A/N: Oh my goodness! Over 200 reviews! People, you are so loved right now! And for this wonderful thing that you guys have given me, I've put up a Yullen PWP titled "Say Please, Kanda". I've also released a sequel to this PWP just for Christmas! Don't you love me? Haha. It's found on my profile or if you search for it. It's a present for you guys for sticking with me. I've even put up a contest in my Christmas Yullen where you guys get to choose what goes in my PWPs! Don't forget to review, yeah?

Warning: This chapter contains some scenes of cutting and molestation.

Happy Reading!

-

The recent weeks that followed were like a dream for Allen. Everything was going so well. Okay, maybe that was somewhat an exaggeration. Life was never perfect. But all in all, the month was the best he'd had. And anyway, who was he to fight the fates?

Kanda and him were doing better and better. He'd been eating more, thanks to his Innocence welcoming the food with a vengeance. A vengeance, to make up for all the food that his stomach had been deprived of in the long previous months. In days, he had progressed to three main stable meals with two snacks in between. His meals were increasing in quantity too!

Jerry had been so happy that he'd been singing whilst cooking in the kitchen the whole week after Allen had asked him for seconds for the first time! The man had wept and rejoiced at seeing his favorite customer returning to his former self. He'd officially celebrated it by making tons of mitarashi dango, which in turn of course made Allen extremely happy. Kanda, however, was a different story.

The infallible samurai…had fallen into the trap of Allen's puppy dog eyes.

He discovered this fatal weakness of his when Jerry the crazy cook had made tons of mitarashi dango. Kanda had mostly been minding his own business, eating his soba and drinking his tea; while watching Allen eat his lunch. The younger had a plate that had a small mountain of mitarashi dango on it and was currently sneaking glances at it, drooling until the moment he could eat it. Kanda had expressly forbidden him to eat the sweets until he'd finished his meal but Allen couldn't wait that long! Allen quickly gobbled up his food and stared at Kanda beseechingly, begging for permission to be given.

Kanda sighed exasperated, "Fine, go eat that weird sweet things already!" He could never figure out why people liked to eat sweet stuff. It just seemed weird to him…

Allen smiled and clapped his hands in glee. The best part about recovering was that he got his way with food. Anything he wanted to eat, he got it. But ultimately, he'd changed for the better. Seeing Kanda cry openly had made him feel so guilty that he'd refused to even think about returning to his old ways! He picked one stick up and started eating the sweets that were skewered on it. He moaned… Oh, how he missed this! He sneaked a look at the samurai sitting across him. Kanda hated sweets, period. But was there a way to make him eat one stick of mitarashi dango?

Hmm… He wondered.

Allen started plotting carefully as he slowly savored the rare treat. Shishou had always left him with too many debts for him to even consider mitarashi dango as a snack… Allen grinned inwardly; he had the perfect plan.

"Kanda?" Allen started asking the samurai.

"Tch. What is it, Baka Moyashi?" Kanda answered, looking down at the boy beside him.

"Do you want a taste of my mitarashi dango? It's so good…" Allen asked cheerfully, dragging his last two words to make them more exaggerated.

"No."

"Aww, Kanda please?"

"I said, no!"

Suddenly there was silence from the person sitting next to him. Kanda brought his attention away from the tea he was drinking and looked down again. Allen's head was down; his long white bangs hiding his face from view and his shoulders were trembling and shaking.

"O-Oi, Moyashi. What's wrong?" Kanda asked, a little nervous. Was Allen crying?

Allen shook his head, never lifting it as he just stared down. Kanda tried in vain for several minutes to try and ask what was wrong before he grew impatient. "Moyashi, you better tell me what's wrong right now or I'm leaving you here!" Kanda said, annoyed.

Allen finally looked up. His silver eyes were filled with tears and sadness, with one leaking down his pale cheek as he said with his voice hitching from silent sobs, "I… I only wanted you to try a little bit. It's just so good and I only wanted to share it with someone. No one's ever shared food with me. I just want to do what friends do…" Allen voice quavered at the last sentence. All through it all, he kept his gaze right on Kanda, making his eyes as sad as possible.

Kanda groaned pathetically as he steadily fell under the pressure of the puppy dog eyes that were now welling up in tears. Silver eyes, that was miserable and pleading for him to eat that one stick of sweets. What harm could it be to just eat one stick of this junk, right? To see the disappointed gaze on the face would be a tragedy in the making. Kanda screwed his courage back on and looked at Allen again. It was like he was hypnotized when he'd seen that a tear had rolled over and splashed onto the table. His lower lip was pouted out and trembling as he held Kanda's gaze.

Kanda plucked the offending stick of sweets and grimaced, before looking at Allen. "Do you really want me to eat this?" he asked again, not wanting to eat it. He looked up at Allen and he couldn't look away. He had promptly fallen into the spell. Silver orbs that were filled with so much hope and happiness that he, Kanda, was going to eat it! Who could resist a gaze like that? Probably only a saint, and that was something Kanda wasn't for sure.

Kanda took one last disgusted look at it and screwing his eyes shut, he took a bite of it. He was hoping against hope that by not seeing it, the stuff would taste better. Not. It was just as horribly sweet as he'd always remembered sweet stuff tasted like! But then, as he chewed it; again and again, it somehow didn't taste as bad. Granted it was very sweet (to him, anyway!) but there were different textures to it. Somehow he found the consistency a bit like the tempura's chewy insides. Don't ask him how, he didn't know…

He opened his eyes and swallowed the thing, only allowing a grimace to come over his handsome features. "It's…okay," he gruffly said before he quickly added, "But I'm not eating anymore!"

Allen smirked.

Mission accomplished!

*****

Allen was now spending more of his time in the library, either reading through books or doing some paperwork to ease some of the burden on Komui. Spending the time was efficient towards making his thoughts flow a little more smoothly. He had been annoying Kanda consistently with his constant musings on whether Lavi was okay and when he would return. Spending some time alone had been good while Kanda was out training. Kanda called it his own personal time. Well, not so politely but that was the meaning behind it. Truthfully, Kanda had called it "A bloody time to not be stupid and use his small brain to think. He'd also better not fucking come out still whining!"

Allen smiled absently as his mind got more focused into the book he was reading. Right now, he was very interested in the history of the Order and he'd been asking Bookman to show him some of the books that he could study and know more about the building he was living in. That was of course, when he felt someone's gaze on him.

Thinking it was Bookman, he'd called out. "I'll be going off soon. I'm just finishing up!" Usually, Bookman and he took turns using the library as Bookman rarely allowed people in while he was doing his work, except for Lavi. Even then, Lavi does get kicked out countless times.

-

A leery smile and a pair of grubby hands with a face to match hid behind one of the bookshelves. Boots that were so well worn that you could the see soles wearing thin covered up to the knees. A coat that was frayed at the edges covered the somewhat pudgy and short body with his hood pulled all the way up. From the darkness, all that could be seen were a pair of glinting eyes filled with lust and desire.

The eyes observed the handsome, lean body before him. A beautiful boyish yet in a way, still babyish face with two large eyes and long eyelashes framing it. A pair of arms with pale creamy skin. A well-defined chest, which had the beginnings of a six-pack lay underneath the tank top that barely covered the waist, it was currently covering. Legs that were encased in a pair of figure hugging pants, showing the curve of his behind. The figure stood up to put a book away on one of the top shelves.

The eyes had a glint of dark pleasure as the figure went up to his full height. Saliva filled his mouth and he had to bite back a groan as the figure before him stretched up revealing skin that lay unmarred, just waiting for a few bites that he could deliver. Maybe, even a few bruises to that lovely skin which almost seemed as pale as snow from where he was skulking. The figure slowly stepped out…

-

"Why can't this thing stay up there!" Allen muttered to himself as he tried unsuccessfully for the fourth time, trying to put back the book he'd read on the top shelf.

He'd been trying to put it back for quite some time, knowing that Bookman would want to use the library soon. The old man was probably waiting outside impatiently… All Allen could hope was that he'd not get a kick to his bum like Lavi always did. The teen groaned and tried one more time. Screwing his face in concentration, he jumped with all his might and tried placing the book back again. Allen opened his eyes and glanced up as he landed on the ground. He smiled as he saw the book in place. Success!

He turned around, only to feel a hand grabbing his bum. Allen froze in place, his eyes widening. "Who-whoever y-you are, i-it's not funny! L-let go!" his voice quavered as he tried to turn around once again.

Once again, he was stopped. Allen was slowly panicking as his old and long lost memories of his rape resurfaced. "It's-s no-not funny!" he finally screamed as he began struggling when the hand on the bum started fondling his butt cheeks. The other hand slipped to his chest and started groping and squeezing his nipples. All that the white-haired could hear was heavy breathing behind him.

Screaming and struggling for help, for anyone, just anyone to come and help him. Kanda? Lavi? Komui? Anybody? Where were they? Didn't they promise to protect him? Where were they now? Allen began fighting back. Kicking at anything, and flailing his hands about when he struck the man's face. The man cursed as his face was knocked backwards by Allen, who was now like a colt gone wild. His eyes were going from side to side, not seeing anything in front of him as he just struggled in the unknown man's arms. The final blow finally struck when the man opened his mouth and started licking his ear, panting.

"What are you struggling for? You know you want it. You let that Noah rape you, didn't you? You like this! You want it, you slut! Whore!"

The man ended his comments with a harsh bite to the ear he had been laving his saliva with. Allen screamed his hardest as flashbacks that had been suppressed for so long came back to him. As the man molested him, he could do nothing but relive the mental torture in his mind all over again. His mind were full of Tyki and his poisonous words as he felt the man rip open his top and pants before molesting him roughly, making it as painful as he could for the 'whore' who deserved it. By now, Allen was almost lost…

Delirious with nightmares and reality that were beginning to have a parallel dimension about them. It seemed as if all hope was lost… Of course, he was a slut and a whore, wasn't he? He deserved it, right? After all, it was all he was good for. He was there for other people's pleasure. Never his own. After all, nobody cared about him… If they did, where were they now? People who cared stood by you. If they'd cared, they would have protected him…

Suddenly, a memory crept up on him. Kanda's face came up, slashing the nightmares into half. The nightmares were fading into the background as Kanda's face came into focus. Allen gasped silently.

Kanda looked at the white-haired, who was now waiting for his half-hour to finish before he could move and was gazing around the cafeteria in apparent boredom. Looking more closely, the samurai saw how nervous he actually was.

Softening his eyes, Kanda gently held the stiff hand beside him. The hand was clammy and stiff. The samurai softly squeezed the hand, "You did well today, Moyashi. I'm proud of you…"

In a snap, his mind came back to reality when a hand finally reached into his pants and grabbed his member. Allen froze again, this time for less than a second as his whole body went stiff with the intrusion. Giving a silent prayer to the gods above, he reached down and bit the man as hard as he could on the arm that was wrapped around his waist.

The man cursed and let his victim go, to nurse his arm. He didn't realize that his victim had run off until he'd looked around to see the last of a leg run out of the library. His eyes wide open in horror, he used up all the swear words in his vocabulary before taking off himself. It was time to save his own skin!

*****

Allen ran through the halls without stopping. Though his memory had saved him this time, he didn't believe in that dream anymore. Ultimately, he was alone… What he didn't realize was that he'd just run past the training room where Kanda had just finished his training and was shouldering his coat on. Tears were flying into the air from the speed he was running, all Allen could think of was a certain something that would bring salvation. Something that would make him feel less dirty, less of a 'whore'. It was as if he could still feel the pair of hands still on him running up and down his body…

What he didn't realize was that he was running in the hallways with his shirt torn open and the only thing that was keeping his also torn pants up, was his left hand. It was unconsciously riding the pants higher and higher, trying to hide his upper body even further. His eyes were roving around madly, not even noticing that Kanda had called out to him. He was panicking. Hyperventilating. Nothing but total chaos was running through his mind. Nothing made sense to the sixteen year old right now. All he wanted was that something in his room…

Kanda on the other hand, was quite simply shocked to see Allen dash across just as he was about to fetch the boy himself. His eyes soon zeroed in how exactly the young General's appearance was. Taking no chances, he rushed after Allen, shouting his name and asking him to stop. Kanda cursed rather fluently in Japanese as he saw Allen rounding off at an intersection of three hallways. Flipping his head from left to right with his hair whipping into his face, all Kanda could do was follow his instincts as he tried to focus his mind on finding his charge. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Kanda tried to think of nothing as he just walked into the hallway that felt right. Knowing that Allen knew much more hidden rooms and passages, all he could do was hope for the best.

He opened his eyes slowly, only to sigh slightly in relief. It was the corridor that led to Allen's own room. Breaking into a sprint, the samurai opened the door of the room with bang- to find Allen desperately looking in every place in his room, turning the place topsy-turvy. Kanda stepped forward into the room to ask what the bloody hell had happened. This however, was put to a definite stop, as Allen seemed to find what he was searching for. Kanda looked on with a frown to his face, unsure what was happening when his eyes widened with what could only be…

Fear.

Allen stood in the middle of his room with his belongings strewn all over. Holding a long forgotten pair of scissors, his eyes glinted with almost a maniacal look. It seemed almost slow motion as he dragged the open blade down on his arm. The blade moved towards the pale skin that was now marred with bruises, digging into the flesh. As the blood slowly welled up, Allen pushed the blade deeper within when Kanda leapt over to him and snatched it away.

Giving a loud cry, Allen watched in horror as the blade scratched a red horizontal line across before landing in Kanda's outstretched hand. No… No… No… Please, don't take this away from me! Droplets of blood slowly dripped down as the British slowly put his arm down. His gaze was fixed on the swordsman who had his back towards him, heaving. Is this person going to take my only source of salvation too? Am I doomed? The teen could not recognize the older person before him.His eyes turned huge as he stood trembling. Kanda's eyes were narrowed in deep fury as he turned back around to face Allen when all anger evaporated into thin air.

Allen stood shivering in the centre, with his eyes as wide as a china doll's eyes. His face had a chalky pallor to it and his hands were trembling as blood continued to drip down. His top still hung open, exposing his abused chest. Bites adorned his neck just as bruises in shape of handprints decorated his chest. His pants had fallen to the ground and his legs trembled like jelly. But what caught Kanda's attention were the glazed eyes.

Shame. Pain. Fear.

That was all he could see. To Kanda right now, Allen seemed like a very small and scared boy. His posture was of someone who had some sort of abuse done to him. Allen was drawing into himself as his spine curved in slightly while still staring fearfully at the unknown person before him. He honestly could not recognize that it was Kanda in front of him!

How could he stay angry?

Kanda stood still and reached out slowly with his free hand. All the samurai could do was watch sadly as Allen flinched and backed a few steps further before his hand even touched the younger teen's body. His heart ached as he watched all the progress that the strong soul had made vanish before his eyes.

"Mo-Allen, it's Kanda. Are you okay?" Kanda slowly said as he tried to make his voice as soft and as non-threatening as possible.

Allen kept quiet.

"A-Allen, it's Kanda. You know, BaKanda?" Kanda tried again. Allen's given name felt very weird on his tongue after calling him Moyashi for so long. He'd even tried the nickname that Moyashi had given him. Once again, there was no response. By now, Allen was sobbing silently as tears streaked down his face again as he made the dried tear tracks wet again.

Kanda just stood in front of Allen, trying again and again. Slowly trying his luck, Kanda stepped one step forward. There was no reaction. Keeping up what he hoped was a soothing commentary, Kanda kept on moving towards the shaking body when he finally reached it. At a loss of what else to do, he did the first thing that came to mind. He opened his arms and grabbed Allen. Holding the boy to his chest, it was all Kanda could do to stop his own tears in falling as Allen started struggling and screaming in his grip. All Kanda could do was shush and repeat soothing words in a choked voice as he watched Allen fall apart slowly, bit by bit.

Both slowly fell to the floor without releasing each other as Allen continued on like a wildcat, scratching and biting at anything. It was long after when he finally settled down… By then, all Allen could do was plead for Kanda to release him. He had no more strength left to fight. Kanda just sat there silently until even Allen turned silent. Finally, he spoke.

"Moyashi. A-Allen, it's me Kanda. Your BaKanda... Do you remember me?" Kanda whispered.

"Ka-Kanda?" Allen finally asked in a small voice.

Kanda could finally breathe a sigh of relief. His Moyashi was back… Kanda hugged him closer to his chest and asked, "What happened back there, Moyashi?"

Allen stiffened. He tried to move away from the grip that Kanda had him in but Kanda refused to let him go. All Kanda would do was hug him even tighter. Out of exhaustion, Allen gave up the fight and laid his head back against Kanda's chest, closing his eyes.

"Nothing happened, Kanda…" Allen sighed wearily.

Kanda scowled. He hated it when the Moyashi lied to him. "Don't lie, Moyashi. You know I hate it!"

Allen sighed again. He really didn't want to relive the experience but he knew Kanda wasn't going to live it down. After all, it might be easier to talk about it now rather than later.

He went on to finally tell after a few more minutes of denial in which Kanda's impatience grew. When he'd finally told the samurai, it had been done in stuttering sentences that had only served to weaken Kanda's patience even further.

As Allen finally reached the end of the story, he was hiccupping and sobbing slightly as he relived through it as he'd told his friend. Kanda, however, was now teeming with anger. He was angry with the man for doing this to the one who had captured his heart. He was angry with Allen for not fighting the man off better though he knew it was irrational. Most of all, he was angry with himself for not being there. But it being Kanda, he could only release his anger on the only available outlet.

Allen.

He let go of Allen and started pacing up and down the length of the room, trying his best to ignore the whimpers and sobs. When the noise grew louder than he could bear, he whipped around and faced Allen.

"Shut up! You're just sitting there crying and not doing anything to fucking help yourself! Why didn't you fight him off better, huh? Why did you let him touch you? What kind of Exorcist are you if you can't even defend yourself against a molester!" Kanda shouted at Allen before he could catch himself.

Allen stared at him with his mouth slightly open. Kanda finally caught the gist of his own words and winced. "Mo-Allen, I didn't mean it like that. It just… It just came out wrong!"

Allen closed his mouth and turned away before he started laughing bitterly. A cold and bitter laugh soon filled the room as Kanda stared at the person on the floor. Tears continued to pour down the cheeks but Allen continued to laugh, finally unnerving Kanda. Kanda was now even more unsure what to do… When he tried calling Allen again, there was no response except cold unfeeling laughter.

"Where were you, Kanda!?" Allen screamed finally. He gave an accusing stare to Kanda as tears streamed down his face. His eyes were red from crying as he stared at Kanda. The laughter had stopped but the crying silver eyes now seemed like chips of ice. They pierced right through the samurai's heart as the weight of his words dropped on his shoulders.

"Where were you when I needed you? Why was I alone again? Am I such a bad person? What? Was I not worth it anymore? I get it! I'm weak! I'm disgusting! I'm a whore! I know that…" Allen ended his ranting with a whisper of the last sentence.

"Moyashi…" Kanda tried.

"I DESERVED it. I KNOW! I KNOW ALL OF THAT!" Allen was babbling now as he tried his best to stand up and walk away. But it was the last sentence, which finally made Kanda snap out of his self-induced stupor and move forward and hold the boy once again in his arms.

"I know that I'm not worth saving," Allen's sentence rang out aloud in the room.

Kanda gave a heart-wrenching cry as he crushed the boy to him, unable to hear those words being uttered. It was blasphemy! Kanda shushed him once again each time Allen tried to say something. He could not hear the words being uttered for the second time. Not anymore. Enough was enough.

In the end, it took the end of the entire day to convince Allen that he was worth saving. Kanda apologized over and over, even after Allen had forgiven him. Though it seemed as if Allen had forgiven the samurai too easily, he knew Kanda better than himself. The samurai had needed to get that outburst out of the way just as he did. It was the only way they both knew how to cope. They had needed it.

Making him promise, however, was another long process. It took quite some time before the British finally promised not to cut and that he would go to Kanda if he felt like doing it. Extracting the promise had been hard, as Allen had somehow been convinced that the blade was his salvation to his shame and pain. Giving up the blade had finally taken blackmail, after Allen had pleaded, cried and even begged on his knees for his blade to be given back.

It was lucky that Timcanpy was off for repairs because Kanda was quite sure that the golem would have something harsh to say about Allen cutting again. Finally, he picked up the younger teen and cradled him to his chest before going to the bathroom to clean the younger up. Allen had refused to let Kanda go when the samurai had wanted him to clean himself up. In the end, Kanda had been forced to take a washcloth to wipe Allen's body over while leaving his boxers. Rubbing the thin body down with a towel, he'd then taken Allen's box of medical supplies and treated all his injuries. Without missing a beat and batting an eyelid, he even dressed Allen in pajamas.

Allen, who had seldom felt anyone care for him, relished the attention that Kanda gave him. He craved the attention…much more of it. Not even saying a single word, he let Kanda cradle him in the strong arms again as the samurai brought them to his own room. Kanda did not want Allen to sleep in the room that currently looked as if a hurricane went through it. Not until he'd cleaned up and sorted through everything to make sure it was blade-proof!

Opening the door to his own room, Kanda went in with Allen in his arms like a baby. Allen's head was laid on Kanda's shoulder, his eyes blinking blearily. His adrenaline rush was no more and he was quite exhausted from the day's events. Settling the Allen down on the bed, Kanda turned around about to settle himself in his chair for a long night, when a small hand grabbed the end of his coat. Kanda turned around with an eyebrow raised in question.

"C-could yo-you stay w-with me?" Allen stuttered in embarrassment.

"Why?" Kanda asked, not understanding.

"I'm scared…" Allen whispered, his eyes turned to the bed sheets as his hands twisted in anxiety. What if Kanda refused?

Kanda could only heave an exhausted sigh for he, too was very tired. He got into bed with Allen and scooped up the boy to lie beside him. Allen, however, had perceived the sigh as a sign that he was a burden and tried to apologize unnecessarily and move himself out of the samurai's bed. It wasn't until Kanda had snapped that he was fine that he finally let the matter go.

"It's fine, Moyashi. Now close your eyes and fucking go to sleep!"

Allen hesitantly nodded. He gave a small smile as he moved further into Kanda's body heat. With Kanda, he felt safe. He felt as if nothing could get through… And with that thought on his mind, he went off to sleep with no dreams but Kanda's warm body to help him sleep.

*****

For the next few weeks, Allen became very clingy towards Kanda. He would always be touching Kanda, in some form of the other. Grabbing a fist of coat as they walked into the cafeteria, hiding behind the tall teen when someone was talking to him, sometimes even squeezing the life out of Kanda's hand as they walked into a crowd.

Kanda had no such problems with the bean sprout taking up his personal space. He himself would have been worried if Allen was too normal. That would've meant that he was repressing the events that had happened. Better to get the whole thing out of the way first. Kanda had personally gone to Komui about the incident. The night that Allen had slept in his arms, the samurai had went to get the scum who had done the despicable act.

Only having slept for three hours, his temper was not the best; especially when he heard a Finder bragging about having Allen Walker liking him. The Finder was surrounded by a group of other Finders who were negating his story and calling it bullshit. The man was actually proud of it and started telling his friends on how he had assaulted Allen!

Kanda could not believe his ears and he rushed off to grab the finder by the cloth of his hood, purposely choking him. The rest of the Finders did nothing when they saw how angry Kanda was. They knew that the samurai was extremely protective of his comrade and thus, knew that Kanda had a right to do what he wanted. After all, who would want to stop a murderous samurai who was on the warpath of someone who was claiming to have assaulted and molested Allen Walker? That was just total stupidity! And the group of Finders had no death wish whatsoever.

It was a full hour later before he finally delivered the pulp of the Finder back to Komui with one sentence, "He did it." The Finder's face looked horrible with bruises all over and a split lip. Though that was the least of the Finder's problems. He'd been beaten so badly that he was knocked out. Needless to say that the Finder was soon out of a job within the next hour and was kicked out with nothing but the clothes on his back. The best part of this whole process?

He was still unconscious.

-

Kanda had rushed back to the room just in time to stop a crying but still dreaming Allen from hurting himself. He'd opened the door with a bang to see Allen hanging precariously on the edge of the bed fighting the sheets and blankets that were now wrapped around him in his struggle to get free. Yelling and crying to get free, the only visible words Kanda could decipher were "No… Stop… No… Kanda… Help…"

Kanda rushed over with just enough time to catch Allen as he fell off the bed. Heaving a sigh, he stood up with his small burden and sat on the bed. Why did it always have to happen with Allen? Why couldn't the kid have a normal life? Why was it always him? The samurai had no answers as he looked into the young face. So young, but with so many burdens…

Allen's face still had its chalky pallor and frown lines decorated his forehead. Even asleep, he could not forget his burdens. His eyebrows were still furrowed and his lower lip still had bite marks from where his teeth had bitten it. Allen looked as if he was in a very uncomfortable sleep.

Hesitantly, Kanda lowered his hands and tried to sooth the frown lines and the furrowed eyebrows. Allen murmured something and moved a little bit but the lines disappeared. He placed Allen beside him and closed his eyes, hoping that tomorrow would be better.

-

In the following weeks, Kanda did a comparison of what Allen felt when Kanda touched him against what that scum had done to him.

Finding that his touch was comforting and did bring a negative reaction other than a slight flinching if he moved from the back, Kanda sought to find out if other people's touches did the same. He soon discovered that girls made no reaction whatsoever for Allen but males being the problem.

For as long as he could, Kanda tried to get Allen used to other male's touches. Brief brushes of shoulders. Hands patting on the back. A handshake. Everything.

He tried to make him comfortable and made other people's touch not as traumatic, making sure that all the men faced the teen rather than coming from behind. Wanting to make the transitions as easy as possible, he tried the person that Allen faced each day.

Jerry.

This time, no one dared to gossip or even whisper about the incident after seeing the unnamed Finder being thrown out. They did not know whether the Finder was even alive and frankly, they didn't care. Nobody wanted to have the same treatment inflicted on him or her by Kanda. Not even if they had a death wish… Apparently, Johnny who had seen Kanda beating up the Finder had told them that Kanda had purposely made it as painful as possible. In ways they had no wish to know. Those who had thought that Kanda had softened were reminded of his rather brutal side.

Being exposed to Jerry daily did wonders for Allen. Feeling much more confident, he had requested for Kanda to step it up and make him heal faster though Kanda said it was better to be as slow as possible.

This had led to yet one of the more infamous squabbles between the two. But after sleeping alone for one night, Allen had caved in and followed Kanda's demands. Having Kanda's support meant a lot to him and his healing processes sped up under careful supervision and care.

Not long after, Allen was soon introduced to the males that he had known and was more familiar with in the Order. Having a cheerful atmosphere and seeing the friends he had act normally around him instead of ostracizing him or despising him helped even more. Time soon saw Allen growing used to these touches that were necessary to his job as an Exorcist. And though he still preferred Kanda's to others, he was much more used to it. Flinching had given way to shying away to a bravely accepting those handshakes and pats on his backs.

-

"Kanda… Do you really have to go?" Allen asked sadly as he tried to put on a brave face. His last pillar of strength was leaving too? Would Kanda and Lavi come back alive? Or were they too going to leave him behind like the other people he'd cared about?

Lavi had finally called the Order last night. He'd been fighting Akuma non-stop in search of the Innocence but he just couldn't find it! Finally giving up, he'd decided to call for back up. And of course, being Kanda's luck, he was the only Exorcist available as Lenalee just got back and none were available. Komui had regretfully told both Kanda and Allen that it was Kanda's turn to go off.

Kanda gave a quirk of his lips as he saw Allen scuffing his legs to and fro as the boy tried to hide his nervousness of him leaving. The young General was worrying his bottom lip with his teeth and he was twisting his hands as he always did when he was scared or nervous. Though it was plain to see in this case, that it was both. Kanda had to keep a smirk away from his face as he watched how predictable the Moyashi was. He gave the Finder next to him a brief nod before he turned back to Allen.

He held out his arms. "Come here, Baka Moyashi," he ordered. Allen's eyes lit up in an almost childish way as he was enveloped into Kanda's embrace. Allen hugged the older teen as hard as he could, not wanting to let go. Kanda smiled as he breathed in the smell of Allen and the feel of his small body against his own. The moment however, could not last…

It was time for Kanda to go as the Finder called Kanda's name again. Kanda slowly untangled Allen's hands form around his waist, shushing him gently when Allen put up a struggle and let out a loud cry.

"Hush, Moyashi. I've put you in Lenalee's hands. You'll be fine. You should've known that I'd have to go on a fucking mission, sooner or later!" Kanda said firmly.

Kanda had given a list of instructions and a long lecture to Komui on how to help Lenalee. He'd also done the same to Lenalee since she was going to be the guardian, taking care of Allen. Though he was progressing well, Kanda did not want to take a chance with Komui accidentally giving Allen a relapse.

Allen looked up. "I don't want you to go…"

Kanda gave a small smile and gave one last brief squeeze before letting Allen go. "I don't want to go either. Who would know what you would've been up to by the time I get back? Knowing you, you'd probably blow up the cafeteria or something. Or maybe, you'd finally eat the whole cafeteria out and leave the rest to starve!" Kanda said sarcastically. The light-hearted humor did its job.

Allen started to laugh. He nodded in reply.

"Maybe I will! Maybe I'd even eat all your soba, BaKanda!"

Kanda scowled jokingly. "You better not, Baka Moyashi. I still want my soba!" He looked at Allen and gave a small smile.

"Remember your promise, Moyashi…" Kanda said as a parting warning as he set off with the Finder. He waited for a nod from Allen before he set off on a run. They were late for their train as it is! As they disappeared into small figures into the horizon, Allen finally spoke up.

"I remember, Kanda."

-

A/N: My friend inspired this chapter and this entire story. She was in the lift, going somewhere one day when a man went in with her. He started opening his pants and masturbated in front of her and was getting near her. She pressed the nearest floor button and ran out. The man was never caught.

Though her family and friends said to just get over it, she got traumatized. It took a while for her to stop flinching at people's touches. For me, I got started thinking on what if she was raped. Hence, this chapter on touching to show what she went through.

Please do review and join my contest placed in my Christmas Yullen! Allen and Kanda shaped marshmallows up for grabs!