Chapter 14 – Here comes Voldemort, there goes the neighborhood
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The Dailey Profit hit the wizard world and the Dragon's Breath got a lot a free advertisement. Some how it got printed that the Dragon's Breath was were the élite dinned in safety, of course with "reservations". They had Minister Thicknesse and Chief Warlock dining there so it must be good not to mention hobnobbing with the best in magical society. The food was never mentioned.
I thought that Snape and Deatheaters defined as "best in magical society" was a bit much.
Voldemort in his luxurious throne surveyed his dingy dungeon in Crab Manor. Upstairs would be better but there was Crab, his wife and then Crab Jr. Together they had the brains of a flubber worm and conversations with them gave Voldemort a headache. The economy was in the toilet since that cursed Potter took off with his money to parts unknown. Now some foreigner had come and opened an expensive restaurant to irritate him and show off their Galleons. The ten Deatheaters sent to teach them a lesson and instill fear now sat in cells. They could rot there for a while, right now Voldemort and his limited force would have to show Diagon Alley the power of The Dark Lord.
"WORMTAIL!"
"Yes Master."
"Assemble all available Deatheaters we have a mission this evening and send in Lucius."
"Yes Master, right away Master"
"Lucius so good of you to come, I have a mission for you tonight."
"Thank you Master"
"I want you in the Dragon's Breath at 1700 hours, when the attack starts outside I want you and Macnair to kill as many as you can, here is your escape port-key"
"Thank you Master" Lucius was thinking, how in the hell do I get a reservation for that restaurant this late.
/Scene Break/
"Ah! Severus we have a date tonight…"
"I'm not into that kind of relation Headmaster."
"Good one Severus, no we have a reservation at the Dragon's Breath tonight. I believe that Jimmy Johnson is really Harry Potter under a 'glamour' charm.
"Headmaster, Potter is gone why do you keep trying to dig him up, he will only insult you again and disappear."
"Let's just take this a step at a time. Be in your best dress robes for dinner at 1730. We can 'floe' into the Leaky Cauldron. If you can hit Mr. Johnson with a 'Finite Incantatem' without being seen please do so.
Severus didn't get Voldemort's recall notification until he was seated in the Dragon's Breath restaurant. It was too late to head to Voldemort and he knew punishment would be comming when Voldemort saw him later.
/Scene Break/
Fifty Deatheaters appeared in Diagon alley followed minutes later by Voldemort himself. As before when the first spell hit the restaurant shields fell over the windows and doors and Jimmy Johnson stood on the front steps with a wand in each hand. Voldemort took a step backwards involuntarily. He saw spells and curses coming from the young upstart that he alone knew how to cast. Then he started to see a variety of deadly curses that he Voldemort had never seen or heard cast, all with devastating results. His troops were being cut down or exsploding all over the street.
Voldemort then got another shock; part of the front wall of the long restaurant fell into the street. His first thoughts of satisfaction was doused when hoards of Goblins rushed out to engage his Deatheaters. The next second he was in a battle with the deadly young man who couldn't be older that sixteen. The insolent brat wouldn't stay in one place and kept calling him Tom or Riddle and 'apperating' around like a pesky bee with a larger stinger.
So far he had hit the pest with a cutting curse but it appeared not to have much effect. The pest must be wearing armor of some kind. Voldemort was pleased to see blood appearing on his left arm.
This was going nowhere so if the kid could 'apperate'… when Voldemort tried...found 'anti-apperation' wards. His emergency port-key found wards also but the kid kept 'apperating' all over the place. Vodemort was hit full in the chest with a curse and then another, he felt himself drifting in wrath form and out of the alley.
Inside the restaurant Macnair got off one 'Avada Kedavra' when he noticed a pain in his neck and knew no more. Lucius Malfoy also got off an 'Avada Kedavra' and found most of his arm and his wand lying on the ground before the pain hit. Goblin Ax's got the two, the Deatheaters killed only two innocent people in the resturant. Lucius would live but no one was interested in quick medical attention to save the arm. Voldemort would also be upset with his failure.
The Ministry Aurors finally arrived to add to the confusion of the fight. The Goblins fell back into the restaurant and the wall returned to its previous position. The Goblins then opened the connecting wall to Gringotts and returned with their injured and dead.
Jimmy Johnson entered the restaurant in need of medical attention. His wives provided that medical attention along with trying to laugh, cry and tell him off all at the same time. The 'Finite Incantatem' called from the shadows did nothing except elicit, "Snape I'm going to kick your ass!" from Jimmy Johnson.
"Well fought my boy that was one spectacular show you put on against the Deatheaters…" Dumbledore was drawing his wand to cast an identification spell on the young boy as he talked…he found himself staring down the wands of two young ladies. He was further interrupter my Madam Bones charging into the restaurant demanding in a loud voice. "Who the hell killed Voldemort?"
I half heartedly raised my hand only to have her shake it blathering praise in my direction.
"Amelia, I'm afraid that Voldemort is not dead and will return…"
"Shut it, Albut we have the body on the way to the Ministry…
While all the yelling and other verbal nonsense was erupting, I grabbed the girls and snuck out of sight. The next morning I told the manager that we were disappearing and we headed to our castle in France. Being Jimmy Johnson was now as bad as being Harry Potter; everyone would want an interview or shake his hand. That is excluding the left over Deatheaters.
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The Dailey Profit special edition: …^…^…^…^Is the Dark Lord Dead?...^…^…
Is there a new Dark Lord killer or was this a gigantic hoax? Dear readers after all the reports of He Who Must Not Be Named being killed in Diagon Alley the Ministry refuses to show us the body. The young man who was reported to be Jim Johnson cannot be found nor do any records exist such as school or Ministry records that he ever existed. That he ever existed are from rumors out of Knockturn Alley and other unreliable sources. Some even state that he is our Chosen One in disguise. Our inside sources state that the Minister either lost or never had the body of the Dark Lord. While a body was logged in and put in a medical vault the Ministry seems to have miss laid the body. We will continue our investigation into these rumors or if it is a gigantic hoax.
Rita Skeeter
Dailey Profit
/Scene Break/
Daphne recommended a vacation while Tracey wanted a road trip covering half the world. We compromised and rented a motor coach and attempted to visit all of the Americas and Canada. The trip was a lot of work for me as I was the only driver. The girls didn't cook but Sissy was happy for something to do besides waxing and policing the entire coach. She would not stop working and I got all the driving, so vacation didn't describe our time. The girls got bored after a few months and the next thing I know we are in a magical Alley, shopping of course. That got us a copy of the International newspaper and disappointing news. Voldemort was back and on a rampage.
We were parked next to a lake and the sun was setting. "Now that is what I call a sunset" I mused as I laid on the lawn chair sipping on a cold drink.
"It is beautiful and relaxing" Daphne sighed.
"Well get off your buns and get the BBQ grill lit or we never get those steaks done." Tracey ordered.
"You're a real party pooper, just relax and…" The large Owl swooped in and landed on my knee.
I untied the note and told the girls. "Looks like a trip to the nearest Gringotts would be in our best interest"
"Interesting but does it say why?" Tracey asked.
"Nope, another Goblin 'I'm not telling' type note.
/Scene Break/
We arrived at the local Gringotts and were ushered into a large conference room. "Ah, Lord Potter and Ladies Potter and Slytherin I welcome you to Gringotts. Our other counter part will be arriving shortly, Tea and biscuits?
"Harry! How are you and your lovely ladies?" SharpKnife walked in the room with IronFist.
After the usual bows and pleasantries SharpKnife got down to the purpose of the meeting. Minister Thicknesse has offered a pardon to you for the poor actions of Fudge."
"What's the catches to this pardon" I asked.
"Your to return to England is the only stipulation" SharpKnife responded.
"You mean Voldemort wants Harry back in England." Daphne just beat Tracey's thoughts, "Or Dumbledore."
"Nope, no pardon, I want the entire thing thrown out and a public apology. Let's see how far Albus and Tom can push Thicknesse" was my last word on the subject.
/Scene Break/
Well they pushed and the next offer was to throw the conviction out and a public apology if Harry did a year of community service.
"You know that community service means with the Ministry and you will be the poster boy for Thicknesse until your enemies get to you?" Daphne explained. Thicknesse was informed that the offer was rejected as community service looked like I had done something wrong.
Their next offer was to throw out the conviction, make a public apology by the Ministry and then announce that I was to be the new DADA teacher at Hogwarts for the entire year.
"Their not giving up on us returning to England." I was laughing because we were now living at the Caladrius Hotel penthouse in England.
"Your not going to get a better deal or talk them out of getting you back in England." Tracey stated.
"We will have private quarters in Hogwarts so we won't be total open to be attacked." Daphne added.
"OK! We go for the offer from Thicknesse and starting on September 1st... its train ride time.
"How are we going dear, as Harry Potter or ourselves or as the others?" Daphne asked the big question.
"I say as ourselves, they can piss-off for all I care" Tracey voted
"Seconded," responded Daphne.
"Well I guess my mind is made up, majority rules. However, thinking about it, you're correct, enough with the hiding of our identities."
I think that's why we took their offer in the first place, after one year they can do as Tracey put it, piss-off.