Chapter Fourteen

This isn't Heaven

Christy remained silent throughout breakfast and the drive to the theatre. She was silent while last minute alterations were made to her gowns. She felt nothing at all for she was nothing. When she came out on stage for her warm up, her heart stopped when she saw Erik. He studied her, as if he were trying to read her thoughts.

Gerald poked her. "He's not teaching you anymore."

"Miss Butler," Erik said in a cross and grumpy voice that she hadn't heard since the day she met him. "over here now please."

She obeyed and ignored Gerald. She avoided his eyes and picked up the music at the piano. "Wishing you were somehow here again' I see."

"Yes." He leaned forward and pointed at some lines he'd outlined. "Pay special attention to these places." He glanced around and saw that Gerald was talking to the director. "What happened last night Christy? What was said that caused you to change your mind?"

She gripped the paper tightly. "I can't say it. If…Gerald even heard us talking together. It'd be bad."

He stepped back and made gestures that suggested that he was explaining something. "But if it looks like it's perfectly business, he won't know. You shocked me so much, words left my mouth." He stepped behind her and pointed to a spot on the music. "Now they're back, and I've got dozens of questions."

"Erik, please." She begged as he ran his hand down her arm. "Don't."

"Christy, please." He begged. "I deserve to know what was said. I'll find out even if I have to keep after you." His voice grew darker. "even if I have to start stalking you."

"Christy," Gerald said as he came up to her. Erik stepped away and Gerald placed his arm around her waist. She shuddered inwardly but tried not to show any emotion on her face. Once glance at Erik's face confirmed that he knew something was wrong.

Gerald held up her hand that had the ring he'd bought for her. "We're officially engaged now." He kissed her and she fought the urge to where his lips touched.

"Congratulations." Erik acknowledged her though. "You look very happy."

She trembled slightly under his gaze and turned to Gerald. "Did you want something?"

"Yes. The director said that later today he'd like to run through phantom of the opera one more time, he was thinking of putting some more smoke and blue lights. Are you warmed up for it?"

She looked at Erik. "Am I warmed up enough for it?"

"If your heart's in it." He said as he pinned her with a look that made her heart stop. "Then you know if you're ready."

Gerald took her by the arm and hastily whisked her away. "Don't forget," he hissed. "that if you break down and his face will wind up a sensation for the world."

"I haven't." She yanked her arm away and shot him a withering look. "And keep your hands off me!"

Gerald let go of her and leaned close. "You better get used to it. Especially by the time I carry you into our bridal suite." He pressed a kiss on her cheek. "I'll be looking forward to the moments that follow."

"Never!" She hissed. "I'll never…be…yours."

"Who says you have to agree?" He grinned. "Once you're married, you're mine. To do with as I please!"

She glared at him. "Then….you'll have to rape me. Every single night."

"You'll get used to it." He said, running his finger down her arm. "Later love." He smirked before walking away.

Disgusted, she wiped off his touch and shuddered as she rethought the last part of his sentence. Nausea built over in her and she moaned in torture as she visualized his hands clutching her; his lips over hers and his body inside hers.

"I saw that." Erik said in her ear. She jumped and spun around. "What is it?"

"Nothing." Her hands shook as she fumbled for a way to change the subject. She pointed to a spot in the music. "I see you want me to put more vibrato here. Wouldn't it be better here?"

"Christy," he turned her around. "something's wrong. You don't wipe the kiss of a man you're going to marry. Only of a man you can't stand. But why…would you marry a man…you can't stand?" He studied her and she dropped her gaze. "You're being forced to marry him, aren't you?" She spun away and he spun her back. "I know it Christy. I know you."

"Can this wait? We're rehearsing now. We should be focused on our performances." She pulled away and closed her eyes for a moment, trying to regain composure. "Nothing else matters. Just pleasing the audience. Remember?"

"Fine, use my words against me." He leaned closer. "I almost broke you that time, I will next time. every time you look upset, I'll be behind you."

"So what?" She hissed. "I'm no angel! Even angels have a right to some privacy! Leave me!"

He walked away and his voice filled the room. A new song she hadn't heard before.

Curious, she walked towards the piano to examine the music. The song was called this isn't heaven, by Rogers and Hammerstein from the 1962 version of State Fair. She remembered when she first heard Bobby Darin sing it. She loved it. She put the paper down and picked up her music to study it.

this isn't heaven, who needs it. This is the earth and you. You're not an angel, who wants one? You in the flesh will do. She moaned and clenched her hands tight, rumpling the paper badly. you're so real, I'm reeling. Who called you divine? Eric stepped towards her and his voice pounded in her brain. Watch me walk across the ceiling shouting, "you're mine! You're mine!" This isn't heaven; so what? You're not an angel, no you're not.

She tried to move, but he moved with her, pining her against the piano. she dropped her gaze and studied the music that blured before her eyes. You're mine, you're mine. He was right. She was his. His breath tickled her neck and she closed her eyes for a moment.

Imagining him, in all the situations Gerald had described with her. Her spirit lifted for a moment, then her hand felt the ring Gerald bought her and all hopes crashed. She hardened her heart and stopped her ears to Erik. She couldn't and wouldn't give in. but she was beginning to bend under the pressure and she'd only seen him five minutes. His music, was working through the chinks of steel around her.

Erik studied Christy's face for the thirteen millionth time before glancing at Gerald who had been practially gloating all day. He gloated at him, but watched Christy and him as if he were afraid of something. He probably was afraid of Christy doing something. But what it could be he couldn't imagine.

Chrisyt. His Christy. Something was wrong with her.

She stayed as far as possible from him during their warm up routines. When she chose her warm up song, instead up choosing an opera one. She requested carrie underwoods previous hit, just a dream. The emotion she sang in the chorus hit him so hard that he'd approached her again. Gerald, once again, dragged her away.

Christy checked her mike before starting to sing. She started off fine, but she sounded…empty. The song was depressing, but she sounded as if she was fighting back tears. He peered closer at her and could see that her eyes were sparkling. As the song progressed the emotion in her voice grew. When the song ended, she was really crying as she sank to the floor. From where he stood, he could see her knuckles were white as she clasped the 'bars' on the 'iron gate.' the tears that rolled down her eyes were real.

That was the last straw. He was going to find out what had happened last night if he had to beat it out of her.

He descened the wall he was standing on quickly, ignoring his cue.

"That's your cue!" Mr. Starr protested.

Erik stalked towards her and grabbed her by the arm. She let out a sharp cry as he dragged her by the arm towards his dressing room.

"Erik!" She cried. "What-what are you doing?"

"You'll find out." He snapped.

"Unhand her!" Gerald shouted from behind them. He could hear him following them, and felt the stares of the cast and crew.

He ignored him and pushed Christy into the room. She gasped as she stumbled forward landing on the cot in the corner. he spun around and locked the dressing room door. Gerald pounded it and continued yelling at them.

"Quiet!" He barked as he shoved the key back in his pocket. He crossed his arms and glared at her. "Now, you've got a lot of expaining to do!"