Hello everybody! Everyone excited for Christmas? The whole family arrived this week, place is bursting at the seams but I suppose that's Christmas right? :) Thanks to everyone for the feedback on the Lawless fanfic, much appreciated and don't worry I won't stop updating this even if I do start a Lawless one, I love it too much :D So thanks everyone for reading and reviewing, love you all! xoxo

-Sailor

It felt like fireworks were exploding in my brain, my pupils dilated and I suddenly felt like I could do anything. I paced around the room mumbling random sentences that came into my head. My mind felt totally free all the shit that has been going on just disappeared. Freddie grabbed my shoulders sitting me down on the couch beside him.

"Freddie I can totally see why you take this stuff" I said exhaling a huge breath.

"Yea but…"

"Oh click!" I said pulling on an imaginary switch about my head. "Let's go out!"

"What? Where?"

"I don't know, anywhere!" I said my eyes widening as I sat up.

"No I don't think we should…I think you should stay here" he slurred.

"Why? C'mon Freddie!" I said getting up dragging him with me.

He looked at me and then nodded fumbling for his keys.

We fell into a taxi downstairs and Freddie mumbled something to the driver. The street lights whizzed past the windows mesmerising me in my drug riddled state.

"It's so hypnotic…" I whispered.

Freddie unclipped his seatbelt and scooted over towards me. He kissed my neck and the cold tip of his nose hit me like a bullet. I didn't move my head but just ran my fingers through his hair. Every sensation was heightened so you could imagine how amazing Freddie's lips felt on the soft flesh of my neck before he bit down lightly.

"We're here" said the driver interrupting us. Freddie threw him the money and started to pull me out of the car slowly.

"C'mon we're here…"

I walked behind him into this dingy little pub. It reeked of cigar smoke and disgusting brown ale fumes.

"Freddie man! You're back, you only left a while ago" laughed the barman. "Who's the kid?"

"This is Alyson, just get her a vodka and diet coke and I'll have a whiskey"

I slumped into the booth while Freddie chatted with the barman. He brought back the drinks and I looked around looking at the old men staring at me while Freddie turned to sit looking at me.

"Is this where you hang out a lot?"

"Yea, this is the local"

"Could we not have gone somewhere else?"

"Like where?" he said taking a gulp of his whiskey.

"Like the vortex" I smiled.

"I only go there for work babe" he sniffed lighting a cigarette.

I sucked the vodka up through the straw feeling it burn the back of my throat but it didn't stop me.

"Do you want another?" he said watching as I slurped the last few drops.

"Yes please" I giggled.

He gestured to the barman and another drink was immediately brought over to the table. I took another big sip turning to Freddie. I wrapped my arm around his neck falling into him.

"Freddie…how come we didn't hang around together when we were younger?"

"Your Ma made sure I was kept at a distance" he said blowing smoke rings before laughing wickedly to himself. "But it didn't seem to matter did it, all her efforts" he said leaning in and kissing me, his smoky breath making me cough lightly.

"And then you were in prison"

"That's right, but don't worry I don't intend to be going back there anytime soon" he smiled malevolently.

I smiled as well pulling him down towards me and kissing him. I heard the door open behind us and people step in but I didn't want to let him go. I was getting that twitch in my stomach, I began to realise we should leave now and go back to his place before I start to sober up.

"Freddie you fackin wanker!" I heard someone shriek.

He pulled away from me and I open my eyes seeing Jackie standing there, all dolled up but still looking like a mess. Before I got a chance to get my cloudy and blurred thoughts together she had dragged me up by my hair reefing me out of the booth. Jimmy and Maggie stood behind her obviously not going to stop her going to town on me.

"You slat! You're still hangin' around him!" she screamed as I wriggled from the grip she had on my hair.

"Jackie…why don't you just go and fuck yourself" I laughed throwing my hair back and stumbling back slightly.

"What did you say to me?"

"You know what you're right I am fucking Freddie and in your bed…AND he's unreal!" I purred getting right in her face. Before what I had just said registered with me I was met with her fist boxing me in the eye.

"And no wonder he wants me because look at you! I suppose having a load of nippers popping out of you will put years on you and being a fall down drunk and general waste of space wouldn't help!"

I looked over at Freddie who was trying to hide his laughter. I can understand why; looking back it certainly wasn't like me at all. Then she boxed me again, this time in the nose. I fell back on my arse, my whole brain rattled, sobering me up very quickly. I pulled myself up a bit, the vision in my right eye going blurry and my nose beginning to ache. And yet, I wasn't giving up. Freddie helped me to my feet, as I still continued to laugh.

"Is that all you got slut?" I said wiping my nose.

"Why don't you get your own fackin man?!"

"Nah I'm having far too much fun with yours!" I yelled bringing my fist back and punching her hard in the eye. She's obviously used to it a lot more than I was because she regained herself pretty quickly and jumped on me landing punches into my face.

"Jackie, fackin' stop!" I heard Freddie scream pulling her off me.

When they eventually lifted her off me, I felt my whole face had blown up at least three times its normal size and yet all I could do was laugh. Then something in my mind snapped and I jumped on top of her laying into her with my fists. She leaned up slightly head-butting me causing me to fall back.

"Freddie, what the fack are you doin'?" I heard Jimmy yell as Freddie helped me up. "Get her the fack out of here!"

"This isn't over you whore!" Jackie screamed.

Freddie brought me out the back door as blood dripped down my face.

"Jesus Alyson…where did that come from?" laughed Freddie. "I'm sure they don't teach nothin' like that in that college of yours"

"It's coz I love you Freddie" I laughed stumbling against him.

"And I love you too" he laughed.

We eventually got a taxi and Freddie suggested that I should spend the night at his place so he could fix my face up a bit.

We helped each other up the concrete stairs and staggered into his house. I was a bit more sober than Freddie but my footing still wasn't fully back. He sat me down on the couch and fetched a towel wetting it under the tap. He came over beside me and dabbed my face.

"You're gonna have a lot of bruising kid"

"It's ok" I giggled.

"I'm sure your aunty won't say that" he burped continuing to wipe away the blood. "I can't believe you had that in you"

"I know, if she hadn't of head-butted me I would have had her"

I saw Freddie's eyes water slightly as he laughed. He reached down and kissed my hand.

"C'mon, we'll get you into bed" he said helping me up from the couch. We walked into the little bedroom and I fell onto the bed with Freddie beside me.

"Babe…" I heard him whisper just as my eyes were drooping over.

"What?"

"I do care about you"

"I know you do Freddie"

"No, like really" he sniffed.

"I know Freddie"

"No…like…I can't explain it" he sighed and I watched his eyes close over. I closed my eyes, the pain starting to hit me slowly from the cuts and bruises on my face.

The next morning, everything looked so different. I woke up with Freddie's body draped across my own, his eyes red and puffy and a familiar redness just under his nose. I moved slightly and pushed his body lightly off mine. He flipped onto his back, a tear streaming from the corner of his closed eye. I staggered into the bathroom and checked out the damage. Needless to say, I looked fucking awful. My face was pale and sickly, both my eyes were bruised black and purple and she had obviously burst a blood vessel in my right one because a large smear of red ran over the white of my eye. My nose was bruised and cut and I had a large cut over my cheek. Also to make things worse, my upper lip and nose had the same redness that I've grown to just accept on Freddie. I heard Freddie stir from the bedroom and I immediately locked the bathroom door, sliding down it and burst into tears.