A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it has been SO long. I have been on vacation/holiday for a while and I didn't have any internet or anything. I'm back now though and ready to pick up again. Sorry to keep you waiting so long, I hope I haven't lost anyone's interest.
Time frame: Same day as the last chapter –for the first part anyway- I apologise if you think I'm taking this story too slow. If you do, let me know in a review please!
Katniss is still 5 months pregnant just to let you know. (5 and three quarters technically at the end of this chapter).
I tried to stay calm as I trudged back into the victor's village, but I could feel my emotions already taking their toll. I felt so drained. What right did he think he had to just come back into our lives when we'd spent so long trying to heal from his leaving?
No Katniss. I thought. You know there's a part of you that will be happy to see him.
I unlocked the door to our house and shook off my boots, struggling to bend down to untie them first, due to my bump. By the time I'd gotten my jacket off too, I felt tired but hungry. I wandered through into the kitchen and opened the fridge, seeing a soup Peeta must have made yesterday and kept cool for me. I sighed at his thoughtfulness. Ever since I'd become pregnant, I felt less and less independent, which was always something that came naturally to me.
I grabbed a saucepan out from the cupboard and began to reheat the soup on the stove, slowly stirring the wooden spoon around as my eyelids began to fall. Eventually it started to boil, so I knew to take it off, and I poured it into a bowl before settling down in the kitchen to eat it. Glancing at the clock I realised Peeta wouldn't be home for at least another couple of hours. I missed him so much when he was gone.
I savoured the warm food as I ate quickly. I was nearly finished when the doorbell rang. Before I could even get up to answer it, a familiar voice echoed through the hallway, and the sound of the wind rushing into the house whistled through to me.
"Hello? Katniss?"
"In here."I called back as I swung my feet around to get off the bench and greet Delly, but she was already in the kitchen. Her bright hair had flecks of snow dusted into it. I grimaced.
"It's snowing?" I asked hesitantly. That meant more dangers when walking outside. Besides, I'd never been fond of the stuff anyway. It made hunting hard and it sent various creatures into hibernation. Something about today was just determined to remind me of him. I couldn't shake him loose from my thoughts...
"Katniss?" Delly asked, a worried look on her face as I zoned out into my memories. I looked up at her, and she moved around to the other side of the table. "Are you okay?" She questioned again, positioning herself to face me as she sat down.
"Oh yeah, I'm fine, sorry." I said shrugging, and then felt rude. "There's some soup on the stove if you want some. I just heated it up." I offered her, starting to stand but Delly held out a hand to stop me.
"No no, it's alright really, I'm just popping by on my way into town." She said suddenly. The tip of her nose was a deep pink from the chilliness outside. The clouds just this morning had looked ominous, I should have guessed it would start snowing sometime soon.
I studied Delly's face and realized she was holding back from saying something.
"Delly, what is it?" I asked this time, worried. I realized I wasn't hungry anymore, and pushed aside my remaining soup in the bowl.
She shook her head. I caught on. She knew too.
"You know about him." I stated, not as a question, but as a fact. Delly gave her head a tiny nod, and I saw some snowflakes fall onto her jacket at the movement. They were melting quickly in this warm house.
"Vick told Thom." She mumbled, looking embarrassed though I couldn't figure out why. I wonder what Vick thought of his brother's return visit, what did Thom even think? More importantly, was it just a visit? I hated having unanswered questions lingering around my head. It made me think too much about something that I didn't want to think about.
"When is he coming?" I asked gingerly. Delly looked at me hard for a moment before she continued.
"I'm not sure, he just said soon. He heard about you and Peeta," she said motioning towards my belly, but offered no further explanation. I wonder what Gale would feel towards the situation. Why would he come all the way back here to just say congratulations, he could have sent a card or rung the house. The number had never changed. I found myself feeling angrier and angrier as I pictured his face. A ripe age of twenty the last time I'd seen him. His skin young, but worn, his body fit but withered with pain, the same grey eyes that I adorned, and that mine and Peeta's baby might do too...
"Katniss, how are you feeling about him coming back?" She asked caringly, her hand extended out to take mine which was drumming on the hard wood in front of me, little to my knowledge. Her touch felt warm despite the conditions she'd just come in from. Delly's eyes met mine in sympathy.
"I'm not sure." I confessed, suddenly feeling hopeless. "Half of me wants to see him more than anything, and the other half of me cannot even bear the thought of looking at him one more time. When he comes, he brings not only himself with him, but a whole other list of ghosts of people and places I don't want to go back to." I surprised myself by sharing. There was something about being with Delly, she was just so sweet and loving that you couldn't help but open up to her. I trusted her, and I couldn't talk about this with Peeta.
Oh god Peeta.
"How am I supposed to tell Peeta?" I asked, frantic suddenly at the thought. Delly knew the real depth of the question being asked. Peeta had made such a remarkable improvement from his hijacking, and all of that had been with Gale absent. Gale had been part of his bad thoughts, his 'shiny' memories. If Gale returned, would Peeta snap back into his Capitol-created world and leave mine? Before I knew it, I had burst into tears.
"Oh Katniss, I'm sorry. I didn't come here to upset you." Delly said apologetically as she got up from the table and came over to me, sitting down next to me and placing an arm lightly around my shoulder. I clung to my stomach as I wept, unable to organize my thoughts back into a clear frame of mind. This was all too much. Everything that had happened recently. There were too many people that I couldn't see again but so desperately wanted to.
"It was nothing you did Delly. I'm the one that should be apologizing. Hormones and everything." I rubbed my face with the back of my hand feeling embarrassed. The hormone part I would never know was true or not, but it did seem that I was more emotional since I'd been carrying her.
"No you shouldn't. Everything's just happening quicker than you expected that's all. You've dealt with a lot these last few months without the fact that you're pregnant as well." She said soothingly as she stroked my braided hair. I could tell ever since she'd become a mother to Mika she had changed into an even more caring person if that was possible. She knew how to deal with things better, and she was firmer with other people she disagreed with.
"He shouldn't come." She whispered so softly, I thought it was a trick of my ears.
I stopped crying and looked up at her. Her green eyes were troubled. She acknowledged me looking at her and her eyebrows drew together in a frown.
"I know it's not my place to say Katniss, but he shouldn't. Not with everything going on in your life, it's not the right time." She sighed, her arm still around me. I pulled back a bit to face her clearer. I didn't realize Delly would have felt the same way as me. She'd always seemed fond of Gale in 13.
Most people did.
"You're right." I muttered, but my mind was still torn in two, right down the middle.
...
I lay awake in bed, unsure what the time was. I didn't want to get out of it and use the bathroom, for fear of waking Peeta up. He'd been working so hard at the bakery at the moment, not wanting to load the boys on with too much, always overdoing himself to make sure we had enough money for when she came. He slept much more soundly than he had even a year ago now. The exhaustion overtook him.
I listened to his breath rise and fall and envied him in that moment for being able to be pulled under by the mercy of sleep, and by the sounds of it, or lack off, he wasn't having a nightmare. Both of us were quite verbal when it came to those.
I felt it again; what had woke me up a couple of hours ago, and rubbed a hand across my stomach. Twenty three weeks now. And boy could she kick. That one wasn't too bad, and they seemed to be settling down a little now, so I turned over and willed my eyes to stay shut long enough for me to have a chance to sleep, and prayed mentally that she would stop it just for a little while so I could catch up on the lost night. I would be extra tired tomorrow.
After a while my breathing became more shallow and I felt my mind shutting off into sleep. Just when I thought I was safe, and blow came strong and hard to my abdomen.
"Ah!" I gasped as I clutched it in the spot where a foot or elbow had just jabbed me. It was still such a bizarre feeling; she had just done it for the first time over two weeks ago. I pressed the other hand to my mouth instantly, realizing how loud I'd just been, and sure enough I heard Peeta stir beside me, rolling over towards me in bed as I had my back to him. If I stayed still long enough, maybe he would think he was dreaming and he'd go back to sleep. I desperately wanted him awake with me, to keep me company and hold me, but he needed to rest too, I couldn't be so dependent upon him all the time.
"Katniss are you okay?" He asked, sleepily but urgent. He rested his chin on my shoulder as he nestled his body into mine. The warmth he brought with him was comforting. I felt awful for waking him.
"Yeah." I croaked out. "She's just been keeping me awake with all the kicking." I explained, and though I couldn't see Peeta's face in the darkness of the room, I could hear his breath hitch as he took in what I'd just told him. Even in the blindness, I could tell he was happy.
"Is she still doing it?" He asked, gently placing his arm around my side so his hand rested on my stomach. I guided it to the spot where she had just done it moments ago.
"Are you kidding me? She doesn't stop." I groaned, and right on queue she bumped around again. I inhaled quickly at the brief discomfort but smiled, even though Peeta would not be able to see it. He let out a small laugh.
"It's alright for you." I murmured, rubbing the back of his hand lovingly as he kept a grip on my stomach. He kissed my shoulder and lowered his head back down, but on my pillow, still spooning me.
"She's strong Katniss." He whispered, his voice already not tired anymore. "She's gonna be a fighter."
I mused over this thought. Peeta would think that no matter what with both of our genes, but all this movement, though disturbing and unsettling to me, was reassuring too.
"Maybe this means she's going to be a hunter like her Mother." Peeta hummed as he pulled up the covers higher over the both of us. "You'll be able to teach her to run around those woods in no time."
I lay still and listened to his voice. I didn't want to comment. I didn't want to tell him how I would be too afraid for a long time to let her into the dangers of the woods, of the world. How I wanted to just keep her in his arms forever, safe. So instead, I just listened as his voice guided me to sleep, with her still moving within me, and Peeta's hand capturing it all.
...
I stifled a yawn as I traipsed downstairs to see Peeta off. We'd both woken up early. Me mainly because I needed to pee so badly with the baby pushing on my bladder, and Peeta because he always beat the sun up when it came to work days.
"You going to be okay today?" He asked as he bent down to tie his shoes. I rolled my eyes.
"I'll be just fine." I replied and he looked vaguely satisfied with the answer. When he was finished with his shoes, he walked over to me as I sat on the stairs in front of the door, and planted a kiss on my forehead.
"Take it easy." He murmured and placed a hand on my stomach, bending down. "And no more kicking your mother." Peeta said in what was supposed to be a telling-off tone but it came out too sweet. I pushed his shoulders gently, urging him to go before opening time.
"Go!" I said, as I stood up and retreated up the stairs a little as he opened the door and the torrential snowfall blasted through into the hallway.
"I think I've got everything." Peeta said, patting down his pockets quickly before looking at his watch and turning around, waving goodbye.
"I love you." He called over the wind and I waved back, as he closed the door with a huge smile on his face.
"I love you too." I whispered into thin air. It was my fault he'd gotten up in such a hurry. I'd woken him up last night and he'd stayed awake for hours after evidently from the dark bags under his eyes.
Just as I turned around myself to go back up the stairs a moment later, there was a knock on the door. I huffed and trudged back down them, wanting to go and make the bed quickly so I wouldn't get back into it, even though I was dressed and ready for the day.
"Peeta, I swear if you've forgotten your keys again I am going to tie them-" I was cut short in shock as I managed to heave open the door. The wintery wind whipped my face and freshly washed, wet hair, and I was paralyzed to the spot as if the frost from the day had stuck me to the floor. I found myself unable to move my face, to say something, to breathe.
The face that I had dreamt about for so long was staring right at me, like a mirage made up inside my head.
Was I still asleep?
"Hey Catnip." He spoke.
A/N: Only a short-ish one this time as I felt like I needed one more to tie in the next storyline coming. Hope that's okay. I will definitely update this quicker now I have returned from my travels! Got a lot in store for these next few chapters :D Please review, reviews are love and I will definitely write quicker!