The next morning, Olivia awoke to find Alex yelling into her cell phone. "No, it is absolutely not okay! If you cannot guarantee that, I'll begin searching for alternate employment . . . no, Arthur, I don't, but you haven't left me much choice here . . . I know that's what Jim wants and I don't give a . . . Arthur, you have three days to get back to me. You know my number."

Alex sighed and she closed her phone, but smiled when she felt Olivia's arms wrap around her from behind.

"I'm sorry, Liv. Did I wake you?"

"It's fine," Olivia said. "What was that all about?"

Alex sighed again. "Arthur. Dammit, don't I have enough on my plate right now?"

Olivia kissed the base of her neck and rested her head on Alex's shoulder. "I'm sure he'll come to his senses and realize you're the best lawyer he's got and he'd be a fool to let you go."

"I hope so."

"I'm positive he will." Olivia started to massage Alex's shoulders. "Try not to worry about it, all right?"

Alex nodded ruefully. "I'll try." She hesitated. "I'm sorry I woke you. I was going to make breakfast –"

"It's okay, baby. We can make it together. Do you want eggs?"

"Whatever you like. I'm not really hungry."

"Okay. Why don't I just have a banana and we'll make brunch when you're ready?"

"Liv, don't you dare touch my bananas!"

Olivia chuckled. "Oh, relax. Your nanny never taught you to share when you were little, and now I'm paying the price!"

"The bananas are mine."

"I bought them!"

"We bought them together."

"But I paid for that particular item."

"Oh, please." She kissed Alex's cheek. "Fine, I won't touch you precious bananas. I'll have an apple instead. Or are those yours, too?"

"No, you can have a couple of those. Just a couple, though. I was going to use them in a salad tomorrow."

"Who made you guardian of all the food in this house?"

"We were going to do it democratically, but the vote was deadlocked, so I appointed myself."

Olivia laughed. "Of course you did."

Alex smirked. "No food for you, then."

Olivia smiled and sat down, pulling Alex onto her lap and lifting her shirt. She tickled Alex's ribs until her girlfriend was giggling and squirming. "Do you surrender?"

"Yes, yes! You can eat!" Alex said, pushing Olivia's hands away through her laughter. "You can be the food guardian!"

Olivia chuckled. "I knew you'd come around eventually."

A few hours later, they were curled up on the sofa and watching a movie when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it," Alex said, pushing Olivia's feet off her lap. She went to the door and was surprised to find a court officer.

"This is for Olivia Benson," he said.

"Thank you," Alex said. She was about to ask something else, but he was gone before she could.

She wandered back into the living room. Olivia patted her lap and Alex sat down, handing Olivia the piece of paper.

"For you."

Olivia opened it and gasped as her brain registered the words. "Alex, Robert filed a civil suit for assault! I'm wanted in court next week to deal with this."

Alex closed her eyes. She knew it wasn't going to be that easy. "Don't worry about it," she said, echoing Olivia's previous words. "I'll take care of it."

"Alex –"

"I'll take care of it." This was her fault, and she would fix it. She had to.

Alex arrived at Robert's apartment several hours later. She'd told Olivia she wanted to talk a walk, just to clear her head, but she'd gone to see Robert instead. She felt bad about lying to Olivia, but she knew Olivia would tell her to stay away from Robert. She couldn't. She needed to fix this.

She was trembling as she heard Robert's footsteps approaching, but she tried to remain composed. She had a job to do, and that was all. But Robert wasn't going to back down, and she was afraid.

The door opened and Robert's face broke into a smirk when he saw her. "Ah, Alexandra. Have you seen the error of your ways?"

Alex swallowed hard. "May I come in?"

"Of course, darling. This is your home, too."

No, it isn't, Alex didn't say. She didn't want to antagonize Robert before she accomplished what she came here to do.

He led her to the living room and brought her a glass of wine. "So what did you come here to discuss, Alexandra? I get the distinct impression that this isn't just a social call."

Alex bit her lip. "Robert, you've got to drop the suit against Olivia. Your problem isn't with her; it's with me. You know that."

"I can't do that, Alexandra. She assaulted me. And she stole you from me."

"Robert, I need you to leave her alone."

Robert fixed his gaze on her. "That's what you need?"

"Yes."

"What else do you need?"

"For you to stop harassing us."

"Oh, Alexandra. I'm not harassing you. I love you. And I know what else you need, what you're too shy to tell me . . . you were always shy about these things."

Alex tried to keep her hands from shaking. "Robert, I love Olivia. It's over between us."

He continued as if he hadn't heard her. "What would you do to have me stay away from Detective Benson?"

Alex's heart began to pound. "Robert –"

"Would you let me show you what I know you need? What I know you want? What I know you're asking for? Oh, darling, I see it in your eyes. I know you, Alexandra."

Alex forced herself to keep her voice steady. "And you would drop the suit against Olivia and leave her alone, if I let you show me?"

"It's not as simple as that, unfortunately. She still thinks you belong to her. I have to show her otherwise."

"And what if I show you otherwise? Show you I'm still yours?"

"And how do you propose to do that?"

Alex looked away. "You know what I'm talking about, Robert."

He nodded slowly. "Wednesdays. 5:00. Before your detective gets home from work. Starting right now."

Alex felt ill, but she knew she had to do this. For Olivia. "And you won't go near Olivia again?"

"Never. Why would I need to, if I had you?"

Alex felt the world start to spin, but she nodded.

Robert's grin widened and he moved to sit beside Alex, running his fingers through her hair. She wanted to throw up, but forced down the bile in her throat at his touch.

"Do you love me?" he asked.

Alex forced herself to nod. Olivia, she told herself. This is for Olivia. I have to protect Olivia.

He smiled and leaned forward, pressing his lips to Alex's. She forced herself to respond. The skin above his lips was scratchy, unlike Olivia's soft lips.

She forced herself to stay still and keep her body limp as Robert undressed her and began to knead her breasts with his rough hands. "Mm, I missed this, Alexandra," he said, and Alex forced herself not to flinch away.

Robert pinched her nipples and leaned down to nibble on her neck. Alex clenched her fists in an attempt to fight her instincts. She wanted so badly to push him away, and couldn't quite rid her mind of the thought that she was cheating on Olivia by doing this.

No. This was for Olivia. Alex had to keep her safe. Robert would hurt Olivia, just as he had hurt her. Just as he was hurting her now.

Robert unbuckled his pants to reveal his erection. "I'm sure you've missed having me in your mouth," he said with a smirk. "I think I'll let you have a taste."

Alex forced herself to take him into her mouth, again fighting her instinct to gag at the intrusion. Tears rushed to her eyes as she fully recognized the gravity of what she was doing.

He moaned as she pleasured him, and he pulled back after a moment. "Spread your legs for me, darling," he said, and she obeyed, closing her eyes so he wouldn't see that she was crying.

She felt him enter her with two fingers at first, and then three. It hurt, so unlike what she was used to. Olivia was always gentle with her when they did this, making sure to touch all the right spots and give Alex as much pleasure as she possibly could, being careful not to use too many fingers or thrust too harshly.

He removed his fingers after several moments of painful thrusting, and then she felt him inside her. His thrusts hurt once again, but Alex knew it was almost over.

When he felt him release inside her, she started to cry even harder, silent tears making their way down her cheeks even as she tried to blink them back. She hated Robert, but even more, she hated herself. She'd never felt so dirty in her life.

Robert pulled away from her and she could hear him pulling his pants back up and re-buckling his belt. He leaned down to kiss Alex again. "See, I knew you'd missed having something big in your pussy," he said with a self-satisfied smile. "You can go back to your dyke detective now. I'll see you on Wednesday. Be here, or I promise you I will make her life hell."

Alex nodded mutely. It was all she could do.

She dressed herself as if in a daze and stumbled out the door. She knew her hair was disheveled and she smelled like sex, and she knew she couldn't go home to Olivia now. Not yet. She had to get him off her first.

She raised her hand to hail a cab, and she gave the cab driver the address to a grungy motel she never would have been caught dead in before today. She only knew of the motel because it was integral to a recent drug case she'd taken on.

Her life was such a mess, and she didn't know how to fix it.

As soon as she got to her room, she got in the shower and scrubbed her body as hard as she could. But no matter what she did, she could still feel Robert on her. The dirtiness still enveloped her, threatening to overwhelm her. It was inside her, and she didn't know if she'd ever be able to get it out.

She'd needed to protect Olivia, and she would do it, whatever the cost. As she knew Olivia would do for her.

She got home an hour later to find Olivia pacing the front hallway. "Alex, where the hell were you? I was worried – you said you were just going for a walk! I tried to call you, but you didn't answer your phone – oh, baby, I was so worried!" She tried to hug Alex, but the attorney pushed her away. She was too dirty to be in Olivia's arms now.

"I dealt with it," was all she said, before she retreated to the bathroom and vomited the contents of her stomach.

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