So I'm honestly feeling very happy that about the reviews I've gotten. Considering I was expecting absolutely none, they came as a welcome surprise. Hope this story proves itself worthy. I will continue to write it so long as even one person continues to wish it.
I don't have much else to update on except I'm entertaining thoughts about in the future possibly having a go at a serious Hermione/Snape fanfic. What do you think?
REALLY special thanks to 00 Not much of a cheese shop, peace-and-war, Tessiuzza 00 for adding Me/My Story to their Favorites/Alerts. You guys rock.
And also mega-grateful-ness to those of you who read and didn't review. (My firm belief that you're out there keeps me going.)
Chapter Fourteen: Invitations, Congregations, and French Maid Outfits
Enjoy!
Seamus Finnigan was getting scared. It was a beautiful September day and he was just leaving breakfast to go out on the grounds to enjoy the nice weather before his first class when he kept hearing footsteps behind him. Every time he would turn around, however, there would be no one there and the footsteps would cease.
He was at the edge of the forbidden forest, under a shady oak where he was going to plop down and start some homework, when a black gloved hand shot out and grabbed his shoulder. "Finnigan." it said coldly.
Seamus went pale. "Who are you what do you want?"
"What I want is for you to leave Harry Potter alone. Can you do that for me?" the voice asked.
"You don't own him." Seamus spat, his want for Harry overpowering his fear. He turned to look into a hooded face. "Who are you anyways?" he eyed the figure suspiciously.
"That is none of your business. And yes, I do own him. He is mine and not yours. And you'd better leave him alone, or you will run into some very ...unfortunate accidents. Do I make myself clear?"
"Crystal." Seamus gulped.
"Wonderful. But I'm afraid I have to ensure that this little lesson of mine…sticks." The mysterious man pulled something out of his robes.
Seamus looked at the item and started screaming "NO! PLEASE NO! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE NOOO!"
Harry was extremely bored. It was after lunch, he was sitting in his and Draco's rooms, with nothing to do having excused himself from the remainder of his classes. He hadn't seen Draco at lunch, or in Potions where Snape had taken away over fifty house points because Harry sneezed and then made him apologize to everyone in the class individually for his sneeze.
He hated Snape.
Now he was waiting in his dorm, pacing the floor, waiting for Draco. What was worse, he couldn't find his portable DVD player, which made him feel uneasy because he was certain that he had left it on the table the night before.
He had worn a significant hole in the floor by the time Draco's blonde head slid through the portrait. "There you are! I've been waiting for you! Where were you?" he demanded of the Slytherin.
"I was just taking care of some business." Draco said offhandedly and then threw himself down onto the couch. " I'm beat. What say we have dinner brought to us tonight?"
"Alright." Harry said. "Draco, do you know what I did with my portable DVD player? I can't find it anywhere!"
"I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about Harry Potter." Draco said so fast it made Harry suspicious.
"Umm...ok whatever. Anyways, I guess I'll just have to use the regular one."
"What regular one?"
"Oh, well I emailed my friend Tom Felton , you wouldn't know him, he's a muggle. And well him and my other friend Daniel Radcliffe got me a tv and a regular DVD player and sent it to me. I don't know how they managed. But yeah they were my good buddies. I wish they were wizards it would be cool to hang out with them here. Anyways, this movie we can see alot bigger and alot better." Harry began struggling with a big giant gray box that he took out of the closet and then a smaller, black box that he proceeded to fumble with.
Draco snorted, amused that Harry seemed to forget sometimes that he could do magic. He watched Harry as he began rumaging through his DVD's trying to find the perfect one.
"Thats funny. I know I packed it..." Harry muttered to himself. He turned to his smirking lover. "Draco have you seen my 'Hannah Montana' dvd?" he asked uncertainly.
"Nope. Never heard of it."
"Hmm.. That's funny. Oh well I guess we'll just watch Pirates of the Carribean." Harry shrugged and slipped the disc into the player.
They settled down to watch the movie, Harry worrying where his Hannah Montana dvd had went to, and Draco wondering how his life had taken such an excellent turn for the better.
"Okay settle down everyone, settle down. The meeting will begin. Our spies are late, but maybe they're just tracking down some extra information." Colin Creevey tapped the podium with a wooden gavel.
Everyone stopped talking and turned to the front.
"Okay now I am not an information collector, I am the leader I only report what I just happen to come by and so far I have found out something interesting."
"Ooh what is it Colin?" asked Padma.
"Harry Potter has not been spending recent nights in Gryffindor Tower, he has been staying out all night and not making himself seen until breakfast. When questioned, Harry Potter stated that he was studying for his NEWTS. Rodney, get started on this story immediately. Headline: Potter's Late Nights, Book affair? Or Hidden Secrets?"
Rodney nodded and began typing.
Glo giggled. "I like that."
"That brings me to you Glo, our fifth and last spy. You do a lot for our group. You're a spy, you write the advice column, most of the girl gossip from the Snitch...Are you sure you don't want to be just a regular writer?" Colin asked.
"Well, spy work is kind of tiring, but I am very good at it. I love writing a lot though, so I think I'll just stick with writing. Though I'd be willing to spy of course when some really juicy gossip turns up." she glanced up at Colin eyes gleaming with mischief.
"Perfect. Thats your new job. Now, what do you have to report?"
" Mostly Snitch stuff. I overheard some load about Harry being a eunuch, and then about him being molested by his uncle. Also, did you know Neville Longbottom plays with barbies?"
"I'm not interested in Neville Longbottom, but now that you mention it. I think we should put juicy gossip about other students in our paper as well. Not only would more people buy it because, lets face it, not everyone loves Harry enough to buy the magazine, but the extra stuff about other people would draw attention. Ok, um... Kirk, get started on the Neville report, put it in the Snitch. Alicia put the molested story in the Phoenix, make it tragic, sad, Harry is to be the victim. Abby, put the eunuch article in the Snitch, make it be known that it is just gossip. Ernie, go get the advice letters out of the box and bring them to Glo. Glo, call up our spies, and see whats taking the-"
Susan, Larry, Lance, and Max suddenly opened the door and strode into the room. "Sorry we're late Colin." Max said, out of breath.
"What has been going on? First of all, just give me your daily spy reports first please."
"Hufflepuff is dry as my last name." said Susan Bones dryly.
"Same with Ravenclaw" said Larry.
"Gryffindor is just about the same, the only information I have is what you already know. Except that bit about Seamus having a crush on Harry."
"Ernie, put the Seamus bit in the Snitch. Headline: Finnigan falls for Potter, is it true?" Colin cut in.
"Continue." he said.
"Well, there is a rumor going around in Slytherin that Harry is dating one of us. And-
Colin cut in again "Terry put that in the Snitch. Headline: Potter's Slithery Sexcapades" Colin said without blinking. "Again, sorry, go on."
"And theres also a rumour going around that Harry likes brunettes, and also that he was once in love with Sirius Black..." Lance frowned and shrugged.
"Hmm...Kira start on the Sirius story, headline: Harry's past romance with a danger named Black." Colin turned back to the room. "Oh, yeah and Kira, be a dear and write up the brunette thing too, put them both in the Snitch. Is that all we have to report? Oh, I almost forgot, Terry, give Dennis your Quidditch review so he can write up the article. Also, Dennis, report and write up what Potter had for breakfast. Alicia do lunch, and um...Glo you sit close enough, you can do dinner."
Glo raised her hand.
"Yes?"
" Well, I can't do dinner because Harry Potter wasn't at dinner."
"Hmm. Ok then write an article about that. Headline: Potter missing meals, Eating disorder, or Something More?"
Soon everyone in the room was typing while Colin was shuffling through papers. All of a sudden he stood up. "Group, I have an idea. We need to add some things to our zine Padma I want you to get started on adding a weekly horoscope to the Phoenix."
She smiled. "Great idea!"
"And…Lance I want you to find someone who can start making comics." Colin ordered. Lance nodded approvingly.
"Colin, I have those pictures developed. The ones you took." Dennis said, handing Colin a packet.
"Good." he chose a few and handed them out to people to go with the different articles.
"Ok Group, we have a great team built, but it could be better. We all need to work harder, and longer to make the best zine we can. Meeting adjourned." he said with another rap of his gavel.
Hermione was in the library, books piled all around her. She had just confirmed suspicions that Harry Potter was in fact, gay.
The knowledge didn't bother Hermione, however.
It actually made her feel better. She now knew that it wasn't her fault that Harry didn't like her. She could now give up all thought of him and go on with her life.
She was just about to quit researching and go back to Gryffindor Tower when a certain someone sat down across from her. "Hello Granger." said Pansy Parkinson in a would-be casual voice, but sounded way too much like a seductive voice to be casual.
"Oh, Hi Pansy." Hermione said, in a voice too squeaky to be her normal one.
"Whats up?" said Pansy, raising a brow at Hermione's obvious discomfort.
"N-Nothing, just you know, studying."
"Studying gay material for Arithmacy?" Pansy quirked a brow.
"Oh no, I'm just. Well you see- I ...well..."
"Forget it. Not important. What is important, is that The Slytherins are having a party on Samhain, I mean, on Halloween. Its going to be a blast. Its a costume party. Everyone wears a mask, no one will know who you are, so I'm inviting you. Do you want to come?" Pansy toyed with a lock of Hermione's hair, staring at her coyly.
"Well, I'm not sure, the Gryffindors are having a party as well and it would look strange if I didn't attend, but… I guess I could try to make it there. Yeah. I will be there." Hermione confirmed, making up her mind.
"Good." said Pansy leaning forward until she was inches away from Hermione's face. "Here's your key." She said, and dropped a plastic, metallic green card into Hermione's lap. She smiled, got up and walked away.
"Well that was strange." said Hermione, following not long after to go her different route to Gryffindor Tower.
"Blast Potter! I hate you!" roared Snape, pacing around his office again.
He growled. "Its not fair! I had you! My plans were perfect! Now they're ruined and its all your fault!" he yelled pointing furiously at the fanfiction authoress.
Authoress: "Hey don't look at me bub, its not my fault you suck at making plans."
Snape: "I do not "suck" at making plans. Name one plan I've made that I've "sucked" at!"
Authoress: "Hmm…well, let's see, you failed at trying to have a relationship with Lily, you failed at being a true Death Eater, you failed at getting Sirius Black imprisoned, you failed at teaching Harry Occlumency, you failed at not killing Dumbledore, need I go on?"
Snape: "I. Will. Murder. You."
Authoress: "Oh really? Is that supposed to scare me? Please, I control everything."
Snape: "I will inflict serious pain upon you if you do not deliver Harry Potter to my doorstep right this instant!"
Authoress: "Uh huh. And what are you going to do? Spank me and take away my birthday? I'm shaking, I'm shaking."
Snape: "You filthy, ignorant muggle! I demand that you deliver Harry Potter to my doorstep, right now – fucking giftwrapped or you will rue the day you toyed with me!"
Authoress: "You know, I don't think I will do that, but what I can do is give you a bright pink Mohawk, force you into an illicit relationship with a Blast-Ended Skrewt, and throw you in Azkaban with it for being a pedophile. I have a sick mind, I can do things. Or I could just give Neville his boa back…."
Snape turned a sickly pale. "You wouldn't."
Authoress: "Wanna try me?"
Snape gave his famous and deadliest death glare, one that would have made first years pee their pants and stalked out of the scene shouting curses the whole way.
Ron was bored. Very bored. Very bored and Very confused. He had not seen Harry since classes, he always seemed to be disappearing these days. He had also not seen Hermione in what felt like forever and she too was acting rather strange. He had also not seen Seamus Finnigan in a while either, which really didn't bother him because Seamus was kind of annoying, but still and all, everyone it seemed, was disappearing.
He decided to take a walk outdoors to clear his head. He went around Hagrid's hut, past the lake, waving to the giant squid, past the greenhouses, and out near the Forbidden Forest. He sat down to relax.
Soon, he started to hear a faint sound, coming from the shed at the edge of the forest. He decided to go investigate.
He approached the door, and the sound got louder. "Alohamora." he whispered, and as the door swung open, he gasped.
Inside, tied to a chair, was Seamus Finnigan, dressed in a french maid outfit, watching the most horrible thing on a portable DVD player Ron had ever seen. He quickly ran into the shed and turned off the player.
That didn't stop Seamus from smiling insanely and laughing.
"Seamus! Seamus wake up! Dear gods what have they done to you?! Seamus! No!" Ron's screams echoing all the way back to the castle.
"Harry." Draco began, his fingers running smoothly through Harry's hair.
"Mm?" Harry said.
They were both lounging on the couch. Watching yet another DVD."Do you want to go to the Slytherin Halloween party?"
"I can't. My Gryffindor friends would never let me live it down."
"Its a costume party babe, which means no one will even know you're there."
"Oh...ok..."
Draco sighed, it was clear Harry had not really heard him for he was too wound up in the movie. "Five, four, three, two, on-"
"OH! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! What will I wear?!" Harry sprang up and immediately went to his trunk flinging clothes everywhere.
"Harry, hon, you have almost a whole month."
"Thats easy for you to say, I'm catholic, I don't have a lot of options!" Harry screeched, flinging his hands up.
"What?" Draco shook his head, confused.
"Nevermind. Just leave me alone until I find what I'm going to wear." Harry said, ushering Draco back with his hands, like he was trying to keep him from hopping into a fire, and not from interfering with his outfit decisions.
"Ok whatever you want." Draco held his hands flat in front of him and backed up, surrendering.
He walked towards his desk and decided to take this oppurtunity to write home.
Dear Mother,
Thank you very , very much for lending me your french maid outfit, I assure you I put it to good use. I'm happy you took the news of Harry and I so well, please don't tell Father the full truth, you know how he gets.
Also, if you could wire just a bit more spending money to my school account I would be oh so grateful.
Love you Mother,
Kiss, kiss,
Your little fruitcup
Draco folded up the parchment and addressed it. "Harry dear, I'll be right back I have to pay a visit to the owlery."
"Yeah yeah whatever." Harry said waving him off, not paying the least bit of attention.
"Cissa for the last time stop bothering me! I'm trying to perfect my plans." Lucius growled.
Narcissa sighed. "Fine Luci I guess you don't want to have light up ice cubes at our son's fifth birthday."
Lucius started to say something, then stopped, it was useless trying to talk sense into Narcissa.
"Blast you Potter. Vengence will be mine." He muttered, shaking his fist.
Lucius continued scribbling on his plans while Narcissa continued to play pattycake with her invisible purple monkeys.
Ahahaha! Well, that was fun to write! Well...er- to re-write. Lol
I kind of carried the eunuch theme from the "Pirates of the Carribean" dvd into the fan club, and I brought in Tom and Dan a little bit. (If you don't know they are the actors that play Draco and Harry respectively, in the movies) I'm not sure they'd appreciate it, but after so many teenagers lusting after their bodies my crazy antics shouldn't come as much of a shock.
I couldn't help Collin's "headlines" bit. Priceless. And Harry's "catholic" line is taken from a very funny episode of Family Guy (of course) Don't you just love how Harry never has to go to class? And how Pansy's suddenly hitting on Hermione hard. Hopefully you've figured out what drove Seamus to hysterics. Lawl.
Ahh, the wonderful slashy goodness. I should make a sitcom.
Thanks for reading!
Blessed Be~!
Authoress: So have you finally gotten off your high horse Draco?
Draco: Horse? What horse? I don't ride horses. I eat them for breakfast.
Harry: She meant it figuratively love.
Draco: Oh. Well. Whatever.
Authoress: Can I take that as a yes?
Draco: You can't take anything from me, ho-bag.
Harry: (gasps) Just take it as a yes. It's a yes! Draco – shut the hell up.
Draco: I will not! Malfoys' do not have to take crap from silly muggle girls.
Authoress: Where did he learn the term ho-bag?
Harry: Er…well you left your MTV on the other day…
Authoress: Oh God.
Harry: Yeah, you know Draco and tv…
Draco: I am not half as addicted to that talking box as you two.
Authoress: Draco, you-
Draco: I didn't give you permission to speak, muggle.
Harry: Draco!
Authoress: You'd better be nice to me Draco.
Draco: I don't think I will, thanks. You don't deserve nice.
Harry: Draco, really, shut up. Please.
Draco: I won't shut up, this muggle twit has another thing coming if she thinks she can boss me around all day.
Authoress: Draco, I'm warning you, you're in dangerous territory.
Draco: (fake-scared voice) Ooh I'm so afraid. What are you going to do? "Spank me and take away my birthday?"
Harry: Oh Merlin….
Authoress: (wicked smile) That's exactly what I'm going to do.
Harry: Well, this is going to be awkward…
Draco: Yeah right, you couldn't-
Authoress: Bend over Malfoy.