14

What If

The Hugo incident was forgotten within a day by Lombard and Evelyn, but it took Vera about another day before leaving it behind her and focusing on her newfound feelings for Lombard. As the weeks went by, Lombard and Vera continued to go out together more and more. They'd watch movies, go see plays, take walks in park (with caution on both their parts out of fear of running into Jennifer or Hugo), and go out dining, all of which would end with a goodnight kiss before going to their separate beds.

After about two weeks of this, Lombard and Vera went out for a walk around town one night. It was a beautiful night out; the sky was painted with stars, the air had a slight breeze to it, and the coloured leaves made themselves present on the ground.

"It's so beautiful out," remarked Vera. "It makes the world seem a better place. You'd never think there was a war going on."

"Oh, let's not talk about that," said Lombard, linking his arm with Vera's. "Not even Hitler could ruin this beautiful night, so don't give him the pleasure of doing so."

There was a bench just up ahead. The two walked up to it and sat down. For a moment, neither of them spoke. They just sat and observed the street ahead of them. They observed the people walking by. There was an old lady walking across the street whose groceries were being carried by a nice young man. There was a storekeeper shutting up his shop for the night and talking with a friend of his.

And there was a couple walking down the streets, hands linked.

This prompted Vera to snuggle up next to Lombard and place her head on his shoulder. Lombard gently pulled Vera closer to him and wrapped one arm around her shoulders. No words needed to be said; they'd just look up occasionally and smile before looking out at the street some more.

Lombard and Vera noticed another couple passing by...but this couple was pushing a baby carriage. The father kept making funny faces at the baby, who was gurgling with laughter, and the mother would smile and point out certain objects and name them.

This site prompted Lombard and Vera to have two different flashbacks. Vera thought back to the last time she and Hugo had ever kissed...

It was warm night, but not too warm. It was a cool night, but not too cool. It was just right. It was the perfect weather for Vera and Hugo to take a stroll down to the beach, as they had every single night. So far, there had been no rainstorms, which Vera took as a sign from up above that this was meant to be.

Vera closed her eyes and inhaled the salty sea air before exhaling and opening her eyes to look up and smile at Hugo. "It's beautiful out tonight."

"Yes," said Hugo as he and Vera sat down in the sand. "It is." He turned to Vera and wrapped his arms around her. Then, he softly pressed his lips against hers. They closed their eyes and the kissing slowly grew firmer. Vera wrapped her arms around Hugo and allowed him to gently dip her in the sand.

Those were the first few steps that they had done several times. Normally, they didn't go much further than that; they'd just continue to make out until one or the other eventually separated. This time, however, Vera could feel Hugo's hands move towards the buttons on her blouse. She felt his nimble fingers slowly undo each button until he could safely pull it off her shoulders and halfway down her arms.

A sudden hunger within Vera was beginning to rise. This hunger was telling her, "Yes, let him do this, don't stop." And she would've succumbed to this hunger had a peculiar memory not surfaced in her mind: She and her cousin Fleta at sixteen sitting at the dinner table...Fleta foolishly giving herself away via slip of the tongue...her father's words "I knew it! I knew this would happen! I tried to tell your father, but he refused to listen! How could you let this happen to yourself? How could you disgrace the family like this?"...her mother explaining her cousin's fate to her the next morning: "Your father has sent Fleta off to a convent..."

"Vera?"

This was when Vera realized Hugo had stopped kissing her and that her blouse was not completely off; it was still halfway down her arms, but low enough to expose her bra.

"What's wrong?" asked Hugo.

Vera bit her lip. She wanted this; she really did. She was in love with Hugo and was ready to give her virginity to him. And yet, her cousin's fate refused to leave her mind. Oh sure, she was an adult now; she'd be perfectly capable of raising a child moreso than a teenager would...but would her father listen to that? Her father looked as though he was ready to kill Fleta when she blurted out the news; her mind wouldn't allow her to think of how her father might react if Vera herself got pregnant out of wedlock. After all, Fleta was only his niece; Vera was his daughter.

Then again, she had Hugo. Hugo would still love her, she was sure of that; he'd be there for her no matter what.

Then she remembered of one of the reasons why Cyril would die in just two days; Hugo barely had enough money to support himself, let alone a child. How could he support her if she got pregnant?

"Hugo..." said Vera slowly. "What would we do if I got pregnant?"

Hugo looked slightly taken aback. "Well, I'd marry you, I suppose," he said. Then he sighed, "That's right; I don't have any money. I see your point."

Vera sat up and pulled her blouse up back over her shoulders and buttoned it up.

"I'm sorry," apologized Hugo. "It completely slipped my mind. I got caught up in the heat of the moment and..."

"It's all right," assured Vera. "I nearly did, too."

"Well, it's something to look forward to when I come into a fortune and can marry you, I suppose," shrugged Hugo as he and Vera got up.

Vera held back a smile. "Yes," she said. "Indeed, I shall be looking very forward to it..."

Vera sighed. Had she made the right decision? It had been her one chance to make love to Hugo...a chance that would never come again. But deep down, she knew she had done what was right; she would've crumbled from the emotional stress of it all and possibly miscarried or given birth to a stillborn, which would've brought upon more misery than she was already going through at that time.

While Vera was thinking about the last time she and Hugo had done anything passionate, Lombard was thinking of the time he had blown a major chance to be with the woman he loved...

"So, is Jennifer still sick?" asked Morley as he and Lombard took a morning stroll down the street.

"Yes, unfortunately," sighed Lombard. "She went to see a doctor yesterday. She said she had to go through some tests, and that the results should be back by this morning. As a matter of fact, she left almost an hour ago to see a doctor."

Morley hesitated slightly before saying, "Lombard, would you still want to continue to see the world if I told you I might stop coming with you?"

"What?" asked Lombard, stopping to lean against a building. "Does this have anything to do with those damn natives? I've told you already, Morley, they're just natives, and natives don't mind dying. They look upon it as an honour, unlike Europeans."

"That's part of it," said Morley slowly. "I don't care what you say, Lombard; a life is a life no matter what. But the main reason why is because...because I want to find the woman of my dreams, marry her, and become a father."

Lombard raised his eyebrows. "That's it?" he said. "You want to exchange a life of thrills for a life of diapers?"

"I knew you would react this way," sighed Morley. "But don't laugh now, Lombard, because someday, you might change your mind."

Lombard smirked. He was becoming more and more convinced that this hazardous career was having an effect on his friend's sanity. He himself failed to find the appeal in changing diapers and wiping snotty noses and giving up a few minutes of peace and quiet in exchange for someone pestering him every five minutes about a bedtime story. "You think I might change my mind?"

"Of course," said Morley. "Isn't there even a small part of you that wants to hold a child in your arms? To watch with pride as they win contests? To be able to say, 'that's my boy'? Or to just be a father?"

"Me? A father?" Lombard laughed. "You're joking, right? Haven't I already made it clear that I never want to be a father? It may be a lifestyle for some men, Morley, but it just isn't for me. The last thing I want is to be tied down for the rest of my life by some snivelling brat. Why else do you think I always use a condom?"

"I don't know, Phil," said Morley cautiously. "You might eventually tire of your risky life and decide to settle down and have a few kids."

To that, Lombard laughed and said, "Oh, Morley, you really know how to make a man laugh." He looked both directions before saying, "Just between you and me for now, I don't wish to be a father, but I do wish to be a husband. Specifically speaking, Jennifer Hayes' husband."

Morley raised his eyebrows. "You mean..."

"That's right, Morley," said Lombard, standing upright. "The next time I see Jennifer, I'm asking her to marry me."

"Are you sure?" asked Morey. "How do you know you and Jennifer won't have an 'accident' during your marriage? Would you still want to be with her then?"

Lombard looked Morley in the eye and said, "Morley, I'd be happy with Jennifer if we were living in the streets and had ten brats we couldn't afford to care for. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go buy a ring."

Lombard willed himself very hard not to think of what had happened by the time he arrived home in the evening. By then, Jennifer was pacing back and forth in the living room, as though waiting for him, and before he had a chance to pop the question, she broke it off without even the slightest explanation why.

Why hadn't he realized it was because of what Jennifer had heard him say—or more specifically, the first half of what she had heard him say? Had she stuck around to hear the entire conversation, would she still have wanted to be with him? Or would she have broken it off anyway? Was it one of those things that just was not meant to be?

"Philip," said Vera suddenly. She lifted her head off of Lombard's shoulder and asked, "If we had a baby, do you think we would have a son or a daughter?"

"Well...I don't know," shrugged Lombard. "Perhaps a daughter. I'd like a son, though. Girls are usually into dainty things and I wouldn't be too good at the feminine things in life."

"That's why girls have mothers," said Vera in a matter-of-fact voice. "Who do you suppose the baby would resemble?"

"It might resemble a bit of you," mused Lombard. "It might have your hair or eyes, but it would most likely have my face, though, or at least my smile. They would for sure inherit the Lombard smile."

The pondering looks on their faces fell when they suddenly realized what they were talking about.

"Wait, what are we saying?" said Vera quickly. "Why are we talking about having a baby? We've only been dating a few weeks; we can't picture our children already! After all, we don't know for certain if our relationship is going to get to...that stage."

"You are absolutely right, my dear," was what Lombard said out loud before he and Vera got up and walked back to Evelyn's house, but inside, he thought, But wishful thinking never hurt anyone.