Alucard Discovers Pop Rock Candy

A Hellsing Fanfic

Sapphirewyren

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing (if I did, there'd be waaaay more Integra)

Author's Notes: Well here it is, the moment you've all been waiting for….or annoying me for…no, it was definitely waiting for, I never find my readers annoying…..Alucard vs Pop Rock Candy! This is for AnimeGirl4891 and Sarah Rose 29. Enjoy!

You know when you have those days when you just don't want to get out of bed? Well that was how Integra was feeling. She knew that Alucard was going to do something that would really annoy her. After that Ikea fiasco, she was short on patience and had taken it out on the staff and the members of the Round Table. (They were another kind of annoying). Integra decided that she would stay in bed, Alucard can't get into trouble if she doesn't know about it, right? WRONG! So, Integra dragged herself out of bed, and prepared for the worse. Instead of going to her office, she went to the living room couch and flopped down onto it. When Walter found her, with a confounded look on his face he asked; "Sir, what are you doing here?"

"I'm waiting for Alucard to do something stupid, what's it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you're trying to go through the entire wine cellar while mindlessly flipping through channels on the television."

Meanwhile in the basement, Alucard was slouched in his coffin, bored out of his undead brain. Walter had bought him some books from the library to read, but he didn't feel like reading. He was pretty sure his master was still mad at him for his shopping spree at Ikea and she made that perfectly clear by screaming every curse she knew in the English language and then tossing some Italian, Spanish and French ones in there when she ran out. He sighed, what was he to do? Then he heard giggling coming from Seras' room. How she managed to entertain herself Alucard had no clue. But right now she found something very funny and that made him curious. He went to her room to inquire and when she saw him, Seras held out a black plastic package with colorful writing on it. "What is this, Police Girl?"

"It's called Poprocks, master and it fizzes in your mouth." The draculina shoved a handful of the colorful rock looking candy in her mouth. Alucard could hear the candy fizzing and crackling in her mouth. He tried a handful and felt the tingling sensation in his mouth and he liked it. "It's even better when you drink soda with them" giggled Seras. But since Alucard didn't want another soda addiction situation, he declined. "I accidently bought a whole bunch of them" said Seras opening her closet and revealing more than 3 dozen large boxes of the candy. "But it's so great, so I'm happy."

Later that morning, Alucard did want to see what it was like when you mix Poprocks and soda, though. It would probably be awesome. So, sneaking into Seras room, when she left, he took three boxes of the candy. Each box had 500 packs in them. He went to one of the guest bathrooms after retrieving 6 2 liter pepsi bottles. He then emptied all the candy into the bathtub and then emptied the bottles into the tub as well. The effect was well crazy….and magnified, the crackling could be heard throughout the hallway. The Poprocks overflowed out the tub and spilled onto the floor and out under the door. One of the maids seeing this of course went to tell Integra.

"What do you mean by 'brownish blue liquid!?"

"I think the toilet may be over flowing, Sir."

She knew it! Integra stormed to the bathroom, took out her Beretta and shot the door knob off the door and kicked it open. Taking in her surroundings, she saw a sheepish looking Alucard kneeling in the liquefied candy, trying to cleaning it up with the towels.

"AAAAAALLLLLLUUUUUUUCCCCCCCAAAAARRRRRRDDDDDDD!"

Chapter End

Author's Note: Well there you go. I did NOT try this, so if actually done, the results may be different, though I strongly advise against it. The candy might gunk up your pipes. Why Seras has that much candy and Integra not know about it, is beyond me. But I hope you guys enjoyed. And now for good news, I will be posting the first chapter of my series Diary of a Hellsing Butler soon. Entries of Walter's diary, so you have that to look forward to. And if you have any more requests for what Alucard should discover, let me know in the comments or by PM. Ok you know what to do. See you in the next chapter!