had best hurry before the blatantly obvious military man awoke.
Slowly, he leaned over the hospital bed and placed his broad hand onto the patient's forehead. All the while he mumbled indiscernible nonsense.
As the countenance on the boy calmed drastically he left through the entrance he came through.
His golden eyes glanced back to his own and another's blood and he smiled ever so slightly.
Blearily, his eyes opened to bright lights overhead and gold blocking and remaining sight he had.
Roy shifted his position to look into the peaceful face of Full Metal, awake and unharmed for all to see.
"Mmm… Stay like this," the blonde mumbled in protest to being moved back into his (uncomfortable) bed. That earned him a grin.
Mustang tried not to comment on how the hair was frizzed out and sticking at odd ends cutely. It made Ed look like a fluff ball.
"We need to talk Colonel."
He sighed; it was never a good sign when Full Metal called him by his actual title, without a bastard-like insult attached.
"Fine Edward. But you're going to have to let me fix that hair of yours, you're giving the military a bad name. You never got a regulation haircut; the least you could do is take care of it." Roy smirked heavily at the scowl he was given.
"Well excuse me for just waking up you bastard," He mumbled as Mustang began twisting the strands into a rope braid.
His gaze averted, only to flicker back indecisively. Hesitation poured out of those pale eyes, as though he was afraid to ask what thoughts were running through his mind. Roy considered stopping his actions to hold the younger one's hand; however he paused, and waited.
"Why didn't you come to me for help?"
Startled, Mustang blinked repeatedly. That was what he had already asked Ed, so why would the boy throw the same question back at him?
Edward cringed from the tension running up and down his neck and repeated himself. "Why? You could have told me you had nightmares like that. I would have helped you."
He paled substantially, coughing in a discreet manner while finishing tying the woven locks together with the band on his wrist. Ishbaal wasn't something he discussed with anyone, not even Full Metal. Although Ed was his lover, Roy toyed with the idea of confessing his sins relentlessly, and could never come to a sound decision. What if Edward was to leave him once he knew what a monster he was involved with? The Colonel was not sure that he could handle the event of that happening.
Whenever he dreamt memories of that horrible time, he luckily woke himself up and calmed down, without awakening the one sharing his bed. So why on that one time did his blonde have to see him broken?
"I doubt you would have understood enough to actually aid me, Full Metal." Mustang knew better. Sure the boy's words sounded loving, as though he actually cared, but he knew better than that. The Full Metal Alchemist was not well known for spreading affection and empathetic speeches to troubled persons in need of help. He scoffed at those who could not get up on their own to walk forward. Possibly it was because he himself was so strong in that area, always rebounding back from death, murder, and mutilation and so on.
Edward sputtered momentarily, wondering if he should take that as a playful barb of his naïve youth, or if it was meant to be a serious statement. But Roy wasn't smirking like usual. This meant he was dead serious.
"Che, bastard. What makes you think I wouldn't understand? I'm not a little child; you should know that by now."
Sure, Mustang knew Ed had sins of his own. But, at least he could plead innocence because of his young age. Regardless of what Edward had done, he wouldn't- couldn't understand. "You don't know half of the transgressions I have made."
"I know all of the so-called transgressions you have done."
Roy nearly choked on his tongue. "H-How?" He found that he was trembling horribly, no matter how hard he tried to stop.
The boy shrugged nonchalantly, "I had Hughes fill me in a while ago when I heard you screaming in your sleep. I know you were a murderer in Ishbaal; I also know that you executed Winry's parents, and that you used a Red Stone to do most of it."
His heart pounded severely in his ears and he was certain he was panicking. This was it; Ed was going to leave him for good. Even though he deserved it, Roy couldn't help but wish circumstances were different. He braced for the yelling and accusations.
"But," Edward continued in that same light tone, "I realize that's what you used to be. You are no longer that person. They say no matter how harshly and frequently you beat a dog; it will still come back to you, because it is loyal. Don't forget bastard, I'm in the military too. I know that you have to bark and attack on cue, whether you want to or not. I admire you for wanting to change that."
It felt as though someone had lifted his consciousness and dunked him in ice water. How could Ed forgive him if he could not forgive himself?
'I get it now. That was the whole point to this, wasn't it old man? You were trying to get me to apprehend our fragility. He could disappear at a moments notice, just like Mom and Al, and I can't always trade myself to get those people back. For what I've lost already, you were trying to make sure I did not lose him too.' A small wry grin crept onto his face, but then was replaced with a frown.
When Roy made a move to embrace him, Edward pulled away violently, jerking them both out of the relieved atmosphere.
A sign of hurt flashed briefly on Mustang's face. Yet, as he stared at the blonde and the expression on him, his eyes softened in understanding.
"That's really the answer isn't it?" Full Metal raised his eyes to meet his Commander's. "That's why you don't get close to people and why you shove them away with attitude. Even though they're only trying to help you. It's because you are too afraid of losing them once they are involved with you."
Despite the younger one's protests, Roy wrapped his strong arms over the small shoulders and pulled him close. He felt the ambiance surrounding them change as Ed leaned into him, resting his cheek on his lover's shoulder.
After inhaling the strong spicy scent of the blonde hair near his neck, Roy decided he was ready.
"Ishbaal," He quietly whispered, a sound so faint, Edward had to strain his ears to hear it. Futilely, he tried to lift his head up to question the randomness of that single word, but was held down firmly against the warm chest.
"It would kill me if I had to go back to Ishbaal. I would never be able to stand it."
Unknowingly, Ed smiled slightly. He had nearly forgotten that little argument they had before. Conversely, the Colonel's next words startled him more than he would have liked to admit.
"But I think I would die quicker if I were to lose you."
Without any of his previous hesitation, Edward leaned up and kissed his Commander. It was soft and tender, far more passionate and affectionate than any other act they had performed.
Ed ginned lightly against the other's lips, "My Mother always told me to protect what you love so that you don't lose it."
And he vowed to do so.
AN: I would have to say that this is my favorite chapter. But it is not the end! There's still one more to go folks! (Please comment to make me happy)