I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Yeah. Remind never to do that again. Anyways, thanks for the reviews peepoles and peepets! I'm one away from 60! Excited I is! Oh how very, very excited I is! Now I is gonna write.

I own nothing. The Almighty Larson owns it all.

"Collins? Collins?" Somebody's callin' me, but I can't make out who. "Collins?" Still nothin'. It's probably cause I'm half-lisentin' anyway. "COLLINS!" That's enough to snap me back to reality, where I'm walkin' down the street with Angel to my right and Mark to my left. Note to self: Avoid daydreamin' when walkin' in the middle of the goddamn street!

"Hmm?" I responded.

"Are you still living?" That's the voice I couldn't make out. I see now it's Mark's.

"What kind of question is that?"

"Well, you've been in a daze ever since we left Angel's apartment. And you still have that stupid grin on your face."

"Hey! My grin ain't stupid! It's your . . . your . . . your face that's stupid!"

"Nice comeback Collins." Mark rolls his eyes as I turn to Angel.

"Do you think my grin is stupid?" I asked her.

"Of course not honey. I think it's really cute," Angel said, smilin' and pinchin' one of my cheeks. I smile back at her as I take her hand and we intertwine our fingers. Mark sighs.

"What's wrong man?" I asked. Mark shakes his head.

"It's nothing," he replied.

"Don't gimmie that "it's nothing" shit. I can tell when somethin's wrong with you and somethin's definitely wrong. So, what is it?"

"I just thought Maureen was the one for me and now she's with Joanne."

I stifle my laughter. "Well, I'm pretty sure I can't help you there," I said, releasing Angel's hand and puttin' my arm around Mark. "But I can give you some words from the wise." We stop walkin'. "Now, Mark," I started.

"Yeah?" Mark replied.

"Mo is bisexual. We all know this and we have known it for a very long time." Mark's eyes widen.

"How come I didn't know?" he asked in shock. I take my arm from around him and give him a look signifying that I might think he's the stupidest person in the world. And I do right now.

"Yeah Mark. Your girlfriend's just gonna come up to you one day and say "Hey, wanna play a guessing game? I'll go first! Okay, guess what? I've figured out I'm bi. Actually, I've been bi for a while now, but I didn't say anything to you. Okay, now it's your turn. By the way, wanna find a hot chick and go have a threesome?" Is that what you think would happen?"

"I don't think that's what would happen exactly."

"Oh for the love of Christ! She didn't tell you because she thought you'd leave her."

"So instead she left me?"

"Guess so."

"Gee. Thanks for the pep talk Collins."

"Anytime man. Anytime." I smile and take my arm from around Mark as we start walkin' again. We're all silent for a moment until Mark's camera hits Angel in the elbow.

"Ow," she said, rubbin' her elbow.

"Sorry Angel. It was an accident," Mark said. Hmm. I could just let this go, or I could have some fun with it and turn it into a very big deal just to create a conversation. Yeah, I'm goin' with that one.

"Like hell it was," I said calmly.

"What?" Mark said confused.

"You heard me."

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

"You know that wasn't an accident."

"What are you talking about? Yes it was."

"No it wasn't."

"Would you care to explain how it wasn't?"

"You're jealous that I'm datin' someone and you ain't cause your girlfriend left you for another woman so you gotta take it out on my girl. Don't think I ain't on to you."

"Collins, what the hell are you talking about?" Mark's gettin' irritated. So far so good.

"You know exactly what I'm talkin' about!"

"No I�fuckin' don't!"

"Yes you fuckin' do!"

"Collins! Mark! Why the hell are you fighting over something that was an accident?" Angel interjected.

"Ha! Told you it was an accident!" Mark gloated. I put my hand over my heart and gape at Angel.

"How could you?" I asked her.

"How could I what?"

"How could you take his side? I'm the one who loves you! Do you not love me anymore?"

"Honey! Why would you ask me a question like that? Of course I love you, but it was an accident. Okay?"

I sigh. "Okay." She gives me a little peck. Ha ha. No one will ever know I did that cause I was bored.

"What time is it?" Mark suddenly asked.

"I think it's around 9:00," Angel said.

"Okay, I'm gonna go film some stuff and I'll meet you guys at the loft in a couple hours."

"Alright. See you soon sweetie." Mark walks ahead of us, turns the corner, and we can't see him any more. "So, what do you wanna do honey?" I look over at her.

"Let's not start that again," I said. Angel giggles. "Actually, I was thinkin' about goin' to talk to Roger. If that's okay."

"Of course it is. And while you're talking to Roger, I'll go check on Mimi and we'll meet up later. Agreed?"

"Agreed." We start headin' to the loft. As we walk, I put my arm around Angel's waist and pull her closer to me cause I'm smooth like that. Once we're at the correct building, I walk Angel to Mimi's place and then head up to the loft..

Oh yeah, I forgot. The door's locked. I walk back outside, climb the fire escape, and push on the window, which is unlocked. I quietly step into the loft and see Roger sittin' on the couch with his eyes closed. I walk up behind the couch and look down at him.

"BREAK YOURSELF, FOOL!" I yelled, causing Roger to jump out of his skin.

"Goddamn-it Collins! Don't do that!" Roger yelled at me.

"Well learn to lock the damn window then."

"What are you doin' here?"

"You forgettin' I live here?"

"Then where'd you go last night? Were you with Angel?"

"Yeah."

"What'd you guys do?"

"Why's my personal life so interesting to you?"

"Cause Mark's personal life consists of filming, trying to get me out of the house, and masturbating when he thinks no one's around."

"Ugh! I didn't need to know that last part!"

"Well, that's too bad." Roger sits back on the couch and I join him. "So, why'd you decide to come over after ditching me and Mark last night?"

"I just wanted to talk to you."

"About what?"

"About Mimi. She . . ."

"I don't wanna talk about her."

"Why do constantly keep pushin' every girl that wants to be with you away?"

"Cause they're all the same. They're either groupies, fan-girls, or junkies. Mimi's a junkie and I don't want anything to do with her."

"She reminds you of April doesn't she?" Roger nods. "Well, why don't you just give her a chance?"

"She's a junkie and I just quit."

"Maybe she'll change and you'll like the new her. You ever thought about that?"

"Not really. And I do like her I'm just . . ."

"Just what?"

"Scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Scared to move on. I mean, I was with April a long time and it's gonna take me that long to get over her."

"I know how you feel." Roger suddenly stands up.

"No you don't! You don't know how I feel! The girl I thought was the love of my life is gone! She left me in one of the most heartbreaking of ways! You don't know how it feels to have your heart ripped out of your chest and then put back upside down! Boo hoo if your boyfriend left you for someone else! He's still alive! April's dead! Don't you get it? You can just go out and find someone else or get back together with Josh! It's not that easy for me and you'll never understand it!" he yelled. I stare at him for a moment. Oh no this skinny little white motherfucker didn't!

"It's nice to hear your feelings. Now, it's my turn." I stand up. "The man I thought was the love of my life is gone too! The way he left me was heartbreaking no matter how minor it may seem to you! You're right about me not knowing how it feels to have my heart ripped out and put back upside down cause mine was back sideways! That's much worse! When your heart's sideways you wanna move on, but you don't think you can! And when you finally get enough courage to move on, you run into the person that broke your heart over and over and over again! Moving on is never easy no matter who you are or what you've been through! So the next time you wanna say I don't know how you feel, GET OFF YOUR LAZY, EMO-FIED ASS AND CHECK YOUR FUCKIN' FACTS!"

Tears are burnin' my eyes. Roger gives me a look like I just kicked his ass and walked away. He comes toward me and tries to put a hand on my shoulder, but I move away from him and head for the door.

"Collins, wait," he called after me. I turn around as he approaches me. I look him straight in the eyes.

"What?" I said.

"I didn't mean anything I just yelled at you. I'm just frustrated right now. I wanna be with Mimi, but I don't know what to do about the drugs." I wipe away the tears that are dangerously close to pourin' down my face.

"Just . . . give her a chance. Or at least try," I said.

"How?"

"Well . . . how 'bout the dinner party tonight at Life Cafe?"

"That could work." There's a silence before Roger comes closer to me and hugs me. I hug him back and we stand there for at least 3 minutes, hugging.

"I'm gonna step outside for some air. Wanna join me?" I asked after the hug ended. Roger nods. Once we're outside, Roger stops dead in his tracks. I look over at him. "What? Havin' second thoughts?"

"No, I just thought this would be better with our good friend Mary Juana," he said. I chuckle.

"Don't ever say that again in your natural born life."

"Right. I'll be right back." Roger goes back inside. While I'm standin' alone in the middle of the street waitin' for him, I'm grabbed from behind, a hand clamps over my mouth, and I'm dragged into an alley. The hand uncovers my mouth.

"Hello again Collins." Perfect! Just fuckin' perfect! Why does he keep appearin' outta nowhere? Why can't he just leave me the fuck alone? Why?

"What the hell do you want Josh?" I asked/yelled.

"That's none of your concern. But, if you'd just let me have it, I wouldn't have to keep doing this," he said. I manage to gain a small amount of freedom, but he still has a tight grip on one of my arms.

"Well, whatever it is you want, you can't have it!" I yelled. Honestly, I don't think that made any sense since I have no idea what he wants.

"If I want somethin', I'll take it," he explained in a cynical voice.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Then I'll use you as an example." An example? Oh shit. I think I know where this is goin'. "If I want you," he lowered his voice, "I'll take you." I feel myself start to tremble.

"W-what do you mean by that?" Josh pushes me against a wall.

"Allow me to show you."

Then the thing I've been dreading and fearing would happen starts with a forced kiss. There's groping added and before I know it, I'm on the ground with Josh on top of me. Before continuing, he looks me in the eyes.

"Do yourself a favor. Don't scream."

Mistakes I'm sorry for.�I have nothing�else to say except: Review this while I beat myself in the head with the heaviest thing I can find! I. REALLY. FUCKIN'. HATE. MY. SELF. RIGHT. NOW. :(