Well, School has been a royal pain, so I haven't gotten too far. I was trying for a little humor in this one. Just a reminder, this probabily will be few and far between for a while, especially now that our band has locked itself into another month of practice. sigh but if I didn't love it, I wouldn't be in it, so, I can't say much.
Athrun stared with an odd sense of fascination as I pulled off my suit to re-reveal the blue skirt Lacus gave me earlier. "You know," Athrun began, not breaking his stare. "You should wear skirts more often."
I shot him a death-glare. "Oh, and why should I do that?" I spat, smoothing out the offending article.
"It accents the fact that you're a woman." He shrugged smugly and left the room.
"What do you mean by that?" I hollered after him, running quickly to catch up. I felt a pang of indignation. Did he doubt my womanhood? How could he? When I caught up to him, I grabbed him by the wrist and spun him around. "What did you mean by that?" I yelled at him.
He looked at me, regarding me for a moment. His head tilted slightly to side, but he kept his eyes on mine. I noticed that he was coming closer. I never saw him move, but I felt it. He pulled his arm back, but I refused to release it. He brought me into him. I felt my face begin to burn. Gently, he set a soft kiss on my lips and whispered "I just meant that you're beautiful."
I did what I could to hurry us along. I didn't want to be caught in public so close to someone. "Kira's probably waiting for us." I stammered, desperate for an escape.
"ATHHA!" someone shouted, rounding the corner, almost tackling me to the ground. I felt Athrun wrench the figure off of me and heard him slam them into a wall.
"Shinn!" Athrun screamed, slapping the man. "What's wrong with you!" Athrun held Shinn up to a brick wall, keeping his feet safely off the ground. Shinn never let his eyes fall from me, though his face began to redden under Athrun's blow.
"What have you done, Athha?" Shinn burst. Athrun set him down, but kept his grip firm.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused as to why I had been assaulted.
"You almost killed the Chairman!" he yelled.
"Did you forget that it was the Chairman that almost killed Lunamaria?" I shot back. Why was he upset? He should be thanking us for our help!
"No, but you would've destroyed us all!"
"How would I have done that?"
"De Lin's last order was to destroy this colony if he didn't return from your stupid duel. Rodney had his finger on the button and would've killed everyone had Kira and I not stopped him!" Athrun relaxed his grip on Shinn.
"He was going to kill me one way or another." Athrun said to himself, looking down. "Where's Kira now?" he asked.
Shinn led us through a busy crowd and into a small building, not saying another word. Lacus laid on a small bed in the corner of the room, Kira sat next to her in a rusty looking chair. "Kira?" I asked, almost not believing that we were all alive.
"She's just exhausted from the media hype." Kira told, not looking to us. "She had to calm the world again."
"Lacus," she could do everything I couldn't. She was everything I wasn't. She had to calm the world, when all I did was cause fights. I walked over to her sleeping form. She was amazing. Kira was amazing. I looked back at Athrun and Shinn. They were also amazing. They could do so much that I could never dream of. Was it because they were coordinators? Is this was Yzak meant by superior? Were they all really that much better than me?
"Kira," Lacus whispered, waking from her nap. Kira bent over and smoothed the hair out of her face. She smiled as she looked at everyone in the room, stopping on Athrun, before ever getting to me. "Athrun, thank you." Athrun bowed in thanks for the gratitude. "De Lin is still alive, I trust?" Athrun nodded again. "I'm glad," Lacus smiled, "There shouldn't be anymore killing." After that, Lacus's eyes fell on me. "Kira, may we have a moment?"
What could she want to talk about? Why just me? What did she have to say? Kira nodded and ushered the other two out, closing the door behind them.
"Cagalli, we all saw the battle." Lacus sat up to look me in the eye. I looked away, afraid of her gaze. "You could've gotten yourself killed."
"I know." I could feel her eyes on me.
"You could've gotten Athrun killed, coming out of his suit like that."
"I know."
"But, if you had just sat still, many lives may have been forfeit. Shinn told you what would've happened if De Lin had been killed I trust. Thank you, Cagalli." What? I looked up to see Lacus smiling heartily at me.
"Lacus, what do you mean?"
"De Lin could've killed everyone, and thanks to you, he is now detained. You saved us all."
"No, all I did was put you all in danger. It's Athrun you should be thanking, or Kira, or Shinn, or yourself, anyone but me." I looked towards the door. I wasn't worth her thanks.
"Cagalli, what's wrong?"
"I don't know." I tried to wave her off.
"You're lying. You're hurting, and you're not letting anyone in to help."
"What are you talking about Lacus?" I almost yelled.
"Cagalli, you think you hide it, don't you? You hide behind your "tough-girl" mask, and hope that the world will keep its distance, but that's not what you need. We want to help you, but you have to let us in."
"I don't need your help!" I ran over to the wall. "I don't need anyone's help! I can do it myself." I slammed the door with my fist. What was she talking about? Was I that easy to read? Could she see that I felt somehow, overwhelmingly inadequate?
The door opened under my hold as Athrun slipped his head in. Seeing me, he quickly slipped inside and shut the door. He grabbed my shoulders as I fought back tears. "Cagalli, what's wrong?" I couldn't answer. He spun me around to face him. I looked down. "Oh, Cagalli." I closed my eyes.
I smelled him, his comforting scent. He pulled my head to his chest. His warmth engulfed me. I forgot everything: why I was upset, the feelings of inadequacy, our proximity. He was the only thing that mattered. I whispered into his chest, "Don't let me go." I clung to him, my comfort.
As if he had heard me, he drew me tighter, vowing to never leave. I was still upset, but none of that mattered. I was lost in him. I felt him slowly step back. I shuffled to stay in his embrace. He continued to back away, slowly leading me across the room. Then, I felt him pull me down. We sat, mildly clumsily on the bed where Lacus mysteriously disappeared from. "It's alright, Cagalli, you're only natural."
"What?" I pulled away, giving him a look of confusion. "Only natural?"
"I know what you're thinking. I know how you feel."
"You could never know my pain, Athha."
"No." I backed away.
"You don't think you can measure up?" Athrun questioned.
"No, I know I can't." I turned to stand, I had to find Kira, maybe he'd understand. But as I began to stand, I felt a strong hand on my arm.
"Cagalli, where would I be without you?" He sounded so honest. I couldn't face him.
"Better off?" I answered, sarcastically.
"Try dead."
"What do you mean?" I turned.
"You've saved my life so many times. I owe you everything. Cagalli, you should never have to feel inadequate."
"But what did you mean by "only natural"?"
"I meant that you can't expect to be measured on the same scale as anyone. Coordinator or Natural. Only you are measured by your scale, and that is only natural." He looked up to me and pulled me to sit with him. "We are always measured against each other, because we can't hide anything. That's what Yzak meant. Coordinators are tapped out, we have no reserve. Our best is truly that. You can always grow, learn, and get better. We know our limits. Granted, it's our highest potential, we lost the ability to exceed those limits. The only exception is Kira."
He looked full into my eyes, unwavering. "That's where your strength is. Never lose that belief in always doing better. That's where Naturals best Coordinators. That's where you should never look down on yourself." He smiled. It was that soft smile that I couldn't resist. I fell into his arms.
"Arigato, thank you, Athrun." I bared my heart. I let down my guard. I cried, pouring all my fears into those stains I made on his shirt.
"Cagalli, will you be okay?" He tilted my head up so that I would look into his eyes. I nodded slightly. "Good," in an instant, he captured my lips in a passionate kiss. I ceased thinking. My mind melted into my emotions and I gave him everything in that kiss. That was my way of telling him everything. It was as though that by sharing that moment I shared my entire soul with him.
He pulled back slowly, opening his eyes even slower. It was a breathless moment, but one that had to come, when he stood and helped me up. Wordlessly, he led me out to where everyone was waiting. Kira looked worried, but he soon mirrored my smile. "The council has already set a court date for their former Chairman. He's been temporarily stripped of his title, due to the commotion. And, Ms. Joule would like to meet with us." Kira reported, saluting me.
"There's no need for that." I told him, reaching out to lower his raised hand.
"Publicity." Athrun whispered in a sing-song voice in my ear. Right, I turned and nodded in thanks for the reminder. I straightened. In public, I was the Lioness of Orb, and a powerful military leader, with Kira as my General.
"At ease, thank you, Kira." Even though I was his military superior, he was still my brother. I had to offer at least the mild courtesy of his name. He smiled and lowered his hand. "Where are we to meet the representative?" I asked in the voice of Cagalli-the-Chief-Representative.
Shinn's turn, I guess. "A small restaurant just outside of town, called the Blue Swan." Shinn also felt the need to salute for some reason. I guess it was because we didn't know who may be watching. The media would be crawling all over this, if they weren't already.
I nodded, "Thank you, when?" Shinn dropped his salute, and it was Lacus's turn.
"7 o'clock, tonight. She's reserved a room, so we'll only have to deal with the press getting in and out."
"May we use your car?" I turned to Athrun, who seemed slightly taken aback.
"Wouldn't you rather show up in more official vehicle?" he pleaded softly.
"No, I want to ride with you." I stated rather flatly.
"Everyone? They won't all fit." Athrun continued, keeping his voice low.
"There's room enough for us." I insisted.
"I'll pester Yzak for his car." Shinn volunteered.
Athrun gave in and consented to drive me, Kira, and Lacus to dinner tonight. With that solved, we all went to Dearka's place to do some laundry and change for tonight.
Well, that's where I'm leaving you all off. I'm trying to get it together to wrap it up. Thanks for all of you who review. (I may feel more initive if I get more of thosehint hint)