Chapter 14:

The days after the strange sensations came at me passed by relentlessly fast. Every day with Peeta was a new day filled with infinite new things, nothing ever being routine. My time with Peeta, no day was ever the same, no day was ever dull, no day ever made me wish I was not married. However, I did wish I would have been in love, and not just in lust, with Peeta to give him the full experience of marriage.

Peeta almost had me convinced that I have a happy, married life with him.

"What about these? I can see you wearing something like that."

"No. Too showy."

"Katniss, sweet pea, the dress you wore the other day covered almost nothing. And we were in public."

"Well, sometimes I do like to drive you crazy when I wear those short dresses that show off my legs, the legs you love to look at."

"Sweet pea, you drive me crazy, whether you're in those dresses or not. It's just like when we were seventeen, in the backseat of my car on prom night. It's funny, really. We made fun of those couples that always ended up in the backseat and you always laughed at people who made love to each other on prom night and look at what we did on prom night, on the backseat."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't remind me of those days. And right when I came home, I realized my mother and father were getting divorced."

"I am glad I have you back. Now I am just trying to win that heart over so you can finally be my wife. By the way, nice job in picking a movie."

I smiled. "It only sucks a little bit."

"A little bit?"

"You're supposed to be trying to satisfy me, remember? You want me to be your wife for a very long time, keep me happy and satisfied?"

"I am doing a pretty good job."

"I beg to differ. Our sexual times together are the only highlights of our relationship."

"So if it weren't for those sexual escapades we have—you wouldn't be here?" Peeta shook his head, only pretending to be serious.

"Besides, I only want that bakery. That is why I am eager to be married to you."

The grin on Peeta's face caused all sorts of sensations arise from within me, both sexual and romantic.

He turned back to the movie while I continued to look at him.

"And that is why those characters are the first to die in these kinds of movies—Katniss, are you falling asleep again? I hate to remind you but you just woke up from your nap."

I blinked my eyes and yawned, leaning into him. "Today is my lazy day. Saturdays are always my lazy day."

Peeta took his eyes from the TV for a second and looked at me. "Those birth control pills have really messed with you."

I nodded, closing my eyes. "I don't understand why I have to take them. They make me sick and they are protecting against nothing, since I can't get pregnant."

"Why are you taking them then? You claim you can't have children. If you absolutely think so, stop with the pills. I think you still believe there is a chance for us."

"Peeta, just shut up and go make me some cheese buns."

"Katniss. You do have hope."

"I don't want to disappoint you—you want kids and I want to give you one." The painful tone in my voice was something even I couldn't manage, couldn't bear. Without looking at Peeta, or saying anything else, I slipped on my shoes and went outside.

Peeta moved to follow me.

"Peeta, please don't follow me."

"Katniss, where are you going?"

"Peeta, please just stay back." Living in bliss for a month or so hadn't made me forget about my cop abilities, so I broke off into a fast run. (I did have to chase criminals at this speed.) But I had almost forgotten that Peeta had once been the undefeated person on the track team. I had the lead for a while and right when he was about to grab me, I threw myself off the rock I had had stopped at.

Of course, upon landing—no, I had not committed suicide—inside the water of the lake, I gasped. The water wasn't freezing, but not exactly at a warm temperature. It didn't matter when I emerged because I was laughing. Peeta landed in another area and when he saw me, he swam to where I stood.

"That was something."

"I told you nothing would happen if we jumped off that rock. But no—you always have to be the overprotective brother slash best friend."

Peeta laughed. "Please don't use brother when you're describing me. I don't think a brother would sleep with his sister. A best friend, however. . ."

I stayed quiet as I looked around myself, taking in every detail of my surroundings.

And I was taken back to seventeen.

Of the way Peeta and I had jumped into the lake after Peeta and I decided prom was over.

The way he had kissed me.

The way he had touched me.

The way he had loved me.

There was no doubt in my mind that the feelings I was feeling were the same as that prom might, maybe a little bit stronger but still the same.

I loved Peeta. He'd been my best friend for years, countless years—how could I not fall in love with my best friend?

I looked over at him and said, "I love you, Peeta."