A Waiting Game

"I'm going to lose her," Edward lamented, covering his face with his hands.

"No you won't," Alice reassured him, squeezing his shoulder.

His head lifted, his hope-filled eyes begging for information. "Did you have a vision?"

She winced and shook her head reluctantly. "No, sorry, she hasn't made a decision yet."

His face fell, and he whimpered, covering it with his hands again.

"Oh, get over yourself, Edward," I remarked dryly. "You wanted her to have a choice, right?"

He glared at me. "Shut up, Specter. She isn't going to want anything to do with me, and it's all your fault!"

I raised both eyebrows at his outburst. "Weren't you all depressed at the thought of her becoming a vampire? Didn't you want her to have a normal human life, growing old with her human husband, surrounded by her human children and grandchildren?"

He whimpered again, finally admitting. "Yes! No! Sort of . . . Not really. I mean, I want that for her, but at the same time, I want her with me forever. I hate that I can't give her that, but I need her. I still want her to choose me, even though she'll have to sacrifice that kind of happiness."

"I'm proud of you for admitting that, Edward," I praised. "That's a major step in the right direction."

"Well, she'd be stupid to choose you now, after the way Carlisle presented our situation," Rose grumbled. "Whose bright idea was that? I know it was essentially all true, but it only addressed the negatives for the most part."

"I wasn't aware you were cognizant of the positives, Rose," I provoked. "It's good to hear you admit there are some."

She scowled at me. "Well, you were the one who was so quick to point them out to me, weren't you? Why would you do that to Bella? I know you were the one who convinced Carlisle to go that route with the explanation, so don't bother pretending otherwise!"

I raised an eyebrow, then smirked. "You and Edward were so sure she'd only want this life because of the glamor and a romanticized view of vampirism, that she'd underestimate and dismiss the struggles because of the allure of the supernatural. This way, she can evaluate all the downsides objectively without confusing the issues with the excitement of encountering real mythical creatures."

"You do know that confidentiality agreement she signed isn't worth the paper it was printed on, don't you?" Jasper challenged. "She's not eighteen, so anything she signs as a minor isn't legally binding, even if it could be enforced otherwise."

I laughed and nodded. "Yep, I know. However, Bella herself will feel obligated to be bound by it, because that's part of her personality."

"I hate you!" Edward suddenly growled. "I trusted you to help me, but now I'm going to be doomed to eternity alone, thanks to you and your meddlesome interference!"

I shook my head. "Oh, ye of little faith. I told you she felt the mating bond, just as you did. When she accepts you, medical issues and all, you'll see for yourself that it's already too late. She's been permanently altered, just as much as you have. Besides, now you'll all be able to be yourselves around her without having to hide your secrets, yet you haven't broken the Volturi's laws."

Carlisle smiled at me proudly. "Excellent point! It does protect us all, including Bella, that she doesn't know the whole truth. By removing the supernatural aspect in our explanation to her, the Volturi wouldn't be able to punish us or her for revealing ourselves to a human. After all, she still thinks of us as human."

Edward paused, shocked, as he considered this angle. "Huh, you're right!"

"Guess you knew what you were doing after all, eh, Speck?" Emmett asked cheerfully, attempting to give me a fist bump.

"Are you sure she'll still choose Edward?" Esme wondered worriedly, begging me for reassurance. I smiled and nodded.

"I'm confident she will."

"Well, if she does, it can only be because of the mating bond," Rose grumbled. "Anybody in their right mind would kick us to the curb in a heartbeat otherwise."

"There's no better proof that they're meant to be then, is there?" I pointed out to her.

She eyed me thoughtfully, before sighing, "I suppose you're right."

"Besides, Edward," I whispered in his ear. "Now you have a good reason to turn her down for open-mouthed kisses and other sexual activities that involve the exchange of bodily fluids until you two are married. Bella is a product of the current generation, with a mother who went through a slew of frogs looking for Mr. Right. Renee is very comfortable with the concept of sex outside of marriage and has encouraged Bella to 'enjoy her freedom while she can'.

Don't get me wrong, Bella is still a virgin, but her hormones will kick in and her love of you will prompt her to be ready to explore all the things her mother has been encouraging with you. Like so many children of this generation, Bella is the child of divorced parents. To her, marriage isn't permanent and doesn't carry the level of meaning and commitment it does for you. She has also listened to Renee's rants about it being a mistake to marry before the age of 30 all her life, so she'll be highly resistant to the idea of marriage at all. She would take your rejection of a sexual relationship with her as a sign that you don't truly want or desire her. Now, however, it will make sense to her that you wouldn't want to take the risk of 'infecting' her without a formal commitment from her.

Once she knows you're not human, she won't think the human standards apply to you and will argue that being soul mates trumps being husband and wife. As long as she considers you human, she will better be able to grasp your need to bind her to you legally before agreeing to activities that can alter her irrevocably. So I suggest you introduce the concept of not being sexual until after marriage very early on in your relationship, so she can start working her mind around the idea. You can start with pointing out the legal ramifications of marriage, how it can guarantee protection and health insurance for her that a girlfriend wouldn't have, because in her mind currently love and the institution of marriage are completely unrelated."

I saw the understanding in his eyes as he whispered, "Thank you. I'm sorry about earlier, Specter. I'm just so afraid she won't . . ."

I smiled and nodded, knowing his animosity was merely a product of his fears and forgiving him for his hastily spoken words.

xxxxxxx

Bella chose not to wait, driving over to the Cullen house early the next morning to inform them of her decision. Hearing the roaring approach of her ancient vehicle brought all the vampires racing into the living room, scrambling to assume natural looking positions. They waited nervously while Bella pulled in front of the house and sat in her car for a few minutes, gathering the courage to come inside.

Unable to stand the suspense, Esme moved to the front door and opened it, stepping out onto the front porch to smile and wave welcomingly at the girl she hoped would complete her family. Bella relaxed and heaved a sigh of relief in response.

Opening the truck door, she called out, "Good morning, Esme! I'm glad to see you're awake. I didn't want to interrupt your slumber."

"Oh, no need to worry about that, sweetie," Esme soothed. "We don't sleep."

Bella froze mid-step, the truck door swinging shut with a loud bang, echoing into the stillness. "You don't sleep? Like ever?"

Esme winced and shook her head, chagrined.

"Oh," Bella mumbled, eyes wide, as she continued forward. Esme relaxed as she realized Bella was still coming inside. Bella stumbled up the stairs and gave Esme a hug, causing all the vampires to heave a sigh of relief to see she wasn't keeping her distance, despite the things she'd learned.

Once inside, she greeted everyone shyly then joined Edward on the couch.

Seeing everyone staring at her expectantly, she cleared her throat and began, "When I was in elementary school, there was a girl in my classes who had cancer. She was bald and very frail from all the chemotherapy and other treatments she endured. The teachers were protective of her, but most of the children avoided her. She couldn't run fast or play hard like the other kids and was fairly uncoordinated. With my own nearly debilitating clumsiness making it difficult to keep up with the rest of the class, I was happy to keep her company.

Everyone knew the cancer wasn't contagious, but she was still treated like a leper anyway, by both kids and adults. I frequently overheard Renee and the parents of other kids in the school discussing the likelihood of Mia dying, worrying about the impact that would have on their own children and wanting to protect them from the pain it would cause them. It was a relevant fear, as she passed away in fifth grade, causing classmates to consider their own mortality for the first time. I had already lost all my grandparents and every pet I ever attempted to keep, so I was familiar with the concept of death and loss.

At her funeral, Mia's mom thanked me for being Mia's best friend. I felt bad, because while I'd considered her a friend, I hadn't thought of her as a best friend. We never really talked or did anything outside of school. However, Mia's mom told me how much it had brightened Mia's life after I moved there and started hanging out with her during recess, walking with her in line, sitting with her at lunch even when she was too sick to eat, and partnering up with her in class. Apparently, Mia would come home and regale her mom with stories every day of whatever games we played or the conversations we'd had. She told me I had given her daughter the strength to keep going, kept her from giving up, made her look forward to school each day, no matter how much pain she felt. She claimed I made life worth living for Mia. I told her it was my pleasure and that I'd learned a lot from her daughter about the courage of perseverance no matter what odds were stacked against you. Yet inside, I wondered how much better things could have been had I made an effort to be the best friend Mia claimed I was.

I could've easily given more of myself, had I not been so focused on myself and oblivious to the needs of others. I held myself back emotionally, not investing my energy and affection, protecting myself from the pain of losing her, knowing it was only a matter of time. I've lived with not only the regret of not trying to be there for her in a more real way, but with the resolve that next time I'd do better. I vowed not to let fear of what it might cost me stop me from being a true friend. I'm ready to put my money where my mouth is, to invest in my relationship with Edward and the rest of you, accepting the risks involved."

xxxxxxx

AN: Sorry, hit a bit of writer's block for this chapter, which is why it took so long.

I don't normally make recommendations, but I wanted to put the word out about a little known fic I enjoyed very much. Usually writing of that quality has a lot more follows and reviews than this story, so I decided to help the author along if I could, since it was her first story and is already complete.

The Witch's Stone-It's A Freaky New Moon » by Ambrogio'smoonlight

Hilarious hijinks abound when Bella & Aro switch bodies the day they meet in New Moon. She agrees to work with him to keep the switch secret from the rest of the Volturi. Feelings develop as the pair strive to maintain the charade & walk in each other's shoes. How does an ancient king adjust to life as a clumsy human girl & a shy teen suddenly start ruling over the vampire world?

Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 62,560 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 10-9-13 - Published: 8-16-13 - Aro · Bella - Complete