After everyone had left the hospital, leaving the Weasley's and Fleur to care for Bill. Remus exited quickly and Tonks ran to catch up to him. She pulled his robes and forced him into another corridor where they could speak privately.
"Tonks," Remus said breaking free from her grasp. "Now is not the time."
"Now is the only time," Tonks said grabbing his wrist making sure he didn't bail on her. She didn't know what she was going to say. She had spent months pleading with him and trying to convince him that being together was what was best for both of them. "You heard McGonagall. Dumbledore would want us to be happy. You have to stop thinking about—"
"Not here," Remus told her removing her hand from his wrist. "We can't talk about this here. It's not appropriate."
Remus turned and walked away leaving Tonks standing there staring at him as he left her again. All Tonks wanted to do was go home. Back to her cottage in Hogsmeade. She couldn't stand being in Hogwarts any longer. But as she walked out of the school she saw them bringing in Dumbledore's lifeless body. She moved quickly to her cottage. Leaving behind so much heartbreak.
It had been a few hours after the school had been cleared out and everyone had been sent home. Tonks was still wide awake staring at the fire she had lit. She had made herself a pot of tea, without magic. She couldn't get herself to use magic. It was rare that she didn't use magic to do even the smallest things. Actually it had never happened before. She had never felt so heartbroken and tired to not use magic.
Tonks had been resting her eyes and was almost asleep when she heard a loud knock at her door. She groaned as she stood to see who was calling on her at such a late hour. She took a quick look outside the window and saw Remus standing there. He was looking around very nervously. Another knock.
Tonks opened the door slightly. "What do you want, Remus," she asked not letting him into the house.
"Can I talk to you," Remus asked hoping she would let him into the small cottage. "This is very important."
The tone of his voice was so professional that Tonks thought it must have something to do with The Order. Remus walked around for several minutes before he settled standing in front of the fireplace.
"What is it, Remus," she asked him not moving from in front of the door. "I heard you," Tonks said. "I'm done. It's time to move on."
Remus stood there staring at this woman. This woman that he loved more than he could express. He had thought about a lot in the past few hours. About Fleur and Bill. How Bill would most likely have wolf-like characteristics and the slashes on his face. How Fleur was so upset when Molly implied she wouldn't want to marry Bill anymore. How she kept saying how much she loved Bill. It reminded him so much of the woman in front of him. How she was constantly telling him how she felt. That she didn't care. He still believed that she deserved someone young and whole. Someone who could give her what she deserved. But he couldn't get past his feelings for her. There had been weeks when all he wanted was to be back in that parlor reading with her curled into his side. He thought about the kisses they had shared before he had ended their brief relationship.
He continued to stand there looking at her. She looked angry. Like she wasn't pleased to see him. He took a step closer to her. She didn't move. Her arms were crossed and she was standing like a rock.
Finally Remus walked up to her. He was standing so close he could feel her breath. He reached out to take her hand, but she wouldn't budge. He did love how stubborn she was. It was one of the things that he loved most about her. She fought until she got what she wanted.
Tonks looked up at him briefly. He had a rather cheeky look in his eye. Before she could speak. Before she could walk away and tell him that he had missed his chance she felt his lips on hers. Her body relaxed into his immediately. His hands cupped her face pulling her close to him. Her hands found his waist and gripped tightly to his robes hoping this wasn't a dream.
After a minute Remus pulled away from her. Tonks held her grip on his robes not wanting to let him walk too far from her.
"Why," she asked in the low voice.
Remus smiled and took her hand. He pulled her over to the sofa and sat down. With only one tug of her arm she sat down next to him. He didn't look at her. He couldn't while he confessed why is was there.
"Dora," he said softly. "I know you are incredibly angry at me. I'm very shocked you allowed me into your home. When I left you in that corridor I believed you may never speak to me in a personal manner again. That was fine with me. As long as it kept you from me." He heard Tonks scoff and he chuckled at her. "But then I walked back past the hospital wing and saw Fleur combing Bill's hair with her fingers. I thought about how much she loves him and how we could be very close to the end.
I've been a fool, Dora. I…" his voice trailed off. He had thought the words he was going to say to her, but now, sitting there looking at her, he couldn't find them. His mind was sending so many mixed messages. To tell her he loved her and he wanted to be with her or to take everything back and walk out leaving her to hate him for the rest of her, hopefully long, life.
Tonks saw the struggle on his face and smiled. She knew that this conversation was going to go in a much different direction than the others they had. It may even end up with her getting everything that she wanted. She reached up and cupped his face with her hand. Making him look at her. "Why is this time different?"
Remus thought for a moment. Why was this time different? Would he eventually change his mind and walk away from her? But maybe once he had his life with her he would realize he couldn't just walk away. This time was different. He had been struck with mortality. And he was finally honest with himself. He had lived so much of his life with people leaving because of what he was. He assumed Tonks would do the same thing to him. Break his heart. And in that he broke hers. But for some reason she was still allowing him in her life. She was still loving him. He finally realized that she wasn't going anywhere. She was always going to be right there with him.
"I love you," he said. "It's not different. I always have, but something about today. If Dumbledore could easily be killed then so could we. We could be and it would be even easier for them to do. I guess I realized my own mortality today. Why spend, what could be a very short, rest of my life miserable and alone? When I could be spending it with you?"
Tonks didn't say anything at first. She didn't know what to say. He had told her exactly what she wanted to hear. Told her that he wanted to be with her and yet she wasn't falling into his arms.
"What happens when you are trying to be noble and keep me safe again," she asked him in a harsh tone.
"You smack me," he chuckled. "Keep my head in the right place. I know that it could be challenging for both of us. I know I'm not the easiest person to be around. I pity myself and hurt you on a regular basis," he admitted. "But I'm trying to get better about it. I want to. For you."
Tonks still wasn't completely convinced with his words. But it was her head that was throwing contradicting voices at her. She wanted to throw herself into his arms and never let go of him, but there was this voice saying it wouldn't last.
But she had been waiting over a year for this moment. For Remus to be ready. She stopped herself from overthinking this moment. Remus was right. They were both facing their own mortality and they needed to stop overthinking all of it. They needed to look at what was directly in front of them.
Remus smiled at her. A smile that she wasn't used to seeing. A smile that she loved more than anything. It meant that he wasn't thinking. It wasn't trying to convince himself to go back on what he had said. He was living right there. It made her smile and her thoughts stopped. All she could do was move forward and kiss him. That's all her body was allowing.
So she did. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer to him. Remus was half smiling within the kiss. His arms snaked around her waist and pulled herself flush against his body. They stayed that way for several minutes. They didn't want to let go of each other. Remus didn't think he would be able to.
The two had kissed before. They had even been in this position before, but this was different. This time felt like it was real. It was forever, or at least for as long as they had together.
Finally Tonks pulled away from him. She looked into his eyes and knew. Knew it was different.
"I love you," she said to him. She saw Remus smile and then start to laugh. He ran his fingers through her hair. She noticed something as he played with her hair. It was pink again. Bright bubblegum pink. "I can morph again," she said giddily and pressed her lips to Remus' once again. She had known that her inability to morph had to have been tied to her feelings surrounding Remus, but wasn't completely sure. It had never happened before. Andromeda hadn't even known what could have been causing it.
This time Remus pulled away and saw her eyes slowly changing to violet. His favorite look on her. The look she had when she was happy.
"Will you…" Tonks started, "will you stay here with me tonight?"
Remus brushed her hair away from her face and stroked his thumb across her cheek. He pulled her head down and kissed her forehead. Instead of bringing her in to kiss her again he pulled her into his body to just hold her. To have her safe in his arms knowing that this time he won't have to let go.
That night Tonks lay wrapped in Remus' arms in her bed. Her head rested perfectly on his chest and his arm lay still around her waist. Remus didn't sleep much that night. He was on high alert making sure that she was safe. Tonks; however, slept soundly and barely moved the entire night.
Every wind gust or howl from the forest made Remus want to jump and grab his wand. Death Eaters were ready to attack as was he, if he needed to. To defend the woman sleeping there. Her pink hair covering her face.
The sun started to rise outside of the window and Tonks slowly woke up and gripped Remus tighter. She was shocked that the previous night wasn't a dream. She was lying there with Remus and he hadn't tried to leave in the middle of the night. She smiled into his chest and kissed him. Remus groaned and pulled her closer to him. They were both in such a state of bliss they had almost forgotten the tragedy that had struck just hours prior.
Dumbledore was dead. Bill Weasley was now carrying some sort of lycanthropy gene. The war was slowly beginning. And yet here they were smiling in bed together. Tonks swung her leg over Remus' body and pushed herself up so she was straddling him. Remus laughed at her while she sat there running her hands over his chest.
"Remus," she said, "I'm so glad we're together. Here. I'm glad you didn't run off last night."
"Never again," he said taking her hands. "How are you feeling? Handling everything that happened last night?"
Tonks' smile faded. She didn't move from where she sat. She didn't know how she was feeling. Dumbledore dying, it wasn't expected. With his death the war had begun. But then she imagined what Dumbledore would think of the position she was in at that moment. Sitting on top of Remus Lupin. Especially after she yelled at him for putting Remus in danger.
"It's all numbing," she finally said. "What do we do now? You think Mad-Eye will send you back to spy?"
Remus put his hands on her thighs. "I don't think so. I'm sure I'm needed here more now. Voldemort made sure that Dumbledore died. It's time to fight. We knew this was coming."
"I guess," she said. "I guess I was just praying that somehow Dumbledore would find a way to stop it."
Tonks crawled off of Remus and started towards the kitchen. She was in need of a cup of tea that morning. She hadn't eaten for hours. Remus quickly got up and followed her. He walked up behind her and gently placed his hand on the small of her back. She wasn't crying or shaking. She had a look of pure determination on her face. She looked up at Remus and knew that he wasn't going to leave her again.
"We have to win this, Remus," she said, her voice strong and serious.
"We will," he told her.
A few days had passed and Remus hadn't left the cottage. He and Tonks had been making themselves a little nest in the house. They sat up late talking and Remus finally got around to reading more of Anna Karenina. Remus watched as Tonks bustled around the kitchen breaking things and dropping pots while attempting to make dinner that she insisted she do. Remus believed she thought she needed to be a little like Andromeda. He had heard much from Sirius about Tonks' mother. But Remus didn't want Tonks to feel as though she needed to be a perfect housewife. That's not what all of this was about. He wanted her to be her clumsy, never cooked a meal before self. That's the woman he fell in love with. But it was so very endearing watching her as she cursed the objects she was using that he didn't say anything.
The day of Dumbledore's funeral had come. Tonks had woken up early to prepare for the day. She made a pot of tea and waited as Remus rose and put on his robes. Tonks looked in the mirror and thought she should dull her hair, now that she could again, but Remus had convinced her that Dumbledore would want her sporting her favorite bright pink. Because that meant she had finally found happiness again.
The couple walked up to the castle from Hogsmeade together. As they got closer to the castle they saw the students and many people from all over the world slowly filing into seats. They saw Hagrid sobbing into his tablecloth sized hanky. Remus looked at Tonks and saw tears falling from her eyes. He quickly took her hand and they continued to walk and find a seat. Neither were surprised at the people in attendance. Dumbledore knew and touch many people's lives.
They saw Harry briefly as they found seat and sat down. People were chatting and the sun was barreling down on them. It was warm and beautiful. Tonks thought it was the perfect day to be having this funeral. The day represented so much of who Dumbledore was. Always seeing the light and even under the worse circumstances he spoke highly of people.
The ceremony didn't last long. Kind words were said of Dumbledore. Everyone seemed to be crying while listening. The white flames erupted startling many people in the crowd. Then the white tomb was standing there. Dumbledore resting beneath it. It was so surreal sitting there watching someone they had known for so long be laid to rest. Knowing they wouldn't be seeing him again. The twinkle in his eyes had finally gone out.
Tonks remembered how many times she had gotten out of trouble after being sent to Dumbledore. Especially if Snape had caught her breaking the rules. Dumbledore had always found her so entertaining while she was a student. She would sit in front of his desk trying to explain herself and tell him that she wasn't at fault as her hair changed to a wonderful shade of orange. The color is often changed to when she was lying as a teenager, before she had absolute control over it. She always knew he wasn't going to punish her when he would look up from his desk over his half-moon glasses and smile at her. They would share a small smile and he'd offer her some sort of sweet before sending her off to her lessons.
Remus put his arm around Tonks' shoulder as he watched his old headmaster ending his life in the one place he loved more than anything else. Remus knew how much Dumbledore loved teaching at Hogwarts. How he loved molding the minds of young witches and wizards. How he told Remus that because he was a werewolf he was the perfect candidate to teach at the school. Maybe it would help students see that not all creatures are dangerous. That sometimes when in human form they can be the kindest of people. And when Remus went to resign Dumbledore attempted to convince him to stay, but knew it was a lost cause. Knew that Remus wouldn't be able to teach if he felt as though he wasn't wanted. And he let him go.
Remus and Tonks walked slowly back to her Hogsmeade cottage. But not before Mad-Eye had told them that they would be moving headquarters. With Snape now openly in Voldemort's ranks it was far too dangerous to go back to Number 12 Grimmauld Place. They agreed to wait for news of where headquarters would be moved.
They didn't speak for a while once they had returned. They had a small bite to eat, but still sat in silence. It was nightfall before either even had the energy to speak again. And this was important. Remus hadn't spoken at all because he had been thinking about what was next for him. For him and Tonks. He knew what he needed to do. Not because he had to, but because he wanted to make sure that he made Tonks the happiest he could before all hell broke loose with this new war.
"Dora," he said as they were both readying to slip into bed that night. He walked over to her side of the bed and took her hands. They walked over to the window and looked up at the stars and the moon. It was more beautiful that night than Remus had seen it in years. "I have to say something to you," he said.
Tonks' heart stopped for a brief moment. He was going to leave again. After he had convinced her and she had convinced herself that he wouldn't. Not today. Why was he doing this today?
"I love you," he started. "When I was a teenager I watched James and Sirius with the girls at Hogwarts. I had convinced myself that I wouldn't get a life like that. I accepted it. It was fine. I have spent most of my life completely alone. Wondering around trying to stay sane. Trying to stay alive. Sometimes wishing that I wasn't."
Tonks wrapped her arms around him and refused to move.
"Then this witch came, literally, stumbling into my life," he continued, making her laugh. "A witch that made me rethink everything that I had convinced myself of since I was eleven years-old. I fell in love with her and surprisingly enough she fell in love with me. And she is so incredibly stubborn that she got me to stop feeling so bad for myself. She got me to let her love me."
"She's grateful that you did," Tonks inserted. They both chuckled and looked at each other.
"Dora," he said. "We should get married. I want to marry you. Will you marry me?"
Tonks was frozen. This was very soon after they had actually became a couple. Since he had allowed himself to have this in his life. She looked at the sincerity in his eyes. He really did love her and truly wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
"Yes," she said jumping up, wrapping her arms around his neck, and kissing him. "Remus Lupin, I love you so much. You really mean it? You're not going to freak out and run are you?"
"No," he said kissing her. "Not as long as I have you."
The newly betrothed couple stood there. Tangled in each other's arms bathed in the moonlight. Happy.
A/N: Soooo, because I had been waiting to write this chapter I wrote it really fast. I love the end of this and I loved writing all the mushy love stuff between these two. I'm so happy that I finally wrote enough to get them together. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I'm sure you know what's coming next.
Again hope you enjoyed. Please favorite, follow, and/or review and to follow me on social media. Twitter: /QueerAsColiver. Instagram: /fangirl_extraodinaire. Tumblr: queer-as-coliver.
XOXO
Taylor