The End Of Forever

Chapter 14

After hours of watching Tyler and re injecting him with darts of wolfsbane, Jeremy was ready to pass out.

He'd been driving around the United States for weeks, but he couldn't let the others know that, not yet at least. He'd been lucky that he was so close to Virginia when he'd gotten the message from Elena about the wedding, though he'd been in a crappy cell reception area and hadn't gotten service until he reached a town. And when his phone didn't have service it didn't like to alert him of any missed calls or any new messages. It had been pure dumb luck that he'd accidentally pressed the voicemail button when he was looking for directions and her voice had come out of the Bluetooth speakers of the car.

He really needed to talk to Damon about getting a better cell phone plan. Maybe he could convince him to get a satellite phone.

Jeremy had a feeling though, that it was a conversation that should be left for a better time.

He shuddered to think about what would have happened if he hadn't gotten that message and hadn't come right away.

As he sat on the floor opposite the reinforced door to one of the Salvatore's many cells, he let his head fall back against the hard stone wall. Stefan and Enzo were standing on each side of the door, playing bodyguard, each with their arms crossed over their chests. Jeremy watched them curiously. They weren't fighting. They weren't saying much of anything but every once in a while, Jeremy would catch them sending a weird look each other's way.

He wondered what that was all about.

But he was too tired to ask. He knew little of what had been going on before he left. Matt had told him Enzo was up to no good, as usual, and that he was messing with everyone, especially Stefan. But there didn't seem to be any ill will toward him right now.

Which he was eternally grateful for.

Seeing that Jeremy was dozing off, Stefan checked his watch. "Jer, you should go upstairs and get a little sleep at least." He said softly.

Deciding the vampire was right and that they could both handle things if Tyler was to wake up again, Jeremy nodded and stood up, stretching the kinks out of his neck and back. He handed over the dart gun and patted Stefan on the shoulder, not saying a word. Sending a quick nod over to Enzo, he started up the stairs.

"I think I heard Bonnie go into the room across from Damon's if you wanted to go join her." Stefan called up to him.

Jeremy said a quick thank you as he reached the main floor. The house was eerily silent after all the commotion earlier and it made him feel uncomfortable to raise his voice. He wandered up the main stairs toward Damon's room and considered checking in on his brother-in-law to be, but quickly changed his mind. If he was awake, he wouldn't be interested in seeing him.

Standing outside Bonnie's door, he was conflicted. She obviously didn't want to see him or talk to him, otherwise she wouldn't have left him that ridiculous message when she finally made it back from the dead. He'd called her back several times after she left it and she'd sent each one of his calls straight to voicemail.

But he really needed to see her right now, so he took a deep breath and tried to open the door as quietly as possible.

Sure, he'd seen her earlier, in her pretty dress covered in his sister's and Damon's blood, tears rolling down her face. But there wasn't really time to SEE her. To talk to her.

The sun was beginning to rise and peak through the curtains on the far side of the room. He could see Bonnie curled up tight under the covers and could only make out some of her hair that poked out from the top. She didn't used to sleep that way, all curled in on herself. Thinking back on the times they'd spent sharing the same bed, he always remembered that she took up most of it, sprawled out and almost kicking him out of it.

He missed sharing a bed with her.

As Jeremy made his way over to the bed and sat softly on the mattress next to her, trying not to wake her, he wondered if that was something that had started when she was locked away in another time. He glanced around the room, looking at anything but her. He'd stayed in it a few times, back when they'd been a happy little family, in the few summer months of peace that they had together. He'd quickly picked a different room as far away from Damon and Elena as possible.

There were just some things that a little brother should NOT hear.

There had been a little dust back then, as the room hadn't been used in a while. But now, he noticed, the comforter smelled like it was freshly washed and all the furniture had been nicely polished.

Jeremy knew without a doubt, that Damon had taken the time to clean it. He pictured him staying up at night in the house, all alone, back from the dead and without Elena having any memory of him, and cleaning.

He knew it must have meant that this was Bonnie's room, when they were trapped together. And that he'd been cleaning it, thinking about her still stuck there. Maybe hoping one day that she would be back to use it.

Lost in thought, he almost didn't notice that the comforter had dropped a little and Bonnie's eyes stared up at him. "Hi." She said, her lips twisting up into a small smile.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. I just wanted to see for myself that you were okay." He said, running his hands through his hair nervously. Now that she was awake, and they were alone, he didn't know what else to say to her.

Bonnie shifted in the bed and picked up the blanket, urging him without words, to get under the covers with her. Jeremy kicked off his boots and slid in, not touching her.

"I wasn't really asleep, too much on my mind." Bonnie admitted.

Reaching over, she took his hand in her own and laced their fingers together. "I'm okay though. How are you doing?"

That was a loaded question, he thought.

"Okay?" Jeremy shrugged.

Bonnie tilted her head and looked at him disbelievingly. "You want to try again?"

Leaning his weight onto the pillows, he stroked the back of her hand with his thumb absentmindedly. "I'm not sure. My sister is dead. Maybe. But we've seen people die and come back so many times, that I think I may be a little desensitized. There's nothing that Damon won't do to get her back. So I just have a feeling like everything is going to be okay." He glanced down at her. "Does that make any sense at all?"

Bonnie laughed softly. "It makes perfect sense. Between all of us, I've lost count how many times we've all come back from the dead. I think you have us all beat though, honestly." She stared down at their joined hands. "I was telling Damon earlier, that I don't think she's dead. I really don't. I'll do anything to get her back too. You know that right?"

"Unfortunately, I do know that." Jeremy said with a grimace. "You've got to make sure you don't go dying again in the process though. Please no more of the trading your life for other's bullshit, we can get past that, can't we?"

Bonnie winced. "I can't promise that. It's not who I am."

Jeremy was tired before, but now he was wide awake. "I don't understand why you feel the need to go sacrificing yourself every damn time."

"Jeremy, I just want everyone to be happy! You need your sister, Damon needs Elena.-"

"Why don't you actually ask me for once, what and who I need, instead of making assumptions Bonnie?" Jeremy shouted, not caring if any of the vampires in the house heard. "You've never given any actual thought into asking me that before have you?" When Bonnie clearly had no answer for him, he continued. "I need YOU. That's the bottom line. I trust Damon to do whatever he can to get Elena back and he WILL, so why don't you stay out of it this time and don't put yourself at risk?"

"Would it be SO horrible for you to think about your own happiness, just once?" Even though he could see the tears well up in her eyes, he kept going, hoping to somehow get through to her. "Unless, of course, you don't give a shit that some people don't really want to live without you? Are you so blind to the fact that we love you too and that your life as just as important as the rest of ours?"

"Stop Jeremy…" Bonnie begged, pushing herself out of the bed and toward the window.

"What? You don't want to tell me the truth?" He stopped himself from following her, but wasn't completely immune to the fact that she was only wearing a t-shirt and a pair of boy shorts. God, was he a pervert or what? Sure it had been a while, but he couldn't take his eyes off of her. Here he was trying to have a serious conversation with her, even though it wasn't exactly planned, and all he could do was stare at her beautiful long legs.

Bonnie sighed, watching the sun rise over the trees on the far side of the property. It looked like it was going to be another beautiful day. She knew she shouldn't take any nice days for granted, but right now, with everything going on, she couldn't appreciate it at all.

"I just want you and Elena to be happy. You've both been through so much." She whispered softly, rubbing the tears from her face with the back of her hand.

Jeremy groaned, he clearly wasn't getting through to her. It was the same old song and dance, it's not like they hadn't fought about it before in the past, when they'd first started dating. Hell, even before they'd started dating, it was something they fought about. "But why should that cost you your own? I'm sorry, but I just don't understand. You've lost just as much as we have in all of this."

It took a long time for her to answer.

"You know… a long time ago, Elena and I were at a party. And… I saw something, when I touched her."

Rolling his eyes, Jeremy sat up in the bed. "Yeah, a crow. Elena told me. She thought it was adorable when she realized that it was Damon you were seeing and thought that they were meant to be."

Bonnie shook her head and turned around. "No. It was before long before that."

"Elena had gotten into a fight with Matt and I was trying to be a good friend, but I was really drunk so I wasn't much help. She was about to call your parents to come and pick her up and I grabbed a hold of her arm to steady myself and the only thing that ran through my head was 'Elena, don't go to the bridge. It's Death Elena. You're death is waiting there.' It kept running through my head over and over and over, and I thought I was going crazy. I never said it out loud though. She helped me over to a tree stump, made sure that I had a ride home and said she was leaving and I just never said anything!" Now the tears were falling and there was no way she could stop them. "Don't you SEE Jeremy? If I had just said something, you WOULDN'T have lost so much that night. It's all my fault. You're parents were like my own, they took care of me when my father was out of town, they cared for me like I was their own daughter... and I could have stopped them from dying."

Jeremy stood from the bed, finally calm and approached Bonnie. "This whole time you've been trying to make up for something that was in no way your fault?" Bonnie only looked up at him tearfully. She didn't need to confirm it, he already understood. He lifted his hand to wipe away some of her tears. "You know, Elena dealt with a lot of survivor's guilt after that. I may have been high and stupid most of the time, but I did notice. I think that's why she also had a death wish, she always thought she was living on borrowed time." He said thoughtfully. "I wish you'd mentioned something earlier."

"I felt too horrible about it. I could have saved your parents Jer, and I did nothing."

Jeremy shook his head. "No. Listen, there are several things wrong here. First off, if you had said something that night… she would have gone anyway. We didn't know anything about the supernatural then. You didn't know you were a witch. Your grams only told you about it the summer after. So there's no reason you should have said anything. Elena would have thought you were just crazy drunk and needed some sleep. Plus, you were right, Elena's death WAS waiting for her on that bridge… but not that night. You can't go blaming yourself for something you couldn't have stopped."

He pulled her over to the bed and onto his lap, gathering her up in his arms. "I'm only going to say this once, so please listen to me." He said, stroking her hair back behind her ear. "If my parents hadn't died that night, they would have died another night. They were a part of the council, they would have been caught up in everything too. Just like John and Isobel. Just like Jenna and the dozens more that died. I'm almost glad they died a normal death, before all this garbage started happening. Trust me, drowning isn't the best way to go, but I would prefer to know they died that way instead of being tortured by one of our many enemies." He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "So please, stop blaming yourself and start to live your life for you. I just hope that I can be included in that."

Bonnie tearfully smiled up at him. "Okay." She reached up and pulled his face down so their lips met.

Jeremy snapped his head back quickly and at Bonnie's confused face he started laughing. "I'm sorry. I just want to make sure… are you POSITIVE that Elena's not in there somewhere? Because.. that would be strange and she'd never let me live it down."

Bonnie's cheeks turned pink. "Yes, I'm SURE. You're disgusting." She smacked him on the shoulder lightly. "Jeremy, just kiss me."

"Gladly."

So, now we have Bonnie's crazy reason for always sacrificing herself.

I'm so excited... my best friend, husband and I are going on one last East Coast road trip (As we'll be moving across country in Feb) and where are we going? The great Mystic Falls. I've been there twice a few years ago, before they actually had Mystic Grill, so obviously I have to head on back there and actually eat in the joint right? We're also going to do The Vampire Diaries tour and The Originals' tour. My husband tried to get me to agree that he could stay in the grill and day drink while I went on the tour, but that's not happening. I've already told him that he has to kiss me in front of the Gilbert house and in the Delena rain kiss spot, sucks for him! LOL Then we're heading down to Florida for Halloween Horror Nights. I just wish it was October already!

My other friend made me promise not to yell or throw things at the cast if they are filming.

He's no fun.

Have any of you readers ever gone there and done the tours?